Full Steam Ahead, Felix

18. Perfect Partners

It was the morning after the night before at Huddersfield station, the morning after the staff Christmas party, which had been held in a local Italian restaurant. There had been food and drink, and revelations … for Dan and Sara, at last, had come clean about their office romance, having kept it under wraps since it had started (they had told no one apart from Felix). They hadn’t wanted anyone else to know till their relationship was on a firmer footing, and even then they’d wanted Andy Croughan to be the first to find out, just in case there were any problems with two employees getting together.

Dan had had a few drinks before he broached the topic with his boss. It was one of those situations where he was really asking for forgiveness more than permission. ‘By the way, this is happening, and I hope it’s OK because, well, it’s already happened …’

But Andy was absolutely fine with it. ‘I’m happy for you,’ he said to Dan. ‘Just don’t do owt daft on shift.’

In truth, it had been fairly obvious to the station manager for quite some time now that there was a spark between the two team members – and who was he to stand in the way of true love?

True love was what one creature certainly had in mind at the station that December – but, sadly for him, his affection was very much not reciprocated. His name was Charlie and he was the loveliest, friendliest and soppiest cocker spaniel in the whole wide world. Though perhaps not according to Felix the cat.

One late evening that December, Charlie and his human, Julie Swift, were coming home from Sheffield University, where Julie had been lecturing her students in dog grooming and Charlie had been a model ‘model’ dog. He was such a happy-go-lucky fellow that he had patiently allowed every student in the class to have a go at hand-stripping him, a grooming technique whereby they used their fingers and thumbs to pluck the dead undercoat from his fur. Under Julie’s direction, the students had excelled at their work and Charlie’s glorious golden coat now had a lovely silky sheen to it that was shining brightly under the station lights.

Julie walked along with her fake-fur-trimmed winter coat buttoned up against the cold. She was a short, dark-haired lady in her mid-forties, who described herself as a mad dog groomer with an even madder dog. Charlie, true to form, was enjoying his evening stroll as they disembarked from the Sheffield service on platform two and began walking up platform one towards the station exit. He trotted along on a blue patterned lead that was attached to his blue diamanté collar, his nose sniff-sniff-sniffing at the cold winter air.

Charlie was a very, very friendly dog, one of the kindest dogs Julie had ever known, an absolute sweetheart. If he met a person, he would wag his tail. If he met a dog, he would wag his tail. And if he saw a cat, he just went potty.

This was because one of Charlie’s very best friends in the whole world was a cat called Ludo. He was a black-and-white tuxedo cat with a white-tipped tail who regularly allowed Charlie to smother him in wet-tongued kisses. Every time he saw him, Charlie would signal his excitement with a flurry of tail wags that silently cried, ‘Yes! It’s Ludo!’ And the two creatures would then greet each other warmly: Ludo rolling over and splaying out his limbs while Charlie excitedly licked him all over with his long pink tongue.

Julie had another cat, River, who was less enthusiastic. But any time River lashed out at Charlie, telling him, ‘Gerroff!’ Charlie seemed to take it as a term of endearment and covered him in kisses again. Charlie simply loved cats and every time he encountered one, he liked to stick his big, drooly, dopey face right up next to theirs to say hello. His eager greeting was always completed with an excited wag of his tail and a sudden slurp of his fat wet tongue.

So when, on this December evening, Julie spotted Felix the railway cat sitting further along the platform from them, calmly taking in the cool night air, she decided to give her plenty of time and room to move if she wished to. In order to get to the exit, Julie and Charlie had to walk past the cat – there was no way round her – but Julie hoped that if she held back a little, Felix would take the hint and get a head-start so their paths would never have to cross. Julie didn’t know quite how the station cat might take to such a friendly hound.

Felix did see them coming. But, in keeping with her new chilled vibe, she did not move a muscle, even as the crazy cocker spaniel came closer. Felix had encountered dogs at the station before now, of course; both Angela Dunn and Dave Chin had observed her with them. She tended to give them a right eyeful, warning them off with a fierce flash of her emerald-green peepers – and usually that was enough to see them heading for the Yorkshire hills. At the end of the day, the station was Felix’s territory, and she would not be scared off it by such mere mortals as dogs. Felix viewed canines as the enemy, on the whole, but it was she that was generally the more confident aggressor. She would never lower herself to engaging in combat, as such, but did everything through silent diplomatic channels – a ploy that had always got her exactly what she wanted in the past, which was usually the dog’s departure.

So, as she watched Charlie approach, his legs excitedly bounding along the cold concrete platform, his nose sniffing left and then right, Felix remained as cool as a cucumber.

Julie noticed that she had not moved. I’m just going to slow down a little bit more, she thought. Perhaps she hasn’t seen him yet. She might spot him in a moment and walk away – and then she won’t get an earful of cocker spaniel slobber …

While Julie was well aware of Felix, Charlie, for all his hound-dog sniffing, had spectacularly failed to notice the fluffy black-and-white cat sitting slap bang in front of him. But there was so much else for him to focus on! The plants in their pots! The bikes in their racks! The people walking past! He was using his nose more than his eyes, hedonistically lost in all the new smells, so he didn’t see Felix until he was really very close to her.

But, as soon as he did spot her, that tail of his began wag-wag-wagging. ‘Ooh!’ it seemed to exclaim with great excitement. ‘It’s a cat! I LOVE cats! Oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my!’

‘Charlie,’ Julie said soothingly, as she sensed his rising anticipation at meeting a new friend. ‘Just be nice, now – and gentle. She isn’t Ludo, remember. She might not like it …’

Obediently, Charlie took her at her word. He slowed his pace right down and approached Felix ever so gently, as though she was a precious bairn and he was a night nurse checking on his ward. Julie was not worried about him hurting Felix – Charlie was such a kind-hearted soul through and through that there wasn’t a bone of aggression in his body.

Felix was also calm and gentle as the dog approached her. She did not run. In fact, she did not even stand up to acknowledge his presence. She simply sat there and looked at him, seemingly unimpressed. ‘Who are you?’ her eyes sneered silently. She was giving him the deadpan, dismissive look that she always turned on dogs – but it was having little effect on the dopey Charlie.

Julie, watching them carefully, was impressed at how cool and collected the station cat was. She’d seen other cats freak out at having a dog so close to them, but Felix couldn’t be bothered even to have a reaction. She fixed Charlie with her bored green eyes. ‘I’m not moving,’ they seemed to say. ‘So what on earth are you still doing standing there?’

Charlie’s golden tail began to wag faster. ‘Oh, oh, oh!’ it excitedly declared. ‘I’m going to say helloooo to yooooou, little cat!’

With a grinning, goofy expression, he stepped right up to Felix. Then he lowered his friendly face to hers until the two animals were nose to nose. And then … he licked her, sloppily, right on her fluffy black face!

Felix looked absolutely appalled. She made a disgusted sound at the back of her throat. In an instant she batted Charlie away, smacking him firmly on his nose as though she was a strict disciplinarian doling out corporal punishment.

Charlie jumped back, taken by surprise.

He was not one to give up easily, though. While Ludo had never hit him, he knew that River sometimes did … Perhaps, he may have thought, this was how some cats said hello.

Well, in that case, Charlie wanted to say hello too! After only a brief pause, his tail started wagging again enthusiastically and he developed a kind of excited, dancing energy in all four paws. ‘Hello, hello, hello!’ he seemed to say as he bounced more buoyantly with every step. ‘I want to say hello to you!’ He swooped in again, his long pink tongue wiping all over Felix’s face.

She looked absolutely outraged. ‘How DARE you!’ her indignant green eyes intoned loudly without words. She was Queen Felix – didn’t this dopey dog understand that royal etiquette ruled that she should never be touched by lesser mortals? Once had been bad enough, but twice?! What on earth was wrong with this brainless ball of fluff?

Once more with feeling, she smacked Charlie on the nose – and, this time, she was not waiting around for a third unwanted kiss. She skipped a little bit to begin with as she walked away, at the shock of his affection, but then stalked off at a steady, much more unruffled pace. It was as though she was determined not to give him the satisfaction of seeing her run away; she made a dignified exit, her head held regally high.

‘Charlie!’ admonished Julie, as the dog looked sadly after the station cat, his nose feeling really rather battered after Felix’s two well-placed swipes. ‘That is what you get for sticking your nose in people’s ears when they don’t want it! When will you ever learn?’

But the answer, Julie knew, was never. Charlie was just too friendly a dog. Indeed, even as he watched Felix walk away, he noticed that two TPE staff were standing nearby, chuckling heartily to themselves at how adeptly Felix had dealt with him.

All thoughts of the cat were suddenly banished. With a scurrying stride that brought Julie with him, he bounded over to them. ‘You stroke me instead!’ his eager strides seemed to say – and they were more than happy to oblige.

It was a Christmastime full of cuddles. Charlie and anyone who would pet him … Sara and Dan – who marked their new relationship with a meeting of minds (and lips) beneath the mistletoe … And even Felix found her perfect partner too. She may not have had her own beau, but she would always have Angela Dunn. Her lady-in-waiting had been a constant companion ever since kittenhood – and now their steadfast friendship was feeling festive. For this pair of perfect partners had decided to spend the holiday season together. Boyfriends and husbands were overrated. This Christmas, the true love affair was all about feline fun.