Myth-Chief

SEVENTEEN

The Cake ceremony in Octaroo went off without a single problem. Hermalaya was given free rein over the castle kitchens, and turned out a cake that outdid her previous efforts. The royal purple icing decorations seemed to defy gravity. Bobbie Jo and her fellow clan chiefs were dazzled by the rituals as

well as the food. As a courtesy to her fellow monarch, I was invited to participate in the event. I did better than the locals in Pin-the-tail-on-the-Dragon, but I was far outclassed in Musical Chairs. The seats had to be placed several yards apart so that the Octaroobles weren't able to cover several at once in anticipation of the music ceasing, and I just couldn't keep up. Not that I minded. I was getting used to the spiderlike characteristics of my hosts, but I was just as happy to get out of their way. In an effort to win, they threw hanks of web at one another when their hostess wasn't looking or stretched out those long legs to trip each other. Hermalaya, as always, held herself with extreme dignity.

Neither of us knew for certain whether Bobbie Jo would add a little to the beleaguered Foxe-Swampburg treasury, but we hoped for the best. At my suggestion Hirame brought in a small box tied with ribbons to be presented to Hermalaya at the conclusion of the ceremony. It would contain whatever gold coins—or none at all—that she chose to donate to Hermalaya. I was aware my contest with Aahz relied on what the nobles contributed, but I just couldn't bring myself to sully the moment with the mention of money. I was just as sure that wouldn't stop Aahz. I had to be me, though. I wouldn't do just what he would do to win.

When they emerged from the ceremonial chamber clutching their tiny boxes filled with magik glitter dust, everybody was in a great mood. They couldn't stop talking about the experience. When Hermalaya completed the last, private elements of ceremony and came out into the main hall, they gave her a round of hoots, the local equivalent of applause.

"Why, thank you all," Hermalaya said, beaming at all of them. She looked weary but happy.

"I believe that even the Homdom of Benos has never been transported like that," one of the chiefs exclaimed. "Marvelous!"

"I bet he'd love it," Bobbie Jo said. "Here, let me give you a letter of introduction to him." She sent a page scuttling away for paper and ink.

"If I may make a suggestion," Hirame said, raising one furry finger. He had a streak of purple icing on his cheek. One taste of Hermalaya's layer cake had made him a firm ally of all things Reynardan. "Sebellum Oatis might be interested in such an experience."

"Who's he?" Massha asked.

"Well, he's not a monarch or world leader, though we've hosted him here a bunch of times," Bobbie Jo said. "He's stinking rich. He's in agriculture. He raises choconuts."

"That Oatis?" I asked. I had eaten choconuts. They were an absolutely addictive confection for sale in most civilized dimensions. "I didn't realize they were grown. I thought they were manufactured."

"No, sir, purely natural," Hirame said. "My cousin is his chief financial officer. Oatis has over four million acres on Pocalis. If you are looking for... monetary emoluments ... he is someone you should approach."

"The Tanager family would love to meet you," a male chief boomed out.

"Lord Fetzaf—he's the chancellor of the exchequer of Simelian," an elderly chief suggested. "The Satnos of Simelian's gone completely senile. Fetzaf s been running the place for years. He LOVES cake."

Everybody else chimed in with suggestions. Hermalaya, Massha, Nunzio and I left with a pile of introductions.

"That was great!" I said. "How do you feel?"

"Tired but happy," Hermalaya said. "I feel as if I created some harmony in that place."

"Well, you scored something for the balance sheet," I said happily. I offered her the little box, which jingled appealingly. "Do you want to open it?"

The little box contained a hundred gold coins.

"Oh!" Hermalaya said, her large brown eyes welling with tears. "She's so generous! I could just cry?"

"Don't do that, honey," Massha said, offering a bright orange handkerchief to the girl. "This is just the beginning."

We arrived back in my office in high spirits. I bowed the ladies out into the anteroom, where Bunny was seated at the desk, filing her nails. Guido and Nunzio, who was trying to get Gleep to sit up for a fried lizard leg, both stood up as we entered.

"Guess how we did?" I asked.

"Shh!" Bunny hissed. She tilted her head toward the other room. I heard voices inside. I raised an eyebrow. Bunny shook her head.

I shrugged and passed over the box of money, along with other gifts the Octarooble chiefs had heaped on us when we left. Bunny looked them over carefully. She opened our ledger to a new page with my name on it and dipped a pen in indelible ink, one that neither Aahz nor I could alter with any spell available anywhere in the Bazaar. She wrote the number 117. I felt a swell of pride. Guido took charge of the money, tucking the small box into the breast of his well-cut pin-striped coat.

"Nice job, Boss," he said. He looked guilty for a moment. '"I mean, Skeeve."

"And there'll be more where that came from, too... Uh, has Aahz chalked up anything yet?" I asked in a quiet voice, trying not to sound eager.

Bunny frowned at me. "I don't think you need to know that. I'll tell you when it's all over."

"You are coming home tonight to stay with me in Possiltum," Massha told Hermalaya. "Skeeve and I both think it's better if you go somewhere with hot-and-cold-running guards. Queen Hemlock won't mind putting up one noble-woman, particularly one without an entourage who can make pastry."

"Why, thank you kindly, but I'd rather be handy to Mister Skeeve?" Hermalaya said, with an appealing look at me that made my chest swell. "I am relying on him as my protector?"

"We really don't have any lodgings good enough for a princess, even one in exile," I said.

"That doesn't really matter," Hermalaya said, raising hopeful eyes to me. "I'd just feel better if I..."

"Let's go see a couple of people here in the Bazaar to start," Aahz was saying as he pushed the door aside to let

Tananda and his client step through. I was surprised to see that Aahz's client was another Swamp Fox, this time a male with curly black fur and glasses perched on his long nose.

My surprise was nothing compared with his. He halted in the doorway and gawked openly, then dipped into a deep and courtly bow.

"Why, princess," the Fox said. "I must say I never expected to see you here."

Hermalaya sprang to her feet. She balled up her fists.

"Well, I didn't think it mattered to you anymore where I was after you showed me my own border, you terrible man!"

"Border?" I asked. "Is this ... your prime minister? The usurper?"

The black-haired Swamp Fox was aghast. "Terrible? I don't mean to be terrible!"

"Well, that's just what you are," Hermalaya declared, putting her long nose in the air. "How else do you want me to think of you?"

"Well, never as anything but respectful, ma'am. You've got to understand where I've been coming from...."

"Princess?" Aahz asked, his eyes narrowing. "No kidding! That's the little spendthrift herself?"

Hermalaya's eyes went wide with shock. "Spendthrift! Is that what you think of me! How dare you!" She recoiled with dignity. "How can you expect me to remain here for one more moment with that man! You're right, Miss Massha, I don't feel safe here any longer. Take me away! This minute, if you don't mind!"

"But, I..." Matfany began.

Massha gave us all a reproachful look and blinked out, with Hermalaya in tow. Aahz pushed the black-haired Swamp Fox toward the door.

"Wait for me outside," he said. Tananda grabbed Matfany's arm and towed him away. Aahz turned around, the orange veins throbbing in his eyes with fury. Both of us rounded on Bunny.

"You knew," I accused her. "You knew they knew each other. You knew you were setting us against each other head to head!"

Bunny tossed her head. "Of course I knew. I thought it was kind of poetic, having the two of you handle opposing sides of a sticky issue. She came in ahead of him by not more than a couple of minutes. She told me her problem, and I sent her in to see you, Skeeve. I had no idea the Swamp Fox behind her was her former prime minister, but once he told me what he was there for, I couldn't resist handing him over to you, Aahz. What are the odds that the two of them would arrive here on the same day at the same time, looking for help with the same problem? It's fate!" She blinked her long lashes at us.

"I don't believe in fate," Aahz snarled.

"Neither do I," I growled.

"Tough," Bunny said, folding her arms over her ample chest. "You both want to be president of M.Y.T.H., Inc. The agreement was that you have to take the assignment and do your best with it. You don't have forever."

"But his client's a black-hearted throne-stealer!" I exclaimed, pointing at Aahz.

His scaly hand pointed directly at me. "His is a brain-less party girl who fiddled while Foxe-Swampburg fell apart!"

Bunny shook her head. "You know nothing's ever just black-and-white. Now, get going!"

With a fierce glare at me, Aahz stomped out. Guido gave us an apologetic shrug and followed him. Bunny looked up at me.

"You, too."

"But this is my office!" I protested.

She shook her head. "This is neutral territory, and it's going to stay that way until all this is over. Go with him, Nunzio." She pointed toward the door.

"Yes, Boss," he said. "I mean, Miss Bunny." The Mob enforcer took my arm. "C'mon. You know there's no arguing with her when she's being organized. We'll go see what Chumley's scared up."

With a groan, I went.