Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine. Vol. 1, No. 1, May 1967 (UK)

Keeper of the Crypt by Clark Howard

It is a matter of record that an habitual corpse-gazer, should he indulge overlong, may very well experience hallucinations of reincarnation.

Finch moved like a specter across the cemetery, his footfalls cushioned in silence by the thick turf of the grounds. His thin body, stooped and grey, blended almost invisibly into the light morning fog that still hovered eerily around the tombstones. At the edge of clearing where the crypt stood, Finch stopped and peered through the haze. A clean-cut young man, dressed in a tan chauffeur’s uniform, was working on the crypt door. Finch stood quietly for a moment, admiring the young man’s shiny leather boots, the knifelike creases of his coat sleeves, the easy, confident movements of his gloved hands as he slid the barrel of a small oil can from one hinge to another, lubricating metal that had not moved in nine years.

Lucky you are, Gerald Stander, Finch thought; a good clean job with uniform provided; a fine car to drive and polish; handsome face to get you that fleshly little wife of yours; even a furnished house on the grounds of the manor to keep her in. Aye, lucky you are, all right; luckier than me, down here in the fog and nobody but the dead for company. Living in that ugly caretaker’s cottage, talking to myself of late.

But never mind, he thought. He looked beyond the crypt to the nearest tombstone at the edge of the clearing. That was where his tunnel ended. It wouldn’t be long now.

The young man, Gerald Stander, turned toward him and Finch immediately started walking on to the clearing, lest Gerald suspect he had been watching and wondering.

“Good morning, Finch,” young Stander greeted him.

“I thought I’d find you here,” Finch said without preliminary. He walked up to the crypt and looked at the heavy metal hinges with their dry rust thirstily drinking in the fresh oil. “So his lordship, the Earl of Sheel, is finally dead, eh?”

“Aye,” said Stander, “he is that.”

“Well, bloody few’ll miss the arrogant old devil,” Finch observed. “How did it happen?”

“The epilepsy got him. Late in the night it was Strangled on his own tongue.”

“Vile tongue it was, too,” Finch muttered. He walked with Stander back to the steel-grey limousine that belonged to Murfee Manor. Some of the fog had blown away now and Finch could look up and see the great house high atop a hill. “When’ll they be bringing him down?” he asked.

“This afternoon, I expect. There are no heirs left, not even distant, you know. The family solicitor’s coming from London with the key to the crypt. He’ll keep the services fairly simple, I expect.”

“Close the crypt back up tonight, will they?” Finch asked casually.

“Got to,” said the young chauffeur. “They that ain’t embalmed have to be sealed in an airtight crypt within twenty-four hours.” Stander looked curiously at Finch. “You ought to know that, old man, being the gravetender. It’s the law, ain’t it?”

“Yes, yes, so it is,” said Finch. “I’d forgot.” He turned and looked back at the crypt, rubbing his jaw thoughtfully. “How many of the family’s in there now, would you know?”

“There’s five, I’m told. The eldest son, who killed himself; the Earl’s brother, who was a bit odd and never married; Lady Murfee, who drank herself to death; and the daughter and a younger son who died together in a speeding auto crash.”

“So the old man’ll make it an even half dozen,” Finch observed.

“Aye, and that’ll close the crypt for good.”

“Yes,” Finch said softly, “yes, it will.” He took a deep breath of the chill morning air. “Well, I’d best be getting back to my cottage. I’ve things to tend to.”

Gerald Stander watched the stooped gravetender walk out of the clearing. Dull, stupid fool, the young chauffeur thought. Just because he lives down here all alone, he has to skulk around like a ghost. I’d give a lot to be in his place, I would. Get out of these stiff clothes, away from that harping wife of mine. Have a nice little house out here away from it all, place to bring that little barmaid from the pub. Ah well, it won’t be long now. Soon as they get his lordship stretched out in that crypt. I’ll rid myself of this place once and for all, I will.

The solicitor, a tall, stuffy man with an uneven moustache, had an obvious distaste for cemeteries in general and cemetery crypts in particular. With his briefcase in one hand an ornate jewel box under one arm, he stood by the open steel door that afternoon and watched, dutifully if impatiently, as six hired pallbearers carried into the crypt the coffin containing Tyron Murfee, last Earl of Sheel.

With the solicitor stood the Earl’s doctor, a Lloyd’s of London representative, and the manager of the Evanshire branch of the Dover Bank, in which the Murfee estate was entrusted. Gathered behind that esteemed group, at a respectable distance, were the assorted servants, groundskeepers, stable-hands, and other domestics and manor help, numbering sixteen, and including in their forefront, Gerald Stander, appropriately dressed in his dark-grey chauffeur’s uniform.

Off to one side, alone, stood Finch.

When the coffin had been set upon its bier and the hired pallbearers discharged, the solicitor summonded into the crypt all those remaining. The group filed inside and gathered round the bier in solemn obedience. All eyes, naturally curious, lingered for a moment on the five airtight caskets resting in a precise row on other biers along one wall. A common shudder tickled the collective spines of the watchers at being, so close to so much death.

The solicitor took his place next to the coffin. He cleared his throat, loudly but rather reluctantly, for he was certain the air in the musty little structure was surely unfit.

“A preamble to the Earl of Sheel’s last will and testament,” the solicitor announced, “directs that the document be opened and read here, in the final resting place of his beloved deceased family.”

“Beloved, indeed,” one of the servants whispered knowingly. “He drove ’em all to this very crypt.”

“Representatives of the Earl’s bank and insurance carrier are present,” the solicitor continued, “as is the doctor who last attended the Earl. Mr. Finch represents the cemetery on which the crypt stands and will certify to the sealing of the door when this ceremony concludes.”

The solicitor hesitated for a moment, unconsciously wetting his lips; then, realizing what he was doing, hastily withdrew his tongue lest the tainted air reach it.

“There are two more parts to the preamble,” he said distastefully. Opening the ornate jewel box, which he had placed on the bier edge, he showed its contents to all present. “As has been customary in the Earl’s family for many years, the personal jewellery of departed members is laid to rest with the deceased. In the Earl’s case, he being the last of the line, this will consist of all the remaining rings, signets, coat of arms, and other standards of the House of Sheel. They are all contained here in this box, as has been certified by the gentleman from Lloyd’s. I ask you now to witness their deposit in the coffin.”

The solicitor extracted from his pocket a pair of suede gloves which he pulled on to his hands. He grasped the edge of the coffin lid and exerted pressure to raise it. The lid gave an inch, then stuck. The solicitor grunted, straining vainly at the jammed cover.

“Let me help you sir,” said Gerald Stander, stepping forward smartly. He forced the lid up the rest of the way.

“Thank you,” the solicitor said, panting slightly. He straightened and looked down at Sir Tyron Murfee. The Lloyd’s and Dover Bank representatives strained their necks to see in death the man they had never seen in life; and when they did see, their eyes widened in surprise at the sheer bulk of the man, for the Earl of Sheel weighed nineteen stone — better than two hundred sixty-five pounds.

“Hefty bloke, what?” whispered the Lloyd’s of London man. “Ever see such a belly?”

“That’s the rich for you,” the Dover Bank man said back, “always eating like hogs. The solicitor’s got his work cut out for him, finding any room for them jewels.”

The solicitor commenced distributing the various jewelled articles into the coffin; a ring here, a pendant there, the coat of arms, another ring, singnet clasps, a few unmounted stones, more rings. When the jewel box was empty, he put it aside and directed his attention to Finch.

“The last part of the preamble requests that the Earl’s coffin be left open, since he is the last of the line, and following his interment the crypt is to be sealed forever. As cemetery representative, Mr. Finch, do you have any objection to such a procedure?”

“None, sir,” said Finch, “so long as the crypt itself is safely sealed.”

“Very well,” said the solicitor. “All conditions having been duly complied with, we may proceed with the distribution of the estate.”

Opening his briefcase, the solicitor removed the will and broke its seal. It was a surprisingly uncomplicated document. The stable-hands received fifty pounds each, the groom a hundred. Groundskeepers were given fifty, the gardener one hundred, domestics fifty, the cook a hundred, and so on. Gerald Stander, who had been chauffeur to the Earl for some six years, received a compromise amount — seventy-five pounds. That was sweet of you, old boy, Gerald thought. Give me first class fare to Paris, it will, away from that nagging nag of a wife of mine.

The bulk of the estate, four hundred thousand pounds plus Murfee Manor, went to the Foundation for the Study and Cure of Epilepsy, the Earl having been plagued all of his adult life by that disease. The Lloyd’s of London man was instructed to pay the Earl’s insurance to the Dover Bank man, who in turn was to distribute the legacies accordingly.

“The will directs that a final medical examination be made on the Earl before the crypt is sealed,” said the solicitor. “Doctor, if you please.”

The doctor stepped up to the bier with a stethoscope and listended to the Earl’s chest. Next, he placed a thumb and forefinger on the wrist. Lastly, he held for several seconds a small mirror before the slightly parted lips.

“I detect no heartbeat or pulse.” he declared, “and no breath clouds on the mirror. Again I pronounce Tyron Murfee, the Earl of Sheel, to be dead.”

“I think that concludes the formalities,” said the solicitor. “If you will all step back outside now and witness the sealing of the crypt—”

With the Lloyd’s man and the Dover Bank man and Finch and the servants all gathered round, the solicitor, his briefcase in one hand and the now empty jewel box under his arm, used a shoulder to push the great crypt door closed. Juggling the briefcase, jewel case and his gloves, he fumbled with the bulky crypt key, almost dropping it, and then Gerald Stander stepped smartly forward again.

“I’ll get it for you sir,” he said with a smile. He took the heavy key from the solicitor s hand, inserted it into the lock and twisted it completely around. There was a sharp click as the tumblers engaged Stander removed the key and stood close to the door, putting all his weight on the lock handle to test it. The handle held firm. Stander straightened, squared his shoulders in satisfaction and turned back to the solicitor.

“Thank you,” said the solicitor, taking the key Gerald held out and putting it into his briefcase. He turned to Finch. “You’ll certify that the crypt is once more sealed, Mr. Finch, as it was requested?”

Finch tested the lock. “Aye,” he said, “sealed it is.”

“Very well. These proceedings are hereby ended. Thank you all for your attendance.”

The gathering began to disperse. Finch lingered with Gerald Stander for a moment near the crypt door, filling his pipe while he unobtrusively eavesdropped on the solicitor and the doctor.

“What was all that business of a final medical examination?” Finch heard the solicitor ask the doctor.

“Precaution, I imagine,” said the doctor. “The old boy had epilepsy for years, you know. Somewhere he got wind of an Old Wives’ Tale about the seizures sometimes leaving people in a catatonic state where they appear dead, but aren’t. The saying goes that after twelve or fifteen hours the body comes out of it, fully alive again. Naturally, hearing a story like that makes some epileptics fearful of premature burial.”

“Yes, well. I shouldn’t wonder,” said the solicitor. He glanced back at the crypt door. “You, ah — you’re absolutely certain in this case, are you?”

“Now, see here, counsellor,” the doctor said, slightly miffed, “how’d you like it if I questioned the legality of the will?”

“Yes, I see your point,” said the solicitor. “My apologies. Well, I must be off if I’m to make the last train to London.”

“Be happy to drive you, sir,” Gerald Stander offered. “Got the Manor car right here.”

“Good of you,” said the solicitor.

Finch watched them go. When they were beyond sight, he hurried anxiously toward his cottage — toward his tunnel.

The passageway, leading from beneath the cemetery cottage to a point directly under the Murfee crypt, was exactly large enough in circumference to enable Finch to crawl on his hands and knees the entire distance. Finch had dug out the last eight feet of it that very afternoon, finishing minutes before the Earl’s coffin was brought down from Murfee Manor. It was a compact, well-constructed tunnel, shored up on both sides and above by sturdy slabs of rough wood, of the same type used to wall up open graves on rainy days. Even the weight of a hearse on the ground above would not disturb the tunnel

An hour after the crypt had been closed, Finch sat at an old wooden table in his shabby little cottage, drinking a large glass of whiskey and contemplating the open hole in the floor before him, the entrance to his tunnel which had taken him a year to excavate. He shuddered at the thought of all that had gone into that tunnel or, more gruesome yet, all that had come out of it. Working underground in the muck and mire was bad enough, but when the muck and mire contained the remains of—

Finch shuddered again and gulped down his whiskey. No matter, he thought. It’s all over now, all but the collecting. He stood up and looked at his pocket watch. The solicitor would be boarding the train just about now. In another half hour the cemetery would be dark. Might as well get on with it.

The stooped, grey cemetery keeper slung a hand shovel and crowbar across his back, looped a battery lantern around his neck, and lowered himself into the hole. Reaching out behind him, he removed a wooden brace and carefully let drop into place a cut-out slab of the brick floor to conceal his passageway. Finch rarely had visitors, but tonight was not the night to take unnecessary risks. With the slab in place, the hole would be undetectable.

The tunnel, as usual, was damp and clammy; but on this, the beginning of his last trip through it, Finch did not mind the wetness that crept up through his trouser knees, nor the sharp rocks he occasionally jabbed his hand against, nor even the putrid odour he invariably encountered midway in his journey; for tonight — tonight was the time he had dreamed about all the lonely, barren moments of his life. Tonight was the time of rebirth.

He crawled, the shovel and crowbar rubbing heavily on his shoulderblades. He crawled, the shifting strap of the lantern burning his neck raw. He crawled, the dampness biting painfully into his arthritic bones; the thick smell of stale death abusing his nostrils; the closeness of the tunnel trying his lungs. He crawled and crawled and crawled.

And at last, chopping upward almost frantically with the shovel, cutting away the last three feet of soil in one corner of the floor, he broke into the crypt of Tyron Murfee, the last Earl of Sheel.

Panting, Finch dragged himself out of the hole and leaned against the wall. He flashed his light along the bricks until it showed him an oil beacon, still partly filled from the funeral that afternoon. He snapped a wooden match and touched the wick. Flickering light spread slowly across the crypt and Finch turned off his lantern. Quietly he surveyed the room of the dead in which he stood. A cold, rough shiver jerked his body in a brief spasm, like an icy chain had been dragged up his spine. He swallowed dryly. Best not think about the dead, he told himself. Think about the living; think about yourself, man.

Finch leaned the crowbar against one of the closed coffins and went over to where the Earl lay in the open coffin. He began collecting the jewels scattered around earlier by the solicitor, delicately pinching them out one by one with thumb and forefinger, putting them into his coat pocket, silently counting the pieces as he went along.

Suddenly his blood turned cold and he stiffened in terror — as a sharp click told him that someone was unlocking the crypt.

The lock handle was slowly being lifted. Finch finally recovered his senses sufficiently to step quickly away from the bier and fade back into the shadows. An instant later, Gerald Stander entered and pushed the heavy door closed behind him. The young chauffeur paused, startled by the burning light in the crypt. Then, apparently deciding that it had been left on from the afternoon’s gathering, he merely shrugged and moved quickly to the open casket to do his obvious work, collecting the jewels Finch had not had time to gather.

Finch, watching him, became incensed. He moved back into the light, his ashen face white with outrage.

“Stop there, you dirty grave-robber!” he called out, impervious for the moment to his own like status.

Stander, hearing the condemning, self-righteous voice, all but fainted. He stumbled back from the bier in near panic, barely retaining his balance.

“How’d you get that door open?” Finch demanded to know.

“I... it... the key—” Stander babbled.

Finch’s brow wrinkled. “The key?”

Stander squinted his eyes, staring at the old man. “Yes, the key. I... I switched keys after I locked the door. I... I gave the solicitor another key.”

“Do you mean to say,” Finch’s voice rose in shocked indignation, “that I worked for a year tunneling in here from my house, and you... you found a way in by just stealing the key!”

“You dug your way in here?” Stander said incredulously. The young chauffeur, quickly regaining his composure, glanced around and saw the hand shovel stuck in the ground next to Finch’s tunnel exit. “You dug all the way from your house? Through all those — all those graves? How could you do it?”

Suddenly the whole picture of Finch’s indignation unfolded in Stander’s mind, and the younger man threw back his head and roared with laughter.

“You fool,” he said to Finch, “you poor, stupid old fool! I accomplished in two or three seconds what it took you a whole year to do. No wonder you tend graves; you’ve not enough sense to be allowed among the living!”

Finch’s face contorted in rage. He closed his fists and hurled himself toward Stander, lashing out with a blow that fell flush on the younger man’s mouth and sent him reeling back against the open coffin.

“You dirty old tramp,” Stander snarled, reaching up to touch a warm trickle of blood bubbling from the corner of his mouth. “I’ll kill you for that!”

Finch backed off in suddenly born fear as the chauffeur charged him. He stumbled back across the crypt as the full weight of Stander’s body lunged into him. His back bent over one of the closed coffins as Stander’s strong young hands closed around his throat and began to choke the consciousness from his brain. All the strength drained from the old gravetender’s frail arms; they dropped limply alongside the coffin, and Finch, was certain at that moment that he was going to die.

Then one hand touched the cold steel of the crowbar he had left there, and desperate new strength sparked to life.

Finch curled his fingers around the bar, raised it high, and slammed its edge against Stander’s temple. The chauffeur grasped his head in pain, stumbling backward. Finch struck him another blow, this one on the crown of the head. Stander pitched forward, brushing past Finch, tumbling face down across the casket lid. His body slid over the smooth brass lid and fell limply behind the casket. He lay motionless.

Finch got his lantern and peered over the casket, holding the bar raised for a third blow. The light fell on an open mouth and a pair of fixed eyes staring up sightlessly from the shadow, the eyes of a dead man.

Finch stepped back, sighing heavily. Putting down the crowbar and lantern, he gently rubbed his sore neck, remembering the strength of Stander’s fingers. Bloody fool nearly had me, he did. Finch looked around the gloomy crypt, swallowing down a dry throat. I’ll just take what’s in the Earl’s coffin, he though nervously, I’ll not try to open the others.

He went shakily back to the bier holding the coffin of Tyron Murfee. Quickly he resumed his pilfering, snatching a ring here, a pendant there, a gold signet, a silver watch.

A Sheel coat of arms, mounted in a jewelled medallion, lay nearly hidden next to the casket lining near the Earl’s left shoulder. Finch spotted it and started to reach across for it. His hand stopped midway over the great chest of Tyron Murfee and he stared down at the face of the Earl.

His eyes are open, Finch thought, confusion and fear tickling through him. Had they been open before? He tried to remember. Yes, of course, they had. No, wait. Stander’s eyes were open; Stander, lying dead behind the other coffin; but the Earl — hadn’t his eyes been closed?

Cold sweat burst out on the back of Finch’s neck. His hand, still poised over the coffin, began to tremble. What was it that doctor had said about the epilepsy making people seem dead?

Finch jerked his hand from over the coffin and backed away. I’ve got enough, he decided quickly, feeling the small bulge of jewels in his coat pocket. I’d best get out of this place while I’ve still my senses.

Hurriedly, he got the lantern and switched it on. With a handful of loose dirt, he extinguished the oil beacon. He gathered his crowbar and shovel and dropped them into the tunnel hole. Then, as he was about to step into the hole himself, he paused as a sudden thought came over him.

The door! Stander had unlocked the door! There was no need to use the tunnel at all, he could go out the door.

No, wait now, he thought, what if I’m seen by someone? Not likely, to be sure, but still there’s them in town that over-curious at times, and someone might’ve wandered down just to be looking. Better to use a bit of caution, even if it does mean crawling through that blasted tunnel again. That door, though, that’s a rub; can’t chance leaving it unlocked.

Finch hurried over and searched the body of Gerald Stander until he found the crypt key. He started for the door, the lantern beam bobbing up and down as he walked. Halfway across, the light fell upon Tyron Murfee’s coffin and Finch noticed with a start that the Earl’s eyes were closed. Now, they were open before, weren’t they? He thought frantically. Or is it Stander’s eyes I thinking of? Wait now, Stander’s eyes were open and the Earl’s closed; yes, that’s it. I’ll go daft if I don’t get out of here soon!

At the door, Finch turned off the lantern and put it down. He opened the heavy vault door an inch and peered out. A full moon cast an eerie silver glow over the cemetery. Finch listened for a moment, hearing nothing. Quietly he opened the door just far enough to reach out and slowly lower the locking handle until it was in its closed position. That done, he reached out with the key, slipped it into the lock and turned the holding tumblers into place. There now, he thought, if the door will crypt’ll be sealed tight again.

Finch leaned his weight against the door. It snapped solidly into place and held firmly.

And that, Finch thought, takes care of any evidence. With the key inside, the crypt of Sheel will never again be opened.

Picking up his lantern, Finch switched it on again and started back for his tunnel. He could not help thinking about Tyron Murfee’s eyes. Were they open or closed? As he passed the coffin, he deliberately flashed the beam of light on it, then tried to steady it.

Finch froze in terror, his blood turning icy, his palms and the bottoms of his feet and the inside of his mouth drawing up in tight, cold panic. The coffin of Tyron Murfee, the last Earl of Sheel, was empty!

“No,” Finch muttered in a quivering whisper, “no, no, no—”

The lantern slipped from his hand; its beam of light flashed and whirled about the crypt as it bounced and tumbled from coffin edge to ier to the ground, finally landing upright between Finch and the tunnel. When it was still, the lantern cast its light straight again, shining brightly on the tunnel hole — now the only way out of the crypt.

And in the hole, twisting and writhing, his face contorted in epileptic madness, was Tyron Murfee, his huge bulk hopelessly stuck in the hole.

Finch, still holding the useless key in one hand, screamed.

Outside the crypt, silence reigned over the cemetery and all in its domain were of the dead.