When the Thrill Is Gone

11

There’s a small diner on Forty-sixth just east of Fifth called Winston’s. It’s got a red linoleum counter and yellow tables along the plate-glass front. I didn’t need to tell Aura to meet me there — it was our place. When I arrived just shy of seven I could see through the window that she was already at our table, just being served her coffee.

I stopped at the entrance and allowed myself to be amazed yet again at how my heart began to pound when I saw her. From this sphere of wonder I proceeded to the booth.

We didn’t kiss hello.

I meant to say good morning but uttered “I love you” instead.

She reached out to touch my hand and I felt a thrill of excitement. “Me too.”

I sat, and the waitress, a strawberry blonde with pale skin and a ballerina’s body, took my order.

In contrast to the server, Aura was the color of glittering dark gold. Her hair was blond but wavy. She came by this coloring naturally, seeing as her mother was Danish and her father from Togo. Her pale eyes were no color that I could name.

Less than a year before I had almost died and she sat by me whenever my family wasn’t there. Twill kept tabs on the visits and called her when the coast was clear. Now and then the fever would abate and I’d slit my eyes to see her waiting for my recovery.

I blinked and found myself back in the diner with the woman who willed me back to life.

“You need to pay your rent,” she said.

“I got an advance yesterday.”

The moments passed.

Our breakfasts arrived. I had grits, pork patty sausage laced with sage, and four scrambled eggs. She had grapefruit, Special K, and skim milk.

“What did you want, Leonid?” she asked after the silence stretched halfway through the meal.

“I want you back.”

“How’s Gordo?”

“Dying. Doin’ pretty well at it, too.”

“I can’t,” she said. “Not yet.”

“Why? I’ll leave Katrina.”

“I know. And maybe if you’d done it earlier... No. It’s not your fault. It’s just that I, I’m afraid of losing you.”

“You won’t lose anything. I will be there.”

“When I saw you in that bed I knew that someday you’d die like that,” she said, “bloody and beaten.”

What could I say? I knew it, too.

“Yes, but we all die.”

“Not like that.”

“No,” I agreed. “Not like that.”

“I’ll leave the Tesla Building if you want,” she offered.

“They’ll just hire somebody else to throw me out.”

“How is everything?” the dancer-waitress asked. She was standing there, smiling hopefully.

“Fine,” Katrina said.

“I haven’t seen you guys lately,” the waitress added. “You been away?”

“Different schedules,” Aura said.

When the girl was gone I put down a twenty and stood up.

“Where are you going?” Aura asked.

“I have to leave. You’ll have the rent by three.”