Alarm Call

Chapter 6

It was a beautiful summer morning, the kind you wish you could bottle. I did the next best thing: I filmed it on my camcorder, Susie playing on the grass with wee Jonathan, Janet on the electric quad bike that I’d found for her, and all the time, the sun glistening and sparkling on Loch Lomond below us. We had no trouble convincing ourselves that we were going to live there happily for the rest of our days.

Actually we’d made the place even bigger: for added privacy and security we’d acquired some commercially useless woodland and fields from the neighbouring estate. The extension included some virtually bottomless bogs, which I’d had capped with concrete, for safety’s sake. It all meant that we had so much land we’d bought a Mini to run around in … and because it’s a lovely piece of design. Susie and I do like our toys.

The morning was so idyllic that I had almost forgotten the call I was going to have to make. It took Susie to remind me of it.

‘Will Everett’s office be open yet?’ she asked, as we finished lunch, just after one o’clock. I knew that it would.

As its name implies, his is a global business, so the switchboard in the New York headquarters is manned from seven a.m. on. I nodded and went back to the office.

I didn’t expect him to be there: the GWA wrestlers are on the road a lot, and Everett, although he controls and runs the business, is still on the active list, so, after I had told her who I was, I simply asked his receptionist where he could be found. ‘Right here, Mr Blackstone,’ she replied. ‘I’ll put you through.’

I braced myself. A few seconds later, the big drawly voice was on the line. ‘Oz, my man! This is an honour and a surprise. You found the time to call me.’

‘What have I done?’ I asked him, my voice all innocence. ‘What’s upset you?’

‘You have to ask me? You blew me out, man. You turned me down flat and you didn’t even have the stones to do it yourself: got your Mr Smooth from LA to do it instead.’

‘What the hell are you talking about?’

‘My proposition. You turned me down, Oz. I can’t believe it.’

Oh, shit.

‘What proposition?’

‘You mean Mr Roscoe Goddamn Brown didn’t even tell you about it? Well, I’ll tell you something now, I am going to pay a call on that mother when I’m on the west coast next week and he will not enjoy it.’

‘Now hold on there. Before you go off and commit homicide, or agenticide at least, this wasn’t Roscoe’s fault. Blame me, if you’re going to blame anyone. Yes, he recommended that I decline whatever it is, but it was at the end of a very positive session on other things and I wanted to demonstrate my complete trust in him. So I told him that he didn’t have to go through the details with me. I’m sorry, it was my mistake. Do you want to tell me about it now, or are you so deep in the huff that it’s off the table?’

‘If I do will you listen to me politely then turn me down again?’

‘That depends on what it is and on the time frame. In three months’ time, I’m pretty much committed through to next summer.’

‘This would work, in that case.’

‘Go on then.’

‘Oz, I’m diversifying.’

‘You’re starting a dance troupe?’

‘Hey, wouldn’t that be something? Imagine Jerry Gradi in a tutu.’

‘It worked for J. Edgar Hoover.’

He chuckled. ‘Maybe, but not for the GWA. No, I’m going into the movie business. I have a project all set up as a vehicle for Liam Matthews, Jerry and a new girl we’ve got on board. It’s written, the director’s in place and we’re all ready to start shooting. There’s only one thing left to do. I have a cameo role that I need to fill, the bad guy. It’s perfect for you and I want you to do it. I’d only need you for a couple of weeks.’

‘That’s what you put to Roscoe?’

‘Yup.’

‘How much did you offer him?’

‘A million dollars.’

‘Everett, my next three movies will earn me over twenty million euros.’

If I’d had wax in my ear, the big man’s whistle would have blown it right out. ‘Jeez,’ he exclaimed, ‘I didn’t realise you were in that bracket. No wonder your guy turned me down.’

‘There might be more to it than that. You’re a newcomer to the business, and he doesn’t know you like I do.’

‘I’ve got someone else in place for the part,’ he said, perking up again, ‘but nothing’s signed yet. It’s still yours if you want it. Maybe I could squeeze some more money out of the pot.’

‘Friend, I’d do it for free,’ I told him, meaning every word, ‘but I’ve got Roscoe to consider. He earns his cut, and twenty per cent of nothing doesn’t amount to much more than that. I’ll tell you what. E-mail me the script today, and I’ll take a quick look at it. What is it, anyway? I assume that with Liam and Jerry in the lead, it’s not a remake of Pride and Prejudice.’

‘Hell, no! It’s an action thriller called Serious Impact, based on a novel by a hot young writer. It’s set mostly in Las Vegas. I’ll have someone send it to you right away.’

‘Do that. I’ll be speaking to Roscoe later today: I’ll talk it through with him, I promise.’ I paused, turning a thought over in my mind. ‘Two weeks in Vegas, eh? When?’

‘We’d need you the week after next. I’ll book you the best suite in the Mandalay Bay, or the Bellagio, if you’d prefer to be in the heart of the Strip.’

‘Okay, okay, you can ease off the arm lock now: I’ll get back to you.’ I put the phone back in the cradle.

‘What was that about Las Vegas?’ Susie asked.

‘Everett fancies himself as a movie producer.’

‘Are you going to do it?’

‘That depends. Do you fancy it?’

‘Not one bit. I’ve been to Vegas, at a convention with my dad when he was Lord Provost of Glasgow. It’s not a place for kids, especially not in the summer: it’s in the middle of a desert and it’s ferociously hot.’

‘We could leave the kids with Ethel,’ I suggested tentatively.

The look she shot me was eloquent. It said, ‘You’re a self-indulgent bastard and a bad parent.’

‘Okay, I’ll turn it down.’

‘No, I didn’t mean that. It’s your career, and Everett’s your friend.’

‘And you’re my family and I promised you three months. That’s more important.’

‘How much money is he offering?’

When I told her, I thought she would explode. ‘Are we so bloody wealthy that you can afford to turn down a million dollars for two weeks’ not very hard work?’

‘As a matter of fact, we are.’

‘Like hell we are! Nobody is.’

‘Okay, once I’ve seen the script. . Audrey, when an e-mail arrives from someone in the GWA, print out the attachment, please. . I’ll talk to Roscoe about it. But I’m not inclined to go without you and the kids.’

Susie glanced at her watch. ‘We can continue this later, Sir Galahad,’ she said, ‘but first you’ve got a plane to meet.’