Dark Winter

51

Warwick Drive turned out to be my only hope; I couldn’t find any other possibles. I went back to the car park at Bluewater and wound the seat back, but couldn’t sleep. I just nodded off for the odd five minutes, waking up to every shout, every moving vehicle, every banging tailgate.

When I finally opened my eyes, they were as blurred and watery as ever. My mouth tasted like a dustbin, and the cheese and pickle sandwich had made my teeth feel like they had little fur coats on. At least it was now dark. I checked traser. Shit, I was nearly late.

I went back into the mall and shoved a couple of pound coins into a wall phone. I got a very bright, upbeat ‘Hello!’ from Josh at the other end.

‘It’s me.’

The tone soon changed. ‘Oh, hi, we’re just on our way.’

‘Listen, don’t bother – change of plan. She’s not coming back just yet.’

‘You’re kidding? I spoke to her only last night and everything was cool. What’s wrong? She OK?’

‘Course.’ I tried to sound as casual as possible. ‘She’s just going to be here a little longer. I think it’ll be better for her.’

Bible college clearly hadn’t worked its magic. ‘What are you saying? You’ve changed your mind, or she’s changed hers? She’s already told me she wants to come back and sort herself out.’

‘I know, I know, but she’s not going to come back just yet. I’ll give you a call later. I’ve got to go, mate – work, you know what it’s like. I just wanted to catch you before you left for the airport.’

‘What’s going on here, man? You worried about her flying with the alert on? Come on, man, look, the chances are—’

‘Sorry, mate, gotta go, gotta go.’ I put the phone down and walked away.

I felt such an arsehole. I wanted to tell him to stay at home with the kids, I wanted to tell him he needed to get a truckload of antibiotics, but I couldn’t – I couldn’t risk a leak. The best chance Josh and the kids had of keeping safe was for me to keep quiet and give George the best possible chance of lifting the ASU. Whoever was out there working for him, they’d better be fucking good.

Back at the car, I got the seat back into its driving position and rolled out of the mall, the only vehicle without shopping bags piled on the back seat.

There was a small parade of shops on the edge of the estate: an off-licence, a Spar 24/7 and a dry cleaner’s. I parked and went into the 24/7. An old couple were sitting behind the counter, the woman chewing a KitKat. They both watched me intently while I picked up a pie and a couple of cans of Red Bull.

I left the car where it was and walked the rest of the way, filling my face with cold steak and kidney, or so it said on the packaging, and caffeine, trying to wake up and get myself in gear.

A few people were out walking their dogs, but most were probably bathing their kids: the place had that end-of-weekend feel about it. The street lighting was enough to see by, but not as bright as on the main drag. The developers had probably installed the minimum requirement, which worked in my favour.

The TVs glowed in the the front rooms of row upon row of new brick detacheds and semis. I turned into Warwick Drive. I could see lights on in what I hoped was Suzy’s place, up at the top of the turning circle. There was a vehicle shape in the driveway.

I left my second empty Red Bull can on the front wall of one of the mock-Tudors and checked that my cell was off, then ran through the options as I approached the house. What if she had a husband and he was at home? What if she had kids? What if she was alone but her husband came back while I was there? What would I do if she said she was going to tell the Yes Man?

As I got nearer I could see light through the crack in the front-room curtains, to the right of the front door, and from the upstairs landing.

The vehicle turned out to be a muddy Honda 4x4. I headed down the alleyway to the rear of the house, stopping at the brickworks corner to scan the garden. The landing light was strong enough to help me dodge the cement mixer, and the piles of sand and wood that lay beside it. Coldplay were going for it big-time in one of the upstairs rooms next door; Kelly would have approved.

I followed the fence to the new trees at the rear of the garden, keeping low enough to stay in its shadow. I could see Bluewater in the middle distance across the fields, so brightly lit the car parks looked like a UFO landing site. I had a complete view of the rear of the house from there. The curtains were drawn in the living room, but the oak-fitted kitchen was on full display. Between them was the back door, surrounded by a two-foot-high brick wall that formed the base of the conservatory.

I glanced over the fence to make sure the Coldplay fan wasn’t hanging out of the window having a sneaky smoke, then set off towards the dining-room window, keeping my distance from the wooden frames and piles of other building shit. I didn’t want to leave sign in the sand.

Movement to my right, inside the kitchen; no time to check, just to drop, and crawl into the shadow of the brickwork. Fuck leaving sign now. Face full of grit, I crawled to the corner to see what was moving.

Suzy was filling the kettle. She was wearing a white towelling dressing gown and her hair was slicked back. Her lips weren’t moving, and she was giving her full attention to the tap. I would probably have heard if somebody else had been anywhere near. Moments later, she disappeared in the direction of the hallway.

I crawled backwards, keeping on my stomach, then turned and got back on my original course. My bumbag was dragging along the ground, so I stopped to adjust it. Once below the window I sat up, my back against the wall. I shook the sand out of my sweatshirt and tried to ignore the damp and cold that was working its way through the back of my jeans.

I waited for her to return to the kitchen to finish making what I hoped was just the one brew. Coldplay weren’t helping much, but I was pretty sure there was no sound from inside her house, no TV, no talk, no music.

A shadow fell across the garden the other side of the back door. I swivelled on to my knees and lifted my head far enough to see through the corner of the window. The dining room was dark, and I could see just a sliver of light falling from the living-room doorway across the hall carpet.

Suzy appeared, mug in hand, then vanished from my field of view. I got down on my hands and knees, crawled to the other side of the window, then bobbed up again. She was lying on the settee, reading a magazine. The mug was next to her on a small coffee-table and a few more magazines were scattered about on the carpet. She was surrounded by smart-looking shopping bags, and a selection of new clothes was draped over an armchair, their tags still dangling.

I stayed in position and checked traser as she turned the pages. It was just after eleven. She must have been as knackered as I was. Why wasn’t she going to sleep? Was she waiting for her boyfriend or husband to come home, after all?

I kept watching her, making sure my mouth was far enough away from the glass not to leave any condensation.

Keeping on my hands and knees, I worked my way round the conservatory to the kitchen window. The sink was empty, and there weren’t any pictures on the fridge, or happy snaps on the yellow flowery walls.

Some letters were piled further along the worktop. I tilted my head to try to read the writing. I couldn’t make out the name, just that it wasn’t Mr and Mrs.

I slid back down below the window and rested against the wall. I tucked my legs in, wrapped my arms round them, and lowered my chin on to my knees, checking traser once more as my arse got resoaked. It wasn’t even midnight.

The flight was at seven-whatever, so I’d have to be at the airport a couple of hours before. That meant I had to leave here at about three or, even better, half two-ish to build in flat-tyre time. I had just under three hours to grip Suzy and get her to back me – or put her into the boot of my car – before I got myself cleaned up for the flight.

I sat in the wet grass, feeling the sand I hadn’t managed to remove from under my sweatshirt scrape against my back, and thought about Kelly. Maybe she was sitting in a corner of a filthy room, with nothing but her Old Navy on, cold, wet and frightened. Was she hungry? Did she have anything to drink? Had she been hurt? Would she know what was happening? There were other questions rushing around in my head too, questions I didn’t want to ask.

I felt completely fucking useless. I wanted to get moving, take action, do something positive. I gave myself a good mental slapping. This was the best way to get her back. I needed Suzy to help, and that was why I was here. That was positive action. That was the only action.

I held my breath to see if it would stop the pain in my chest, but it didn’t. I filled my lungs instead to calm myself down, but that didn’t work either. Why did I always fuck things up?

Time to get on with it. I stood up slowly, making sure I was still in shadow.

Keeping clear of the windows, I went back to the front of the house and suddenly realized she was probably as lonely as I was.

The curtains were still drawn.

As soon as I stepped under the porch the overhead security light flicked on. The door was solid dark wood. I pressed the buzzer, and eventually saw some movement in the hall.

‘Who is it?’ The voice wasn’t scared, just curious.

‘It’s me – it’s Nick.’

‘What?’

‘Nick. I need . . . I need some help. Open up.’

She turned the locks but left on the security chain and her face appeared in the gap. It was only a few inches wide, but that was enough for me to tell that she wasn’t remotely impressed. ‘What do you want?’

‘Just let me in. It’s important. Please?’

The door closed, and the chain rattled before it was opened again. I wiped my sandy boots on the welcome mat and stepped inside. The hallway was light blue and I could immediately smell new paint and carpets. Flowery wallpaper ran the length of the corridor, above a dado rail, punctuated by prints of trees, sky, things like that. It felt like a B&Q show-house.

There was another door on the left, just short of the staircase, which I guessed led to the garage, as it did in Jimmy and Carmen’s. Good: if she didn’t want to help me, I could get the car in there and bundle her into the boot without an audience.

‘What the fuck are you doing here, Nick?’

I put my hands up in surrender. ‘I’m dying for a brew.’

‘Fuck that. How did you know where I live?’

‘I didn’t. The view from the kitchen over to Bluewater? The conservatory? It was all I had to go on.’

She looked down at my clothes.

I shrugged. ‘I had to wait and see if you were alone. Look, I need to talk to you about something – but first I need that brew.’

‘It better be good.’ She turned towards the kitchen. ‘Get your boots off.’

I heard the kettle being filled as I obeyed.

My feet stank. I stopped at the door.

Even from behind, her body language was clear. She was probably angrier with herself than with me: she couldn’t believe that she’d given herself away. Back in her Det days, a slip like that might have cost someone’s life. ‘What do you want?’

‘Kelly’s been lifted . . . by the source.’

She spun to face me, the kettle still in her hand.

I kept my voice low and slow, wanting her to take every word on board. ‘I went to see her at her grandparents’ this morning. They’d both been stabbed to death. Kelly was missing. No note, nothing.’

We just stood there, Suzy still with the kettle in her hand, as I ran through what had happened next. ‘So, it’s a simple trade. I go to Berlin and do a pickup, and he gives me Kelly back.’

‘Pick up what?’ She plugged in the kettle.

‘Five wine bottles.’

She turned, a look of horror across her face. ‘Oh, fuck – you’ve got to call the boss.’

‘No.’ I shook my head.

She turned to the tree of yellow mugs that matched the wallpaper behind her, and for the first time I noticed a wedding ring on her finger. My mind worked quick time.

She knew what I’d seen. ‘Relax, I’m on my own here.’

I took a step closer. ‘Look, I really need help. I could lie to you and say this is all about keeping control of DW, but it isn’t. This is about getting her back, and then trying to control DW. I can’t do it on my own. You’re the only one I can ask. But whatever you decide, no one must know about this.’ I lifted the third finger of my left hand and flexed it in the air. ‘No one.’

The kettle stopped boiling and she dropped a teabag into the mug, poured the water, dug out the bag almost immediately and threw it into the sink.

I followed her into the living room with my brew as she hit the main lights. The curtains matched the settee, and the other soft furnishings. It was all a bit too flowery for my liking, and certainly not the sort of thing I’d have expected Suzy to go for.

A selection of family photographs stood on a highly polished sideboard in the dining room. A smiling naval officer took pride of place in two or three of the silver frames. Two boys in muddy rugby kit, more or less the same age as Kelly, grinned out from the others.

She tapped one of the pictures of the uniform. ‘That’s why I didn’t have to call anybody. Geoff’s still floating around the Gulf somewhere. These are his sons. They live with their mother in New Zealand.’

Geoff looked much older than her, and was obviously big-time in the Navy. I’d never understood the hierarchy, but there was a lot of gold stuff dripping off his jacket. Her face broke into a smile as she headed for the settee. ‘See, I told you, relax. I really am on my own.’

She threw her Hello! on to the carpet with the rest of the magazines and sat down, bringing her legs up on to the cushions then covering them with the robe. I stayed standing to protect the furniture. I nodded towards the shopping bags. ‘Been to Bluewater?’

‘Yeah, I couldn’t get to sleep. I was dying to, but what with all the work going on round the back . . .’ She adjusted the robe round her thighs again, then looked up sharply. ‘So tell me, what’s the story on this girl of yours, if she isn’t your daughter?’