Satisfaction Guaranteed

Chapter 6

Idiot. Imbecile. Ninny. Blockhead. Dimwit. Dope. Dumbbell. Dummy. Nitwit. Numskull. Pinhead. Birdbrain. How many words for stupid were there? Not enough.

Beth rolled in her bed, the silk sheets mocking her with their sensual feel, her body tense with unspent passion. She’d had the man who embodied her most intense fantasies in her bedroom…his hard penis jutting from his body in desire for her, and she’d sent him away. Okay, so she didn’t want to get involved with him, not long term…but was she nuts?

He’d accused her at dinner of being afraid to live. He said she was a dreamer, not a doer. Or something close enough to it. Was he right? She thought maybe he was. What other explanation did she have for not jumping at the chance to make wild passionate love with him?

Well maybe it would be sex and not love, but wasn’t that better than always dreaming and never doing? He’d asked why she’d never left D.C. since she felt like she didn’t fit in here. The true answer was that she was afraid to try to make a life for herself somewhere else. But why? What could be worse than knowing her own parents thought she was an alien? Or as good as.

She could get a job somewhere else…live somewhere else. But she was afraid. Afraid to live in any real sense.

Why?

She couldn’t think straight enough to answer her own inner demand. Her body was screaming with sexual hunger left unsatisfied. It was not a good feeling.

She looked at the clock and blinked, but the numbers stayed the same. It was nearly two A.M. and she was too excited to sleep. She could touch herself-would probably end up doing so-but right now she was so mad at herself for being such a wuss, she wouldn’t give herself the relief.

Her eyes filmed with tears. It hurt to disappoint yourself.

The phone rang and she lurched up in bed to check the caller ID. Middle of the night calls usually meant trouble. Had something happened with her mom or dad? The digital readout on the back of the phone read Crane, E. It was Ethan!

She snatched it up on the second ring. “Hello?”

“You awake?” he asked in that low rumble she found so sexy.

“If I wasn’t, I am now.”

“Were you?” he pressed, giving her no out with flippancy.

She sighed. “Yes.”

“Me, too.”

“Why?”

“I got hot and bothered over a very sexy woman with surprisingly kinky tendencies and I can’t get the image of her pretty little panties out of my brain.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m not.”

“Oh…I’m not wearing any panties now.” Somehow, she didn’t think that would help the situation, but the words had just slipped out.

He groaned and she smiled, in spite of herself.

“I’m not wearing anything,” he said in a dark voice that made her shiver.

“Um…” She swallowed. “Me either. Well, except a gold silk sheet.” She hated any kind of restriction when she slept.

“You’re killing me here, baby.”

“I don’t mean to.”

“I know…you’re just having a hard time deciding what you want.”

“I know what I want.”

“You didn’t when I left your apartment.”

“I wanted you then, but I was afraid.”

“Of what?”

“Living.” She sighed. “I guess you were right. I am more of a dreamer than a doer.”

“What scares you so much about living?”

That was easy. “Getting hurt.”

“Pain reminds us that we are alive.”

“I suppose.”

“It’s also a good reminder not to take the times of pleasure for granted.”

A man who practiced extreme sports in his free time and whose job routinely put his life on the line would think like that.

“I spent a lot of my childhood daydreaming. It was more fun than dwelling on real life.” It had hurt less, too. “I guess I never got out of the habit.”

“What did you fantasize about?”

“Having two parents who loved me, having a real family.”

“Your parents do love you, Sunshine.”

“Yes, but when I was little, I wasn’t convinced of it.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want pity, Ethan. They never abused me, or set out to hurt me.”

“But they did hurt you, and now you find it easier to expect nothing from life but your fantasies.”

He was right, but she’d admitted that once tonight. She wasn’t going to say so again. Besides, he might not realize it, but for a woman who had prided herself on her honesty, realizing she’d lived most of her life in a dream world wasn’t a happy thing.

“I tried once to live the dream, but it exploded in my face.” She wasn’t sure if she was defending herself to herself or to him.

“What dream?”

“The get-married-and-have-a-real-family one.”

“What happened?”

“He stood me up at the altar.”

Ethan said a very bad word.

She winced…but not from his curse. She hadn’t intended to tell him about her aborted engagement. In fact, she’d been firm in her desire to keep it all in the past where it belonged, but apparently late-night phone conversations weren’t good for her resolve. Her room was dark around her. No one was there but her and the kittens sleeping in their cushy little bed on the other side of the room. The phone tucked next to her ear felt more like part of a dream than a reality…and therefore safe.

“I didn’t date a lot in college,” she admitted, not sure why the words were still spilling out. “I was shy.”

“Afraid.”

“That, too.”

“How did you meet him?”

“I was the investment counselor assigned to his stock portfolio. I didn’t find out he was an agent until we were on our fifth date. By then, I liked him. A lot. I didn’t want to stop dating. He’d told me he worked for the government like half of D.C. and I even understood why he waited to tell me he was an agent. The fact he trusted me with the information that early made me feel special. We fell in love. Or I thought we did. But I don’t think you can stand up your bride at the altar if you really love her. Do you?”

“Why did he stand you up?” Ethan asked instead of answering.

“He was on an assignment. He wasn’t supposed to be, but a former case reopened and his role was key. He thought he’d be done before the wedding, but he didn’t get back into the country until three days after. He didn’t call either…he just didn’t show up.”

“Maybe he couldn’t call.”

“That’s what he said, but it doesn’t matter, does it? If our upcoming marriage had really mattered to him, he would have found a way.”

“Maybe…”

She knew the maybes and she even understood them, but they didn’t change anything. “It doesn’t matter. Being stood up at the altar made me realize our relationship was never going to go where I needed it to.”

“You gave up the dream because it wasn’t perfect.”

The tears that had filled her eyes spilled over, but she concentrated on keeping them from her voice. “You could put it that way but, Ethan…do you know what it’s like to wonder if you matter at all to the people who are supposed to love you? I really didn’t want that for any children I might have. I didn’t want it for me any longer.”

She hadn’t been strong enough and she had to face that, not that it would change anything.

“Are you okay, Beth?”

“I’m fine.”

“You sound like you’re crying.”

She took a deep breath and got her feelings under control before talking again. “I’m fine. Really. Just tired.”

“And horny.”

She laughed, the sound choked. “That, too.”

“Between your ex-fiancé and your dad, they convinced you that agents make lousy long-term partners, didn’t they?”

“I was convinced of it before Alan and I met, but I took a chance.” Not that she’d had much choice. By the time she’d learned he was an agent, she was already on the way to being head over heels in love with him. Her mom’s advice had been sound, but she’d had no opportunity in that relationship to apply it. “It didn’t play out like I’d hoped.”

“Alan Hyatt is the man you almost married?” Ethan demanded in a voice that was a cross between a growl and shouting.

His inexplicable anger traveled across the phone lines, perversely increasing her excitement. Was there something wrong with her that his darker emotions sparked sexual need in her? She wanted to tame the savage beast…with her body.

Talk about kinky.

“Yes, now you know what we share in our past.” At least Ethan’s curiosity should be satisfied. “I think that’s why my dad hired him and didn’t tell me beforehand. I’m just guessing, but I have a feeling Dad was hoping seeing Alan again would spark dormant feelings in me.”

“Did it?” Definitely a growl.

Wow. “Do you think I would have flashed you with my panties tonight if it had?” she asked softly.

“Maybe.”

“I’m not like that.”

“So, you have no feelings for him.”

“None.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yes.”

“How many lovers have there been since him?”

“This is getting personal.”

“It crossed that line when I dropped my pants and showed you my raging hard-on.”

She gasped.

A dark chuckle sent tremors rippling through some very interesting places in her body.

“So, how many?”

“None.”

“Why?”

“It was easier and safer to daydream.” And she’d only wanted one man since her broken engagement. Ethan. Definitely safer to daydream about him.

But was safe all it was cracked up to be?

“What about before him?”

“What is this? Are you trying to decide if I have enough experience to be an eligible partner for the Stud?”

“No, I’m trying to get to know you better, baby. Now answer the question.”

“How come your version of getting to know me has so much to do with sex?”

“What do you mean?”

“You went through my panties drawer.”

“And your shoe rack…and your bookshelf.”

Point taken. Maybe she was the one with sex on the brain. “I was a virgin before I met Alan.”

“Isn’t that a little archaic?”

“I don’t know. It was right for me. I told you I didn’t date much.”

“So, you want to wait until you have another very committed relationship before having sex again?”

That had been her plan, but now she thought it could stand to be improved upon. After all, she was starting to doubt that a long-term very committed relationship was ever going to happen.

She took the plunge. “No. I want to have sex with you.”

“And you don’t want a commitment with me. Because I’m an agent.”

“Even if you were an insurance adjuster, I think you’d scare me, Ethan. You’re not the kind of guy who could stay with the same woman very long. Especially one like me.”

“There’s a first time for everything.”

It was a throw-away remark and she refused to take it as anything else. She knew Ethan agreed with her. He’d already said he didn’t want to get into a long-term relationship, but he did want her. He’d called her in the middle of the night because he couldn’t sleep for wanting her.

Maybe she would get a chance to make those fantasies come true after all. This time, she wasn’t looking for the perfect rendition of her dream either. She wasn’t going to let the limits of their relationship hurt. Because she wasn’t going to fall in love with him. She wasn’t that stupid.

“I want you, Ethan.”

“No doubts?”

“None.” Well, mostly none. None that she was going to share with him. None that were going to get in the way of her actually living, not just thinking about it, for a change.

“Damn, baby…we both have to work tomorrow, but it might be worth coming over. We could call in sick tomorrow.”

“I can’t. Neither can you. I’ve got to get things ready for when I’m gone and you’ve got a case to work on.” She wasn’t just looking for excuses either. Things were happening so fast, she really could not afford to call in sick. She’d end up letting people down and she hated that.

“You’re a heavy task master, Sunshine.”

“I don’t mean to be.” She wished she could dismiss her responsibilities, just this once.

Because her body was throbbing with needs she’d never felt, even when she’d been at her most involved with Alan. She moved restlessly in the bed and wondered how much courage she had. She wasn’t a scaredy-cat…she really wasn’t. But she was a dreamer and it was past time she became a doer.

“We could…”

“Yeah?” One word said in that deep Texas drawl and she shuddered.

She wanted this. She hoped he would, too. “We could talk to each other…dirty…on the phone.”

“Are you propositioning me for phone sex, little Beth?” He didn’t sound amused. He sounded aroused. Hot. Like he definitely liked the idea.

And that gave her the courage to whisper, “Yes,” into the phone.

He choked out another curse. “Put the phone on speaker mode and get comfortable, baby.”

Speaker mode? The idea shocked her, but then she laughed at her own embarrassment. Who was going to hear? The kittens? She did as he said, sliding against the cool silk sheets until she was lying on her back, her breasts rising and falling with each rapid breath.

“Are you comfortable, sweetheart?”

“Yes. What about you?”

His answer was to laugh. “Oh, yeah.”

“Are you touching yourself?” she dared to ask.

“My hand is wrapped around my cock and I’m pretending it’s your fingers making me ache like this.”

“Oh…” Her hands clenched and unclenched as she wished she were the one touching his big erection. “Rub it up and down.”

He moaned. “I keep doing that and I’m not going to last long. You’d better make it even.”

“Touch myself?”

“Yes. Now, Beth.” His voice resonated with command.

He couldn’t see her, but she felt like she was doing something horribly intimate right in front of him. She’d asked for this though, and she wasn’t going to back out. She wanted this intimacy, even if it felt strange and a little scary.

Shaking from a combination of desire and nerves, she slid her hand between her thighs and lightly brushed her pubic hair. Pleasure arced through her feminine center. She moaned.

“You touching yourself, baby?” His voice sounded hoarse.

“Yes.”

“Where?”

He wanted specifics? “My hair…down there.”

“Not your lips yet?”

“No.” But she could feel her wetness on the short curls and knew she wouldn’t last long before swirling a fingertip over her clitoris.

“Don’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because I told you not to.”

While most of her fantasies had centered around him tied to her bed at her mercy, this dominance game excited her so much she could barely breathe. “What if I want to?”

“Do you? Are you hungry to slide one little finger between your swollen folds and check to see how wet you are? That’s what I’d do right now if I was there. Then I’d taste it.”

She gasped.

He laughed. Oh, gosh…how did a man’s laugh carry such dark and sexy overtones?

“I’m not tasting myself.”

“We’ll leave that for a time when I can watch.”

She wasn’t sure about that, but she was too excited to argue. “What now?” she asked, giving him unspoken permission to be in charge. For now.

“I want you to touch your breasts so I can picture you doing it. And tell me what you are doing every single step of the way.”

Heat surged between her legs as she complied. “I’m sliding both my hands up my body…slowly,” she dared to tease and was rewarded by a masculine sound of approval. “Now, I’m cupping myself and squeezing. It feels good.”

“Are you fantasizing it’s my hands touching you?”

“Yes.” She sighed out a moan. “But your hands are bigger.”

“Yes, they are. And stronger…though I would never use that strength to hurt.”

“I know.” She kneaded her breasts, finding the stimulation twice as erotic because she knew he was thinking of her doing it.

“You have beautiful, soft breasts.” His drawl was so enticing, hearing it was almost enough to make her climax. “But I’ve only seen them through clothes. Tell me what they look like.”

“You want me to describe my breasts?”

“Yes.” Absolutely certain. No hesitation. “Do it, baby.”

She thought back to what she saw when she looked in the mirror after a shower. “They’re round and the nipples tilt up, not straight out.”

“More.”

What more could she say? “They’re breasts, Ethan. I don’t have any distinguishing marks. No freckles, or anything.”

“What color are your nipples?”

“Uh…brownish pink. They’re dark.”

“Are they that color right now?”

“I don’t know. I don’t have a light on.”

“You’re lying in the dark, talking to me on the phone and touching yourself?”

“Yes.”

“I like knowing that.”

“Do you have a light on?”

“No. I want to picture you, nothing else.”

“Oh.” Wow.

“Do they turn red when you get excited?”

“My nipples?”

“Yes.”

She tried to think back to a time when she might have noticed and remembered something Alan had said once when they were making love. Something about how he knew she was getting close because her nipples were red like ripe raspberries. “Yes, they turn red like ripe berries.”

“I bet they taste just as sweet.”

“You’re going to find out…tomorrow night.” It was the first sexual promise she’d ever made.

Even when she’d been with Alan, she’d kept so much of her sensuality locked up. She’d been afraid to let him know her deepest desires and that somehow if she expressed too much of her desire, they would come popping out. With Ethan, she didn’t care. Maybe because he’d played a starring role in those fantasies for so long.

And he already knew about the handcuffs.

“I can’t wait, baby.”

“You have to.”

He laughed, the sound harsh. “You like to tease, don’t you?”

“I think I do.”

“I know it.”

“I’m teasing myself right now.” The way she was stimulating her breasts and nipples was increasing her excitement to the point where she could barely breathe. She needed more.

“Good. Are your nipples hard?”

“Very.”

“And swollen?”

She rolled them between her thumbs and forefingers. Definitely engorged. “Yesss…”

“Do they hurt?”

“Do you want them to?”

“Only in a good way.”

“What good way?”

“I want you to be in pain for my touch.”

“I am.”

“Damn…Beth…you slay me.” His words came out between gasping breaths.

She wasn’t the only one who needed more.

“Would your breasts fill my hands?”

“I don’t think so…I’m only a C cup.”

“And I have long fingers.”

“Yes.” Fingers she couldn’t wait to have on her body.

“I can’t wait to play…” His words trailed off in a masculine groan. “Don’t stop, baby. Tell me what else you’re doing. What you like.”

She squeezed her thighs together and released in an instinctive rhythm that increased her desire, but could not sate it. “I’m kneading them…kind of hard now. I like it gentle at first and hard later.”

The only sound on the other end of the line was his heavy breathing. It excited her to think she was affecting him so strongly.

“I’m brushing circles around my nipples now, but I’m not touching myself there anymore. I’m teasing myself, but I want it…” She moaned as she allowed one fingertip to brush across a turgid nipple. “They’re hard and achy…they’ve been that way all night because of you.”

“You’re killing me.” He sounded tortured all right.

It was one of her favorite fantasies.

She smiled. “I’m pinching my nipples now. Hard. And playing with them…it feels so good. I wish you were here to suck on them. I’d want you to use your teeth.”

“Not at first,” he said in a charged voice. “At first you’d want that gentle, too, but the more excited you got the more you’d want me to do it hard and with my teeth.”

“Yessss,” she hissed again.

“Put one hand between your legs, baby. Touch your labia and your clitoris. Feel the silky wetness I’m craving right now.”

“Are you sure you want me to?”

“Yes. Do it, Beth. I’m not going to last and I want to come together.”

“You’re a bossy lover.”

“I can be.”

“So can I.” At least she wanted to. “Squeeze the base of your penis.”

“It’s not going to help.”

“Do it anyway.”

He growled. “Fine. I’m squeezing. Now, what about you? Are you touching yourself like I told you to?”

She slid her hand down her stomach until her middle finger slipped between the slippery folds of her labia. It was hot and wetter than she could ever remember being. “Yes.”

“Tell me what it feels like.”

She circled her clitoris, then rubbed lightly and moaned. “It’s so soft…like satin, but hot and very wet. My lips are swollen…my clit feels hard, but it’s not big.”

She’d read about women who protruded, but she wasn’t one of them…even at her most excited.

“You’re delicate.”

“If you say so.” She could barely think. Couldn’t really make sense of words at the moment. She was so close.

“Can you make yourself come without putting a finger inside?”

“Yes…but…”

“I want you to do that…I want you to feel empty and waiting for me to fill you up tomorrow night.”

“Oh…Ethan…I want that, too.”

“Good.”

She found a rhythm she liked with her fingers. It was hard not to dip lower, but she loved that he’d told her not to. It added an edge to everything…made it more real, as if he were there with her.

The only sound in the room was that of their combined breathing until she gasped, “Ethan…I’m going to…”

“Come for me, baby. Come now.”

And she did, crying out his name and listening to his groan of release over the phone close to her ear on the pillow. He said her name softly, almost reverently, then moaned again…and then nothing. Just breathing and silence.

She didn’t know how long they were like that, but finally he asked, “Are you there?”

“Yes.” The word was slurred.

“You tired, baby?”

“Um…mmm…”

“Turn off the phone and go to sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Good night, Ethan.”

“Good night, Sunshine.”

She pressed the button on the phone to turn it off and then turned on her side, curling into her usual sleeping position without worrying about putting it back on the cradle.