Wicked Cravings

CHAPTER NINETEEN

It had only taken an hour for the tranquilizer to wear off. Now—looking angrier than before—the black wolf paced in her crate, which was only twice as long and wide as her body. Several times she’d attacked it, looking for a weakness in the metal, and Dante had cringed every time her slender, graceful body smashed against it. Never had he felt more helpless or more like a bastard. For the past four years, her wolf had been caged, and now that she had finally surfaced again, she was back in a cage. And he’d been the one to put her in there.

She looked out at him with accusing, judgmental eyes. Guilt twisted his insides. “I’m sorry,” he murmured, although he knew she wouldn’t understand the words. Her response was a snarl that swore revenge. He heard as the door to the examination room opened behind him, but he only gave the visitor a sideways glance.

“Did she eat the meat?” asked Grace.

He shook his head. The wolf had snuffed at it.

“Does she recognize you?”

He was getting real sick of people speaking of his mate as though she was unbalanced. “Yes. I keep telling everyone—it’s not that she’s feral. She’s just scared and confused.”

“Sorry. It’s just that I heard she tried to attack you.”

“She smelled Laurie on me.”

“And why would she smell Laurie on you?” snapped Grace, giving him an accusatory look that was quite similar to the one his mate was wearing.

“See, now, if you’re reacting that way and I’m not your mate, is it any wonder that she wanted to draw blood?”

“I guess not. But you didn’t answer my question.”

He sighed. “Laurie threw herself at me when I was trying to get to Jaime’s wolf. She was afraid because of the duel between Jaime’s and Glory’s wolves, and she didn’t know what to do.” His wolf snarled at the memory.

“Afraid? Really?”

In response to the skepticism in her voice, he arched a brow questioningly.

“You don’t think that she did it on purpose?”

“Why would she?”

She gave him an impatient look. “Dante, honey, for a very observant person you have such a blind spot. The woman is jealous. I don’t know whether it’s because she’s still slightly possessive of you because you were once mated—”

“Partially mated.”

“—or whether it’s something else, but it wouldn’t surprise me if she did it on purpose so that there was no way Jaime would let you near her.”

“But she stayed with Jaime to fight when she could have just gone back to the caves with the rest of you.”

Grace shrugged. “I didn’t say I had all the answers. I just know the woman is jealous and doesn’t want you with Jaime. Did you know she came to your room just before the mating ceremony?

She wanted to see you alone. Dominic chased her off, and then Hope did her best to keep her away from you.”

He hadn’t known that, but at the moment he didn’t care to try to understand it. “Grace, I really can’t think of all this right now. All I care about is Jaime and making sure that she comes back.”

“Can you sense her?”

“Yes. She’s tired and irritated. Her wolf isn’t being very receptive to her right now.”

“She still feels unsafe. Unless that changes, she won’t pay much attention to what Jaime thinks or feels.”

He nodded. “I know. I’ve kept the number of visitors to a minimum. I figure the fewer people and scents around her, the better. It might help if she doesn’t think strange shifters are going to be hanging around what’s now effectively her den.” Only Taryn, Shaya, and Gabe had been inside the room. None of them had received a welcoming greeting from the black wolf. “I tried giving her one of my T-shirts that Jaime wears to bed, thinking she might find it comforting the way Jaime does. She ripped it to shreds.” Hearing Grace’s heavy sigh, he looked at her curiously. “What?”

“It’s just that seeing her like this…it reminds me of…”

“Louisa,” he easily supplied, since he’d been thinking the same thing. “Jaime won’t turn rogue.” It was an adamant statement, but he wasn’t sure who he was trying to convince more—himself or Grace.

“I hope not, honey. I really hope not.”

Dante spent the rest of the day simply talking to the black wolf. Most of the words were for Jaime, but the gentling tone was for the wolf. She didn’t calm as he’d hoped. When she wasn’t pacing or attacking her cage, she was huddled in a ball growling at anyone who came even remotely close to the crate—him included. So far he could only get three feet from the cage without the wolf growling and baring her teeth. Two feet, he promised himself before he went to sleep that night on the chair in the examination room. I’ll make it to two feet away tomorrow.

But he didn’t. The wolf’s state was worse in the morning rather than better, though she did actually eat the food Grace brought for her. Again he spent his day with her, talking to her, remaining at her side in a gesture that said he was there for her, only her. The fact was that he had no idea how to win her wolf’s trust. Trust was something that had to be earned, but how did he earn it in such a short time without being in a situation where he was tested? He had no freaking idea.

The only plan he had been able to come up with was to become a permanent fixture in that room, and one that was never once threatening or frightening. He ate his meals in there, he showered in the en-suite bathroom when he needed to, and he slept in either the chair or the bed. He also ensured that he was the one who fed her and cleaned her cage—though she had to be tranquilized each time they needed to clean it. He would see to her every need, would make the wolf see that he could and would care for her.

Day three was also a bad day. The wolf jumped at every noise, every voice, every unexpected movement. It broke his heart to see her so frightened and anxious. He understood then why Jaime had been so compelled to sit with that little dog, Ben, in the sanctuary—that was all Dante wanted to do right now. Just sit with her and hold her, pet her, and comfort her. The problem was that each time he went near the crate, she attacked it. Answering his wolf’s desperate need to have contact with his mate, he had shifted forms. That hadn’t worked well. Her wolf had recognized him as her mate, but she didn’t associate him with safety or security, so she hadn’t wanted him close.

Days four, five, and six went pretty much the same way. Thankfully, Ivy and Riley had provided more tranquilizers so that he could keep knocking the wolf out whenever he needed to clean her cage. Both women had also asked to help care for her while she was in this state, claiming that they were experienced with traumatized animals. While that was true, he refused their offer. He wanted few scents in that room, and he wanted to be the one to heal her. He should be the one to heal her.

Day seven had been a truly bad day. She’d attacked the cage so hard that she’d cut open her paws. After giving her another tranquilizer shot, he and Grace had seen to the injuries. As soon as the wolf was aware and alert again, she’d torn off the bandages with her teeth and attacked the crate even harder than before. Still, Dante stuck to his plan of remaining with her and being the one who saw to all her needs. The problem was that whereas before she had more or less tolerated his presence, she was now angered by it rather than comforted.

The days began to blend and blur until, before he knew it, it had been another seven days and Jaime’s wolf was showing no signs of retreating. Agitated would be a mild word to describe how Dante was feeling. Occasionally he had snapped or shouted at the wolf, frustrated that none of his efforts were making her even slightly associate him with safety. Each time he snapped, her wolf would practically jump out of her skin and cower. And didn’t that make him feeling like a cruel son of a bitch.

As for Jaime…The truth that he hadn’t told anyone was that he couldn’t sense her very well anymore. He knew that she wasn’t weakening in spirit or admitting defeat. It was simply that her wolf’s state was so prevailing now that she practically drowned out Jaime. In short, she was truly at risk of turning rogue. His wolf was constantly fretting and anxious, which only made Dante’s mood worse. That was most likely why Shaya had encouraged him several times to go get some air or go for a run, but he wouldn’t leave his mate. He’d stuck to his plan so far, and he was going to continue sticking to it.

The trouble was that with each day that passed, he sensed Jaime that little bit less. A sense of defeat soon began to creep in and slither through him, tempting him to accept that she wasn’t coming back, that the wolf would soon turn rogue. There were times over the next week when he almost did, but then he would catch himself succumbing and would give himself a mental slap, praying that Jaime hadn’t sensed through their bond that he’d almost given up on her.

It was day twenty-three—or was it twenty-five? Dante wasn’t even sure anymore—when Trey came in the room for the first time. They had all agreed that since the Alpha had angered the black wolf by trying to dominate her, it might be better if he stayed away. Dante watched his mate, looking for her reaction to Trey’s presence. Nothing. She simply remained curled up in a ball, peering out of the cage through depressed, confused eyes that plucked at his heart. Some days she was like this.

Others she was a ball of fury. He never knew what he’d be dealing with when he woke in the morning. In either state, she was unreceptive to him and everybody else.

“Hey,” he said to Dante. “How’s she been today?”

“She’s been quiet, but she hasn’t eaten and she’s jumpy.” Even he could hear the hopelessness and fatigue in his voice.

Minutes of absolute silence passed before Trey spoke again. “Dante, maybe it would be kinder if—”

“No.” He’d known this was coming the second Trey entered the room. It had only been a matter of time before someone suggested it. Trey was the only one who ever would have done so, and for very personal reasons. While Dante understood those reasons, it didn’t ease his ire.

“Dante—”

“I said no.” His voice was barely controlled.

Trey sighed. “You’re not thinking of Jaime. Imagine how she’s feeling right now.”

“I don’t have to. I know how she’s feeling.” Well, on some days he did—just a little.

“I know what it’s like to be nothing but an observer while your wolf takes the front seat and does things you would never do. Sometimes I think that it’s how a ghost would feel, if there are such things. You can see and hear all these people you care about, you know everything that’s going on, but you can’t be part of any of it, you can’t talk to any of those people. You’re stuck. Trapped. Alone.

Helpless. Jaime’s been trapped like that for twenty-eight days now.” Twenty-eight? Huh. Longer than he’d thought.

“You told us that when this happened the first time, it was three weeks later that her wolf retreated. It’s been four weeks, and her wolf isn’t showing any signs of doing that, Dante. Unless her wolf’s state somehow improves, Jaime can’t push for the surface. It’s looking very unlikely that she’s going to be able to.”

“Jaime’s strong enough to do this,” he insisted. “I know she is.”

“Yes, she’s strong, but so is her wolf. She was even strong enough to ignore my order to back down. Her wolf has spent a long time all locked up, and instead of accepting that she was confined, she fought it. She didn’t stop fighting, and I don’t think she’ll stop fighting this either. Maybe it’s time to—”

“I can’t kill her, Trey. I won’t.”

“It wouldn’t be killing her,” Trey said quickly, ignoring the vehemence in Dante’s voice. “It would be giving her and her wolf some peace. Jaime has spent a lot of her life fighting. If anyone deserves some peace, it’s her.”

“And if this was Taryn we were talking about?”

Trey’s expression hardened. “Dante—”

“If this was Taryn?” he persisted, louder this time.

“The God’s honest truth? I’d be giving myself the same advice that I’m giving you. I wouldn’t want her to suffer in any way, especially just because I’ll miss her. You have to put Jaime first. It’s what mates do.”

“He’s right, Dante.”

The second that feminine voice spoke—a voice he couldn’t say he’d in any way missed over the past four weeks—his mate leaped at the crate, growling and snarling at the visitor. His own wolf wasn’t pleased either.

“This would be the kind thing to do,” said Laurie, her face sad and painted with sympathy. “I mean, look at her. One minute she’s huddled in a corner, and the next thing she’s like this. I’d say it’ll only be a day or so before she turns rogue. It’s not fair to Jaime.” When Laurie went to place her hand on his arm, Dante jerked away from her and snapped, “Don’t touch me.” He noted that Jaime’s wolf eased a little at that, though she was still growling.

“Dante, don’t be like that.”

“Like what? What is it you actually expect?” He still couldn’t work out what this female wanted. She was supposed to have left by now, but had apparently come up with excuse after excuse for staying longer.

“Look, I know it will be hard when she’s gone, but we’ll all be here for you.” I’ll be here for you, she didn’t say, but he heard. Everything Grace had said came swimming back to the forefront of his mind.

“You think that if I lose Jaime, I’ll go back to you, is that it?” Surely it wasn’t.

“The bond isn’t fully in place. You could survive her death, and we could—”

“Are you fucking insane? I would never go back to you, never—Jaime or no Jaime.” Her face crumpled a little. “I understand if you hate me—”

“I don’t hate you, don’t you get it? I don’t anything. You are nothing to me. Understand?

Nothing. She”—he pointed at the wolf who was now still and watching, quiet and curious—“is everything to me. Everything. Healthy or traumatized, she’s all I want, and she’s mine.” He turned to Trey then. “So no, I won’t kill her. I refuse to give up on Jaime or her wolf. Jaime won’t give up fighting, I know she won’t. Neither will I. Now, both of you get out.” When Laurie reached out to him, he yelled, “Get out!”

The black wolf watched her mate, surprised and curious. He had rejected the female who coveted him. He had moved away from her touch. He had ordered her to leave. What the wolf found just as surprising was that he had ordered away their Alpha. The memory of the Alpha attempting to dominate her made a low growl involuntarily slip out.

The sound made her mate turn. He moved toward her prison. His movements were slow and unthreatening. The wolf felt his emotions, some of which she understood—sadness, worry, anger. He spoke to her. The words were undistinguishable, but she watched him silently.

“Maybe they’re right.” He cocked his head. She copied the move. His voice was different, uneven. “Maybe I’m being a cruel bastard. But I can’t do it. Even though I can feel you slipping away from me, Jaime, I can’t. I love you, you know. I didn’t tell you that, did I? I was too fucking proud to say it first. Please, baby, you have to come back to me. You said you wouldn’t leave me again, and you can’t. You promised.”

A strong smell of salt filled the air, out of place in the room.

The wolf sensed Jaime strongly then. Knew Jaime wanted dominance. Knew Jaime was sad.

But those details were unimportant to the wolf. While they were unsafe and imprisoned, those details did not matter.

Surprising the wolf again, her mate left. He never left. Her mate was supposed to stay with her. He had gone. Left her and Jaime alone. A whine escaped her and she lay down again, uncertain and wary.

She lifted her head when the door suddenly opened. But it was not her mate. It was again the female who coveted him. The wolf growled, wanting her to leave. The female halted and the wolf smelled her fear, but the female didn’t go.

“I know you don’t want me here, but I’ve come to let you free. Won’t that be fun? I know you can hear me, Jaime, and you’re probably wondering why I’d free your wolf. The answer’s simple.

Dante doesn’t seem to have any intention of killing you. So I figure I’ll let you out, let you attack someone, and then they’ll have to kill you, won’t they? Imagine how much fun it will be for you to watch while your wolf tears apart one of the people you love.” The wolf growled again when the female moved. Still, she came close and picked up the object beside the prison. The female touched the prison with the object. There was a noise, a click.

The wolf growled louder, curling her lip to expose teeth and gums. The female quickly moved away.

“Done. Try not to attack Dante if you can help it. He’s gone off to cry, poor guy.” The female left, but did not close the door. The wolf saw freedom. Instantly she attacked the prison again and again and again. A wall of the prison opened. The wolf was out.

Instinctively the wolf was quiet, fearing the unknown, fearing the scents, though they were familiar. The scent of her mate was heavy, tempting. But there was another scent that was tempting. A scent, a…presence. Familiar and inviting. It promised safety. Comfort. The wolf needed safety.

Silently, the wolf padded through the large den, following the scent. Midway through a tunnel, she heard voices in the room nearby and slowed her pace. Her mind recognized the voices, linked them with names “Grace” and “Shaya.” She recognized the scents coming from the room—food. The scents were appealing, but not as appealing as the other scent. It was stronger now. Safety was close.

The wolf passed the room slowly, quietly, stealthily. Jaime approved, she sensed. The wolf continued to follow the inviting scent. She silently went through more tunnels, careful to avoid detection. Turning a corner, she stopped. Packmates. She reversed until only her head was visible, observing those she scented as her Alphas and “Dominic.”

They were threats, danger, they made her frightened. Instinct said “flee.” But safety was so near now. So tempting. As the packmates spoke, facing the other direction, the wolf lowered her body and moved forward. She stayed close to the wall, pausing when the words stopped. Always silent, careful, and stealthy, the wolf moved until the scent was overwhelming.

The packmates were still speaking when she followed the scent into a room. Slowly she padded along soft ground. There was another strong scent here. “Cat,” she knew. “Hunk.” It hissed when she neared the large object that contained safety, but it made no threatening move.

The wolf knew that she needed to climb to get to safety. There was another object. It smelled much like a tree. “Chair.” She hopped nimbly onto it and saw that the large object containing safety was like her prison. But there was no wall at the top. The wolf looked inside and inhaled deeply. A pup. “Kye.” Just like when Jaime had held him, the pup smelled to the wolf like safety and—

Movement caught her eye. Packmates. She froze. They froze.

“Dominic” spoke. “Trey…Tell me that’s not Jaime.”

“She must have attacked Dante and gotten out.”

The Alpha female spoke then. “I don’t smell blood.”

“Dominic” scented of nervousness. “What do we do? I don’t want to hurt Jaime, I really don’t, but what if she hurts Kye?”

“I wonder what made her come here.”

The Alpha male growled at his mate. “That’s not the important part of the situation we have here, Taryn.” He put an object to his ear. “Dante, you okay? Jaime got out. She’s in mine and Taryn’s room, hanging over the crib.”

The wolf didn’t like that the Alpha male’s voice was now loud and angry. She growled warningly. He growled back.

“Hurry, Dante.” He put the object away.

The wolf knew the scent coming from the Alpha male—panic. When he moved toward her, she growled again. This male who had challenged her was dangerous. Would attempt to dominate her, would hurt her and take her away from safety. From the pup, from “Kye.”

“Dominic, we can’t wait for him. On the count of three, I’ll dive at the wolf. You dive at the crib and protect Kye.”

The Alpha female’s voice lost its softness. “What am I, chopped liver?”

“I don’t want you near her. She’s unstable. You didn’t see what my mother did to Marcus.”

“Jaime isn’t rogue.”

“She almost is. There’s not much difference between the two, trust me.” He turned to the male.

“On the count of three, Dominic. One…two…thr—”

“No!”

The wolf flinched at the noise, surprised. Her mate was there now. He was in front of her. The Alpha couldn’t reach her. Her mate had protected her. Again.

Dante had never been so damn scared in his entire fucking life. Who could have blamed Trey for attacking the wolf before she had the chance to attack his son? But Dante just couldn’t allow any harm to come to Jaime. He couldn’t. Everything inside him rebelled against it, balked at it.

“Dante, move,” gritted out Trey.

“I can’t,” he said in an agonizing whisper.

“Hey, look.” Taryn sounded surprised, intrigued, and amused all at once.

Dante turned to look at his mate, who had now hopped down from the chair. She gave Trey a disgruntled look and settled beside Hunk at the base of the crib.

“I can’t believe I never thought of it before.”

He turned back to Taryn. “What?”

“My grandmother was the same.”

“Taryn, what the hell are you talking about?” demanded Trey.

She rolled her eyes at his tone. “Our son’s a healer.”

“A healer?”

“My grandmother was a healer, but she could only heal psychological wounds. She was the only reason my father survived my mother’s death. She didn’t help me with it because the other person has to want her help, and I didn’t want help from anyone. I was too deep in grief.” Dante frowned, still a little confused. “So…Kye’s an empathic healer?”

“No, that’s different. He won’t be able to help with emotions. Only mental scars. I thought Hunk followed him around because he was being protective, but Hunk was an abused cat, right?

Clearly he’s still got a little mental trauma, and so he’s drawn to Kye. It’ll make him automatically protective of Kye, too. That was how it was for my grandmother, anyway.” For the first time in a month, optimism flowed through Dante. “You’re saying he can heal Jaime’s wolf?”

“Um…no.”

“No?”

“He’s just a baby, Dante. But clearly, Jaime’s wolf finds his presence soothing, calming. You need to take advantage of her lucidity and try to gain her trust now while she’s receptive to you.” Trey shook his head. “No chance will I let her anywhere near my son while she’s in that state.

I’m sorry, Dante, I really am, but just as you need to protect Jaime, I need to protect Kye.”

“That’s the thing, though, Flintstone—she’s not in a state anymore. If there’s one thing I can guarantee she won’t do, it’s hurt Kye. Like Hunk, she’ll be protective of him.” Trey ground his teeth, scowling at Taryn. “We can’t—”

“Zip it, Trey. If that was me needing help, you’d be singing a different tune. Do you really think I’d do anything that would put our son in danger?”

Seeming to accept her point, albeit begrudgingly, he turned back to Dante. “We’re not moving from the room, and if she tries to hurt Kye, you won’t save her from me. Understand?” Dante gave him a curt nod, though he had no intention of letting Trey harm her. He looked at the wolf and then back at Taryn. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Sit with her. Talk to her. Touch her.”

“She never wants me near her.”

“Probably because she didn’t feel safe before. You can’t expect her to feel safe when she’s in a cage—it totally negates the chance of it. I’m not judging you for it—you didn’t have a choice. She wasn’t in a state that meant you could free her. Now she is.” Still unsure and off-center, Dante scrubbed a hand down his face and inhaled deeply. Taryn was right, though: the wolf did find Kye’s presence calming. Well, that was a start.

Slowly he crouched down, expecting the black wolf to growl and warn him away from her.

She didn’t, to his utter shock. She just watched him with alert eyes, keeping her chin resting on her forelegs. Hunk, on the other hand, hissed loudly at him. Dante was so close to hating that cat.

Feeling reassured, he sat cross-legged in front of her. The wolf continued to watch him, but she didn’t move or make a sound. It was strange not being growled at after four weeks of it. “Hey.” No more words came to him, most likely because there were other people in the room. He felt awkward and stupid. But they weren’t important, he told himself. All that was important right now was his mate.

He concentrated solely on her, blocking out everything else around him. “So you got out, huh.

I’m looking forward to hearing the story behind that. I know why you still haven’t retreated. I know you still feel like you have to protect yourself and Jaime. But you don’t. Not anymore. All the danger…it’s gone. It’s all over now. And I’m right here. I’ll keep both of you safe. Jaime knows that.

She trusts me, and now you need to, too. Because I miss her. Really, really miss her. Miss waking up with her and holding her and having her ignore every word I say. You have to trust that I’ll protect you both. You have to let her come back. I love the stubborn, willful, hotheaded bitch.” Dante might have felt embarrassed about the tears trailing down his cheeks if it hadn’t been for the fact that he wasn’t the only one sniffling. He was surprised when her wolf whined, even though he could sense a hint of sadness from her. He could also sense something else quite strongly. Jaime, he could sense Jaime. She was a contrary mixture of hopeful, sad, and content. The feeling was so fucking amazing that more tears filled his eyes.

What surprised him even more was that the black wolf lifted her head from her paws and placed it on his lap, peering up at him with eyes that were slightly guarded but no longer fearful and angry. In a cautious movement, he moved his hand to the spot between her ears and scratched lightly.

She didn’t growl or flinch or snap at him. Instead, she relaxed a little at his touch, half closing her eyes. For him, it was the equivalent of a miracle.

Dante stayed like that with her for hours, not daring to move for fear that the moment would be broken. When it came time to feed Kye and the baby had to be moved, Dante had expected the wolf to change back into her fearful, defensive state. Instead, she watched Taryn carefully as she scooped Kye from the crib and took him to the bed to feed him. The wolf remained at the foot of the crib with Dante, apparently content enough to simply be around Kye.

Thankfully, Taryn and Trey agreed that Dante could sleep in their room later that night. Not that he would have moved from that spot no matter what anybody said, but it was easier that they were okay with it. Being cautious, Trey insisted that Kye sleep in the huge bed between him and Taryn, but the wolf was happy to stay near the crib and Dante. So, leaning back against the chair near the crib, Dante fell asleep with his mate’s head still resting on his lap.

A huge impact to his chest and head woke him with a start later. But, strangely, there was no pain whatsoever. A millisecond later, he understood why, and he also realized that there was a naked woman on his lap wrapped around him. Instantly his arms were locked around her so damn tight he wouldn’t be surprised if he broke a few ribs. He’d promised himself that the second he had Jaime back in his arms, he’d tell her how much he loved her, but he couldn’t say a word because he found himself sobbing into the crook of her neck just as she was sobbing into his.

He didn’t need to ask how the bond had clicked right into place. He could feel why. Could feel her wolf’s trust, her clarity, her total acceptance of him, and her faith in his ability to protect her. He could also feel Jaime’s heartbeat totally in sync with his own, feel her inside him, a part of him.

He didn’t remember moving, but soon he was carrying her back to their room, wanting nothing more than to be alone with her. It wasn’t until they were inside the room that he finally lifted his face from the crook of her neck, searching out that smoky-blue gaze he’d missed so fucking much. Then his mouth was on hers, taking it almost violently. He clutched her to him, running his hands over every part of her, unable to stop touching her.

Not a word was spoken as he pressed her against the wall, reached down to snap open his fly and free his cock, and then slammed into her. It didn’t last long. It wasn’t about pleasure. It was about a need to reconnect, to know it was real, to know that she was really with him and he had her back.

Maybe that was why when his climax hit he came harder than he ever had before in his life. He had his crazy, stubborn bitch back.