Wyrd Sisters

1

In Macbeth, the three witches are sometimes called the weird sisters, e.g. act 2, scene 1: (Banquo) “I dreamt last night of the three weird sisters […]”; or act 4, scene 1: (Macbeth) “Saw you the weird sisters?” (Lennox) “No, my lord.”

But there’s a bit more to it than just the Macbeth reference. ‘Wyrd’ is the Norse concept of destiny or fate, as embodied by the Norns (who probably inspired the Witches in Macbeth). Since ‘weird’ to a modern reader just means ‘strange’, it’s easy to miss the overtones of the title and just assume that it’s an Old spelling of ‘weird’.

2

Macbeth, act 1, scene 1, first line. The entire opening scene of Wyrd Sisters is of course a direct parody on the opening scene of Macbeth.

3

Probably the most famous Chance (or Community Chest) card in Monopoly: “GO TO JAIL—Go directly to Jail. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200.”. (or 200 pounds, or 200 guilders, or 200 of whatever currency you care to name).

4

Terry says: “Magrat is pronounced Magg-rat. Doesn’t matter what I think is right—everyone I’ve heard pronounce it has pronounced it Maggrat.”

“In Margaret Murray’s book “The Witch Cult in Western Europe” you will find a number of Magrats and Magrets, and a suggestion that they were not misspellings but an earlier form of Margaret; also in the lists of those arraigned for witchcraft are the surnames Garlick, Device and Nutter. No Oggs or Weatherwax’s, though.”

5

There exists a book entitled Servants of Satan, which is about the history of witch hunts. It contains the following paragraph:

“This brings us back to Pierre de Lancre. He became convinced that Basque women where an immoral and unfaithful lot when observing their social arrangements during his witch-hunting expedition. De Lancre was especially horrified at the leadership roles in religious services taken by Basque women, the very women among whom witchcraft was rife …”

Terry comments: “I’m astonished. I’ve never heard of the guy, and I’m reasonably well-read in that area. But it is a lovely coincidence.”

It may also not be entirely a coincidence that ‘Lancre’ is a common way of referring to Lancashire, the county where the famous 17th century witch trials were held (see the annotation for p. 78/57 of Lords and Ladies).

6

Refers to the famous “Beware the ides of March” warning in Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar, act 1, scene 2.

7

Macbeth, act 4, scene 1: (2 Witch) “By the pricking of my thumbs, Something wicked this way comes […]”.

Keep an eye on Macbeth, act 4, scene 1. It’s one of Terry’s favourites in Wyrd Sisters.

8

Felmet’s dislike of the forest resonates with the prophecy foretelling Macbeth had nothing to fear until Birnam wood itself would march against him.

9

Infirm of purpose, is what Lady Macbeth calls her husband in Macbeth, act 2, scene 2.

10

‘Droit de seigneur’ or ‘jus primae noctae’ (‘right of first night’): a custom alleged to have existed in medieval Europe giving the lord of the land the right to sleep the first night with the bride of any one of his vassals. The evidence for this custom deals with redemption dues which were paid to avoid its enforcement. It probably existed as a recognised custom in parts of France and possibly Italy and Germany, but not elsewhere.

11

Gormenghast is the ancient, decaying castle from Mervyn Peake’s Gormenghast trilogy. See also the annotation for p. 17/17 of Pyramids.

12

In act 2 of Macbeth, scenes 2 and 3 have a lot of [Knocking within] in the stage directions.

13

Nanny’s ring story is a well-known folk tale that goes back as least as far as Herodotus, but has also been used by e.g. Tolkien and Jack Vance.

More interesting is that at least one non-Brit over on alt.fan.pratchett had some trouble making sense of the implied connection between the concepts of ‘turbot’ and ‘tea’. What he did not realise was that ‘tea’ is the term the British tend to use for any meal taken between 4.30 and 7 pm, which may therefore include a nice, juicy turbot.

14

I must have read Wyrd Sisters close to twenty times by now, and except for the last time this nice bit of foreshadowing completely passed me by.

15

For those who do not know: in Shakespeare’s time this was indeed the case; no women were allowed on stage.

16

Obvious, because very well known, but since I’m annotating all the other Shakespeare references, I might as well point out here that Felmet’s attempts to wash the blood from his hands echo Lady Macbeth’s actions in Macbeth after the killing of Duncan in act 5, scene 1: “Out, damned spot!”, etc.

17

Terry invented this title; he has not written any words to it (apart from the fragments that appear in the novels); but many fans (including a folk singer called Heather Wood) have; and there did turn out to exist an old Oxford drinking song that also uses the key phrase of the hedgehog song. See the Song^{*} … section in Chapter 5 for one documented version of that song (below). Terry pleads parallel evolution, and observes that: “There is a certain, how shall I put it, natural cadence to the words.”

Readers of alt.fan.pratchett have also engaged in a collective songwriting effort, the results of which can be found in the Pratchett Archives (see Chapter 6 for details), in the file /pub/pratchett/misc/hedgehog-song. See also Chapter 5 for a sample.

* The Song.

The one song that all Discworld fans will be familiar with, is of course Nanny Ogg’s favourite ballad: ‘The Hedgehog Can Never Be Buggered At All’ (see also the annotation for p. 36/35 of Wyrd Sisters).

I will start this section with the complete text to the song that might have been the prototype for the hedgehog-song—except that it wasn’t. It can be found in Michael Green’s book Why Was He Born So Beautiful and Other Rugby Songs (1967, Sphere UK), it is called ‘The Sexual Life of the Camel’, it probably dates back to the 1920s/30s, and it goes:

The annoying thing about the hedgehog song is of course that Terry only leaks us bits and pieces of it, but certainly never enough material to deduce a complete text from. So alt.fan.pratchett readers decided to write their own version of the song, which is available for downloading from the Pratchett Archives.

The first version of the song was written and posted by Matthew Crosby (who tried to incorporate all the lines mentioned in the Discworld novels), after which the text was streamlined and many verses were added by other readers of the newsgroup. Currently we have thirteen verses, which makes the song a bit too long to include here in its entirety.

Nevertheless, I thought it would be fun to show what we’ve come up with, so I have compromised and chosen to reproduce just my own favourite verses:

Finally, we come to the old drinking song mentioned in the annotation for p. 99/82 of Eric: ‘The Ball of Kerrymuir’. This song can, coincidentally enough, also be found in Michael Green’s Why Was He Born So Beautiful and Other Rugby Songs. That version appears to have the dirty words replaced by rows of asterisks—a rather useless form of editorial restraint, since in this particular case it means the song now contains more asterisks than normal alphabetic characters. Enter alt.fan.pratchett correspondent Tony D’Arcy, who was kind enough to fax me an uncensored copy of the song. ‘The Ball of Kerrymuir’ has 43 verses, a small subset of which I now reproduce for your reading pleasure, just to give you a feel for the song. From here on down this section of the APF is rated X.

18

‘Greebo’ is a word that was widely used in the early seventies to describe the sort of man who wanders around in oil-covered denim and leather (with similar long hair) and who settles disagreements with a motorcycle chain—the sort who would like to be a Hell’s Angel but doesn’t have enough style.

19

Magrat’s first greeting comes from A Midsummer Night’s Dream: “Ill met by moonlight, proud Titania”. See also the annotation for p. 350/252 of Lords and Ladies.

From Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings comes the Elvish greeting: “A star shines on the hour of our meeting”.

20

A quote from King Lear, act 4, scene 6.

21

Not quite a Shakespeare title, but Please Yourself refers to both As You Like It and the subtitle of Twelfth Night: “Or What You Will”.

22

Refers to the Andrew Lloyd Webber musicals Cats and Starlight Express.

23

Legend has it that from an egg laid by a cockerel and hatched by a serpent, a cockatrice (also known as a basilisk) will spawn. Since the cockatrice is a monster with the wings of a fowl, the tail of a dragon, and the head of a cock, whose very look causes instant death, it should be clear that such an egg would be a very bad omen indeed.

24

From what is probably the most famous soliloquy in Macbeth: act 2, scene 1. See also the annotation for p. 184/183.

25

This is a reference to the Rollright stones near Chipping Norton in the UK, which according to legend can not be accurately counted.

26

The first scene of the first act of Shakespeare’s Hamlet starts at midnight, and describes a scene lasting about fifteen minutes—yet the act ends at dawn. Likewise, the summoning of WxrtHltl-jwlpklz the demon takes place at night, but ends with the quote given above.

27

The same image can also be found in Stanley Kubrick’s classic horror movie The Shining, where the ghosts of two small girl twins (who were horribly murdered in a ‘dark deed’) walk hand in hand through the corridors of the Overlook Hotel.

28

In earlier editions of the APF this was flagged as one of Terry’s major inconsistencies. After all, Greebo is supposed to have only one eye.

But since then, Terry has explained on a.f.p: “Greebo is loosely modelled on a real cat I knew when I was a kid—he had two eyes, but one was sort of pearly coloured. He’s blind in one eye.”

29

What follows is a satire of the mad Ophelia in Hamlet: “There’s rosemary, that’s for remembrance; pray, love, remember: and there is pansies, that’s for thoughts.” (act 4, scene 5).

30

Amongst English (and Australian) children there exists the folk-belief that the seed-heads of dandelions can be used to tell the time. The method goes as follows: pick the dandelion, blow the seeds away, and the number of puffs it takes to get rid of all the seeds is the time, e.g. three puffs = three o’clock. As a result, the dandelion stalks with their globes of seeds are regularly referred to as a “dandelion clocks” in colloquial English.

31

Lady Macbeth says this in Macbeth, act 2, scene 2.

32

Macbeth, act 1, scene 7: “If it were done when ’tis done, then ’twere well it were done quickly.”

33

“Granny glanced…” This is another misprint: it should be Nanny, not Granny. Terry says the error is not present in his own version of the text, but both the UK and USA paperbacks have it. Fixed.

34

A concept straight out of the Arthurian legends.

35

Venus Anadyomene is the classical image of Venus rising from the sea (from which she was born), accompanied by dolphins. The name is given to the famous lost painting by Apelles, as well as to the one by Botticelli in the Accademia delle Belle Arti in Florence.

36

Duke Felmet is echoing the words of Richard Nixon’s subordinates under questioning by the Senate Committee during the Watergate affair.

37

A Wizard of Oz reference.

38

My sources tell me that Black Annis is the name of a fearsome witch from Celtic/Saxon mythology.

39

Refers to the Cheshire cat in Lewis Carroll’s Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, a beast famous for slowly vanishing until only its grin remains.

40

Herne the Hunter is a spectral hunter of medieval legend, said to originally have been a keeper in Windsor Forest. Herne appears in many stories, varying from Shakespeare (who else) to the fairly recent ITV television series “Robin of Sherwood” (starring Jason “son of” Connery).

When alt.fan.pratchett readers mistakenly assumed that the reference originated from this series, Terry cautioned: “Be careful when reference spotting … Herne the Hunter certainly did turn up in the Robin of Sherwood series and on an album by “Let’s breathe romantically to music” group Clannad, but any passing pagan will tell you he goes back a lot, lot further than that.”

Herne the Hunter also appears himself in Lords and Ladies. Here is some relevant information condensed from the book The Western Way by John and Caitlin Matthews:

“Herne the Hunter / Cernunnos is God of green and growing things; huntsman, spirit of earth, birth and masculinity. Often pictured seated cross-legged with antlers on his brow, he is […] tutelary deity of many modern witch covens.”

41

This refers to the 1960 movie version of H. G. Wells’ The Time Machine, where the director uses the effect described to indicate the rapid passing of time.

42

Describes The Phantom of the Opera, another musical by Andrew Lloyd Webber. See also the annotations for Maskerade.

43

The protagonist in Oscar Wilde’s The Importance of Being Earnest was found, as a baby, in a handbag.

44

The clowns are the Marx Brothers. The third clown is Harpo, who never speaks, only honks (“business with bladder on a stick”). The short speech that follows, “This iss My Little Study …” is typical Groucho, and the “Atsa right, Boss” is Chico.

45

Laurel & Hardy. Laurel’s first name was Stan. See also the annotation for p. 73/65 of The Colour of Magic.

46

The famous Globe Theatre (which was octagonal in form!) was built by Cuthbert Barbage on the Bankside in Southwark (London) in 1599. Shakespeare had a share in the theatre and acted there.

The Globe was destroyed by fire, rebuilt, and eventually completely demolished in 1644. Currently, The Globe is being rebuilt again by an American entrepreneur on the South Bank, a few hundred yards from its original site.

47

As You Like It, act 2, scene 7: “All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely players: They have their exits and their entrances; […]”

48

I have resisted annotating this for 7 editions of the APF, but oh what the heck: Hwel is dreaming of Charlie Chaplin.

49

Dopey is one of the seven dwarfs in Walt Disney’s animated Snow White. Terry likes toying with Disney’s dwarf names. See for instance the annotation for p. 324/271 of Moving Pictures.

50

This is (in spirit) the St Crispin’s Day speech from King Henry V. See the annotation for p. 239/238

51

This is a sarcastic comment on the behaviour of most generic fantasy dwarfs, but of course the main image it invokes is of classic Tolkien characters like Thorin Oakenshield, etc.

52

The abbreviation GBH stands for Grievous Bodily Harm.

53

Puns on a well-known Shakespeare quote from Hamlet (act 2, scene 2):

If you have access to the Internet, you can find online versions of all of Shakespeare’s plays at the URL: http://shakespeare.mit.edu/

54

This can of course refer to a thousand different movies or plays. In view of the general influences for this book, however, I’d bet my money on Shakespeare’s The Tempest.

55

What follows is a parody on Macbeth, act 4, scene 1, in which three witches boil up some pretty disgusting things in their cauldron. Try reading both versions side by side.

56

The witches in Macbeth, act 4, scene 1: “Double, double toil and trouble; Fire, burn; and, cauldron, bubble.”

57

Taken from the famous “To be or not to be” soliloquy in Hamlet.

58

Hwel’s script is Richard III done as a Punch-and-Judy show.

59

Macbeth, act 2, scene 1 again.

60

Refers to Leonardo da Vinci, who also worked on (but didn’t succeed in building) a flying machine.

61

Shakespeare again: King Henry IV, part 2, act 3, scene 2:

“FALSTAFF: Old, old, Master Shallow. […] We have heard the chimes at midnight, Master Shallow.”

62

A Nanny Ogg variant on the saying “There’s many a slip ’tween the cup and the lip” (‘slip’ here meaning ‘petticoat’).

63

Sir Harold Wilson: “A week is a long time in politics”.

64

Parodies Samuel Beckett’s classic play Waiting for Godot, where similar dialogue occurs.

65

Stereotypical (but basically true) propaganda that radical vegetarians like to quote in order to gross people out and get them to stop eating meat (of course, the average vegetarian has about five pounds of undigested vegetable matter in his intestines). The cliché is used fairly often, amongst other places in the movie Beverly Hills Cop.

Terry had this to say on the subject: “Yep. That one I got from some way out vegetarian stuff I read years ago, and went round feeling ill about for days. And two years ago I saw Beverly Hills Cop on TV and rejoiced when I heard the line. God, I wish I’d seen the film before I’d written Guards! Guards! … I’d have had someone out on stake-duty on horseback, and someone creep up behind them with a banana …”

Note that in Men at Arms, the second City Watch book, Terry does manage to work in a Beverly Hills Cop joke. See the annotation for p. 251/190 of Men At Arms.

66

Macbeth, act 1, scene 2: “All hail, Macbeth; that shalt be king hereafter!”

67

Macbeth, act 3, scene 4:

Visible only to Macbeth the ghost of Banquo is sitting in his chair.

68

Macbeth, act 4, scene 1: “How now, you secret, black, and midnight hags!”

69

Neither did the three witches from Macbeth, if you read carefully, but I nevertheless think there is a reference here: act 1, scene 3.

70

One of Shakespeare’s more famous sonnets (Sonnet XVIII, to be precise) starts out:

71

A reference to Richard the Third. A rather appropriate reference: in Shakespeare’s Richard III, he is presented as an evil, lame, hunchbacked king, whom Henry must kill to save England. This is not historically correct—rather it is how Henry would have liked people to remember it. Had Shakespeare strayed from the ‘official’ version he would have found himself in deep trouble with Henry’s heirs—royalty was taken seriously in those days.

72

Hamlet, act 3, scene 2: “To hold, as ‘twere, the mirror up to nature; to show virtue her own feature, scorn her own image, and the very age and body of the time his form and pressure.”

73

One of the ingredients in Macbeth, act 4, scene 1 is a “finger of birth-strangled babe, ditch-delivered by a drabe”.

74

Death is quoting from ‘There’s No Business Like Show Business’, the song from the Irvin Berlin musical Annie Get Your Gun, also performed by Ethel Merman in the 1954 movie There’s No Business Like Show Business.

75

Lady Macbeth in Macbeth, act 5, scene 1: “Yet who would have thought the old man to have had so much blood in him”.

76

Macbeth, act 5, scene 5, from a another famous soliloquy:

77

Shakespeare’s Henry V was just such a king, and Terry is referring here to the ‘St Crispin’s Day’ speech in King Henry V, act 4, scene 3: