Forgiving Lies

15

Kash

RACHEL GIGGLED AS I made my way down her neck. “I’m gonna be late to class if you keep that up.”

“Don’t care.” I nuzzled her throat and bit softly at the smooth skin. “Give me a little bit, I’ll be ready for round two.”

“You’re going to be late for inventory at the restaurant. And I don’t think I can go again, babe.”

“Wimp.”

“Ha! Uh, well, seeing as I woke up to one, and then you forced another one out of me right after . . . then as soon as we were done with breakfast you brought me back in here and I just had another two orgasms? No, I’m not a wimp, I’m just worn out, mister.”

I smiled wolfishly up at her and kissed her lips softly, loving how swollen they were from kissing. “Good. When we’re married, I’m gonna make you stay home so I can have my way with you whenever I want.”

She laughed loudly. “Really now? You’re going to make me stay home?”

I grunted some form of affirmation and said teasingly, “Gonna turn you into a fifties wife. Make you wear dresses, stay home, clean and cook for me. All day, nothing but pancakes.”

“You’re ridiculous. And I refuse.”

“To marry me?” I raised an eyebrow at her.

“To be your fifties wife. But I can’t wait to marry you.” Her eyes unfocused as she continued to run her hands through my hair.

“Rach? Hey.” When her blue eyes came back to me I rolled to the side and pulled her with me. “Where’d you just go?”

“Can we elope, Kash?”

That was definitely not what I was expecting when she’d just spaced out on me. “Why? Don’t you want the big wedding and the dress? Don’t you want the Jenkinses and your friends there?”

“No, I just want to marry you. Please? We can get married this weekend. Candice still won’t talk to me about it. I just feel like no one really wants us together except for us, and there’s no point in waiting.”

“That’s not true. My parents want us together.”

She blinked her blue eyes quickly. “Wait . . . What? They do? You and Mason never talk about your families . . . like, ever. Mason told me I reminded him of his little sister and that is literally the only thing I’ve heard about either of your families since the weekend you moved here. And I know Mase loves me . . . but whenever we talk about getting married around him, he always looks mad. Have you noticed that?”

Yes. “He’s not mad, I promise. And my parents do want us together, and they want to meet you. So we can’t get married until that happens, sweetheart.” My parents had no idea I was engaged. They just knew that I was seeing someone, because I’d accidentally let Rachel’s name slip once in one of our very few conversations. I hated hiding her from them, but just as I had to hide them from her, she had to stay hidden from them until this James Camden case was over. And even though I would do anything to marry the girl in my arms as soon as possible, there was no way I could do that to her until she knew that I wasn’t really Logan Hendricks. She needed to find out about Logan Ryan and his real life before I ever made her vow to spend forever with me.

“When—”

“Rachel,” Candice said as she burst into the room, “can I use— Oh! Oh my God, that’s Kash’s ass. Um . . . I’m leaving . . . oh, wow.” She shut the door quickly behind her and yelled from the other side. “And get ready, we’re going to be late!”

Thank God for Candice’s perfect timing.

Rachel turned a bright shade of red before bursting out laughing and crawling off the bed. “Come on, you need to go so we can both get ready.”

I pulled on my clothes and kissed her thoroughly, hoping she knew how much I loved her and how keeping myself a secret was worse than any deception I’d ever been a part of, and that it was eating me alive. “I love you, Rach.”

“Mmm, I love you too, Logan.”

Rachel

ALL I WANTED was a long, hot bath. The two classes I had that day had been easy and flown by. That wasn’t what was bothering me. It was the creepy glares that Blake had shot my way every time I saw him during the first class, and the note tucked into my windshield wiper again. There were never any on the days that Candice and I drove home together. But if she had cheer practice, it never failed. Every one of those days these first three weeks of school there had been a note. Three words. Never signed. Always typed. And always crumpled up and left in the parking lot after I got it.

you. are. mine.

I cringed thinking about them and wished there was something I could do. But honestly, what could I say? That I knew they were from Blake? I couldn’t prove it, and I knew Kash would most likely believe me, but he’d go crazy and I didn’t need that right now.

As soon as I opened the door to my apartment, I knew something was off. It was the what that I wasn’t sure of yet. I took a hesitant step inside the apartment but left the door open in case I needed to scream for one of the guys. Another step and my chest started burning from the breath I was holding. I let it out quietly and did a double take at the door to my room just as the noise from the kitchen filtered into my brain.

What the hell?

My body rocked back and forth as I debated which way to go first. “Kash? Mase?” Other than the sound of the dishwasher going, silence greeted me. “Guys, this isn’t funny . . .” I took quick and quiet steps to my open bedroom door and looked down.

Sitting in the middle of the door frame, all lined up next to each other, were my journal, a black lacy bra with purple ribbon going through it, a pair of dark purple lacy underwear laid out like it was on display at a store, and my laptop. I’d just bought the lingerie a few days ago and the tags were still on it; I hadn’t even told Kash about it yet. The laptop was opened and had iTunes up. Nothing was playing, but “I’ll Be” was highlighted.

This is so not funny. Only Kash knew where I kept my journal, and he knew it wasn’t just private. It was incredibly personal and the only thing I had here that connected me to my parents. To take it out and leave it here with these things was disturbing, and if Kash had read it . . . a breath caught in my throat. That was an invasion of privacy to the extreme. Tears pricked the back of my eyes and my throat began burning as I tried to hold off on the tears. Grabbing at everything, I hastily returned it all to where it belonged and took deep breaths in an attempt to calm down. This is going too far. Why would he do this to me?

After looking around quickly and making sure nothing else was out of place, I made my way to Candice’s room and searched around in there. Nothing seemed different about her room, but I couldn’t be positive. Shutting her door behind me, I went to the front door, shut and locked it, then made my way into the kitchen.

The dishwasher was running and almost done with its cycle. I thought back to this morning. I could have sworn I’d emptied the dishwasher, because I needed clean plates and coffee mugs when the boys came over. There was a possibility I hadn’t fully emptied it since I was still in zombie-Rachel mode . . . but Candice had left for classes with me and was still at practice, and I’d been gone for four hours. Even if I had started the dishwasher before I left, it would have been done by now. And I didn’t even understand fully how to do the delay on it. Oh my God, I’m going insane.

Jumping up on the counter, I stared at the dishwasher until it was done, it had gone through the heated dry cycle, and the door unlocked. With one more deep breath and chanting to myself that I was just losing it and had actually started the dishwasher before I left, I opened the heavy door and blinked rapidly after the steam gave me a facial.

It was empty.

What in the actual hell?!

I shut the dishwasher door roughly, opened it once more to confirm that it was indeed empty, and shut it again. My phone chimed and after staring at it like it might explode, I grabbed it to check the text.

KASH:

Hey babe, just got done doing inventory. You home yet? Gonna pick up dinner.

I didn’t respond. He’d left to do inventory at the same time we left for campus. Why was he lying about this? He was the only one who knew where I kept my journal. Granted, Candice knew I had one and knew about the song as well . . . and she had given me the approval on my new lingerie. But she’d been in classes all day and was in practice now. She wasn’t supposed to be home for another hour. My head shook back and forth as I looked around my apartment, which now looked exactly as I’d left it that morning, and I went to sit on the couch. I just—I don’t understand. Am I going crazy? Am I doing all this to myself and just not realizing it?

Ten minutes later, Kash called, but I let it go to voice mail. Same with the next call from him a few minutes after that. I pulled my legs up onto the couch and rested my chin on my knees as I played the morning in my head over and over again. And that’s how Kash and Mason found me some time later.

They didn’t knock, but then again, they never did. They walked right in and both heaved sighs of relief. And I knew I’d locked that door earlier.

“Did you not get my messages?” Kash asked, and planted himself directly in front of me, legs spread, arms crossed over his chest.

“I didn’t listen to them.”

“Are you okay? What’s—”

“Where have you been?” I demanded, and looked directly into his gray eyes.

His head jerked back. “Taking inventory at the restaurant. Exactly where I said I was going.”

“Where have you actually been?” Turning my head to look at Mason, my eyes narrowed. “And where were you?!”

They exchanged a look that I didn’t understand, but it made my heart beat faster, and not in a good way. They were lying to me. I knew it.

“I went to help Kash since he helped me with inventory at my bar the other day.”

I shot up off the couch and leveled my glare at both of them. “Don’t lie to me! What you guys did isn’t funny!”

“Wait. What? What did we do?” Kash’s eyes were massive and he looked . . . nervous?

“You’re really going to act like all the shit around here wasn’t done by either one of you?”

Now neither looked nervous. Just incredibly confused. “Babe. What the hell are you talking about?”

“The dishwasher and the—” I cut off quickly and pointed at the floor of my doorway. “The stuff there! Why would you do something like that to me? That’s cruel.” My voice shook and I tried to swallow past the lump in my throat. “Did you really think I would find all that shit funny? You’re such an asshole, Kash!”

Kash looked over at the bare carpet before looking back to me. “Woman. You’re starting to piss me off, always accusing me of doing something. We’ve been gone since you left this morning.”

“It had to have been you,” I whispered, my anger quickly fading. I looked at Mason. He looked lost. “It was one of you . . . right?”

“What was?”

I jerked away from the tone of Kash’s voice. I’d never seen him mad at me like this. “It wasn’t you?” My body collapsed onto the couch and I grabbed my head in my hands. Oh my God, this is what going insane feels like! “I’m going crazy.”

Kash came to kneel in front of me and grabbed my chin in one hand to make me look up at him. His anger was gone and he looked just as lost as Mason. “Baby, what are you talking about? Tell me what was wrong in here.”

I told him about the lingerie, journal, and laptop, how they were laid out, and I whispered to him about the song that had been clicked on. His expression grew darker with each new item, and when I told him about the dishwasher, he made Mason go look in it. “So . . . so the pancakes weren’t you either?”

The boys stopped talking and looked at me again. “There were pancakes too?”

“No. Remember the night I was making pancakes for you when you came over? The night Mason came to hide from his boss.” When Kash nodded, I continued. “When I got out of the shower that night, the skillet was out and turned on. There were bowls, measuring cups, the whisk, and pancake mix. I thought you were trying to hint that you wanted me to make them for you.” Both of their eyebrows shot straight up. Oh my God, it really hadn’t been them. What the hell was happening?!

“Shit,” Kash mumbled, and his head fell back. He just looked at the ceiling for a few moments before whispering something to Mason. Mason walked quickly out of the apartment, his phone going to his ear. “Rach, I need to tell you something. But I don’t want you upset with me. You need to know that Mason and I did this to protect you, all right?”

My stomach dropped and I could swear my heart skipped a few beats.

“Do you trust me?”

Of course I trust him . . . or I did, up until tonight. And after that intro to the conversation, I’m really starting to rethink all that. And why did Mason leave? I think I need him here with me. Where is Candice? Shouldn’t she be home soon? Why the hell was the dishwasher on . . . Oh my God! Kash is going to tell me that I’m insane and he’s going to send me away. I’m the crazy girl who turns on dishwashers with nothing in them and lays out lingerie!

“Do. You. Trust me?”

“I’m not crazy!” I snapped, and then my hands flew over my mouth. That’s exactly what crazy people say! “Why is it so hot in here?”

“Rachel . . . Rach. Come on, babe, just breathe, you’re going to make yourself pass out.” Kash was suddenly on the couch with me, pulling me to the side and into him so my back was against his chest. He took deep breaths in and out and kept one hand on my chest, forcing me to breathe in sync with him. “Better?” he asked softly in my ear after a couple minutes of our breathing together.

My body slumped into his and I shut my eyes. “Yeah.”

“You’re not crazy, sweetheart. I need you to listen to me though, all right?”

I nodded. “And I do trust you.”

With a kiss to my temple, he moved me out from between his legs and situated me so we were facing each other. “Now, let me say all of this before you respond, and try to keep an open mind.” He cracked his neck and thought for too long before he began. “I didn’t take you on the trip to The Vineyard for the sole purpose of us being alone. The trip was amazing. I loved every second with you. But I took you to get you away from here. A couple days before we left, Mason and I separately ran into a guy who was looking in your windows. When he was confronted, he said he was your dad.”

I gasped and jerked back. That’s not possible. My mouth opened but Kash spoke before I could get anything out.

“We both knew he wasn’t. We didn’t even have to know about your parents’ being gone to know he wasn’t. He was stumbling over his own words, and when I was talking to him he got a phone call. He said it was you, and whomever he was talking to let him go on acting like it was you. Said you were out eating breakfast with Candice and he was going to meet you. While all of this was going on, you were asleep in my bed and Candice was at camp.

“Mason and I kept a watch for the next couple days; that’s why we tried to get you and Candice to go out so much. He kept coming back; he’d just sit in the parking lot in a dark green Explorer for hours on end, and every once in a while he’d come back and try to get in your apartment or just look in the windows. He got a few more calls while in the breezeway that we were able to listen to. And in the one I heard the morning that we left, he was calling the person he spoke to West.”

My heart was pounding. I didn’t understand what was happening now any more than I had earlier. “West, as in Blake?”

“We think so.”

“Oh my God.” Hyperventilating back full force.

Kash’s face grew tense. “He also said that the package had come in and he’d be putting it on your car as soon as you came back . . . and then ‘West’ could track you.”

“There’s a tracking device on my car?!”

“Baby, no. He put one on but you and I were already gone. Mason took it off and destroyed it.”

“Oh my God,” I repeated, and dropped my head into my hands. “Why is he doing this?”

“That’s not all.” A whimper left my throat and I pulled my legs back up onto the couch to curl into a ball. “I knew I needed to get you out of here so I already had my stuff packed and was waiting for him to leave—he would randomly leave for anywhere from twenty minutes to an hour—and I heard another call. All I heard was him talking about you being at the mall, like he was confirming that’s what someone said, and then he said he was on his way there. You and Candice came back fifteen minutes later. That’s why I didn’t give you time to pack or get ready, and Mason texted me saying he came back not even ten minutes after we left.”

“How did they know we were at the mall?!”

Kash grimaced. “Is Candice in contact with Blake a lot?”

My head snapped back. “What? Why would you ask that?”

“Someone had to tell Blake that the two of you were at the mall. Was Candice texting or calling anyone that day? Does she tell you if she talks to him?”

“She knows I don’t want to talk about him; she was so mad when I told her about what he did. That was the first time she’d ever gotten mad at me like that. So we don’t talk about him or that day at all. I mean—she and Eli went to go see him that night Eli was in town, but that was . . . that was Eli who brought it up. Not her. But Candice is always texting someone—like, it’s weird if she’s not on her phone—so I can’t say who she ever is or isn’t talking to. But I do know she talks to him a lot at our classes and hangs out with him.”

He nodded his head and sighed heavily as he held my stare. “I don’t want to say this about her, but I think she’s unknowingly giving Blake information about you.”

I was going to throw up. Or pass out. Okay, maybe both. Trying to take deep breaths, I clasped my hands together and the shaking in my body seemed to only get worse. “She didn’t believe me, but she wouldn’t hurt me.” But she still may have told Blake where you work . . .

“I’m not saying that. I said ‘unknowingly.’ If she’s telling him anything, she doesn’t realize she is, because he’s probably asking in a way where she wouldn’t realize it. I can’t be sure though, we’d need her phone.”

“Why is he doing this—why can’t he just leave me alone? Wait. Why are you telling me all this now? Do you think that guy was in here?” All the blood drained from my face. “Oh God. Was it Blake? Was Blake in here?”

“I don’t know, Rach. But who else knows about the journal and song other than me?”

“Um, C-Candice’s entire family knows about the journal, but only Candice knows about the song.”

“And who knows about pancakes besides us?” he asked softly, and reached for me.

“Oh God,” I cried, and my vision instantly blurred as I let him pull me back into his lap.

“Shh. It’s okay, sweetheart. I’m going to keep you safe. I swear.” His lips brushed my forehead and he held me tighter to him. “If Candice hasn’t told him about those things, then either Blake or the other guy is watching us a lot closer than we thought. Do you know a Marvin Cross?”

I tried to think, but my head was spinning with all this new information. “Um, I don’t—I don’t think so. It doesn’t sound familiar. Why?”

“That’s the guy’s name. If you ever see a dark green Explorer, I want you to call me.”

“How do you know his name?”

There was a short pause before his answer. “We called the police and had them run the license plate on the car.”

I didn’t think they would just give that information out. But I was so shaken up, I was sure I was just second-guessing everything right now. I shuddered when I thought about all the times I’d been near Blake recently. The possessive gleam in his eyes . . . his smile, like he had a secret . . . his vows to remind me whom I belonged to. I thought I’d been terrified of him before, but after all this new information, I knew I’d had no idea what he was capable of and fear ran through my veins like ice. “I can’t keep going to school. He’s always there, I can’t—I don’t want to be near him. And what if he knows where our apartment is? What if Candice told him? I can’t stay here, we need to leave! Oh, God—”

Kash grabbed my cheeks and kissed me soft and slow until my body sagged with exhaustion from everything I’d just learned. “I’ll keep you safe, Rachel. If you want to get away from here again, I’ll make it happen. Say the word and we’re gone, I swear.”

I sighed heavily and whispered against his lips, “Thank you.”