Worst Fears Realized

48

STONE WAS JERKED AWAKE BY A LOUD ringing. For a moment, he thought it had been a dream, then it rang again. It wasn’t the phone; could it be the door? He had never heard his own doorbell. He got up, got into a cotton robe, and padded downstairs.

Arrington was standing on the porch.

“Good morning,” he said sleepily. “Come in.” She was wearing faded jeans, a chambray shirt knotted under her breasts, and no makeup. He thought she had never looked more beautiful.

She put her arms around his waist and leaned into his shoulder. “Good morning,” she said.

“Would you like some coffee?”

“Yes, all right.”

He moved away from her and into the kitchen, where he busied himself making coffee.

Arrington came and sat on a stool at the counter that separated the kitchen from the living room. “I take it I just missed Ms. Bianchi?”

“Yes.”

“I saw her drive away.”

Stone turned. “Did she see you?”

“No.”

He breathed a sigh of relief.

“I like the cottage; it suits you.”

“Thanks.”

“Did you choose it with Ms. Bianchi?”

“No.” He didn’t elaborate on that.

“I like it even better, then.”

“I’m glad; you’ll have to bring Vance and Peter over.”

She said nothing.

“What brings you out on a Sunday morning?”

“I thought I might go to a country auction, then I found myself driving by the green and thought I would rather see you.”

“Oh.” He poured them both a cup of coffee. “Have you had breakfast?”

“Yes. When you live with Vance Calder, there’s always a servant at hand to grant your every wish.” She didn’t sound very happy about it.

“So, how’s life in LA? Do you like it out there?”

“It’s all right, when I’m not being kidnapped.”

“I hope you haven’t made a habit of it,” he said.

“No; you were kind enough to put an end to that. I’ll always be grateful.” She put her hand on his.

“You’re welcome,” he said.

“I know you’re not very comfortable with gratitude; but I had to say it, anyway. Vance feels the same way. He likes you very much, you know.”

“And I like him.”

“Let’s sit in the living room,” she said, taking her coffee and making her way to a sofa.

Stone followed and sat down next to her, leaving a respectable distance between them.

“How have you spent the time since we last saw each other?” Arrington asked.

The memory of their last time together flooded back. They had been in the bedroom of a Bel-Air Hotel suite, and Arrington had been naked. “Oh, the usual”, he said. “A little work, a little play.”

“How is Dino?” she asked.

“Very angry; he doesn’t like his family being in danger.”

She nodded. “And Elaine?”

“Exactly the same.”

“Give them both my love, will you?”

“I will.”

There was a long silence; Stone struggled to find something to say. “Are you writing?” he asked, finally.

“I started a novel, but after a couple of chapters I sort of gave up on it.”

“Don’t give up. You’d write a very fine novel; you have all the skills.”

“I don’t know that I’m cut out to be a novelist,” she said.

“Why not?”

“I think that, in order to write a good novel, you have to be able to face reality, and I’m not very good at that.”

“What is it about reality that you find so hard to face?”

“The reality is that I want to be with you.”

That sucked the wind right out of Stone; he was unable to respond.

“I think about you all the time; about having dinner with you and Dino and Elaine; about living in your house; about making love to you; I think about that a lot.”

Stone put down his coffee and massaged his temples. This was pretty much all he had thought about, until recently. Now she was here. What was he going to do about it?

“Do you think about me?”

“Yes.”

She moved closer. “Do you think about making love to me?”

“Yes.”

She sat up on her knees on the sofa and ran a hand through his hair. With her other hand, she pulled loose the tie of his robe and ran her hand inside.

Stone took her hand and put his on her shoulder, then took her into his arms and kissed her face. “Don’t,” he said. “It’s too painful.”

“I want the pain to stop,” she said. “I want you.”

“You know very well that I want you, too.”

“Then I’m yours.”

Stone took a deep breath. “No,” he said, “you’re not.”

“I want to be yours again.”

“I can’t let myself want that.”

“Why not? We can have each other.”

“No, we can’t.” Stone could not believe he was saying this.

“I’ll come back to New York; I’ll get a divorce. I should never have married Vance.”

“But you did.”

“I made a stupid mistake,” she said. “Do I have to pay for it the rest of my life?”

“We both do.”

“I want to come back, Stone.”

“You can’t take Vance’s son away from him; I won’t be a party to that.”

“Then I’ll leave Peter with Vance. I can still see him.”

“Arrington, I saw you with that baby last night; you love being his mother, and if I came between you, you’d end up hating me for it.”

“I want you more.”

“No, you don’t.”

She sat up and pulled his robe open. “Make love to me,” she said. She ran her hands down his body and kissed him on the neck and shoulders. “Just this once; make love to me. Then, if you still want me to go, I will.”

Stone took her shoulders and held her away from him. “Listen to me,” he said. “I’ve done things in my life I’m not proud of, but I’ve never been an adulterer, and I’m not going to start now – not even with you, in spite of the fact that I’ve loved you more than any woman I’ve ever known. I just can’t do it.”

Tears spilled down her cheeks. “Stone, I love you.”

“Arrington, some part of me will always love you.”

“Then why can’t we be together?”

“We both made choices that we’re going to have to learn to live with.”

“I was living with them until I saw you last night,” Arrington said. “Really, I was.”

“Then you can do it again.” Stone stood up and pulled her to her feet. “You have to go home, now.” He walked her slowly toward the door, his arm around her. She was still crying. On the way to the door, Stone grabbed a handful of tissues from a box on an end table.

At the open door, she turned and faced him. “Don’t send me away; please don’t do that.”

“You have to go,” he said.

“You don’t really want me to go.” She sobbed.

He dabbed at her eyes with the tissues. “What I want doesn’t matter anymore.”

She took the tissues and blew her nose loudly. “Kiss me goodbye?”

He took her face in his hands and kissed her lips lightly. “Goodbye, sweet girl,” he said.

She turned and ran for the Range Rover parked in his drive. In a moment, she had driven away.

Stone walked back into the house and closed the door, trying hard to swallow the lump in his throat. Then he heard a car door slam outside. Oh, God, he thought, she’s come back, and I won’t be able to send her away again.

He went and opened the front door, ready to take her in his arms. Vance Calder stood on the little porch. “Hello, Stone,” he said.

“Hello, Vance,” Stone said weakly. “Will you come in?”

“No,” Vance replied. “I just want to know if I have anything to worry about from you.”

Stone shook his head. “No, Vance, you don’t.”

Vance took a deep breath. “Thank you for that,” he said.

“Just try to find a way to make her happy.”

Vance nodded, squeezed Stone’s shoulder, went back to his car, and drove away.

Stone went back inside, hoping that every Sunday morning in Connecticut was not going to be as hard as this one.