Clobbered by Camembert

CHAPTER

“Aunt Charlotte, I’m ready!” Amy hurtled down the stairs of my two-story Victorian, her eyes frisky with excitement.

She and her sister, Clair, weren’t actually my nieces. Their father was my cousin, so the girls were first cousins once removed, but I could never bring myself to call them that. Matthew and I settled on using the terms niece and aunt the day the twins were born.

“Oops.” Amy nearly missed the last step. She hit the floor and skated on one foot toward me, while I was struggling to put a leash on Rocket, the Briard pup that the twins’ mother, Sylvie, had so sweetly dumped on my doorstep … and on me. Looping the choke chain over the dog’s overly active head was always a challenge. The dog barked as a warning.

“Sorry,” Amy said.

“Keep your head steady, pup,” I added.

Rags, my Ragdoll cat, scooted into the foyer, batting an empty box of Camembert like a hockey puck. He sailed it into the dog. Rocket leapt backward and barked again. Rags hissed. Rocket hunkered down and growled. I grinned. I had a house full of kids and none but the cat were mine.

“Sit, Rocket!” I ordered, though I had to admit I didn’t sound very tough. Rocket didn’t mind me. I said, “Sit!” more sternly. Rags, the rascal, did a victory cha-cha then scooted away. “C’mon, Rocket. Sit or you don’t get your evening walk.” Begrudgingly he obeyed. I slipped on the leash.

“How do I look?” Amy tugged the hem of her blue and yellow polka-dot sweater over the hips of her Capri pants then fluffed her blunt brown hair.

“Cute.” I zipped up my parka and snugged my gold filigree scarf around my neck. “But why the fuss? It’s just rehearsal.”

The twins and ten other girls their age had been selected to sing in this year’s Winter Wonderland chorale. A recital “hall” tent stood in the middle of the Village Green, near the town’s wishing well and clock tower. The songfest would be the highlight of Saturday evening’s festivities.

Amy’s mouth quirked to a smile. “Because.”

“She likes a boy,” Clair said from the landing. “He’s going to be at the Winter Wonderland faire.” She tucked a book under her arm and took the stairs cautiously as she always did, but once she hit the hardwood floor in the foyer, she became as animated as her sister. She poofed her bangs and plucked lint off her floral sweater.

“Who is the boy?” I tilted my head.

“Thomas Taylor,” Clair blurted.

Amy thwacked her. “I told you not to tell.”

“You said don’t tell Dad,” Clair said with pixielike glee then adjusted her mini ponytail. “You didn’t say I couldn’t tell Aunt Charlotte.”

“Does Thomas know?” I asked, surprised that Amy was the one who liked him. He was a shy boy and seemed better suited to Clair.

Amy shook her head. “Boys are dense.”

“Why will he be at the faire?” I asked. “It’s not officially open yet.”

“His father is carving one of the ice sculptures. It’s the one of a horse with a knight on it.”

The sculpture I had admired, which shocked me. I didn’t think that Tyanne’s soon-to-be ex-husband had an ounce of creativity in his bones. “Well, you look very nice, and Thomas would be a dolt not to flirt with you.”

“She calls him Tommy,” Clair taunted.

Amy blushed. “C’mon, Clair. Daddy’s waiting in the car.” She yanked her sister by the elbow.

“Hold it. Don’t forget your jackets and your dinners.” I retrieved two brown paper sacks from the bench by the front door, each bag marked with a name.

“Grilled cheese like you promised?” Amy grabbed a blue jacket off the coat rack.

I nodded. “Yours has sliced cornichon pickles, Swiss, and prosciutto.” I focused on Clair, who was shrugging into her aqua green jacket. “And yours is made with salami, Redwood Hill goat cheese, and homemade gluten-free bread.” I had landed on a great gluten-free bread recipe that, once baked and sliced, lasted in the freezer. “I’ve wrapped them in foil so they should stay warm,” I added, though I didn’t think it would really matter. The girls liked cold pizza.

The pair whistled their thanks and whizzed out the door. Amy yelled, “Bye. Have fun at yoga class after your walk!”

“Let’s go, boy.” I picked up Rocket’s leash and gave a gentle yank.

Rags zipped into the foyer at a clip and yowled like an alley cat: Take me, me, me. Up until a few months ago, he had been an indoor cat because of an attack when he was younger, but his agoraphobia disappeared whenever he walked alongside Rocket. However misguided, I think he believed the dog would defend him against another assault.

“You don’t deserve a walk,” I teased, “but all right.” I slipped a jewel-studded leash around his furry neck, stroked his mismatched ears, and the three of us headed into the cold, moonless night.

Yesterday’s snow was now nothing more than a mixture of glistening ice and slush, highlighted by the glow of streetlamps. As we drew near to Lois’s Lavender and Lace, the bed-and-breakfast next to my house, I was surprised to see Barton Burrell, a local cattle farmer, on a ladder. Not only was the hour well beyond dusk, but Lois’s husband, whom I had dubbed The Cube due to his square shape, usually did the chores around the inn. Barton hammered nails into a wobbly flat of white lattice that abutted the wall. Sweat dripped off his oversized nose. I called out a hello, but he didn’t respond.

The screen door of the bed-and-breakfast squeaked open, and Lois, looking so frail that the wind might blow her over, shuffled out to the porch carrying a tray. Her fluffball of a Shih Tzu, Agatha, traipsed beside her and gave a yelp. Lois spotted me. “Hello, Charlotte. Have time for a cup of tea?” She set the tray on a wicker table.

“I don’t want to intrude,” I said. Most nights, Lois and her husband drank tea outside and watched passersby. Weather never thwarted the ritual.

“You’re not intruding, dear.” Lois beckoned me with spindly fingers. “Ainsley is at a hockey game, don’t you know. Got him the tickets myself.”

I headed up the path with my four-legged buddies, who were content to go wherever I did. As I neared, I smelled the lovely aroma of nutmeg-laced scones, and my mouth started to water. “Yum,” I said.

Lois beamed. She made heavenly scones in assorted flavors. She bent to greet my pals. “Hello, sweet things. I have home-baked treats for you, too.” She hustled inside and returned with a large bone-shaped dog biscuit and a handful of bite-sized tuna morsels. Rags and Rocket set to work.

“Mr. Burrell,” Lois called. “Time for a break, young man.”

Barton descended the ladder and tramped up the steps to the porch. He looked leaner and shaggier than when I’d seen him last, and he had grown a mustache, but he also appeared less sure of himself, as if something was bothering him. A pang of concern shot through me because Barton, who moonlighted as one of Providence’s local theater stars, was usually a ham and full of bravado. He had been known to stand on a street corner and spout poetry or lines from Shakespeare’s plays. Was he suffering a financial crisis? Was that why he was working for Lois? Perhaps Kaitlyn Clydesdale was in negotiations to buy his property. His cattle farm abutted Quail Ridge Honeybee Farm.

Lois poured Barton a cup of tea from a Haviland moss rose china teapot. She added a lump of sugar and offered it to him.

Barton blew on the tea, then drank two sips and whispered, “Thanks.”

“Aren’t you going to say hello to Charlotte?” Lois said.

“Nice to see you,” he muttered. Air no longer hissed through the gap in his front teeth; he’d had the gap fixed last year. But that wasn’t what disconcerted me. Something in his gaze made me think he was upset with me.

As he retreated to the ladder, I wondered if he was embarrassed to be seen taking on extra work.

Lois said, “Let’s go inside. It’s brisk. Do you think the puppy and cat can stay out here with Agatha?” She shuffled ahead of me and held the door open with her leg.

“It would be better if they could nestle in the foyer, just inside the doorway. Rocket is so young, he might bolt otherwise.”

“Sure, sure.”

I led Rocket and Rags into the entry and commanded them to sit. They did. Agatha marched in front of them like a sentry, daring them to make a move, which probably had something to do with their near-perfect behavior.

A warm wave of heat swirled around me as I followed Lois into the great room. The temperature was too hot for my taste, but the bed-and-breakfast was successful, so Lois probably knew what her guests enjoyed. The room reminded me of a hunting lodge, its walls packed with sports memorabilia as well as winter sports equipment. In the spring, the snowshoes, skis, hockey sticks, commemorative pucks, and slalom flags would come down and be replaced with garlands of flowers and glorious pictures of Holmes County. Lois prided herself on decorating according to the season. She said it made her guests’ stay that much more unique.

A fire crackled in the stone hearth. I settled in one of the many wingbacked chairs in the cozy room and inhaled deeply. Lois must have laced the wood with sticks of cinnamon, which burned like incense and imbued the room with a spicy scent.

Lois adjusted the eye patch over her weak eye—she had recently decided that handmade decorative patches were the rage—then she nestled into the chair opposite me and placed a lavender crocheted throw that matched her lavender warm-up suit over her knees. “Ainsley,” she said, referring to her husband as if we hadn’t had a break in conversation. “He adores his hockey, don’t you know. He was a player, back when. An ace shot. I’m thinking of having his game stick bronzed for his next birthday, but, hush, don’t tell him.” She pointed to a hockey stick with three red stripes on the handle that was hanging on the wall. “I love surprises.”

“So do I,” a man said from the hallway.

Not her husband. Chip.

He emerged in the archway, and I groaned. How did I not sense he was staying right next door to me? He swaggered into the room, his randy gaze drinking me in.

Why did it take all my mettle to look away? Dang.

“Ahhh,” he said, eyeing the display on the wall. “Remember the first hockey game you ever attended, Charlotte? Slap shot!” He mimed a powerful shot, raising his arms behind him and following through with flair.

How could I forget? The team had won because Chip had made three goals—a hat trick. The high school crowd went wild. Girls had thrown themselves at him, but he had sneaked off with me—his science lab partner—in his Mustang. Talk about chemistry! The next day we went for a hayride, with church bells clanging in the background. He said there was nothing more fun in life, and at the time, he had been right.

“Remember?” he repeated.

Oh, yeah, I remembered. He was my first kiss. We had necked for two hours. I wondered if Rebecca was enjoying her first kiss right about now.

“Time flies, doesn’t it?” Chip glanced at his watch. “Speaking of time, I’m off to the Village Green to watch the ice sculpting. Want to join me?”

“I’ll pass.”

“You don’t know what you’re missing.”

But I do. I did. I had. I wouldn’t make the same mistake twice.

He strutted out the front door and stopped in the foyer to give my pets a good nuzzle—the traitors yipped and purred their delight—then Chip exited and jogged down the steps laughing.

As his laughter faded, Lois said, “Have you heard about Kaitlyn Clydesdale’s plans to start a new honeybee farm?”

Was that why she’d asked me in for tea? To ply me for gossip? I said, “Only rumors.”

“Well, it’s a shame, you ask me. That sweet Ipo Ho and his Quail Ridge Honeybee Farm won’t be able to compete.”

“Why not?”

“First off, Kaitlyn will update everything. Then she’ll produce twice as much honey at half the price. I’ve heard that’s what she does.”

Not following, I said, “She owns other honeybee farms?”

“And cattle farms, goat farms, wineries, and more.” Lois bobbed her head in rhythm. “I overheard her talking when she was staying here. She loves to update everything. She hates to let things remain behind the times.”

“Kaitlyn was a guest here?”

“For one night. She moved to Violet’s across town. Good riddance.” Lois swatted the air.

Violet’s Victoriana Inn was Lois’s competition, and Lois was quite vocal about not liking Violet’s sense of style. The inn was less homey than Lavender and Lace and a heap more expensive, although it did have a number of perks. Violet had hired a full-time masseuse and hairdresser. From what I could tell, Violet’s place was more Kaitlyn Clydesdale’s style—brash and aloof.

Lois clucked her tongue. “She’s not to be trusted.”

“Violet?”

“Kaitlyn Clydesdale. Mark my words. I knew her years ago. She’ll eat up this town.” Lois looked at least five years older than Kaitlyn. Had their age difference colored her view? “She was a terror as a girl. Willful.”

I knew a lot of willful people, but that didn’t make any of them a terror.

“Willful,” Lois repeated, and left it at that.

* * *

The sugary aroma of freshly made toffee in the Igloo Ice Cream Parlor snaked its way up the stairways, beneath the doors, and into the brightly lit yoga studio where my girlfriends and I were attending class. My stomach grumbled like a volcano. Sitting in the butterfly pose invariably made me hungry—don’t ask me why. My pal Freckles, a button of a woman dressed in neon orange workout clothes, giggled at the noise. Meredith, Delilah, and Jacky joined in. I hushed them all with a glare. Freckles stuck out her tongue.

“Real mature,” I whispered.

“Lie flat on your mats,” the stick-thin yoga instructor said.

All of us un-pretzled our bodies and obeyed.

“Hands beneath your buttocks and lift your right leg. Inhale up, exhale down. Now, the left leg. Inhale up . . .”

I breathed out my earlier frustration with Chip, and focused on Jordan’s winning smile and gentle hands and delicious kisses. I wondered if he would be free later. Would it be too brazen if I called?

“Plow pose. Raise your hips over your head. Touch your toes to the ground.”

Jacky, Jordan’s darkly elegant sister who glowed with new mommy joy even though, for the first time in her life, she was battling tummy bulge, only made it halfway in the plow pose. She moaned with frustration and tried harder. Freckles, who had recently given birth to a second daughter, moaned as well.

“Psst.” Despite the odd position, Meredith turned her head sideways. Her flexibility had something to do with regular exercise, I was pretty sure—something I needed to do more of. “Ipo will have to work things out for himself regarding the new competition with Clydesdale Enterprises, I’m afraid.”

“She’s right,” Freckles chimed in.

Before entering the classroom, I had told my friends about my chat with Lois.

“Does Ipo have any recourse?” Jacky asked.

“There’s nothing in the town’s bylaws that states someone can’t have a competing business,” Delilah said. She would know. A number of competitors had tried to lure customers away from the Country Kitchen.

“Ladies, quiet,” the yoga instructor said. “Silence is good for the soul.”

“But silence won’t solve the world’s problems,” I whispered.

Freckles tittered. “You’re bad.”

Delilah laughed, too. So did Meredith. The instructor gave us the evil eye.

While still attempting to achieve the perfect plow pose, Jacky said, “Meredith, when’s the wedding?”

“We’re thinking autumn. The college will be up and running by then.” Meredith’s enthusiasm was contagious.

“I love fall weddings,” Freckles gushed.

Meredith had hired Freckles and her staff at Sew Inspired Quilt Shoppe to sew all the dresses for the wedding, mine included. But when was the wedding going to be? Autumn was such a nebulous time frame. Did Meredith mean September, October, or November? A girl needed to plan ahead. I didn’t want to lose five pounds in August for nothing.

“Delilah, how are things going with Luigi?” Meredith asked, switching subjects deftly. Luigi Bozzuto was the owner of Providence’s only four-star restaurant, La Bella Ristorante.

“Great. He’s helping me divine some new grilled cheese sandwich recipes.” She made a humming sound as she often did when talking about food. “How does Vella Dry Jack, bacon, red onions, and syrup sound?”

“Decadent,” Meredith said.

“Utterly.” Delilah grinned. “Luigi said I should call it the Godfather, after … Charlotte, you tell them.”

I said, “Ig Vella was considered the godfather of American artisan cheese—a term he hated, by the way. His father founded Rogue Creamery with the help of J. L. Kraft.”

“Wow,” Meredith said.

“Luigi is such a card.” Delilah laughed. She hoped to host a grilled cheese contest in Providence someday. In an effort to create the most unique sandwiches imaginable, Delilah had sought Luigi’s advice. Within a week, Luigi and she had started dating. Though Luigi was at least twenty years older than Delilah, he could keep up with her intense pace and he loved to dance. The level of dance ability didn’t matter to Delilah. Good, bad, or indifferent at the skill, a man’s job was to get her out on the dance floor.

“How are things with Urso?” Delilah asked Jacky, who had achieved the plow pose—just barely.

“Unfurl, ladies, and roll onto your stomachs,” the instructor advised. “Arch your back in the cobra pose.”

As we all obeyed the command, Delilah said, “Yoo-hoo, Jacky … Umberto Urso … hello. I asked you a question.”

Jacky drew in a deep breath but kept mute. The day after she found out she was pregnant by insemination, she started dating Providence’s chief of police, who was one of my best friends. Had they broken up? I couldn’t remember having seen them strolling together or holding hands in quite a while. I would hate it if they split up. Urso had seemed so happy. Jacky, too.

“Cat-cow,” the instructor said.

We all drew to our knees, inhaled, and rolled our backs toward the ceiling.

“Fine, don’t talk about Urso,” Delilah said. “Charlotte, where’s Rebecca? Why hasn’t she joined us in this no-talking zone?”

“She’s consoling Ipo,” I answered.

“That’s not what I hear,” Freckles said. “I hear they’re going to do it.”

“Wahoo.” Delilah whistled under her breath.

I groaned. How many people had Rebecca confided in? “Not it, it,” I said. “They’re going to kiss.”

That earned laughter and a round of “Uh-huh, right,” from Meredith, Delilah, and Jacky.

“Ladies, please, no talking, or I’ll have to ask you to leave,” the instructor said. “This is a relaxing environment.”

“I’m not talking,” Freckles said. “I’m laughing.”

“No laughing, as well.”

Delilah flat-out guffawed. I couldn’t hold in my chuckles any longer, either.

The five of us scrambled to our feet, gathered our things from the rear of the room, and hustled into the foyer of the yoga studio. Our laughter chorused above the burbling water fountain. Lyrical music, designed to make those who entered the hallowed studio calm, filtered through speakers, but we simply couldn’t be serene.

“I’m so sorry,” Freckles said, still chuckling.

“I’m not.” Meredith patted Freckles on the back. “None of us were reaping the benefit of the class for some reason.”

“My twelve-year-old told me there’s hyper-electricity in the air. Winter brings it on.” Freckles was always packed with trivial information. She and her husband homeschooled their daughter. “Frenchie and hubby are doing a physics experiment on the topic this very minute with our other munchkin watching from the stroller.”

“I wasn’t talking about physics,” Delilah said. “I was talking about chemistry.” She turned to Jacky. “C’mon, give. What’s up with you and Urso?”

At least they had backed off discussing Rebecca and Ipo’s situation.

“Nothing.” Jacky tucked her yoga mat under her arm. “I mean, things are fine. Everything’s fine.”

As Delilah pleaded for more, Meredith tweaked my elbow and whispered, “By the way, I Googled the guy that Jordan said taught him to make cheese—Jeremy Montgomery.”

Her presumption that I would want to know made me prickly—was I that easy to read? I glanced at Jacky to see if she was listening in. She wasn’t. She seemed intent on stalling Delilah’s interrogation. I said, “Go on.”

“I’m worried,” Meredith said.

“Why?”

Meredith chewed on her lower lip then proceeded. “He died before Jordan was born.”

My insides percolated with apprehension. Why would Jordan lie to me? “Are you sure?”

Before she could respond, the front door of the yoga studio burst open.

Bozz, my teenaged Internet guru, hurtled inside. Chest heaving for breath, he brushed longish bangs off his forehead and gasped. “Miss B! I just got a text.”

Big deal. I would bet he received nearly two hundred texts a day.

“It’s from Chief Urso!”

My heart snagged in my chest. “What did it say?”

“He … He”—Bozz bent over and sucked in air—“he couldn’t reach you.” He stabbed a finger in the direction of my purse. We were required to turn off all cell phones for the yoga class.

“It’s about Rebecca.” Bozz offered me his phone.

I snatched the phone from his palm, and as I read, my knees went weak.

Kaitlyn Clydesdale was lying dead in Rebecca’s cottage.