Where There's a Will

WHERE THERE'S A WILL A Nero Wolfe Mystery Rex Stout WHERE THERE'S A WILL I 49 TORN STACEY LTD vi'^- ^v' 112517 KCRTH YORK PUBLIC L'BRARY RATHURST HEiGHTS First published in Great Britain by Wm. Collins Sons & Co. Ltd. This edition published 1971 by Torn Stacey Ltd. 28 Maiden Lane, London, WC2E 7JP England Copyright 1940, renewed 1968, Rex Stout All rights reserved SEN 85468 057 8 Printed in Great Britain by Biddies Limited, Guildford WHERE THERE'S A WILL CHAPTER ONE I put the 1938-39 edition of Who's Who in America, open, on the leaf of my desk, because it was getting too heavy to hold on a hot day. "They were sprinkled at discreet intervals," I stated aloud. "If they didn't fudge when they supplied the dope, April is thirty-six. May forty-one, and June forty-six. Five years apart. Apparently their parents started at the middle of the calendar and worked backwards, and also apparently they named June that because she was born in June, 1893. But the next one shows an effort of the imagination. I prefer to suppose it was Mamma who thought of it. Although the baby was actually born in February, they named it May . . ." There was no sign that Nero Wolfe was listening as he leaned back in his chair with his eyes closed, but I went on anyhow. On that hot July day, in spite of the swell lunch Fritz had served us, I would have sold the world for a dime. My vacation was over. The news from Europe was enough to make you want to put signs at every ten yards along the seacoast, "Private Shore. No Sharks or Statesmen Allowed." I had bandages on my arms where the black flies had bored for blood in Canada. Worst of FR1;4 WHERE THERE'S A WILL all, Nero Wolfe had gone in for a series of fantastic expenditures, the bank balance was the lowest it had been for years, and the detective business was rotten; and just to be contrary, instead of doing his share of the worrying about it he seemed to have adopted the attitude that it would be impertinent to attempt to interfere with natural laws. Which had me boiling. He might be eccentric enough to find pleasure in a personal and intimate test of the operations of the New Deal WPA, but if I had my way about it the only meaning WPA would ever have for yours truly would be Wolfe Pays Archie. So I went on buzzing. "It all depends," I declared, "on what it is that's biting them. It must be something pretty painful, or they wouldn't have made an appointment to call on you in a body. The death of their brother Noel has probably taken care of their financial potentialities. Noel's in here too." I frowned at the Who's Who. "He was forty-nine, the eldest, three years older than June, and was next to Cullen himself in Daniel Cullen and Company. Did it all himself, started there as a runner in 1908 at twelve bucks a week. That was in his obit in the Times, day before yesterday. Did you read it?" Wolfe was motionless. I made a face at him and resumed. "They're not due for twenty minutes yet, so I might as well give you the benefit of my research. FR1;WHERE THERE'S A WILL 5 There's more in this magazine article I dug up than in Who's Who. A lot of rich and colorful detail. For instance, it says that May has worn cotton stockings ever since the Japs bombed Shanghai. It says that Mamma was an amazing woman because she was the mother of four extraordinary children. I have never understood why, in cases like this, it is assumed that Papa's contribution was negligible, but there's no time to go into that now. It's the extraordinary children we're dealing with." I flipped a page of the magazine. "To sum up about Noel, who died Tuesday. It seems he had a row of buttons installed on his desk in the Wall Street offices of Daniel Cullen and Company; one for each country in Europe and Asia, not to mention South America. When he pressed a button, that country's government resigned and they telephoned him to ask who to put in next. You can't say that wasn't extraordinary. The eldest daughter, June, was, as I say, born in June, 1895. At the age of twenty she wrote a daring and sensational book called Riding Bareback, and a year later another one entitled Affairs of a Titmouse. Then she married a brilliant young New York lawyer named John Charles Dunn, who is at the present moment the Secretary of State of the United States of America. He sent a cogent letter to Japan last week. The magazine states that Dunn's meteoric rise is in great FR1;6 WHERE THERE'S A WILL part due to his remarkable wife. Mamma again. June is in fact a mamma, having a son, Andrew, twenty-four, and a daughter, Sara, twenty-two." I shifted to elevate my feet. "The other two extraordinaries are still named Hawthorne. May Hawthorne never has married. They are thinking of prosecuting her under the anti-trust law for her monopoly on brain cells. At the age of twenty-six she revolutionized colloid chemistry, something about bubbles and drops. Since 1933 she has been president of Varney College, and in those six years has increased its endowment funds by over twelve million bucks, showing that she has gone from colloidal to colossal. It says her intellectual power is extraordinary. "I was wrong when I said the other two are still named Hawthorne. In April's case I should have said 'again' instead of 'still'. While she was taking London by storm in 1927 she glanced over the prostrate nobility at her feet and picked out the Duke of Lozano. Four other dukes, a bunch of earls and barons, and two soap manufacturers, committed suicide. But alas. Three years later she divorced Lozano, while she was taking Paris by storm, and became April Hawthorne again, privately as well as publicly. She is the only actress, alive or dead, who has played both Juliet and Nora. At present she is taking New York by storm for the WHERE THERE^S A WILL 7 eighth time. I can confirm that personally, because a month ago I paid a speculator five dollars and fifty cents for a ticket to Scrambled Eggs. You may remember that I tried to persuade you to go. I figured that since April Hawthorne is the acknowledged queen of the American stage, you owed it to yourself to see her." ^ /ti tt 1 1 � n^cfV^v^^ Not a flicker. He wouldn t rouse. "Of course," I said sarcastically, "it is deplorable that these extraordinary Hawthorne gals have no more consideration for your privacy than to come charging in here before you finish digesting your lunch. No matter what is biting them, no matter if their brother Noel left them a million dollars apiece and they want to pay you half of it for putting a tail on their banker, they ought to have more regard for common courtesy. When June phoned this morning I told her--" "Archie!" His eyes opened. "I am aware that you call Mrs. Dunn, whom you have never met, by her first name, because you think it irritates me. It does. Don't do it. Shut up." --I told Mrs. Dunn it was an intolerable invasion of your inalienable right to sit here in peace and watch the bank balance disappear in the darkening twilight of the slow but inevitable dispersion of your mental powers and the pitiful collapse of your instinct of self-preservation--" FR1;8 WHERE THERE'S A WILL "Archie!" He thumped the desk. It was time to side-step, but I was rescued from that necessity by the door's opening and the appearance of Fritz Brenner. Fritz was beaming, and I could .guess why. The visitors he had come to announce had probably impressed him as something unusually promising in the way of clients. The only secrets in Nero Wolfe's old house on 3 ?th Street near the Hudson River were professional secrets. It was unavoidable that I, his secretary, bodyguard, and chief assistant, should be aware that the exchequer was having its bottom scraped; but Fritz Brenner, cook and gentleman of the household, and Theodore Horstmann, custodian of the famous and expensive collection of orchids which Wolfe maintained in the plant rooms on the roof--they knew it too. And Fritz was beaming, obviously, because the trio whose arrival he was announcing looked more like a major fee than anything the office had seen for weeks. He did it in style. Wolfe told him, with no enthusiasm, to show them in. I took my feet off the desk. Though the extraordinary Hawthorne gals did not strongly resemble one another, my discreet glances of appraisal as I got them arranged into chairs made it credible that they were daughters of the same amazing mother. April I had seen on WHERE THERE*S A WILL 9 the stage; now that I got a look at her off of it, I was ready to concede that she could probably take Nero Wolfe's office by storm if she cared to let loose. She looked hot, peevish, beautiful^ and overwhelming. When she thanked me for her chair I decided to marry her as soon as I could save up enough to buy a new pair of shoes. May, the intellectual giant and college president, surprised me. She looked sweet. Later, seeing how determined her mouth could get, and how cutting her voice, when the occasion required it, I made drastic revisions, but then she just looked sweet, harmless, and not quite middle-aged. June, Mrs. Dunn to you, was slenderer than either of her younger sisters, next door to skinny, with hair that was turning gray, and restless dark burning eyes� the kind of eyes that have never been satisfied and never will be. Where they all looked alike was chiefly the forehead�broad, rather high, with wellmarked temple depressions and strong eye ridges. June did the introducing; first herself and her sisters, and then the two males who accompanied them. Their names were Stauffer and Prescott. Stauffer was probably under forty, maybe five years older than me, not a bad-looking guy if he had been a little more careless with his face. He was living up to something. The other one, Prescott, ^s nearer fifty. He was medium-short, with a FR1;10 WHERE THERE'S A WILL central circumference that made it seem likely he would grunt if he bent over to tie his shoestring. Nothing, of course, like Nero White's globular grandeur. I recognized him from a picture I had seen in the rotogravure when he had been elected to something in the Bar Association. He was Glenn Prescott of the law firm of Dunwoodie, Prescott & Davis. He had on a Metzger shirt and tie, and a suit that cost a hundred and fifty bucks, and wore a flower in his buttonhole. The flower was the cause of a little diversion right at the beginning. I have given up trying to decide whether Wolfe does those things just to establish the point that he's eccentric, or because he's curious, or to spar for time to size someone up, or what. Anyhow, they had barely got settled in their chairs when he aimed his eyes at Prescott and asked politely: "Is that a centaurea?" "I beg your pardon?" Prescott looked blank. "Oh, you mean my buttonhole. I don't know. I just stop at the florist's and select something." "You wear a flower without knowing its name?" "Certainly. Why not?" "Wolfe shrugged. "I never saw a centaurea of that color before." "It isn't," Mrs. Dunn put in impatiently. "A centaurea cyanus has a much closer formation--" I WHERE THERE'S A WILL 11 "I didn't say centaurea cyanus, madam." Wolfe sounded testy. "I had in mind centaurea leuco- phylla." "Oh. I've never seen one. Anyway, that isn't a centaurea leuco-anything. It's a dianthus superbus." April started to laugh. May smiled at her as Einstein would smile at a kitten. June darted her eyes that way and April stopped laughing and said in her famous rippling voice: "You win, Juno. It's a dianthus superbus. I don't mind your always being right, not a bit, but when anything strikes me as funny it's my nature to laugh. And,. I might inquire, was I dragged down here to hear you treat the audience to a spot of botany?" "You weren't dragged," the elderly sister retoned. "At least not by me." May fluttered a deprecating hand. "You must forgive us, Mr. Wolfe. Our nerves are quite ragged. We do wish to consult you about something serious." She looked at me and smiled so sweetly that I smiled back. Then she added to Wolfe, "And something extremely confidential." "That's all right," Wolfe assured her. "Mr. Goodwin is my ame damnee. I could do nothing without him. The spot of botany was my fault; ^"ted it. Tell me about the something serious." Prescott inquired reluctantly, "Shall I explain?" 12 WHERE THERE'S A WILL || fc WHERE THERE'S A WILL � 13 April, waving a hand to extinguish the match ices of an able, astute, discreet and unscrupulous with which she had lit a cigarette, and squinting man." to keep the smoke from her eyes, shook her head "That's diplomacy for you," said April, tapping at him. "Fat chance of a man explaining anything ash from her cigarette. with all three of us present." It was ignored. Wolfe inquired, "What kind of "I think," May suggested, "it would be better services?" if June�" I decided what it was about June's face that Mrs. Dunn said abruptly, "It's my brother's needed adjustment. Her eyes were the eyes of a will." hawk, but her nose, which should have been a beak Wolfe frowned at her. He hated fights about to go with the eyes, was just a straight good-lookwills, having once gone so far as to tell a prospec- ing nose. I preferred to look at April. But June was tive client that he refused to engage in a tug of talking: war with a dead man's guts for a rope. But he "Very exceptional services, I'm afraid. My hus- asked not too rudely, "Is there something wrong band says nothing but a miracle will do, but he's with the will?" a cautious and conservative man. You know of "There is." June's tone was incisive. "But first course that my brother died on Tuesday, three days I'd like to say�you're a detective. It's not a detec- ago. The funeral was held yesterday afternoon. Mr. tive we need. It was my idea we should come to you. Prescott�my brother's attorney�collected us last Not so much on account of your reputation, more evening to read the will to us. Its contents shocked because of what you did once for a friend of mine, ^d astonished us�all of us, without exception." Mrs. Llewellyn Frost. She was then Glenna McNair. Wolfe made a little sound of distaste. I knew it Also I have heard my husband speak highly of you. f01' that, but I suppose it might have passed for I gathered that you had done something difficult empathy to people who had just met him. But he for the State Department." saiddrylv: "Thank you. But," Wolfe objected, "you say Those disagreeable shocks would never occur you don't need a detective." tlle ^"eritance tax were one hundred per cent." "We don't. But we very much need the serv- 1 suppose so. You sound like a Bolshevik. But it 14 WHERE THERE'S A WILL wasn't the disappointment of expectant legatee;. it was something much worse�" "Excuse me," May put in quietly. "In my case it was. He had told me he was leaving a million dollars to the science fund." "I am merely saying," June declared impatiently, "that we are not hyenas. Certainly none of us was calculating on any imminent inheritance from Noel. We knew of course that he was wealthy, but he was only forty-nine and in extremely good health." She turned to Prescott. "I think, Glenn, the quickest way will be for you to tell Mr. Wolfe briefly the provisions of the will." The lawyer cleared his throat. "I must remind you again, June, that once it is made public�" "Mr. Wolfe will take it in confidence. Won't you?" Wolfe nodded. "Certainly." "Well." Prescott cleared his throat again. He looked at Wolfe. "Mr. Hawthorne left a number of small bequests to servants and employees, a total of one hundred and sixty-four thousand dollars. A hundred thousand to each of the two children of his sister, Mrs. John Charles Dunn, and a like amount to the science fund of Varney College. Five hundred thousand to his wife; he had no children. An apple to his sister June, a pear to his sister May, and a peach to his sister April." The lawyer looked FR1;WHERE THERE^S A WILL 15 uncomfortable. "I assure you that Mr. Hawthorne, who was not only my client but my friend, was not a freak. There was a statement that his sisters needed nothing of this, that he made those bequests only as symbols of his regard." "Indeed. Does that cover the estate? Around a million?" "No." Prescott looked even more uncomfortable. "The residue will be roughly seven million, after the deduction of taxes. Probably a little less. It was left to a woman whose name is Naomi Karn." "La femme," said April. It was neither a sneer nor a flippancy, merely a statement of fact. Wolfe sighed. Prescott said, "The will was drawn by me after instructions from Mr. Hawthorne. It is dated March 7, 1938, and replaced one which had been drawn three years previously. It was kept in a vault "i the office of my firm. I mention this on account of intimations made last evening by Mrs. Dunn and Miss May Hawthorne that I should have notinea them of its contents at the time it was drawn. As you know, Mr. Wolfe, that would have been--" "Nonsense," May said cuttingly. "You know - ,y very well we were upset. We were gasping." ''/ r'/>.-;^^ "We still are." June's eyes pierced Wolfe. "You wu! please understand that my sisters and I are 16 WHERE THERE'S A WILL perfectly satisfied with our fruit. It isn't that. But think of it, the sensation and scandal of it! I can hardly believe it! None of us can. It's incredible. My brother leaving his entire fortune, the bulk of it, to that--that--" "Woman," April suggested. "Very well. Woman." "It was his fortune," Wolfe observed. "And apparently that's what he did with it." "Meaning?" May inquired. "Meaning that if it's the sensation and scandal you object to, the less you say and do about it the sooner it will be forgotten." "Thank you," said June sarcastically. "We need something better than that. The publication of the will alone would be bad enough. Considering that millions are involved, and the position of my husband, and of my sisters--My Lord! Don't you realize that we're the famous Hawthorne girls, whether we like it or not?" i/- "Of course we like it," April asserted. "We love it." "Speak for yourself. Ape." June kept her eyes on Wolfe. "You can imagine what the papers will do. Even so, I think your advice is good. I think the best plan would be to do and say nothing, let it run its course and ignore it. But it isn't going to be allowed to run its course. Something utterly WHERE THERE'S A WILL 17 horrible is going to happen. Daisy is going to contest the will." Wolfe's frown deepened. "Daisy?" "Oh, excuse me. As my sister said, our nerves are in shreds. Our brother's death was a staggering shock. Then its aftermath--yesterday the funeral --and then this. Daisy is my brother's wife. His widow. She is well established as a tragic figure." Wolfe nodded. "The lady who wears a veil." "So you know the legend." "Not a legend," May declared. "Much more than a legend. A fact." "I merely share the public knowledge," said Wolfe. "Of the story that--some six years ago, I believe--Noel Hawthorne was doing archery and an arrow, which he let fly inadvertently, tore a path through his wife's face, from her brow to her chin. She had been beautiful. Since then she has never been seen without a veil." April said, with a little shudder, "It was dreadful. I saw her in the hospital, and I still dream about it. She was the most beautiful woman I ever saw except a girl selling cigarettes in a cafe in War saw." ^ "She was emotionally barren," May asserted. "Like me, but without alternatives. She should never have married our brother or anyone else." June shook her head. "You're both wrong. Daisy FR1;18 WHERE THERE'S A WILL was too cold to be truly beautiful. The seeds of emotion were in her, waiting to germinate. The Lord knows they're bearing fruit now. We all heard the vindictiveness in her voice last night, and that's an emotion, isn't it?" June's eyes were at Wolfe again. "She's implacable. She's going to make it as ugly as she can. The income from half a million dollars would be ample for her, but she's going to fight. You know what that will be like. Utterly horrible. So your advice to let the scandal run its course is inadequate. She hates the Hawthornes. My husband would be called as a witness. All of us would." May put in, with all the sweetness gone both from her tone and her eyes, "We are going to prevent it." "We want," said April, letting fire with her ripple, "we want you to prevent it, Mr. Wolfe." "My husband spoke very highly of you," June stated, as if that settled everything, including the weather. "Thank you." Wolfe sent a glance around at them, from one to the other, including the two men. "What am I supposed to do, obliterate Mrs. Hawthorne?" ( "No." June spoke with finality. "You can't do anything with her. You'll have to attack it from the other end. The woman, Naomi Karn. Get her FR1;WHERE THERE^S A WILL 19 to give up most of it--at least half of it. If you do that, we'll do the rest. For some unknown reason Daisy really wants the money, though the Lord knows what she thinks she's going to do with it. You may find it difficult, but surely not impossible. You can tell Miss Karn that if she doesn't relinquish at least half of it she'll have a fight on her hands, and she may lose considerably more than half." "Anyone can tell her that, madam." "wolfe turned to the lawyer. "How does it stand legally? Would Mrs. Hawthorne have a case?" "Well." Prescott screwed up his lips. "She would have a case, of course. To begin with, under the common law--" "No, please. Don't brief it. In a word, could Mrs. Hawthorne break the will?" "I don't know. I think she might. In view of the way the will is worded, the law leaves it open to the facts." Prescott was looking uncomfortable again. "You must appreciate that I am in an anomalous position. Dangerously close to an unethical position. I myself drew the will for Mr. Hawthorne, having been instructed by him to make it as contest-proof as possible. I cannot be expected to suggest ways and means of attack on my own document; rather is it my duty to defend it. On the other hand, as a friend of all the members of the 20 WHERE THERE'S A WILL Hawthorne family--not as an attorney--and I may say, also of Mr. Dunn, who holds a position of national eminence--I realize the incalculable harm that would result from a public trial of the issue. It is extremely desirable to avoid it if possible, and in view of the attitude Mrs. Hawthorne has unfortunately adopted--" Prescott stopped, and screwed up his lips again. He went on, "I'll tell you. Frankly and confidentially--and it is highly unethical for me to say this ^--I regard that will as an outrage. I told Noel Hawthorne so at the time it was drawn, but when he insisted, all I could do was obey his instructions. Entirely aside from its unfairness to Mrs. Hawthorne, I was aware that he had told his sister he would leave a million dollars to the Varney College Science Fund, and he was making it only ten per cent of that amount. That was worse than unfair, it came close to improbity, and I told him so. Without effect. My opinion was, and still is, that under the influence of Miss Karn he had lost his balance." "I still don't believe it." It was May again, and she was continuing to do without sweetness. "I still believe that if Noel had decided not to do what he had said he would do, he would have told me so." **My dear Miss Hawthorne." Prescott turned to FR1;WHERE THERE'S A WILL 21 her with his lips compressed in exasperation. "Last evening I was willing to overlook your remarks because I knew you were under the stress of a great and unexpected disappointment." There was a tremble of indignation in his voice. "But that you should dare to insinuate, here in the presence of others, that the terms of Noel's will are not in accordance with his precise instructions--my God, the man could read, couldn't he--" "Nonsense," May interrupted cuttingly. "I was merely expressing incredulity. I would as soon attack the laws of thermodynamics as your integrity. Maybe you were both hypnotized." Suddenly and flashingly she smiled at him, and swore plaintively. "Damn it. All of this is intolerably painful. I would be for letting it go, without a word, if it weren't that Daisy's ghoulish stubbornness makes it imperative to do something. As it is, I insist that in the settlement with Miss Karn there shall be an arrangement to increase the legacy to the science fund to the figure my brother intended at the time he discussed it with me." "Ah," Wolfe murmured. Prescott, his lips still in a tight line, nodded at him as if to say, "Just so. Ah." June snapped at her sister, "You're only making ^ more difficult, May, and perhaps impossible. Any22 WHERE THERE'S A WILL how, you're bluffing. I know you. You wouldn't dream of stirring up this nasty mess. If Mr. Wolfe can talk that woman into it, all right; I'm perfectly willing your fund should get the million, but the main point is Daisy and you know it. We agreed on that--'* She stopped because the door from the hall opened. Fritz, entering, approached Wolfe's desk and extended his hand with the card tray. Wolfe took the card, glanced at it, and placed it neatly under a paperweight. Then he looked at Mrs. Dunn and addressed her: "This card says Mrs. Noel Hawthorne." They all stared. "Oh, my God!" April blurted. May said quietly, "We should have tied her up." June arose fror her chair and demanded, "Where is she? I'll sc her." "Please." Wolfe pushed air down with his pain "She is calling on me. I'll see her myself--" "But this is ridiculous." June stayed on her feet "She gave us until Monday. She promised to do nothing until then. I left my son and daughter with her to make sure--" "You left them with her where?" "At my brother's home. Her home. We all spent the night there--not her home either, that's one reason she's acting the way she is, as a part of the WHERE THERE*S A WILL 23 residuary estate it will go to that woman and not to her�but she promised to do nothing�" "Please sit down, Mrs. Dunn. I'd have to see her anyway, before I could accept this job. Bring Mrs. Hawthorne in, Fritz." "There are two ladies and a gentleman with her, sir." "Bring them all in." CHAPTER TWO four people, not counting Fritz, acting as usher, entered the office. Fritz had to bring a couple of chairs from the front room. I like to look at faces. In a good many cases, I admit, a glance will do me, but usually they have points, of one kind or another, that will stand more of an eye. Andrew Dunn looked like a nice husky kid, with a strong resemblance to pictures I had seen of his father. His sister Sara had her mother's dark eyes of a fighting bird and the Hawthorne forehead, but her mouth and chin was something new. The other girl was a blonde in the bud who would have convinced any impartial Jury that all of this great country's anatomical scenery had not been monopolized by Hollywood. Later information disclosed that her name was Celia Fleet and that she was April Hawthorne's secretary. But though I like to look at faces, and those three were worthy of attention, the one that drew my gaze was the one I couldn't see. The story had it that Noel Hawthorne's arrow which had accidentally struck his beautiful wife had plowed diagonally across from the brow to the chin, and what was left was there behind that veil--with, it was 24 WHERE THERE^S A WILL 25 said, one eye working--and that was what I looked at. You couldn't help it. The gray veil was fastened to her hat and extended below her chin, and was harnessed with a strip of ribbon. No skin was in sight except her ears. She was medium-sized, with what would ordinarily be called a nice youthful figure, only with the veil and knowing why it was there, you didn't have the feeling of anything being nice. I sat and stared at it, trying to ignore an inclination to offer somebody a ten-spot to pull the veil up, knowing that if it was done I'd probably offer another ten-spot to get it pulled down again. She didn't take the chair I placed for her. She stood there stiff. I had the feeling she couldn't see, but she obviously could. After the greetings, and when I was back in my chair again, I noticed that April's fingers were unsteady as she fumbled for a cigarette. May was looking sweet again, but she was tense. So was June's voice; "My dear Daisy, this was unnecessary! We were completely candid with you! "We told you we were going to consult Mr. Nero "Wolfe. You gave us till Monday. There was no reason whatever why you should have any suspicion--Sara, you little devil, what on earth are you doing? Put that away!" "In a second. Mom.'* Sara's tone was urgent. "Everybody sit tight." A dazzling flash blinded us. There were ejacu- FR1;26 WHERE THERE'S A WILL lations, the loudest and least gentle from Prescott. I, having bounded up from my chair, stood feeling foolish. Sara said composedly, "I wanted one of Nero "wolfe sitting at his desk. Excuse it please. Hand me that dingus, Andy." "Go chase a snail. You darned little fool." "Sara! Sit down!" "Okay, Mom. That's all." "We stopped blinking. I was back in my chair. Wolfe inquired dryly, "Is your daughter a professional photographer, Mrs. Dunn?" j "No. She's a professional fiend. It's this damnable saga of the illustrious Hawthorne girls. She wants to carry it on. She thinks she can--" "That isn't so! I only wanted a shot--" "Please!" Wolfe scowled across. Sara grinned at him. He slanted his gaze upward at the veil. "Won't you sit down, Mrs. Hawthorne?" "I think not, thank you." Her voice gave me the creeps and made me want to pull the veil off myself. It was pitched high, with a strain in it that gave me the impression it wasn't coming from a mouth. She turned the veil on June: "So you think my coming was unnecessary? That's very funny. Didn't you leave Andrew and Sara and April's secretary to guard me so I wouldn't interfere with you?" FR1;WHERE THERE'S A WILL 27 "No," June declared, "we didn't. For God's sake, Daisy, be reasonable. We only wanted--" "I have no desire to be reasonable. I'm not an imbecile, June. It was my face Noel ruined, not my mind." She whirled, suddenly and unexpectedly, to the youngest sister. "By the way, April, speaking of faces, your secretary is much betterlooking than you are. Of course she's only half your age. How brave of you." April kept her eyes down and said nothing. "You can never bear to look at me, can you?" From behind the veil came a terrible little laugh, and then it turned again to June. "I didn't come here to interfere. I came because I'm suspicious, and I have cause to be. You are Hawthornes--the notorious Hawthornes. Your brother was a Hawthorne. He assured me many times that I would be generously cared for. His word, generous. I knew he had that woman, he told me so--he was candid too, like you. He gave me, monthly, more money than I needed, more than I could use, to deceive roe, to stop my suspicions. And now even my house is not mine!" "My Lord, don't I know it?" June raised a hand and let it fall. "My dear Daisy, don't I know it? Can't you believe that our one desire, our one purpose---"

"No, I can't. I don't believe a word a Hawthorne FR1;28 WHERE THERE'S A WILL says." The breath of the bitter words was fluttering the veil, but the silk harness held it in place. "Nor you, Glenn Prescott. I don't trust you. Not one of you. I didn't even believe you were coming to see this Nero Wolfe, but I find you did." She turned to confront Wolfe. "I know about you. I know a man you did something for--I used to know him. I telephoned him today to ask about you. He said you may be relied upon completely in trust, but that as an opponent you are ruthless and dangerous. He said if I asked you pointblank whether you are on my side or not, you wouldn't lie. I came here to ask you." "Sit down, Mrs. Hawthorne." "No. I only came to ask you that." ,,.,,,:"Then I'll answer it." "wolfe was brusque. "I'm not on anybody's side. Not yet. I have a violent distaste for quarrels over a dead man's property However, I am at the moment badly in need of money. I need a Job. If I accept this one, I undertake to persuade Miss Naomi Karn to relinquish a large share, as large a share as possible, of Mr. Noel Hawthorne's legacy to her, in your favor. That's what these people have asked me to do. Do you want that done?" "Yes. But as my right, not as largess from her. I would prefer to compel--" "You would prefer to fight for it. But there's WHERE THERE^S A WILL 29 the possibility you would lose, and besides, if persuasion doesn't get satisfactory results, you can still fight. You came to see me because you don't trust these people. Is that right?" "Yes. My husband was their brother. Glenn Prescott was his lawyer and friend. They have tried to cheat and defraud me." , ! --''. -' -.f "And you suspect that they came to get my assistance in further chicanery?" "Yes." "Well, let's dispose of that. I wish you'd sit down." Wolfe turned to me. "Archie, take this down and type it. One carbon. t! hereby affirm that in any negotiations I may undertake regarding the will of Noel Hawthorne, deceased, I shall consider Mrs. Noel Hawthorne as one of my clients and shall in good faith safeguard her interests, and shall notify her in advance of any change in my commitments, semi-colon, it being understood that a bill for her share of my fee shall be paid by her. A line for a witness.' " I swiveled and got the machine up and rattled it off, and handed the original to Wolfe. He read it and signed it and handed it back, and I signed as witness. Then I folded it and put it in an envelope and offered it to Daisy Hawthorne. The hand that took it was dead-white, with veins showing on the back, and long thin fingers. FR1;30 WHERE THERE'S A WILL Wolfe asked her politely, "Will that do, madam?" She didn't answer. She took the sheet from the envelope, unfolded it, and read it with her head turned to one side, using, apparently, the left eye only from behind the veil. Then she stuffed it in her bag, turned, and started for the door. I got up and went to open it, but young Dunn was ahead of me, and anyway we were both premature. She altered her course abruptly, and was confronting April Hawthorne, close enough to touch her; but when she lifted her hand it was to take hold of the bottom edge of the veil. "Look, April!" she demanded. "I wouldn't care to have the others see--but just for you--as a favor, you know, in memory of Leo--" "Don't!" April screamed. "Don't let her!" There was commotion. Most of them were out of their chairs. The one who got there first was Celia Fleet, living up to her name. I didn't know a blonde's eyes could blaze the way hers did as she i faced the veil. "You do that again," she said furiously, "and I'll pull that thing off of you! I swear I will! Try it!" A masculine voice horned in. "Get away frofn here! Get out!" It was Mr. Stauffer, the chap who kept his face arranged. It was now fierce with indignation, as he shouldered Celia Fleet aside to stand FR1;WHERE THERE'S A WILL 31 protectively in front of April, who had shrunk back in her seat and covered her face with her hands. The same terrible little laugh came from behind the veil, then Noel Hawthorne's widow turned and started again for the door. But again, halfway there, she halted to speak, this time to Mrs. Dunn. "Don't send the brats to guard me, June. I'll keep my word. I'll give you till Monday." Then she went. Fritz was there in the hall, looking concerned on account of the scream he had heard, and I was glad to leave it to him to escort her out the front door. That damn veil got on my nerves. As I rejoined the scene, April's shoulders were having spasms and Mr. Stauffer was patting one of them and Celia Fleet the other. May and June were quietly observing the operation. Prescott was mopping his face with his handkerchief. I asked if I should get some brandy or something. "No, thank you." May smiled at me. "My sister is always teetering on the edge of things, more or less. I doubt if she could be a good actress if she weren't. It seems that artists have to. It used to be attributed to the flames of genius, but now they say it's glands." April's face, pale with revulsion, came into view and she blurted, "Stop it!" "Yes," June put in, "I don't think that's neces^ry. May." She looked at Wolfe. "I imagine you'll FR1;32 WHERE THERE'S A WILL agree I was correct when I said our sister-in-law is implacable." / ' - "' --' / 7 ^ Wolfe nodded. "I do. Badly as I need money, I wouldn't attempt to persuade her to relinquish anything. Speaking of money, I have an exaggerated opinion of the value of my services." "I know you have. Your bill, if it is short of outrageous, will be paid." "Good--Archie, your notebook--Now. You want a signed agreement with Miss Karn. Half of the residuary estate, more if possible, to Mrs. Hawthorne. In addition to the half million she gets?" "I don't know--whatever you can." "And nine hundred thousand to the Varney College Science Fund?" "Yes," May said positively. "If you can get it, of course," said June. "Don't let my sister give you the idea that she'll smash the settlement if that isn't in it. She's bluffing." May said quietly, "You've been wrong about me before, June." "Maybe I have, but not now. Let's jump that fence when we get to it, Mr. Wblfe." "Very well. If we can get it, we will. What about you and your sisters? What do you want for yourselves?"

"Nothing. We have our fruit." � WHERE THERE'S A WILL 33 "Indeed." Wolfe looked at May. "Is that correct, Miss Hawthorne?" "Certainly. I want nothing for myself." Wolfe looked at the youngest. "And you?" "What?" asked April vaguely. "I am asking, do you demand a share of your brother's estate?" "Good heavens, no." "Not that we couldn't use it," said June. "April lives at least a year ahead of her income and is in debt to her ears. May washes her own stockings. She never has anything because she gives half her salary to Varney girls who would have to leave college if she didn't. As for me, I have trouble paying the grocery bills. My husband had a good income from his private practice, but the salary of a secretary of state is pretty skimpy." "Then I think we should be able to persuade Miss Karn�" "No. Don't try it. If my brother had left us something we could certainly have used it�and I suppose we're all surprised that he didn't. But no �no haggling for it. From him direct, yes, but not by way of that woman." "If I get it, will you take it?" "Don't try. Don't tempt us. You know how it is. You're in need of money yourself." FR1;34 WHERE THERE'S A WILL "We'll see. What about your children?" "They get a hundred thousand apiece." "Is that satisfactory?" "Of course. My Lord, they're rich." "Is anything else wanted from Miss Karn for anyone at all?" "No." Wolfe looked at the lawyer. "What about it, Mr. Prescott? Have you any comments?" Prescott shook his head. "None. I'm happy to stay as well out of it as I can. I drew the will." "So you did." Wolfe frowned at him, then transferred the frown to June. "So much for that. We'll get all we can. Now what about Miss Karn?" "What about her?" "Who is she, what is she, where is she?" "I don't know much about her." June turned to the lawyer. "You tell him, Glenn." "Well . . ." Prescott rubbed his nose. "She's a young woman, a year or two short of thirty I should say--" "Wait a minute!" The interruption came from Sara Dunn, the professional fiend, as she glided up to Wolfe's desk with something in her hand. "Here, Mr. Wolfe, look at this. I brought it along because I thought it might be needed. That's her laughing, and the man with her is Uncle Noel. You can borrow it if you want to, but I'll want it back." FR1;WHERE THERE'S A WILL 35 "Where in the name of heaven," Mrs. Dunn demanded, "did you get that thing?" "Oh, I took it one day last spring when I happened to see Uncle in front of Hartlespoon's, and I knew who it must be with him. They didn't see me snap it. It's a good shot, so I had it enlarged." "You--you knew--" June was sputtering. "How did you know about that woman?" "Don't be a goof. Mom," said Sara sympathetically. "I wasn't born deaf, and I'm past twentyone. You were just my age when you wrote Affairs of a Titmouse." "Thank you very much. Miss Dunn." Wolfe put the picture under a paperweight on top of Daisy Hawthorne's card. "I'll remember to return it." He turned to the lawyer. "About Miss Karn? You know her, do you?" "Not very well," said Prescott. "That is--I've known her, in a way, for about six years. She was a stenographer in our office--my firm." "Indeed. Your personal stenographer?" "Oh, no. We have thirty or more of them--it's a large office. She was just one of them for a couple of years, and then she became the secretary of the junior partner, Mr. Davis. It was in Mr. Davis's office that Mr. Hawthorne first met her. Not long after that--" Prescott stopped, and looked uncomfortable. "But that's of no present significance. I FR1;36 WHERE THERE'S A WILL 1, wished to explain how I happened to know her. She ' left our employ about three years ago--uh--apparently at the suggestion of Mr. Hawthorne--" "Apparently?" "Well--" Prescott shrugged. "Admittedly, then. Since he himself made no attempt to be secretive about it, there is no call for caution from me." "The Hawthornes," said May sweetly, "are much too egotistic to be sneaks. *How we apples swim.' " ^ "Obviously he wasn't sneaking," Wolfe agreed, glancing at the picture under the paperweight, "when he paraded with her on Fifth Avenue." "I think I should warn you," Prescott said, "that your task will be a difficult one." "I expect it to be. To persuade anybody to turn loose of four million dollars." "I know, but I mean exceptionally difficult." Prescott shook his head doubtfully. "God knows I wish you luck, but from what I know of Miss Karn . . . it'll be a job. Ask Stauffer, he'll tell you what he thinks of it. That's why we asked him to come down here with us.'* "Stauffer?" A voice came from the left: "I'm Osric Stauffer."

Wolfe looked at the good-looking face that was living up to something. "Oh. Are you . . ." He trailed it off. WHERE THERE^S A WILL 37 The face looked faintly annoyed. "Osric Stauffer of Daniel Cullen and Company. The foreign department was under the direction of Mr. Hawthorne and I was next to him. Also I was fairly intimate with him." So it was Daniel Cullen and Company he was living up to. Judging from the way he had been hovering in the neighborhood of April Hawthorne, I had guessed wrong entirely; I had thought he was dignifying a passion. "wolfe inquired, "You know Miss Karn, do you?" "I have met her, yes." Stauffer's voice was clipped and precise. "What Mr. Prescott was referring to, I went to see her this morning about this will business. I was requested to go by him and Mrs. Dunn --and in a way, unofficially, as a representative of my firm. A will contest--this sort of thing--would be highly undesirable in the case of a Cullen partner." "So you saw Miss Karn this morning?" "Yes." "What happened?" "Nothing. I made no headway at all. Naturally, in my position, I have been entrusted with some difficult and delicate negotiations, and I've dealt with some tough customers, but I've never struck anything tougher than Miss Karn. Her position was ^at it would be improper, and even indecent, to 38 WHERE THERE'S A WILL interfere with the wishes of a dead man as he had himself expressed them, with regard to the disposal of his own property. Therefore she couldn't even discuss it, and she wouldn't. I told her she would have a contest to fight and might lose it all. She said she had a great respect for justice and would cheerfully accept any decision a court might make, provided there was no higher court to appeal to." "Did you offer terms?" "No, not specific terms. I didn't get that far. She was--" Stauffer seemed momentarily embarrassed how to put it. "She wasn't inclined to listen to anything about the will, the purpose of my call. She attempted to presume on our comparatively slight acquaintance." "Do you mean she tried to make love to you?" "Oh, no." Stauffer blushed, glanced involuntarily at April Hawthorne, and blushed more. "No, not that, not at all. I mean merely that she acted as if my visit were--just a friendly visit. She is an extremely clever woman." "And you think she wasn't scared by the threat of a contest?" "I'm positive she wasn't. I never saw anyone less scared." Wolfe grunted. He turned to June with a frown. "What's the point," he demanded, "of asking me FR1;FR2;WHERE THERE^S A WILL 39 to bring your game down with ammunition that's already been fired?" "That is the point," June asserted. "That's why we came to you. If a simple threat would do it, it would have been simple. I know it's a hard job. That's why we'll gladly pay the fee you'll charge, if you succeed." "It is also," May put in, "why something my sister said to you at the beginning was untrue. She said we didn't need a detective, but we do. You will have to find a way to bring pressure on Miss Karn much more compelling than threat of a court contest of the will." "I see." Wolfe grimaced. "No wonder I don't like fights about dead men's property. They're always ugly fights." "This one isn't," June declared. "It will be if Daisy and that woman get it into a court, but our part of it isn't. What's ugly about our trying to avoid a stinking scandal by persuading that woman that three or four million dollars of our brother's fortune is ^11 she's entitled to? If her avarice and stubbornness make the persuasion difficult and expensive . . ." "And even if it were ugly," said May quietly, "it would still have to be done. I think, Mr. Wolfe, we've told you everything you need to know. Will you do it?" FR1;40 WHERE THERE'S A WILL Wolfe looked at the clock on the wall. I felt sorry for him. He didn't like the job� but he had to take it. Moreover, he permitted nothing whatever to interfere with his custom of spending four hours a day in the plant rooms on the roof--from nine to eleven in the morning and from four to six in the afternoon--and the clock said five minutes to four. He looked at me, gave me a scowl for my grin, and glanced up at the clock again. He rose from his chair as abruptly as his bulk would permit. "I'll do it," he announced gruffly. "And now, if you don't mind, I have an appointment for four o'clock--" "I know!" Sara Dunn exclaimed. "You're going up to the orchids. I'd love to see them--" "Some other time. Miss Dunn. I'm in no mood for it. Shall I report to you, Mrs. Dunn? Or Mr. Prescott?" "Either. Or both." June was out of her chair. "Both, then. Get names and addresses, Archie." I did so. Prescott's office and home, the Hawthorne house on 67th Street, where they all were temporarily, and, not least important, Naomi Karn's apartment on Park Avenue. They straggled into the hall, and I left the front to Fritz. Stauffer, I noticed, was solicitous at April Hawthorne's elbow. May was the last one out of the office, having WHERE THERE^S A WILL 41 lingered for a word with Wolfe which I didn't catch. I heard the front door close, and Fritz glanced in on his way back to the kitchen. "Pfui!" said Wolfe. "And wowie," I agreed. "But at that they're not vultures. I'm going to marry April. Then after a bit I'll divorce her and marry her blond secretary-"

"That will do. Confound it, anyway. Well, you have two hours--" "Sure." I assumed a false cheerfulness. "Let me say it for you. I am to have Miss Karn here at six o'clock. Or a few minutes before, so as not to keep you waiting.'1 He nodded. "Say ten minutes to six.'* It was too damned hot to throw something at him. I merely made a disrespectful noise, beat it out to the sidewalk where the roadster was parked, climbed in, and was on my way. CHAPTER THREE I suppose altogether, in business and out, I've had dealings of one kind or another with more than a hundred baby dolls. I was more or less taking it for granted that my call on Naomi Karn that afternoon would add one more to the number, but I was wrong. As the maid escorted me through the large and luxurious foyer of the apartment on the twelfth floor, on Park Avenue near 74th--where I had got admitted by saying I was sent by Mr. Glenn Prescott--and ushered me into a cool dim room with cool summer covers on the furniture, and I got close enough for a good look at the woman standing by the piano bench, I saw right away that I was wrong. She smiled. I wouldn't say she smiled at me, she just smiled. "Mr. Goodwin? Sent by Mr. Prescott?" "That's right. Miss Karn." "I suppose I should have refused to see you. Only I don't like to do that--it's so stuffy." "Why should you have refused to see me?" "Because, if you were sent by Mr. Prescott, you've come to bully me. Haven't you?" "Bully you about what?" "Oh, come, now." She smiled again. 42 ; WHERE THERE'S A WILL 45 I waited a second, saw that she wasn't going to add to it, and said, "As a matter of fact, I wasn't sent by Prescott. I was sent by Nero Wolfe. He has been engaged by Noel Hawthorne's sisters to discuss Hawthorne's will with you." "Nero Wolfe, the detective?" "That's the one." "How interesting. When is he coming to see me?" "He never goes to see anybody. He dislikes motion. He passed a law making it a criminal offense for his feet to remove him from his house except on rare occasions, and never on business. He hires me to run around inviting people to come to see him." Her brows lifted. "Do you mean you came to invite me?" "That's right. There's no hurry. It's only 4:30, and he doesn't expect you until ten minutes to six." She shook her head. "I'm sorry. It would be interesting to discuss something with Nero Wolfe." "Then come ahead." "No." It sounded final. In fact, it sounded as near irrevocable as any "no" I ever heard. I looked at her. There was no indication whatever of any strain of baby doll in her that I could se^- She was close to something new in my experi- ^ce. She wasn't homely and she wasn't pretty. She .J�te FR1;44 WHERE THERE'S A WILL was dark rather than light, but she wouldn't have been listed as brunette. None of her features would have classified for star billing, but somehow you didn't see her features, you just saw her. As a matter of fact, after exchanging only a couple of sentences with her, I was sore. During nine years of detective work I had polished up my brass so that I regarded a rude stare at any human face nature's fancy could devise merely as a matter of routine, but there was something in Naomi Karn's eyes, or back of them, or somewhere, that made me want to meet them and shy away from them at the same time. It wasn't the good old come-hither, the "welcome" on the door mat that biology uses for tan- glefoot; I can slide through that like molasses through a tin horn. It was something as feminine as that, it was a woman letting a man have her eyes, but it was also a good deal more--like a cocky challenge from a cocky brain. I knew I had looked away from it, and I knew she knew I had, and I was sore. "The truth is," I said, "this thing has been handled incompetently. I understand that fellow Stauffer came to see you this morning and said if you ^didn't diwy_up^ Hawthorne's widow was going to contest it." She smiled. "Yes, Ossie tried to say something like that." FR1;WHERE THERE'S A WILL 45 "Ossie? Good name for him." "I think so. I'm glad you like it." "I do. But Ossie was deceiving you. The real point of the thing is much sharper than a court contest and it's apt to hurt more." "Dear me. That's alarming. What is it?" I shook my head. "I'm not supposed to tell you. But this room is the coolest place I've been in today. I could give you a piece of marvelous advice if I felt like it. What are those things with four legs, chairs?" A breath of a laugh came out of her. "Do sit down, Mr.--------" "Goodwin. Archie." "Do sit down." She moved. It would have been ^ a pleasure to watch her move if I hadn't been sore at her. She wasn't as graceful or overwhelming as April Hawthorne, but her motion was just as easy, and more straightforward, without any tricks. She was pushing a button. "What kind of a drink would you like?" "I could use a glass of milk, thank you." I selected a chair two paces away from the one she was taking. The maid entered, and was instructed to bring a glass of milk and a bottle of Borrand water. Miss Karn refused the cigarette I offered. When I had mine lit she remarked: "You have alarmed me, you know. Terribly." 46 WHERE THERE'S A WILL She sounded amused. "Will the milk make you feel like surrendering the advice?" "I feel like it already." I met her eyes and went on meeting them. "I advise you not to see Nero .Wolfe. I'm being disloyal, of course, but I'm naturally treacherous anyhow, and besides, I don't like the way they're ganging up on you. I felt that way already, even before I saw you? but now ..." I waved a hand. "Now treachery is sweet." "It could be." "That's very nice of you. Why do you advise me not to see Nero Wolfe?" "Because I know the kind of trap he's setting. What you should do is get a lawyer, a good one, and let Wolfe deal with him." She made a face. "I don't like lawyers. I know too much about them--I worked for a law firm for three years." "You'll have to hire a lawyer if there's a contest."

"I suppose I will. But you said I am threatened by something more dangerous than a contest. That trap Nero Wolfe is setting. What's that like?" I grinned at her and shook my head. The maid came with the liquids, and after Miss Karn's Borrand water was poured and iced I took a sip of roy milk. It was a little too cold, and I wrapped the r WHERE THERE'S A WILL 47 t glass with my palms, grinned again, and said, "It certainly is nice and cool here. I'm enjoying myself. Are you?" "No," she said, with a sudden and surprising sharpness in her tone, "I am not enjoying myself. A good friend of mine has died--just three days ago. Mr. Noel Hawthorne. Another man whom I regarded as my frSnd to a certain extent--at least not an enemy--is acting abominably. Mr. Glenn Prescott. He came here last evening and informed me of the terms of the will with a manner and tone that were inexcusable. Now he is openly conspiring with Mr. Hawthorne's family against me. He sent that Stauffer here to threaten me. He sent you here with your childish babble about traps and treachery. Bah! Is your milk all right?" "Yes. Excuse me, but like hell you're not enjoying yourself. Shall we discuss it seriously?'* "I have no desire to discuss it at all. The one sensible thing you've said was that it has been handled incompetently. To send Ossie here to threaten me! I can make him stammer by looking at him! Incidentally, I can't do that with you." - ' "No, but you came close to it." I grinned at her. "Also you have an idea that another twenty minutes will do the trick; that's why you invited me to sit down. You may be right, but I can assure you I'm no Ossie. The fact is, I'm just killing time. FR1;48 WHERE THERE'S A WILL My boss asked me to bring you to his house, down on 3 5th Street, at ten to six, but I'd prefer not to get you there until ten after. He needs a lesson about what to expect and what not to expect." I glanced at my wrist. "We ought to be leaving fairly soon, at that. I had to park over east of Third Avenue."

"I told you, Mr. Goodwin, that I'm not enjoying myself. I see you have finished your milk." "No more, thank you. So you don't intend to come?" "Certainly not." "What are you going to do, just refuse to say boo till you're served with a summons and complaint?"

"I'm not refusing to say boo." Her voice got sharp again. "I tell you, what I resent is the way they've gone about it. I know that nothing rational could be expected of Mrs. Hawthorne, but couldn't Mrs. Dunn have come to see me, or asked me to come to see her, and talk it over? Couldn't she have said simply that they regarded it as unjust and asked me to consider an adjustment? Couldn't she have condescended to say that she and her sisters felt they had a natural right to some share in their brother's estate?" "But they didn't. That wasn't it. It's Daisy that's raising hell." WHERE THERE'S A WILL 49 "I don't believe it. I think Glenn Prescott started it, and they helped him prevail upon Mrs. Hawthorne. They think the way to do it is to browbeat me. First they sent that Stauffer here, and then they hired a detective, Nero Wolfe, whose specialty is catching murderers. You might think I was a murderer myself. It won't work. They may be perfectly correct in thinking they should have a slice of Noel's--Mr. Hawthorne's wealth, but if they get it now it will be because a court awards it to them." "Okay," I agreed. "I'm with you. Absolutely. They're a bunch of wolverines, Prescott is a twofaced shyster, and Stauffer is Ossie. But may I ask you a hypothetical question?" "It would take more than a hypothetical question to make me budge, Mr. Goodwin." ? -_----s-- "I'll ask it anyway. It'll be good exercise for us and pass the time. Let's say, of course just as a hypothesis, that Nero Wolfe is ruthless, unscrupulous, and quite cunning; that you get him sore by refusing even to go and discuss it with him; that he's out to do you; that he gets the bright idea of basing the attack on the will, not on the ground that it's unfair, but on the ground that it's phony; that he is able--" "^ ^. >--/-

"Your opinion of him seems to be going up." "My opinion of him is unimportant. But another thing, if he intended to play as dirty a trick as that, he could simply have not produced it. He could have destroyed it." "He had no such intention. The hypothesis is that Wolfe gets the idea and sells it to them. Didn't I say it was hypothetical?" "Yes. You said so." Her eyes got narrower. "Is WHERE THERE'S A WILL 51 it? Or is this what Nero "Wolfe has got ready for me?" I lifted the shoulders. "You'll have to ask him, Miss Karn. All I know is this, he wants you to come and discuss it with him. He has engaged to try to persuade you to agree to some sort of a settlement. I've never known anybody to make bingo by refusing to talk with Wolfe when he wants to talk." She looked through me for another ten seconds, and then abruptly got up without bothering to excuse herself, and left the room. I arose too and strolled over to the archway and stood there with an ear cocked, thinking I might hear some telephoning or something, but the apartment was too big or too soundproofed, and I drew a blank. Fifteen minutes passed, and I had about decided on a tour of exploration, when the sound of footsteps came, and I got back to the middle of the room by the time she entered. She had changed to a blue linen thing, with a flowing wrap of the same, and had on a kind of a hat. She announced, merely imparting information: "I'm not going because I'm scared. Not that that matters to you. Your job was to get me there. Come on." There was no question but that she got the gist of things with a minimum of effort and time. FR1;52 WHERE THERE'S A WILL Down on the sidewalk I discovered that she was nice to walk with. At that juncture of affairs she had about as much use for me as a robin has for a black snake, but since we were walking together she let it be a partnership instead of a game of tag. Most girls, walking along a busy sidewalk with you, are either clingers, divers, or laggers, and I don't know which is worst. There was no conversation, even after we got to the roadster and climbed in and nosed it into the traffic. That suited me. The gambit I had used to pry her loose had been impromptu. It wasn't going to get me any medal from the boss, and I had to figure out a way of conveying to him its purely hypothetical nature in a diplomatic manner. Not that he would object to being portrayed as ruthless, unscrupulous and cunning, but he certainly wouldn't be enthusiastic about my giving her the impression that he was a boob. The thing to do was to deposit her in the front room and have a few words alone with him before introducing her. It would have been better to have the few words up in the plant rooms, but that was out because it was 6:15' when we arrived and he would already be back down in the office, waiting for us. My scheme didn't pan out. Three cars parked at the curb warned me to expect competition. I opened the door with my key and ushered her into FR1;WHERE THERE^S A WILL 53 the hall, and there was Fritz Brenner approaching to head us off. "Company?" I asked him. He nodded. "The ladies and gentlemen who were here this afternoon. They have returned. They arrived at three minutes to six." "You don't say." I addressed Miss Karn: "This is unexpected and unfortunate. I guess you'll have to wait a few minutes." I moved toward the door to the front room. "In here it won't be as cool as up at your place--" She was moving too, and so swiftly that I couldn't head her off. I suppose I should have been on my guard, but how could I have known she would make a beeline for the office door, spotting it by instinct, and bust on through? I bounced after her, but by the time I reached the threshold she was already inside and in the middle of them. I put on the brakes and let it come. They were all there, the whole gang except the widow with the veil. The Hawthorne girls were merely regarding the intruder with surprise, but there was a little squeal from Sara Dunn and a pair of startled exclamations from Osric Stauffer and Glenn Prescott. The intruder, paying no attention to any of that, advanced clear to the desk, faced Wolfe, and said calmly: FR1;54 WHERE THERE'S A WILL "You're Nero Wolfe? I'm Naomi Karn. I'm told you want to discuss something with me." June muttered, "Good Lord." May craned her neck for a better look. April laughed out loud and said energetically, "Curtain. Absolutely curtain." Wolfe had his lips pursed. Before he got them open for words, Miss Karn whirled to Glenn Pres- cott: "Is it true that you're in a plot to have that will declared a forgery? Answer me!" The lawyer gaped at her. "What's that?" he sputtered. "A plot to--a forgery--what the devil--" "I insist it was a curtain," April declared. Her sisters were saying something too, and Stauffer was shushing her, and Prescott and Miss Karn were making it a free-for-all, with nothing emerging for the record, until White's voice came out on top: "That will do! Ladies and gentlemen! My office is not a barnyard!" He gave me a withering glance. "Confound you, Archie!" He switched to the lawyer. "Mr. Prescott, I beg your pardon for having in my employ a young man whose soaring imagination alights on such cliches as sinister plots and forged wills --As for you, Miss Karn, I presume you think you are being audacious and intrepid--"

FR1;WHERE THERE^S A WILL 55 "Positively Penthesilean," May inserted. Wolfe ignored it. "Taking the bull by the horns. Pfui! It should be possible to adhere to the code of ordinary decent manners even when fighting for a fortune. It should also be possible for a young woman with eyes as intelligent as yours to avoid being hoodwinked by Mr. Goodwin's elephantine capers. It may be, I admit, that you were disconcerted because, coming here expecting a private interview with me, you found these people here. That was not my fault, nor theirs. They did not know you were coming, nor did I know they were. They came, unannounced, to tell me that Mrs. Noel Hawthorne, immediately after leaving my office this afternoon, proceeded to engage a lawyer, and that he has already made formal application to Mr. Prescott for a copy of the will. As you see, you're not the only one--Yes, Fritz?" Fritz had entered in his grand manner, but an unexpected bump in his right rear cramped his style. My eyes widened as I saw who it was that had accidentally bumped him, brushing past--our old friend Inspector Cramer of the homicide squad. At his heels was that pillar of pessimism, District Attorney Skinner, and in the rear was a bony little runt with a mustache, carrying last year's straw hat. Fritz, bumped, seeing there was nothing left FR1;56 WHERE THERE'S A WILL for him to announce, stepped aside and tried not to glare with indignation. "Wolfe's voice sang out, "How-do-you-do, gentlemen! As you see, I'm busy. If you will kindly--" "That's all right, Mr. Wolfe." Skinner, his deep bass croaking, pushed in front of Cramer. He glanced around at the faces. "Mrs. John Charles Dunn? I'm District Attorney Skinner. Miss May Hawthorne? Miss April Hawthorne? I have some-- uh--unpleasant news for you." He sounded apologetic. "It was necessary to find you at once--" "Permit me, sir," Wolfe snapped at him. "This is intolerable! We are conferring on a private matter--"

"I'm sorry," said Skinner. "Believe me, I am sorry. Our business is extremely urgent, or we wouldn't come barging in like this. "We wish to make some inquiries regarding the death of Mr. Noel Hawthorne last Tuesday afternoon. At your place in the country up near Nyack, wasn't it, Mrs. Dunn?" "Yes." June's dark eyes were piercing him. "What do you--why do you wish to inquire about it?" "Because that is our unpleasant duty." Skinner met her gaze. "Because we are confronted by evidence that your brother's death was not accidental. Evidence, in fact, that he was murdered." WHERE THERE'S A WILL 57 There was dead silence. Good and dead. Skinner and Cramer were taking in faces, and I took them in too. I was close enough to April so that when her lips moved I caught the whispered breath of the two syllables, "Curtain," but her pallor and her staring eyes told me that she wasn't aware she had breathed at all. CHAPTER FOUR wolfe heaved a deep sigh. Prescott got to his feet, opened his mouth, shut it again, and sat down. Osric Stauffer emitted a sound suggestive of shocked and indignant disbelief, which went unnoticed. June, her eyes still piercing Skinner, said, "That's impossible." Her voice went a little higher: "Quite impossible!" "I wish it were, Mrs. Dunn," he declared. "I sincerely do. No one realizes better than I do what this will mean to all of you--your husband and your sisters--all the regrettable aspects of it--and it was with the greatest reluctance--almost unconquerable reluctance--" "That's a lie." The voice came from May Hawthorne, but it was a new one. It snapped like a whip. "Let's take this as it is, Mr. Skinner. Don't snivel about reluctance. "We know the smell of politics. This means it has been decided that you can use my brother's death to finish off my brother-inlaw. Perhaps you can. Go ahead and try, but spare us the cant." Skinner, looking at her and letting her finish, said with composure, "You're wrong. Miss Hawthorne. I assure you it was with deep and genuine reluctance--" 58 WHERE THERE'S A WILL 59 "Do you deny that for the past two months your crowd has been spreading calumny regarding my brother-in-law and his relations with my brother?" "Yes, I do deny it. I belong to no crowd, unless you mean my political party. I have heard gossip, a good many people have�" "Do you deny�" "Don't, May," commanded June, taking over. "What's the use?" Her eyes darted to Skinner again. "You stated that you have evidence that my brother was murdered. What is the evidence?" "I'll tell you that shortly, Mrs. Dunn. Before it can be known exactly what the evidence means it will be necessary to ask for a little information from you. That's why�" "May I ask a question?" came from Glenn Prescott. "Certainly." Skinner nodded at his professional brother. "I'm glad you're here, Prescott. Not that I propose to give Mrs. Dunn any reason to consult an attorney, but I'm glad you're here, anyway." "So am I," said Prescott succinctly. "For one thing, if there was a murder, it was in Rockland County, wasn't it?" "Yes." Skinner turned abruptly to indicate the bony undersized person with the straw hat still in his hand. "This is Mr. B. A. Regan, district attor- FR1;60 WHERE THERE'S A WILL ney of Rockland County. Mr. Regan, of course you've heard of Glenn Prescott, of Dunwoodie, Prescott & Davis." "Sure I have," Mr. Regan declared. "It's a pleasure." Prescott nodded curtly. "I see." "Mr. Regan came to consult my office. If you would prefer to have him do the talking--" "Not at all. Go ahead. But another point--not a legal one, but still a point--you say you have evidence that Noel Hawthorne was murdered at the home of John Charles Dunn, while he was a guest there, and when Mr. Dunn was present. Wouldn't it have been usual and proper to advise Mr. Dunn himself first of all? Instead of broadcasting it? Particularly in view of his eminent position? Instead of tracing Mrs. Dunn to this place and bursting in here and blurting it in her face in the presence of a throng of people?" The skin around the district attorney's mouth and eyes had tightened. He said, "I don't like your tone, Prescott." "Never mind my tone. What about my questions?"

"Nor your questions either. However, I'll answer them. I tried for an hour to communicate with Mr. Dunn. As you must know, he is in Washington appearing before a Senate committee. I WHERE THERE^S A WILL 61 couldn't get to him. Meanwhile I learned that Mrs. Dunn and her sisters had come to the office of Nero Wolfe. I have not broadcasted this thing. Nothing would please me better than not to have to broadcast it at all. I am a political opponent, a bitter opponent, of Secretary Dunn and the administration he adorns, but by God, I don't fight with stink bombs and you ought to know it, whether Miss May Hawthorne does or not. Your insinuation that I came after Mrs. Dunn because I shied at tackling Dunn himself is unwarranted and offensive. Mr. Regan came and laid evidence before me and asked my help. Before the evidence can be interpreted with certainty, information is needed from Mrs. Dunn and probably others. I request her, and others if necessary, to co-operate with me in the performance of my duty." Prescott, looking utterly unimpressed, demanded, "What's the evidence?" "I don't know. I can't know until I get the information I want. I merely need some facts. Do you think I'm going to try any dodges with you sitting here?" Skinner turned to "Wolfe. "If you'd like us to move out of your office, perhaps--" Wolfe shook his head. "Your business is more urgent than mine, sir. Archie, Fritz, more chairs." Fritz and I brought some from the front room. FR1;62 WHERE THERE'S A WILL Naomi Karn had faded into the background, over by the bookshelves, and I gave her one there. She looked, I thought, pasty. The three youngsters moved to make room, Andrew Dunn closer to his mother, the others to the rear. Inspector Cramer went to the hall and came in again, accompanied by my old pal Sergeant Purley Stebbins, who ignored my greeting as he grabbed a chair from me, planted himself on it at a corner of my desk, and got out a notebook and pencil. My toe unfortunately rubbed against his shin as I got back to my own chair. Prescott said to Nero Wolfe, "Your--" He thumbed at me. "This man takes shorthand?" "Yes. Archie, your notebook, please." I leered at Purley and got it out in time to catch Skinner's opening: "All I want, Mrs. Dunn, is some facts. I earnestly desire to make it as little painful as possible. There was a gathering of people at your country home in Rockland County last Tuesday, July llth, was there not?" "Yes." June turned to Prescott. "I want to say, Glenn, that I regard it as quite likely that May is right about this being a political ambush." "So do I." "Then should I answer this gentleman?" "Yes," said Prescott grimly. "If you refuse to it FR1;WHERE THERE^S A WILL 65 will be worse. I'm here and if he--I can stop you. We'll have a record of it." "I wish John was here. I'd like to telephone him." "I doubt if you could get him. Trust me for this, June. And don't forget your son is here. He's a lawyer too, you know. What's your advice, Andy?" The kid patted his mother on the shoulder and said in a husky voice meant to be reassuring, "Go ahead. Mom. If he tries to get slick--" "I won't," said Skinner brusquely. "What was the gathering, Mrs. Dunn?" "It was to celebrate our twenty-fifth wedding anniversary." June met his eye and spoke clearly and composedly. "That's why my brother was there. I mean by that, my husband and my brother had not been together for some time. We were all aware of the slander that was being whispered about the loan to Argentina, and they thought it best not to give it color--" "That isn't necessary, June," Prescott put in. "If I were you I'd let backgrounds alone and stick to facts." "Yes, please do," Skinner agreed. "Who was present?"

"My husband. I. Our son, Andrew. My daughter, Sara--no, Sara got there after--afterwards, with Mr. Prescott. My sister May and my sister April. My brother and his wife. Mr. Stauffer, Osric 64 WHERE THERE'S A WILL Stauffer. It was a family party, but Mr. Stauffer came to give my brother a business message and was invited to stay. That's all." "Excuse me. I was there." June turned to the voice. "Oh, so you were, Celia. I beg your pardon. Miss Celia Fleet, my sister April's secretary." "Is that all, Mrs. Dunn?" "Yes." "Servants?" "Only a man and wife, country people. She cooks and he works outdoors. It is a modest place and we live on a modest scale." "Their names, please?" "I know *em," said Mr. Regan. "Good. Now, Mrs. Dunn, let's do it this way. You know, of course, that Dr. Gyger, the medical examiner of Rockland County, and Mr. Bryant, the sheriff, were summoned there and came. They asked some questions and took notes, and I have read those notes. About 4 o'clock in the afternoon your brother took a shotgun and went to the fields to shoot crows. Is that right?" "No. He went to shoot a hawk." "But I understand he shot two crows." "Maybe he did, but he went to shoot a hawk. He discussed it with my husband, and that's what he went to do." WHERE THERE'S A WILL 65 "Very well. He did shoot two crows. The shots were heard at the house, weren't they?" "Yes." "And your brother did not return. At a quarter to six your son, Andrew, and a young woman� you, I believe, Miss Fleet�emerging from a wood, stumbled upon his body. Half his head had been blown off by the shotgun, which was lying near by. Your son remained there and Miss Fleet went to the house, the other side of the woods some four hundred yards distant, to notify Mr. Dunn. Mr. Dunn himself telephoned to New City. Sheriff Bryant, with a deputy, arrived at the scene at 6:35, and Dr. Gyger a few minutes later. They came to the conclusion that Hawthorne had tripped on a, briar�the body lay in a patch of briars�or that the gun's trigger had caught on a briar�at any rate, that the gun had been accidentally discharged." "They agreed on that, and their official reports severally so stated," Mr. Regan put in. "If it hadn't been for Lon Chambers it would have stayed that way." "Who is Lon Chambers?" Prescott inquired. Skinner told him: "The deputy sheriff." His glance shot over June's shoulder at her son. "You're Andrew Dunn, aren't you?" The young man said he was. FR1;66 WHERE THERE'S A WILL "It was you--you and Miss Fleet--who discovered Hawthorne's body?" "It was." "You decided at once that he was dead?" "Of course. It was obvious." "You stayed there and" sent Miss Fleet to the house to notify your father?" ^, , "She offered to go. She was damn brave." The Idd's eyes were truculent and contemptuous as he met the other's gaze, and also his voice. "I told all this to the sheriff and medical examiner, and, as you say, they made notes. Have you read them?" "I have. Do you object to telling me about it, Mr. Dunn?" "No. Go ahead:-' "Thank you. Before Miss Fleet departed for the house, did you touch or move either the body or the gun?" "No. She left almost at once." Skinner's eyes circled. "Did you touch either the body or the gun before you left. Miss Fleet?" Celia displayed the state of her nerves by saying much louder and more explosively than was necessary, "Of course not!" "Did you, Mr. Dunn, touch or move either the body or the gun after Miss Fleet left?" "No." "How long were you there alone?" WHERE THERE^S A WILL 67 "About fifteen minutes." "Who came?" "First my father. He had phoned New City. Stauffer was with him. Then Titus Ames, the man who works there. That was all until the sheriff arrived."

"Were you there, right there on the spot, continuously from the moment you discovered the body until the sheriff arrived?" "Yes." "With both the gun and the body in full view?" "The gun wasn't in full view, it was concealed by the briars. I hadn't seen it at all until .1 looked for it after Miss Fleet left." Andy looked scornful. "If you're trying to establish that neither the gun nor the body was touched by anyone before the sheriff arrived, I can and will testify to it. As a lawyer, I am aware of the proper procedure in cases of death by violence. I am with Dunwoodie, Prescott & Davis." "I see. A member of the firm?" "Certainly not. I was admitted to the bar only last year." "And you can testify as you have stated?" "Yes. So can my father and the others." The district attorney's eyes circled again. "Mr. Stauffer? You arrived on the scene with Mr. Dunn, Senior? Do you confirm--" FR1;68 WHERE THERE'S A WILL "Yes," said Stauffer gruffly. "Neither the body nor the gun was touched." Mr. Regan said, with, it seemed, gloom rather ,than elation, "That's sewed up." Skinner nodded. "It seems to be." He looked at Prescott, and then at June. "As you see, Mrs. Dunn, I merely wished to verify some facts. I'll tell you now the basis for my statement a while ago. The sheriff's deputy appears to be an inquisitive and skeptical man. His superiors were for closing the incident as an adventitious tragedy; he was not. Due to his pertinacity the following facts have been established: First, both the stock and barrel of the gun had been recently wiped or rubbed, not by a cloth, as is usual, but by something scratchy that left many tiny streaks, revealed plainly under a magnifying glass. Second, instead of bearing many different fingerprints of Noel Hawthorne's, as a gun should after being carried by a man for more than half an hour, maybe an hour, and fired by him twice, it bore only three sets of his prints, all of the fingers of the right hand--one set on the stock, one on the breechblock, and one on the barrel. The prints were unusual--all four fingers close together. Juxtaposed, and none anywhere of the thumb. The set on the barrel was even remarkable, being upside down--that is, not as if the barrel had been grasped in the ordinary manner, but as if FR1;WHERE THERE'S A WILL 69 it had been held for use as a club, to strike something with the butt." "This is all poppycock," declared young Dunn scornfully. Prescott said, "Let him finish, Andy." "I'll make it as brief as I can," Skinner went on, "but I wish to make it plain that this is merely the inevitable march of events under the guidance of the law. To finish with the fingerprints, they had all been made after the gun had been rubbed with something scratchy. As you doubtless know, Mrs. Dunn, the gun is the property of Titus Ames, who works for you. Ames says it has never been wiped with anything except the soft cloth he uses for that purpose, and that he wiped it with such a cloth Tuesday afternoon, when he went to get it for Mr. Hawthorne at Mr. Dunn's request." "So you've questioned Ames," Prescott observed. "I sure have," said Mr. Regan. Skinner ignored it. "But though Chambers, the deputy, established these facts, he was still unable to convince the sheriff, and the district attorney, Mr. Regan here, that there was ponderable doubt of it's having been an accident. In my opinion, that speaks well for the charitable nature of their minds and their disinclination to stir up trouble in the case of so eminent a citizen as Mr. Dunn. However, the sheriff did not forbid his deputy to make further 70 WHERE THERE'S A WILL inquiry. On Wednesday, Chambers brought the gun to New York. Thursday, yesterday, our police laboratory reported that there was blood residue, recently deposited, in analyzable quantity, in the crack between the stock and the heelplate, and traces elsewhere. Also yesterday. Chambers found something. A path goes through a corner of the woods, northeast, and at a point it branches, one branch going north to emerge at the edge of the public highway, and the other branch turning east toward your house. Under a shrub near that path, Chambers found a wisp of meadow grass that had been twisted and crushed and apparently used to rub something, and stained in the process. He and Mr. Regan brought it to New York this morning. Four hours ago the laboratory reported that the stains are a mixture of blood and the oily film of the gun, and further, that certain particles which they had previously found on the gun are bits of pollen and fiber from that bunch of grass. Mr. Regan, convinced, consulted me. He told me frankly that on account of the prominence of the persons involved he feared to act. Whatever Miss May Hawthorne may think, it was with reluctance that I accepted his conclusion, and with even greater reluctance that I agreed to help him." "The conclusion being?" June demanded. "The obvious and inescapable one, Mrs. Dunn, FR1;FR2;^ WHERE THERE'S A WILL 71 i; that your brother was murdered." Skinner met her steady gaze. "If his death was an accident, if he tripped or caught the gun trigger on a briar as was supposed, it is, to put it mildly, difficult to account for the fingerprints. A man doesn't handle a gun that way. And since we have your son's statement, and Mr. StauflFer's, that the gun wasn't touched after the body was discovered, there is no possible way, if it was an accident, to account for the wiping of the gun, the blood on it, and the wisp of grass. There would be the same objections to a theory of suicide, were such a theory advanced. Only on the supposition that it was murder can these facts be explained. The murderer shot your brother. He chose not to use his handkerchief, if he had one, to wipe his own fingerprints and a spot of blood from the gun, but instead plucked a bunch of grass. Then he printed your brother's fingers on the gun, using the right hand, and getting them on the barrel upside down. On his way out through the woods, he tossed the bunch of grass among some undergrowth. If he had done that after he reached the fork instead of before, we would know whether he was headed for the highway or for your house. As it is, he bungled badly, either because he figured no crime would be suspected, or because he was stupid, or because he feared someone might come and was in great haste." r <^t-< "' FR1;72 WHERE THERE'S A WILL "I don't believe it," said April Hawthorne. Everyone looked at her. Her pallor had disappeared, and the famous ripple was in her voice again. "Not any of it." Skinner faced her. "What is it you don't believe, Miss Hawthorne? The facts, or the interpretation of them?" "I simply don't believe that my brother was murdered. I don't believe that we Hawthornes are having this happen to us. I don't believe it." "Neither do I." It was Osric Stauffer backing her up, energetically. The district attorney shrugged and returned to June. "Do you, Mrs. Dunn? I mean, I earnestly want you to realize that this is what it is, what I said, the cruel and remorseless march of events. I regret it, but I have to deal with it." June looked at him, said nothing, gave no sign. "Here," Skinner said, "I want to convince you-- I want--I'll have to have--your co-operation in this--and you must understand that your sisters' suspicions, which I suppose you share--are absolutely groundless. No political gossip or slander has anything to do with it. I presume, since you were here consulting him, you regard Nero Wolfe as your friend. He is certainly an expert on crime and evidence." He pivoted. "Mr. "wolfe, is it your opinion that Noel Hawthorne's death was an accident?" FR1;I WHERE THERE'S A WILL 73 I "wolfe shook his head. "I'm an onlooker, Mr. Skinner. I happen to be here because this is my office." "But your opinion, based on what you have , heard?" "Well .. . am I to accept your facts?" "Yes. They are unassailable." / - " ; "Then they're unique. However, postulating them, Mr. Hawthorne was murdered." ' Skinner turned. But by the time he faced June again, she was on her feet. "You can find us at our brother's residence," she told him. "All of us. I shall telephone my husband from there. You'd bett ter come too, Glenn. This means--I know what it means. We'll have to take it." She moved. "Come, I Andy. May . . . April, bring Celia .. ." Wolfe's voice sounded: "If you please, Mrs. Dunn. Do you wish me to proceed with the little matter we were discussing?" "I think--" Prescott began, but June cut him off: "Yes. I do. Go ahead. Come, children." CHAPTER FIVE wolfe said, "Move closer. Miss Karn, so we won't have to shout. That red chair is the most comfortable."

Naomi Karn, without saying anything, got up, crossed to the red chair, recently vacated by May Hawthorne, and sank into it. She was the only one left. Immediately upon the departure of the Hawthornes and Dunns, with entourage, both branches of law and order had deserted us too. Inspector Cramer, noticing the young woman still inconspicuous in her corner, had pampered his curiosity by firing a question at Wolfe, but Wolfe had waved it off and he had abandoned it and hastened after the others. Wolfe regarded her with half-closed eyes. After a moment he murmured, "Well. Now you're in a pickle." She lifted her brows a trifle and asked, "Me? Not at all." She wasn't pasty-faced, as she had been some half an hour before, but she was nothing like as ycocky as when she had originally made me sore. "Oh, yes, you are." Wolfe wiggled a finger at her. "Let's don't start with caracoles. You know very well you're in a devil of a pickle. Those police74

FR1;WHERE THERE^S A WILL 75 men are going up there and ask interminable questions. Among others, about Mr. Hawthorne's will. Even if it's a political foray, which seems doubtful, they'll inquire about the will for the sake of appearances. They always do. Then they'll question you. I expect Inspector Cramer will take that on himself. Mr. Cramer's weapons are nothing remarkable for penetration, but they can do a lot of bruising." He pushed a button. "Will you have some beer?" She shook her head. "I can't imagine any question anyone could ask me that would be difficult or embarrassing to answer." ^^�./< "I'll wager that isn't true. Miss Karn. I don t mean merely that there are thousands of questions which I myself would find it difficult or embarrassing to answer, and that doubtless holds for all the members of our race. I mean, specifically, that you were scared half to death when Mr. Skinner announced that Noel Hawthorne was murdered. The confident and defiant intelligence which had flashed from your eyes a moment before, vanished like that." He snapped his fingers. "Also, specifically, what are you here for now?" "I'm here because you sent for me and I don't intend--" "No no no. We've turned that page. Mr. Skinner has. That bomb he lugged in here has started a new FR1;76 WHERE THERE'S A WILL chapter. It caused a lull, temporary perhaps but complete, in the hostilities over the will; everyone had forgotten all about it until I asked Mrs. Dunn if she wished me to proceed. Including you. If after the shock of Mr. Skinner's announcement, you had resumed thinking about the will, your face would have gone on the warpath again, but it didn't; to this moment it shows only wariness and concern. Your mind isn't on money. Miss Karn, it's on murder, and I have nothing to do with that. Why didn't you get up and go as soon as the others had left? Why did you stay?" It looked to me as if he had overplayed it, for she wasn't answering him with words, but with action. She had quietly arisen from her chair and started for the door. Wolfe spoke, with no change in his tone or tempo, to her receding back: "When your mind leaves murder for money again, let me know and we'll talk it over." I was feeling disgruntled. Granting that Skinner's bomb had filled the air with fragments, after all the trouble I had taken to bring her there I saw no sense in his shoving her off like that just to hear himself talk. At least I wasn't going to aid and abet by opening doors; I sat. Then I saw her feet were dragging, and with her hand on the knob she stopped and stood there with her back to us. After a few FR1;WHERE THERE^S A WILL 79 seconds of that she turned abruptly, marched \e^n to the red chair, and sat down. ' She looked at Wolfe and said, "I stayed because I was sitting there thinking about something." He nodded. "Just so," he said pleasantly. "Did you get anywhere?" "Yes. I did. I made a decision. I was going to tell you what it was, and before I got a chance you jumped on me, about my being in a pickle and being scared half to death. I'm not scared, Mr. Wolfe." Her eyes, leveled at him, certainly didn't look scared, and her voice didn't sound like it. "You can't browbeat me. The last time I was in a panic was when I swallowed a live frog at the age of two. I wouldn't be now, even if I had murdered Mr. Hawthorne myself." ^ ^ / .^, -^ ^- r,^"That's fine. I like spunk. What was the decision you made?" "I'm not sure I'm going to tell you. I'm not sure but what, after all, it would be better to let it be a fight instead of a compromise." "Then you haven't really made a decision." "Yes, I have. And I think--I'll stick to it. I assure you I wasn't frightened into it, but certainly I made it because of this--this news. I'm not in any pickle now, but I have sense enough to know that with the whole Hawthorne gang for bitter enemies I might be. With their position and influence. They 76 WHERE THERE'S A WILL chap have half the estate. Half of what was left to ^rc." "Indeed." Wolfe closed his eyes, and after a moment partly opened them again. "So that was your decision." "It was." ^ "And you think you'll stick to it." "I do." "That's too bad." "Why is it too bad?" "Because it's quite -likely that if you had made such an offer, say this morning, when Mr. Stauffer called on you, it would have been accepted. Now, unfortunately, it can't be considered. Do you want to hear a counterproposal?" "What is it?" "That you get a hundred thousand dollars and my clients get the rest." Miss Karn got smaller. That was what it looked like, she simply shrank, not back, but in all around. She was smaller. I watched her doing it for ten seconds. But apparently it was only springs coiling tighter inside of her, for all at once she laughed, and it was a pretty good laugh. Then she stopped laughing and said: "That's very funny." "Oh, no, really, it isn't a bit funny." "But it is." A sort of chuckle came out of her,

"I'm not a fool. Miss Karn, and I advise you not to be." "I'll try not." She arose from her chair and adjusted the blue linen wrap. 'wliy are you so generous with the hundred thousand? I suppose that's fur me to hire a good defense lawyer. It's sweet of you, simply darling. Will I find a taxi somewhere?" i-- "Are you going?" "Yes, I must. Such a nice party." -- "I might be able to persuade my clients to double it. Two hundred thousand. You can reach me here -^ at any time. Taxis are hard to find over here by the 1 river. Mr. Goodwin will take you home. Archie, please stop in the kitchen and tell Saul we'll dine , when you return." I headed off a glance of surprise at him. So the son-of-a-gun had taken steps during my absence uptown. Telling the heiress I'd only be a moment, I left her in the hall and proceeded to the kitchen, and sure enough, there was Saul Panzer playing j pinochle for matches with Fred Durkin at my 80 WHERE THERE S A WILL