Shadowed

Chapter 21

Jase took a moment to relax his shoulders before knocking on the prophet’s door. She opened before he could knock.

“Come on in.” Long skirts swished as she gestured him toward one of the dainty chairs, the scent of strawberries wafting around.

His feet wanted to drag. Yet he forced himself to cross the room and sit. The sound of the door shutting made him jump. His hands shook. This was such a bad idea.

Lily sat across from him and smiled. “You’re brave to want to be hypnotized, although I think we should just talk. Your memories are all accessible.” Steam rose from a cup of floral tea next to her, and in her long skirt, she looked like a lady from centuries ago. One who shouldn’t be exposed to the reality of his life.

He pressed the fine armrests to stand up. “This is a bad idea.”

She patted his hand, her skin so pale and delicate. “You can do this.”

“I know.” How did he explain? “I don’t think you should, I mean, you—”

A sweet smile lifted her pink lips. “I’ve been a prophet for three centuries and during two wars. As such, I’ve counseled many people who’ve literally gone through hell.” She sighed, her eyes reflecting a weary wisdom she usually hid. “Unfortunately, nothing you say will shock me.”

He settled back into the chair and studied the prophet. There was more to Lily Sotheby than he’d seen. “Anything I tell you is confidential.”

“I won’t tell a soul.”

Before that moment, he would’ve assumed Dage, as king, could get all information from Lily. But now, he doubted it. “If anything I say upsets you, please stop me.”

Lily’s blue eyes softened. “Everything you say will upset me because I care about you, Jase. We’re old friends. But I promise, I can handle the truth.”

They might be old friends, but he always felt like a kid in her presence. And something in him, deep down, experienced shame at the torture he’d lived through. As if he’d deserved the pain. No, it wasn’t rational—and he was no victim. So it was time to suck it up and deal. “What now?”

“Now you relax.”

He barked out a laugh. “No problem.” His shoulders hardened to rock.

Lily settled back. “We’re going to talk for a while, and you’re going to concentrate on breathing in and breathing out. Smooth and easy. Okay?”

“Okay.” He breathed in.

“Good. Before the first war started, when you were just a kid, what was it like with four older brothers?” Lily asked.

Jase grinned. “Fun. Lots of fun. We were the Kayrs kids . . . full of fire and trouble. Even Dage was relaxed—well, for Dage.”

“Before he was forced to become king?”

“Yes. Before the Kurjans murdered our parents.” Jase wiped his wet palms on his jeans. “Dage changed overnight—he had to.”

“And he sent you to fight.”

“Yes. I was fifteen and old enough.” Of course, Jase always had his older brothers flanking him. As war went, he was safe. “Dage has always felt guilty.”

“That must be a hard burden for you to bear.”

Jase shrugged. “We all have our crosses.”

“So true,” Lily murmured. “What’s your favorite season?”

“Summer—as hot as possible.” There was a time he’d raced cars, boats, planes. Anything with speed. His shoulders relaxed as memories assailed him. “Though winter was always good, too.”

“What are you afraid to tell everyone?”

The question caught him off guard, and his heart sped up. Concentrating on his breathing, he slowed it down. “I’m afraid everyone will know how crazy I went.” One day the rock face had spit out shards, and he’d stuck one in his jugular. Just to end the pain.

“Why?” she asked.

He blinked. “Well, I lost. I mean, they beat me. I went nuts.”

“No.” She leaned forward, her gaze intense. “You survived, and you won. Regardless of the games your brain created to help you survive.”

“I stabbed myself.” Suicide wasn’t a winning move.

“You didn’t die.” She shook her head. “Come on. You’re a three-hundred-year-old soldier who has killed many times. If you’d truly wanted to die, you wouldn’t be sitting here right now.”

His lungs seized. “Then, why?”

“I don’t know. Maybe it was momentary weakness. Maybe you just needed to do something . . . anything to retain control. But you didn’t really try to kill yourself.”

At her words, a lump of pain he’d been carrying slowly dissolved. “You must think I’m so stupid.”

“No. I think you’re brave and still confused. The only way to deal with this stuff is to talk about it, and you vampires stink at talking.” She sipped her tea. “No offense.”

“None taken.”

“Good. The only way to heal is to talk, and to forgive yourself for any shortcomings you think you had.” She smiled. “You’re well on the way.”

Was he, or was he just playing a good game? Part of him wanted to hope, the other part wanted to sink back into plans for revenge. “Thanks.”

“I do know you wouldn’t have even considered any path other than vengeance before mating Brenna.” Lily studied him over the rim of her cup. “Mayhaps you should spend some time with that thought.”

He grimaced. “She deserves better.”

“Then be better.” Lily stood. “Think about everything, and do your homework.”

He paused. “Homework?”

“Yes. I want you and Brenna to spend some normal time together doing couple-type things.”

Heat flushed up his face. “Um—”

“No. I mean, normal time like furnishing your home or going to a movie.” Lily smiled. “Then, let’s meet again tomorrow.”

Fantastic. He was now one of those guys who met with a shrink every day. “Thank you, Lily.” Exiting the room, he ran into Conn. His breath hitched.

Conn paused. “Meeting with Lily?”

God. Now his brother—the ultimate soldier—would think he was some kind of metrosexual. “Yes.”

Conn nodded slowly. “She’s a good listener.”

Jase stilled. “You’ve met with Lily?”

“Sure.” Conn hesitated, glancing at the closed door. “Sometimes I have to do something in battle, or see something, and guilt eats at me. So once in a while I talk to Lily.”

Jase shook his head. Where had reality gone? “I didn’t know that.”

“For a while, I didn’t want to burden her. I mean, she’s so—”

“Dainty.” Jase rubbed his head.

“Yeah. That’s the word. Dainty.” Conn grinned. “But she’s tough, and she’s good. Has she thrown anything at you yet?”

“Of course not.” The woman was a lady.

“Well, hold back, and you’ll get a teacup to the head.”

Jase snorted. He shifted his feet, finally feeling like a brother again. “We don’t gotta hug or anything right now, do we?”

“Shit no.” Conn punched him in the arm. Hard. “It’s all good.”

“How about we move it closer to the wall?” Brenna asked, her concentration on the antique sofa table and matching end tables that had been delivered earlier that day. “I mean, until we buy a sofa to ground the room.”

Max Petrovsky easily lifted the table and set it against the living room wall. As a deadly hunter for the vampires, the guy was surprisingly good-natured about moving furniture around the room all morning as he waited for Jase to show up. He turned and glanced at the open wall. “Maybe you should get new windows before you buy more furniture.”

Brenna shrugged. “I think Jase already ordered replacement windows.” A pleasant breeze wafted in from the ocean, and she took a deep breath. “Though I like the openness.” Well, until it rained.

Max eyed the far wall, his odd metallic eyes narrowing. “I think I like the big table over there.”

Brenna hid a grin. The king’s deadly bodyguard had a thing for feng shui. “Maybe you’re right.”

Max lifted the heavy oak with one hand to carry it across the room. “When did you say Jase would be back?”

She hadn’t. “Soon.” Probably.

“Okay.” Max loped over to the demolished window and tugged a shard from the top frame. At well over six feet, the hulking soldier came in handy. Humming to himself, he ran his hand along the entire length, dropping glass to the floor. “These might fall on somebody,” he murmured.

The front door opened, and he pivoted, instantly on alert.

Brenna stilled. There was the killer with the reputation people whispered about. She turned and smiled. “Hi, Jase. Max was just helping me with the tables.”

Amusement lightened Jase’s eyes. “Max is actually a great decorator.”

Max snorted. “I don’t mind embracing my softer side.”

Brenna chuckled. There was nothing soft about any of the vampires. “We need more furniture.”

“How about we go buy some?” Jase asked.

Was he serious? Brenna leaned against the wall. “Now?”

“Yes.” Jase frowned at the missing windows. “We should have replacement glass soon, so we might as well furnish the room.”

Her heart pitter-pattered. Jase wanted to go buy furniture with her? Like a real married couple? “What about Garrett? I mean, we can’t just leave.”

“The best people in the world are working on finding Garrett. The second they have a lead, they’ll call us.” Jase nodded toward the sofa table. “I like the table on the other wall.”

Max shook his head. “Amateur.”

“Hmph.” Jase surveyed Max. “Are you here to see me?”

“Yes. How was your visit with Lily?” Max asked.

“Good.” Jase frowned. “Why?”

“I was being polite. Has she hit you with the ruler yet?” Max absently rubbed his thigh.

Jase grinned. “Not yet, but I’m sure it’ll happen. What can I help you with, Max?”

Max prowled toward the door. “I need to collect all of the Degoller Stars from you. The king wants them put away.”

Jase stilled. “No.”

Max rubbed his chin. “I have an order.”

“No,” Jase said levelly.

Max paused by the door. “Okay-dokey.”

Brenna frowned. “That’s it?”

Max shrugged. “Yep. I’m not getting between two Kayrs brothers.”

“You’re a brother, too,” Jase muttered.

“Exactly.” Max shoved past Jase to the front porch. “Which means I get to stay out of this one. Thank God,” he muttered as he loped down the steps.

Jase turned back toward Brenna. “That was odd.”

Not really. Centuries ago, the Kayrs family had taken in Max, making him one of them. As family, Max had wanted to check up on Jase. The hulk had a sweet side. “Are you serious about going furniture shopping?”

Jase shuffled his feet. “Yes, it’ll be nice to get away from headquarters for an afternoon.”

Yeah, it would. Brenna smiled, her heart lighter than it had been for days. “I do love shopping.”

Jase’s smile seemed forced. “Ah, me, too.”

Brenna snorted. “I’m sure.” A vampire shopping for furniture? This was going to be an afternoon to remember.

Jase sprawled on the zillionth leather couch he’d sat on that afternoon. “What’s wrong with this one?”

Brenna twisted to see around a tall clock. “That’s real leather.”

“So?”

“So, one of your brothers married a vegan who will light it on fire if it’s in our house.” Brenna leaned down and grabbed his hand. “I kind of agree with her, actually. Come on, there’s a faux leather ensemble over behind the dining room table I love.”

He tugged back just enough to tumble her into his lap, contenting himself with the feel of woman in his arms. “I refuse to sit on any more sofas.”

She chuckled and tried to lever herself away from him. “Knock it off.”

“No.” He buried his face in her neck, inhaling the scent of Ireland. Warmth flushed down his torso, and his jeans became too tight.

The loud clearing of a throat caught his attention. The shop owner peered down his pointed nose. “Sir. I’ve already asked you twice to stop the shenanigans.” He patted his slicked-back hair and nodded toward two human females watching. “You’re causing a scene.”

The two middle-aged women had been watching Jase since he’d walked into the store, and one kept fanning herself. Maybe she was having heart problems or something. Jase stood and whipped out a credit card with no limit. “We’ll take the dining set, the sofa set behind that, the clock, and all of the office furniture my, ah, wife has tagged.”

The man straightened, a blush spreading across his face as he was suddenly all teeth. “Excellent. Very good, sir. I’ll go write these up.” He tripped over a potted plant in his hurry toward the cash register.

Jase shook his head and stood, settling Brenna on her feet. Closing his eyes, he tried to concentrate. Nothing happened.

Brenna elbowed him in the gut. “What are you doing?”

“I’m trying to make it rain in here.” He opened his eyes. “But no altering the air for me today.” Someday he hoped to regain the skill. Tangling his fingers with hers, he tugged her toward the counter.

She stumbled, glancing at a dining room set in the window. “Maybe—”

“No.” God, if he didn’t get out of there, he was going to start flashing fangs.

“But—”

That was it. Turning, he yanked her against him and slid his mouth over hers, kissing her hard. Heat roared between his ears and down his spine to pool in his groin. Releasing her and leaning back, he studied her flushed face. “Somebody so sweet shouldn’t be so damn sexy,” he rumbled.

Twin “ahs” came from the women behind the potted plants.

Brenna grinned. “You just can’t behave.”

“If you cared about me, you’d set this place on fire.” He was only half-joking.

Her eyes sparkled, while her smile slid away. “I do care about you. Probably too much.”

The temptation to slide into such honest sweetness grabbed him around the heart.

The owner cleared his throat. Again. “For an additional ten percent, we can deliver your furniture today.”

Jase kept his gaze on his woman. “Somebody will pick it up later today.” He turned and flashed his teeth. “Be nice to them. They’re not nearly as polite as I am.”

The guy paled.

Jase signed, accepted his card, and bulldozed Brenna out of the store before she could change her mind. “You promised me ice cream if I bought you the dining room set.”

She slipped her small hand into his and pointed down the sidewalk. “There’s a place down there.” As they passed teenagers on skateboards, joggers with yapping dogs, and little old ladies with puffed hair and brightly colored purses, Brenna snuggled into his side. “It feels weird to be doing normal stuff.”

A kid dressed in all black careened a skateboard by the elderly ladies, grabbing a pink purse and angling away from Jase.

Jase manacled the kid by the throat, lifting him several feet as the board crashed into a parking meter. “Give it back.”

The kid’s eyes widened, popping out. He held the purse away, and the woman reached for it. “Bad boy.” Tucking it to her ample chest, she smiled at Jase. “Thank you, young man.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Jase smiled and dropped the kid. He ran across the street.

Brenna sighed. “Now that’s normal for us.”

Jase looked up at the ice cream sign. “Let’s get a snack, and then we need to get home. We should have news on Garrett.”

Reality just wouldn’t stay away, no matter how much he wanted to pretend.