Nero

35

A few days later, however, having evidently reconsidered the wisdom of implicating a public figure, Lucius and his new advisers had Octavia accused of adultery with one of her own slaves. Even so, they had underestimated the Roman mob, who unlike our pusillanimous Senate had no hesitation at all in expressing their disapproval, and gleefully treated us to six days of street riots. Poppaea was terrified; not so much of the mob itself but that Lucius, being the complete coward he was, might give in and dismiss the charge.

There were problems, too, with proof. Even under torture most of Octavia's slaves refused to give the necessary evidence. In the end, Lucius suddenly announced that the real adulterer had confessed. The guilty party, he revealed to a bemused Senate and people, was Anicetus.

I was one of the few people who wasn't surprised. The notorious seducer had told me so himself when I'd bumped into him coming out of the palace the day before.

I hadn't seen Anicetus since Agrippina's murder. With his two-day stubble and general appearance (and odour) of having slept in his clothes for a month he looked even more ineffectual than ever.

'Petronius!' He grabbed my arm. 'Oh, thank the gods for a friendly face! You've got to believe me! I never touched her!'

The guards on the gate were sniggering, and I caught the tail-end of a ribald comment.

'No, darling,' I said. 'Of course you didn't. Now who exactly are we talking about?'

He was hopping from one foot to the other as if he had a full bladder and was ten miles from a latrine.

'Octavia, of course! Nero — '

I'd heard enough. I put my hand over his mouth and frog-marched the little Greek out of the gates past the now-rigid guards. Even soldiers — not the brightest intellects in the empire — know when to play deaf.

We found a quiet bit of wall and I let him go.

'Now, Anicetus,' I said. 'What's all this about?'

'I had to promise, you see.' He was shivering. 'Otherwise he'd've had me executed anyway. And Sardinia isn't so bad.'

'That's a matter of opinion, darling. Now control yourself and start from the beginning.'

He took a deep breath and let it out, filling the air round us with the sharp smell of wine and anchovies.

'You know I'm still Commander of the Fleet at Misenum?' he said.

'Of course.' Lord Serapis knew why; the poor radish couldn't've commanded a rowing boat.

'Well, a message came three days ago ordering me to Rome. I was surprised because I've hardly seen the emperor for years, not since…not since…' He bit his lip.

'Not since you killed his mother. Yes, I know.'

'It wasn't my fault! I didn't have any choice! You were there, you heard — '

I sighed. 'Anicetus, will you please get a grip on yourself, dear, and tell me what happened.'

'I'm sorry. I'm just…' He took another deep breath. 'I came straight here. Nero was quite friendly, really, he gave me a cup of wine and we chatted about this and that. Old times, you know? Then suddenly Poppaea said — '

'Poppaea was there?'

He looked at me as if I were the one who was being stupid. 'Oh, yes, of course. And Tigellinus. He's a dreadful man, Petronius, simply dreadful!'

'I know, dear. Go on. So Poppy said…?'

'She said, "Oh, get on with it!" and Nero said, "I hear you've been making love to my ex-wife." Only he didn't say "making love" he said — '

'Anicetus, please!' I was trying to keep my fingers from his throat.

'I'm sorry.' He swallowed. 'I'm sorry. It's just I can't…Anyway, I just gaped at him, naturally, because I'd never even met Octavia. Tigellinus laughed, the way he does, and said, "I'd admit it if I were you, sunshine. It'll save a lot of trouble in the long run."'

'Yes, it probably would.' Two senators passed, walking in the direction of the gate. They looked away when they saw us, and increased their speed. 'So the emperor made a deal with you.'

'Hardly a deal. He gave me a straight choice. Either I admit that Octavia seduced me to get at the fleet or he'd tell the Senate that we were both plotting treason and have me executed. Petronius, what could I do?'

'Nothing.' I looked at him. As an adulterer the poor dear was already a joke; to charge him with treason would've been utterly farcical. Lucius must be desperate. 'And he promised you a comfortable exile in exchange? In, the gods help us, Sardinia?'

'Sardinia's a nice place. In summer, anyway. And at least it's quiet, so I can get on with my writing.'

'What about Octavia?'

He shrugged; I could have hit him. 'She's being exiled as well.'

'Where to?'

'Pandateria.'

'Serapis!' Pandateria is a tiny island off the Campanian coast, a favourite dumping-ground for unwanted members of the imperial family. The trip is usually one-way. 'He said that? Lucius?'

'No, Poppaea. The emperor looked surprised, but he didn't correct her.'

'So you go trotting off to retirement in Sardinia as the innocent party while Octavia's accused of treason and gets Pandateria.' I realised I was gripping the man's mantle hard at the neck. I relaxed my fingers. 'It sounds like a fair deal to me, darling.'

'Petronius, I'm not to blame!' Anicetus's voice was shrill. 'She'd've been sent there anyway, whether I agreed or not! It's not my fault Nero wants rid of her!'

I suddenly felt tired. I hadn't thought that Lucius was capable of a protracted cruelty like Pandateria even in one of his mad moods; and certainly not when he was rational. But then the emperor was no longer the man I knew.

'No,' I said. 'No, dear, it isn't your fault. But I mustn't keep you. I suppose you'll be going back now to Misenum to pack.'

'I only wanted someone to know that I was innocent.' For the first time Anicetus looked more indignant than frightened: a puffed-up little figure with inky fingers and a weak chin. 'They'll say I did it, but I didn't. You can tell everyone that for me, Petronius. Explain that I really never touched her.'

'Well, at least you can rest easy on that score, darling,' I said. 'No one would believe anything else.'

Then I left him for my overdue meeting with the emperor.

I didn't see Anicetus again. He spent a comfortable two years in Sardinia enjoying the delicacies that Lucius supplied him with and writing monographs on the lesser-known Greek lyricists, before dying peacefully(and perhaps conveniently) in his sleep. Octavia wasn't so lucky. Only a few days after her transfer to Pandateria she was followed by a picked group of Tigellinus's Praetorians. They bound her and slit her wrists; then, because terror made the blood flow too slowly, they carried her into the steam-room of the island's tiny baths where the heat and humidity were increased until she suffocated. Her head was brought back for Poppaea to see. She was not quite, I think, twenty years old.

I don't know whether Lucius knew these details or not. If he did, he never mentioned them.