Lost Girls

chapter 5

It is an unfortunate fact that the largest and most handsome building in Murdoch is its jail, the whimsically named Murdoch Prison for Men. The original building, set in a green cleft next to the courthouse, is a modest but dignified red brick block with oak doors and a marble cornerstone marking its inauguration by some Lieutenant Governor or other, as well as the date, July 16, 1897. Since then several additions had been made to the rear, and the structure moved within its high walls down a long slope to the edge of the creek that runs through town.

Its history was obvious enough. Over the decades, with each quarry closing, and the ongoing confirmation that a tourist market was never to be, a sympathetic provincial government would construct another cellblock and expand the region that the jail was designated to serve. These days one of Murdoch's greatest boasts was that it had criminals bused in from far and wide to serve their summary terms or await trial. And while other small-town jails across the country were being shut down in favor of new, computer-managed institutions with state-of-the-art metal shops and swimming pools to assist in ''rehabilitation programs,'' Murdoch's would go on with the job assigned to it at the end of the nineteenth century so long as the people who lived in the woods up here continued to do bad things.

This will be Thomas Tripp's home for the course of the trial no matter what I have to say, as those accused of firstdegree murder are statutorily denied the right to a bail hearing. And it's just as well, as far as I'm concerned. I like my clients in jail as a rule. I do what I can to obtain bail, of course, but if I fail I'm always a little relieved, for this way I know where to find them, and can thus avoid one of the primary challenges of conducting a criminal trial: locating your client.

Inside, the Murdoch Prison for Men looks like every other jail--waxed hallways, pale green paint over floor, walls, and ceiling, barred gates where doors would otherwise stand--except older. Including the guard with blushing nose and alcoholic cheeks who takes me to the interview room and asks en route, ''Up from Toronto, are ya?''

''I am.''

''Where ya stayin'?''

''The Empire Hotel.''

''The Empire, eh? Nobody but drunks stay there.''

''That's fine. I'm something of a drunk myself.''

He swings around to shoot me a quick look. But he's a man whose career has been built upon the efficient dispatch of wiseasses, and he doesn't miss a beat.

''Think yer man did it?''

''It would be inappropriate for me to comment on that. Besides, with all due respect, it's none of your fucking business.''

''Quite so, quite so.''

Before he opens the door to Interview Room No. 1 he pauses to smile in a way that is either an expression of friendliness or a practiced mask meant to hide something far more uncongenial.

''Well, I can tell you this,'' he says. ''Everyone around here thinks yer man quite a strange one.''

''The last time I consulted the books, being a strange one wasn't illegal.''

''That may be. But taking little girls away sure as hell is.''

''Thank you so much. Now that you've clarified the law for me, could you just do your job and go fetch my client?''

He meets my eyes for a moment, makes a horsey sound with his nose, but opens the door.

''You just make yourself comfortable,'' he says before closing it, which, it is immediately apparent, is exactly what he says before closing these doors on everyone.

Who knows whether the guard takes his time bringing Tripp in because he's busy with other matters of legitimate urgency or is savoring the opportunity to give me the finger from the other side of the one-way glass, but it's nearly a quarter of an hour before he returns with my guy.

''Thomas Tripp, meet Mr. Crane. Mr. Crane, Thomas Tripp,'' the guard says formally, standing between us with hands extended as though to bring us all closer together in the way of old friends.

''Thanks. But I think we can get along on our own now,'' I tell him, gesturing for Tripp to sit down, but he doesn't move.

''I'll be back in twenty minutes,'' the guard says.

''Look, I'm permitted as much time with my client as I require, as both you and the warden are well aware, and--'' I start, and would continue (my appetite for laying into gnomish quasiofficials sufficiently whetted), but he stops me by raising his small palms in surrender.

''Quite so! Quite so! Take all the time you need, Mr. Crane. Just you knock whenever you're through.''

He skips out of the room with something near a click of his heels--suddenly the sprightly leprechaun--and leaves Tripp standing in the same position as when he was brought in, seemingly unaware of the negotiations going on around him.

''Please sit down,'' I tell him, once more indicating the seat on the other side of the table. Once more he seems not to hear.

''Mr. Tripp, you'll soon learn that I'm an unconventional sort of lawyer, open to almost any innovation in protocol, with the sole exception of conducting interviews with those who insist on standing while I'm seated. So, please, for my benefit, won't you sit down?''

''You're my lawyer?''

''Didn't your local counsel, Mr. Norton, confirm this with you? It was upon his recommendation that you have retained the firm of Lyle, Gederov for your defense. I'm their associate, Bartholomew Crane, although I urge you to call me Barth.''

''Ah, yes,'' he says with a flare of recognition. ''So you're to be my winged monkey, are you?''

''Is that how Mr. Norton described me to you?''

''Not exactly.''

Neither of us says anything for a time until I conclude that the responsibility of carrying out the niceties is to be borne by me alone.

''Well, for what it's worth,'' I say, and extend my hand, which snaps him out of whatever spell had been placed over his motor skills. He gives me a firm, if somewhat moist, handshake.

''I'm Thom Tripp,'' he says, and finally slumps into the opposite chair.

''Well, I've reviewed your file, Mr. Tripp, and--''

''Thom.''

''Thom, yes--thanks--reviewed your file, and now I need to talk to you about your view of things. You offered no statement to the police, which was wise. But what I need now is all the background stuff, anything you feel is relevant. Especially what you think the Crown may already know that I may not yet know, if you see what I mean.''

He looks at me and breathes through enlarged nostrils, as though he requires more air than his nose was originally designed to accommodate. His file gave his age as forty-two, but I would have put him a few years older. Not because of the usual evidence of baldness, gray hair, or wrinkles (his skin is smooth and his hair, although thin, covers most of his scalp and is more brown than anything else), but from the sticky weariness of his eyes. Aside from this one might even say he has an air of youth about him, a schoolboy-turned-schoolteacher precision to his features along with the eager, craning effect of a head sitting a little too high on top of his neck. But the eyes show something else, a white space between sagging rims and irritated lids onto which time has projected itself. Not the face of a handsome man, but there's a neatness to the mouth and wide brow that suggests he probably pulls off a pleasant appearance in photos taken from at least ten feet away. This, I would guess, is the minimum distance required to diminish the dark grief smeared around his eyes.

''You want to know if I did it,'' he says abruptly, the big nostrils opening wide to release a long gust whistling up from his lungs.

''Glad you brought that up. I should let you know right off that all communications between you and me are privileged, and as such are not admissible in court. That's on the technical side. On the practical side I don't need to know if you did it. And as for my wanting to know, if I had to express a preference, I don't think I do. In my experience such things rarely make a difference.''

''Such things?''

''The truth, as it were.''

''So you don't care if I'm the one or not?''

''Mr. Tripp, a good part of what you pay me for is to remain single minded. Caring would cost considerably more.''

For a moment he holds himself as though caught by an unexpected flashbulb explosion--eyes peeled back, breath held--and absorbs the words that hang between us.

''Maybe I'm the one who needs to know,'' he says finally.

''Well, unless your two former students show up with some additional information, I would have thought that you're the only one who does.''

That's when the tears start. A series of transparent globes coursing over his skin with such speed that in a single moment they begin to drip steadily from his chin onto the table's surface. What's most strange about this performance is that he doesn't apologize. Doesn't wipe his face with his sleeve or turn his head away.

''Well, that's fine. You don't really know,'' I start, slapping at my jacket pockets to find that I've forgotten to pack my Kleenex. ''That's okay. In fact, that may be good. We can get on without that information, so let's not worry about it for the moment.''

''Not worry about it. No.''

He smiles at me briefly. But maybe not, the parting and closing of his lips so swift that it may have only been an exhalation of air, although that job appeared to be ably performed by his nose alone. What's more certain is that the tears, so sudden and gushing a moment before, are now gone, leaving only two dishwater stains down his cheeks.

''Can we go on now, Mr. Tripp? Thom?''

He inhales.

''You were the girls' teacher, yes?''

''I taught English.''

''For how long?''

''A year. They were very bright.''

''Oh?''

''Not the best grades in the class, but pretty close. They were interested.''

''In what?''

''Books, poetry. Stories. Good Lord, they were even interested in what I had to say!'' He laughs at this obviously old and tested joke with a determined effort.

''And they would come to see you after class for extra help?''

''They didn't need my help. They were just interested.''

''But on the day they disappeared--did they come after class to speak with you then?''

''Which day?''

''The day in question, Mr. Tripp.''

''Which day of the week?''

I gauge his seriousness in this, but his face is unchanging, so I check the file.

''It appears it was a Thursday.''

''Then, yes, because the Literary Club met on Thursdays. That was when we'd talk.''

''So on that Thursday, after you got together to talk, did you go for a drive?''

''Drive . . .''

''To the lake. Did you take the girls to Lake St. Christopher?''

He lifts his eyes away from mine and up to the ceiling, blinks into the anemic fluorescent light as though in brief prayer.

''Do you want to know something funny? I wanted to live in this place ever since I was a kid,'' he says, suddenly breezy. ''Back when my family used to come up from the city in the summers. I thought that one day when I was old enough I'd move here and live on that lake in my own little place forever.''

''I see. But what--''

''Just one of those cheap, rickety-as-all-get-out sort of vacation cottages. You know the ones? Nothing much at all. It's always a little embarrassing, isn't it? The things you wish for when you're young.''

''I wonder if we could--''

''And then comes the real world. Flattening everything in its path, handing out the just deserts. So I end up living alone in a bachelor apartment in the ghost town down the road, teaching literature to students who can't read the back of a hockey card. This is what happens to children's dreams, Mr. Crane.''

''That's too bad, Thom. It really is. But for the time being I'm just wondering about you and the girls and the lake.''

''The girls.''

''That's right. Did you take them up there that Thursday?''

''They always talked about it.''

''Going for a drive?''

''About the lake.'' He sweeps his knuckles over his lips. ''They liked stories.''

''That's fine. But what I'm looking for here is a sequence of events starting, oh, I don't know, say, from the beginning, and going to the end. To your drive to the lake, if there was a drive to the lake.''

''A regular water rat, that's what my mother called me. I was such a good swimmer.''

''How about the girls? Were they good swimmers too?''

He presses his lips together so tightly, they disappear altogether except for the bloodless white crease they leave halfway between nose and chin.

''There's not much . . .''

''Not what?''

''. . . not much I can say without . . .''

Then the tears again, a splashing deluge that falls onto his face but affects no other part of his body. No shaking shoulders or trembling lips. It's as though they arrive on their own for reasons that are either unknown to him or so well known he has ceased to supplement them with any other expression.

''Please, Mr. Tripp,'' I say, pushing back the impatience rising in my voice. ''It's apparent that you're under a great deal of stress. But frankly so am I, and you're not helping very much. If I'm to act for you, there are some things I need to know. At the moment I don't have much: girls went missing on Thursday, May the twelfth; a fruitless search over the course of the following weeks; warrant issued for your apartment and car a couple weeks later that yielded cutout catalog pictures of girls in pajamas on your bedroom wall, muddy pants in the laundry hamper, muddy shoes at the door, and a few bloodstains in the backseat. Two months later you're under arrest. There's an outline of a story there, and certainly a whole number of potential inferences, but I think it needs some fleshing out, so to speak. Don't you?''

Sarcasm may not be the best approach under the circumstances, but the truth is I'm finding Tripp more recalcitrant than the usual. Clients are rarely forthcoming at first and even more rarely articulate, but if this guy's la-laland routine is as intentional as I suspect it is, I have to let him know I'm not convinced. So I sit for a time with pen poised over notepad and wait. Count to thirty in my head and wait some more, although I lower my eyes for the next thirty because I have the feeling that if I got into a staring match with this guy I'd lose. And in the end he wins anyway.

''Okay, Thom. Let's try just yes or no. Did you drive the girls anywhere that Thursday?''

''It's not me you want to ask.''

''There's nobody else to ask, is there?''

''They always told me what to do.''

''And they told you to drive them to Lake St. Christopher, is that it? They wanted to go?''

''I don't know what they wanted. I just . . .''

''Just took them there?''

''Always talking about it. 'What about the lake, Mr. Tripp?' Those two! 'Tell us about the lake.' I had a choice about it at first. And then after a while it didn't matter.''

His voice isn't a whisper, doesn't travel as whispers do, but is so soft I strain for every word.

''There are some things you can't fight, Mr. Crane.''

''By 'things' I take it you mean 'urges'?''

''I mean the will of others.''

''Are you telling me--are you trying to tell me that there's another party involved here? If so, I need you to tell me now. Give me a name.''

The tears have been stemmed once more, but Tripp's head now hangs down to meet his chest and his arms have fallen inward so that he takes up as little space as he can, as though he would pull his entire body up into himself and disappear if he could.

''Whoever it is, you can't help them now,'' I continue, keeping my voice even. ''It's time to think of yourself, Thomas. And I can help you--we can help each other--if you just give me a name.''

He wriggles his shoulders as though invisibly bound. An audible smacking of eyelids sounding out an unreadable code.

''Can you hear them?'' he whispers.

''I can hear you and me and an inmate barking for a smoke down the hall. What else are you referring to?''

''They change.''

''Change?''

''From one to another.''

''Well, that's the basic structure of conversation, isn't it? An exchange between more than--''

''They talk to each other.''

''Mr. Tripp. Are you trying to suggest to me your suitability for the defense of insanity? If this is your plan, you need not pretend with me. I'm your lawyer. It's essential that you realize we have shared interests. Now, if you prefer the idea of lifelong hospitalization to the possibility of lifelong incarceration, you just tell me how you'd like me to go about it, and we'll--''

''I can hear her!''

Tripp pulls himself up, leans across the table, and hisses this at me, his face a mask of goggle-eyed desperation. Hands gripping the edges of the table hard enough to turn his knuckles an instant white, shoulders braced as though in anticipation of a physical blow from behind. And now bigger than I thought, as though another, larger man were swelling within his skin. Pushing out bands of vein across his forehead, slithering pulses down his neck.

There's something about this new turn to his performance that gives me serious pause. An urgency I didn't recognize at first, a sharp edge that could cut through whatever lay before him. Fear. But a fear that could be translated into other extremes. And just as these possibilities begin to cloud together around him he retreats into the depths of his chair, his eyes returning to their usual appearance as two undercooked eggs.

''Her?'' I ask. ''And what 'her' would we be speaking of?''

''I don't care if you believe me.''

''Nor do I, Mr. Tripp.''

I stick my bare notepad back into my briefcase and rise to knock for the guard.

''I urge you to consider the seriousness of your situation,'' I say to his back from the safe distance of the door. ''Perhaps the next time we speak you'll have come to appreciate the fact that I'm on your side. That I'm the only one on your side.''

The guard's rubber soles squeaking down the hall to let me out.

''A strange one, I told ya,'' the leprechaun guard says as he walks me to the front doors, but seeing as I have to agree I end up not saying a word.