My Butterfly

Chapter Six The Stars

“Julia,” I whispered as loud as I could. “Julia.”

I took out the few small rocks I had gathered from her driveway and had stuffed into my pocket and thrust one up into the half-open window. Then, I waited.

Nothing happened.

“Julia,” I called out a little louder.

I took a second rock and tossed it up at the glass, then a third. Then, suddenly, I saw a figure in the window. The shadowed outline pushed back the curtains and pressed a forehead against the screen.

“Will?” I heard a soft voice say. “What are you doing?”

“Julia,” I said, trying to keep my voice down.

Her head disappeared from the window for a second and then returned.

“It’s two in the morning,” she said into the screen.

“I know,” I said. “I want to show you something.”

She was quiet for a second.

“Will, it’s two in the morning,” she said again, but this time, she said it with a little more emphasis on the two part.

“Just this once,” I pleaded.

There was a long pause.

“Okay,” she conceded. “I’ll be down there in a minute.”

Her head started to disappear from the screen again.

“No,” I quickly said.

“What?” she asked, returning to the window.

“You’re kidding me?” I asked. “You’ll wake your parents, and they’ll never let me see you again. Just climb out the window.”

There was a long pause again, and I was imagining her giving me a sarcastic look, as if climbing out the window was a better way to her parents’ hearts.

She disappeared again from the window and then returned within a few moments. Then, I heard her fidgeting with the screen, and I smiled.

After a handful of seconds, the screen was out and one of her legs was swung over the windowsill.

“Now, be careful,” I said up to her, still trying to keep my voice down as much as possible.

She rested one foot on the porch roof and then swung the other leg over the sill as well. It was only then that I could fully see her with the help of the rays from the dusk-to-dawn light in the background. She was wearing those tiny boxer shorts that girls wear and a tank top that had the high school’s mascot plastered on the front of it. And there were little flip flop shoes on her feet.

“You don’t do this much, do you?” I asked.

Her eyes met mine with a blank stare.

“Your shoes,” I said, eyeing her feet. “Just be careful. Those don’t tend to be the best shoes for roof-climbin’.”

She tossed a sarcastic, but playful glare my way. Now, I didn’t have to imagine it.

“Now, what do I do?” she asked, perched near the windowsill.

“Just inch your way down,” I said. “I’ll catch you.”

She hesitated for a second, then raised her chin and eyed the ground where I was standing.

“It’s not far, I promise,” I assured her.

She found my eyes again and then hesitantly left the windowsill and used her arms to balance as she slowly shuffled down the tin roof. It took a minute, but she eventually reached the edge and then stopped.

“Come on,” I said, holding out my arms.

Her eyes were planted on the ground, and she looked as if she were frozen.

I threw my hands on my hips.

“If you sit there and stare at it too long, you’ll never jump,” I said.

Her gaze slowly found its way back to me.

“William Stephens,” she softly said, kneeling down closer to the tin, “you better catch me.”

There was a serious demand not only in her words but also in her eyes that now pierced mine. I felt a sly smile start to crawl its way across my face.

“Oh, I will,” I said, holding out my arms again.

She gave me a reprimanding smirk, while I tried to tame my wide grin. Then, she closed her eyes.

“One. Two. Three,” she slowly whispered.

Then, she opened her eyes, took a deep breath and stepped off the roof. I caught her inches before her feet hit the ground and wrapped my arms tightly around her little waist. And the next thing I knew, her lips were inches away from mine. But her eyes were closed, and she was laughing. She made me laugh too, and eventually, she opened her eyes and found mine. Then, her laughter faded into a sweet smile. I wanted to kiss her pretty lips right then. But I didn’t. Instead, I gently set her feet onto the ground and took her hand.

“Come on,” I said.

“Where are we going?” she asked.

I could hear her giggling behind me as I pulled her along.

“You’ll see,” I said.

I led her down the long, gravel driveway. It was dark, but the big light above us made it easier to see our steps.

“How did you get here?” she asked.

“Lou,” I said, stealing a glance at her. “How did you think I got here?”

“Lou?” she asked, scrunching the features of her face together.

“My truck,” I said and then paused. “Or…SUV or main form of transportation — whatever you fancy calling her,” I said, with a sideways grin.

“The girly name,” she exclaimed, as her expression brightened and she nodded her head in slow, exaggerated nods.

I was guessing she was remembering the night of the bonfire and Rachel’s big mouth.

“You named your truck?” she asked, with a wide grin.

I just smiled and shrugged my shoulders.

“Okay, but why Lou?” she asked.

“Why not Lou?” I asked.

“Come on,” she said. “I know you named it…”

She stopped and then started again.

“I mean, I know you named HER after someone.”

I felt my smile start to edge a path up my face.

“Come on,” she said again, lightly shoving my arm. “Who was it — a girl you had a crush on in first grade, on TV?”

I threw my head back and laughed. If that were the case, I would have named the truck Jules. And believe me, I had thought about it, but in the end, decided against it. I had already been stalking her since we were kids; I didn’t need to make it any more obvious.

“No,” I said, shaking my head. “You’re way off.”

She flashed me a baffled look. Her puzzled face was cute, so I drew out the moment studying the perfect way she pushed her lips to one side and peeked through her big eyelashes from squinted eyes. And only after I had memorized her expression, I spoke.

“It was my grandmother’s name,” I said.

I continued to watch her as she paused in thought, maybe, for a moment.

“But isn’t her name Willamina?” she asked.

“No, the other one,” I said. “She passed away before I was born.”

“Oh, right,” she somberly said, while tossing her eyes to the ground.

“Her name was Louisa,” I said, trying to lighten the mood again. “Lou for short.”

Jules looked back up at me and smiled.

“Well, where is Lou, the truck?” she asked.

“On the county road,” I said.

“It’s on the road?” she exclaimed.

Her question fit somewhere in between scolding and surprise.

“I pulled it off to the side, in the field; it’s okay,” I said.

I watched as a smile slowly returned to her parted lips. God, I couldn’t wait to show her my surprise.

We reached my truck a minute later. I made my way over to the passenger’s side door first and pulled it open. She playfully eyed me up and then jumped inside. I closed the door behind her and wondered how many more playful smiles I could take from those lips without kissing them.

Then, I jumped in behind the wheel and made a u-turn back onto the dusty, gravel road.

“Will, seriously, where are we going?” she asked.

I looked over at her. Her eyes were big and bright, and a wide grin hung on her lips. I smiled and returned my focus to the road.

“It’s a surprise,” I said.

I noticed out of the corner of my eye her head fall back against the headrest.

“I hate surprises,” she groaned.

I glanced back over at her.

“No, you don’t,” I said.

I watched then as her head quickly snapped back up and her eyes caught mine.

“When did you become the expert of me?” she asked.

“An expert?” I asked, making sure she caught my teasing stare before I returned my eyes to the gravel road.

“Oh, that was just recently,” I said.

A wide, devious smile danced its way to my face.

“They give that title to ya after ten years of study,” I said.

She tossed her head back and made a sound that resembled either surprise or sarcasm — I wasn’t sure.

“Ten years of study, huh?” she asked.

I found her stare again and gently smiled.

“And they wonder why I’m not so good at math,” I said, shrugging my shoulders.

Her laughter filled the cab. I loved her laugh. I wished sometimes that I could secretly record it and play it back when I needed it the most — like when the school counselor was asking me what I wanted to do with the rest of my life or in the middle of a set of walls during basketball practice or something. Hell, I’d play it back when Mrs. Ritter was on her second piece of chalk in English class too. I was trying to force back a wide smile fighting its way to my lips at the thought when I felt her eyes on me.

“What’s that?” she asked.

“What’s what?”

I glanced over at her. Her eyes were already fixated on a spot behind the wheel.

“That photo in your dashboard,” she said.

I took a quick glance at the dash and then noticed the photo propped up to the right of the speedometer.

“Oh that?” I asked, first eyeing the photo and then her.

She sent me a cocked, sideways smile and then slowly nodded her head.

“That would be Julia Austin Lang — the object of my studies,” I proudly said.

Her crooked smile instantly straightened.

“I’ve made your dashboard,” she said.

I glanced over at her again and caught her happy expression. I couldn’t help but chuckle a little.

“Jules, dear, the center of my dashboard’s nothin’,” I said, sending her a wide grin. “You made the center of my life years ago.”

I could tell she was trying her damnedest to muster up a sarcastic glare, even as her eyes grew softer by the second.

“Get over here, pretty girl,” I said, pushing up the center console and gesturing her to my side.

I returned my eyes to the road and then, seconds later, felt her body collide gently into mine. Then, I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and squeezed her as close as I could to me.

“We’re almost there,” I said, as I felt her head fall against my chest.

I could get used to this.

It was another minute before we crossed over an old creek slab and landed at the edge of civilization. The gravel road pretty much ended there. I pulled to the side so that Lou pointed toward a big, clover field, and I turned off the ignition.

Then, I looked down and found Jules already eyeing me up with those green jewels of hers. And I just knew her smile was asking me what the hell I was doing taking her to a dark, clover field in the middle of the night.

“I swear my intentions are pure,” I said to her, with a soft side-smile.

She laughed into my chest.

“Come on,” I said, leaning into the door. “It’s outside.”

She hesitated but then followed my lead and scooted back over to her door and pulled on the handle. Then, I switched off the lights, and suddenly, the world around us was pitch-black, and I had to stop for a second to let my eyes readjust.

“Will,” she squealed, laughing. “I can’t see a thing.”

“Good,” I said. “Close your eyes and just wait there.”

I rushed to the front of Lou and slid my hand against the grille to feel my way over to the passenger’s side.

When I reached Jules, I took her hand and led her back to the front of the truck. Then, I put a hand on each side of her hips and squared up to her. I couldn’t really see her face — just its outline — but it didn’t stop me from trying. I held her like that for a second, soaking up the way her little hips felt in my hands and how it felt to have her body so near to mine. Then, before it could get awkward, I hoisted her up onto the hood in one, swift motion.

She squealed again.

“Will, what are you doing?” she asked. “Can I open my eyes yet?”

“Not yet,” I said. “Now, don’t move.”

I stepped to the side and hoisted myself onto the hood next to her. Then, I slid back and brought her hips back with me, until we were both resting our backs against the windshield, side by side.

“Okay,” I whispered into her ear. “You can open them.”

My eyes had readjusted, so I could see her face go from blank to wide-eyed in the seconds that it took her to soak up the scene in front of us — all around us. I watched as her lips turned up and her green eyes sparkled the way they did when she was excited about something.

“Wow,” she exclaimed. “It’s beautiful.”

Above and all around us, dashes of light danced against a black background littered with thousands of tiny stars and a sea of fireflies. It was like our own, little light show. And the crickets and tree frogs were our little, country symphony. I took in a deep breath of fresh air and then rested my head back against the windshield.

“You like it?” I asked.

Her eyes left the lights and found my stare.

“I love it,” she said, resting her head on my shoulder.

She was quiet then. I guessed she was watching the fireflies dance in the distance. I, on the other hand, was watching her and the way her fingers played with the edge of my tee shirt at my side and the way her long hair fell in pieces across her shoulders, which had already been tanned by the pre-summer sun.

“So, you really never thought about singing?” she asked, while resting her head back against the windshield again.

Her voice surprised me a little and helped to snap me out of my trance.

“Singing?” I asked.

I turned my face toward hers.

“You know, as a career,” she said.

I chuckled to myself and lowered my head.

“Nah, it’s not for me,” I said.

“Then, what would you like to be if you could be anything?” she asked.

I sat there for a second and thought about it.

“You know, I really don’t know,” I said. “I figure it’ll come to me someday, though.”

She smiled.

“It will,” she said, reassuring me.

“What about you?” I asked. “I’m sure you’ve got plans to take over the world.”

I noticed her smile. It seemed bashful.

“I want to be a lawyer,” she said.

“A lawyer?” I asked.

I know I must have sounded a little surprised.

“Yeah,” she said, smiling. “I’ve wanted to be the same thing since I was eight.”

“That’s pretty young,” I said.

“Yeah,” she said. “I guess so.”

She paused before she continued.

“There was just this guy who helped my dad a long time ago, and I guess I just decided right then and there that I wanted to be whatever he was and help someone else too.”

Her eyes traveled off into the heavens somewhere. She seemed to be lost in another time.

“You think it would have been the doctor, but I guess I never saw the doctor then,” she continued. “It was the lawyer that was there by the time I had gotten there.”

My eyebrows instinctively furrowed.

“What happened to your dad?” I asked.

My words seemed to have snapped her back to the present because her eyes darted back to mine, and a soft smile returned to her face.

“Why did you never ask me out when we were younger?” she asked.

I paused but then smiled.

“I did,” I said, “in my head, a thousand times.”

“What?” she asked, starting to laugh.

“It’s true,” I said.

She lifted her head slightly from the windshield and caught my eye. Her lips were parted, but a smile lingered on them.

“Let’s play a game,” she said.

“Okay,” I said, smiling.

“What’s your favorite sport?” she asked.

I paused for a second.

“Uh, basketball, I guess,” I said.

“Okay. What’s your favorite food?” she continued, without missing a beat.

“Umm, I don’t know. Uh…,” I stuttered.

“Will,” she scolded through her laughter. “The game doesn’t work if you don’t answer the first thing that comes to your head. It’s supposed to be the truth, but you have to do it fast.”

I met her pouty eyes. They seemed to be fighting back a smile.

“Okay, pizza,” I said, flashing her a grin.

“Who are you named after?” she asked.

“My grandmother,” I said.

She stopped, and her eyes slowly traveled to mine.

“You’re named after your grandmother?” she asked, not even bothering to try and hide the teasing grin now slithering its way to her face.

“Well, sort of,” I said.

Her perfect eyebrows darted together.

“Willamina?” she asked.

I nodded my head.

Her eyebrows relented a little, but the grin stayed. I didn’t want to have to tell her the whole story, but it didn’t look as if I had much of a choice. Though, the truth was, I’d do anything she asked me to do — even if it was explain to her how I had come to be named after a woman.

I exaggeratedly sighed through a wide smile.

“It means protection — Willamina,” I said. “My mom said that my grandmother protected my mom and her family and that she protected me and my family, and that someday, I would protect someone special too.”

I watched her lips turn into a warm smile and the features on her face grow soft again.

“That might be the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard,” she said.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” I said. “At least they didn’t name me Willamina.”

“No, I’m serious,” she said, gently sliding her shoulder into mine.

“So, you don’t think I’m less of a man now that you know I’m named after a woman?” I asked.

She laughed a sweet and gentle laugh.

“No, that makes you stronger,” she said, sending me a wink. “And after that story, you couldn’t possibly be less of a man in my eyes.”

I smiled, as my cheeks grew warm.

“Well, what about you?” I asked. “Who are you named after?”

“No one,” she said, laughing. “My mom just liked the name. It means youthful, I think.”

“That fits,” I said.

I so wanted to kiss her.

“The game,” she suddenly exclaimed. “We’re not finished.”

My eyes faltered from hers, and I leaned my head back against the windshield again.

“Okay,” I said, still smiling.

“Okay, what’s your favorite summer job?” she asked.

“Easy. Umpiring,” I quickly replied.

“What do you want to be when you grow up?” she asked.

“Okay, Jules, that one I really don’t know. You know that. Skip,” I pleaded.

“Okay, fine,” she said. “I thought I’d try. But I’ll answer for you — a famous musician.”

One corner of my mouth slid up my face.

“What’s a hobby not many people know you have?” she continued.

“Uh…playing guitar, I guess,” I said.

Who are you going to marry?” she asked.

“You,” I said.

She stopped suddenly. She looked surprised.

“Really?” she asked.

I cocked my head toward her again.

“That surprises you?” I asked.

“I guess I just never really thought that far ahead,” she said, bringing her legs to a bent position.

“You really want to marry me?” she asked.

“Of course I do. Well, if that’s okay with you?” I asked.

My voice had turned shy.

She smiled a happy smile and pressed her head against my shoulder again.

“You want to grow old and wrinkly with me?” she asked, twisting the corner of my shirt tighter around her finger.

I hesitated for a second, which attracted her stare.

“Maybe old, but not wrinkly,” I finally said.

She was wearing a half-smirk by the time I had finished.

“Oh, that’s right,” she said, pinching my side. “I was blessed with the good genes, so that means you’ll have to grow wrinkly on your own.”

I shifted my weight on the hood, then wrapped my arms around her little body and held her as moments flew by like they were speeding trains.

“Look, a shooting star,” she suddenly exclaimed, pointing to the sky above us. “Make a wish.”

I watched her eyes fall shut, causing her nose to rumple. And I kept my stare on her for a second, until her eyelids started to slide open. Then, I quickly shut mine.

I had never wished on a star before, and I wasn’t exactly sure what I was supposed to do, so I just kept my eyes closed and prayed that I would have the courage to finally kiss this girl tonight.

Within a couple of seconds, I felt her tugging at my arm, and I lifted my eyelids to her smiling face.

“What did you wish for?” she asked.

I felt my lips start to turn up at their corners, as my eyes traveled from her eyes down to her lips and then back up to her eyes again. Then, I took a piece of her long hair that had come to rest on the side of her face and tucked it behind her tan shoulder. Something crazy strong was drawing me to her, and I didn’t even try to fight it. My heart pounded. I searched her pretty, green eyes. They seemed to be searching mine too. She was motionless, but on her face was this beautiful smile that I could never do justice by simply describing. It was happy and comfortable and sexy, and it was as if it were daring me to do exactly what I craved to do. I brought my face closer to hers, until my lips were hovering over her lips and I could feel her soft, steady breaths. I stayed there for several seconds, taking all of her in — her fiery eyes; the way her lips parted ever so slightly, giving way to her sexy, little smile; and the subtle, familiar scent of the perfume she always wore. Then, I closed my eyes and pressed my lips against hers. Her lips were soft and full and warm to the touch. They were perfect, and they made my heart race, but they also made me feel so at home. How could something I had never done feel so natural?

I brought my hand to the side of her face and gently rested it there. Then, I slipped my tongue into her mouth, and I kissed her as if my life depended on it. I think I was kissing her for all those years I hadn’t kissed her. And if I hadn’t known better, I would have thought she were kissing me for all the years I hadn’t kissed her too because she kissed me like she wanted me — like I was the only guy she desired. It made my heart race faster, and I couldn’t get enough of it. In fact, my heart was still pounding against the walls of my chest when my lips finally broke from hers — and only because I needed a second to catch my breath. I would have kissed her forever.

“You gonna be my butterfly?” I whispered, resting my lips against her ear.

“Your butterfly?” she whispered back.

I met her pretty eyes again. They seemed to be smiling — just like her pretty lips.

“Yeah, you’re as beautiful as a butterfly, and you know you want to be,” I playfully coaxed her.

She softly laughed, forcing her tan shoulders slightly forward.

“Well, you’ve never asked it that way,” she said.

“Does that officially mean yes?” I asked her, not even bothering to hide my wide grin.

She paused for a moment, as if to drag out my torment. I was learning that she was pretty good at that and also that I didn’t so much mind it.

A quick glance down revealed a glimpse of her hand, and the next thing I knew I was intertwining my fingers in hers.

“That means yes,” she softly confessed, allowing her gaze to fall to our hands.

My grin grew wider, and I lowered my eyes again too before meeting her stare.

“That’s what I’ve waited my whole life to hear,” I said.

She smiled her sweet smile. Then, I kissed her pretty forehead, and we both fell back onto the windshield again, her hand still intertwined in mine.

“You never told me what you wished for,” she whispered into my ear moments later.

I turned on my side and faced her.

“Well, since it came true, I guess I can tell you. That is how it goes, right?” I asked.

“Of course,” she said, confidently nodding her head.

“Well then, I wished for my first kiss — but only if it could be with you,” I said.

I watched her lips break into a smile again. Then, she brought our locked hands close to her mouth and kissed the back of my hand before returning her attention to the heavens.

I couldn’t help but smile as I followed with my eyes a firefly making its path across the front of the truck. The firefly eventually disappeared behind a tree, leaving me to my thoughts and to my ultimate conclusion, which was that someone could surely try, but I was pretty sure that he couldn’t convince me that life could get any better than it was right now.

“What did you wish for?” I asked, eventually breaking the silence.

Her eyes brightened.

“I can’t tell you,” she said. “Mine hasn’t come true yet.”

I held my stare on her for a second longer. Then, I chuckled and kissed her soft lips again. They were still perfect.

“Will you tell me what it is when it does?” I whispered near her ear, after I had withdrawn my lips from hers.

I watched her as she seemed to toss the idea around in her head for a moment.

“Yes,” she eventually said.

“You promise?” I asked.

“I promise,” she said.

I nodded in satisfaction, smiled and then returned my head to the windshield.

“Jules,” I said then.

She turned her face toward mine, and I locked my eyes in hers.

“I’m glad you said yes,” I said.

She was quiet for a moment.

“Me too,” she said.