37

Just as he had promised, Aric Glass left Gilorin Court two days after his arrival, leaving Mirage alone again, with no one from her past life to remind her of the things she had left behind. Aric had made a terrible impression on her, however, and in the days since his leaving his accusations haunted Mirage, preventing her from enjoying the serenity of Raxor’s estate. By the time five more days passed, all the nobles had left Gilorin Court, but King Raxor had remained, keeping to himself and taking his meals privately, never again asking Mirage about the secrets she harboured.

For the first time in weeks, Mirage felt safe. Without Raxor’s family and all their suspicious glares, she felt at home and at ease amid the genteel court. More importantly, Asher was miles away, and no one threatened her with prison or even spoke the madman’s name. They were good days, or at least there should have been, but Mirage could not escape the things Aric had said to her, and soon she realized how right he had been. The time had come for her to make a bold decision.

As usual, Corvalos Chane kept watch over Mirage, shadowing her through Gilorin’s gardens and hovering nearby during meals. Though the danger was far less now that she’d left Hes, Chane continued taking his charge to protect her seriously, a duty that Raxor had yet to relieve him of. Raxor himself saw very little of Mirage, passing by her politely in the halls or along the flowered lanes but never once coming to her rooms to check on her or to have one of their long, pleasant conversations. Surprisingly, Mirage missed the old man. He was in mourning still, and the cloud that followed him everywhere never seemed to lift from his face. Mirage waited patiently for him to come, but the old king never did, and by the afternoon of their eighth day together, she decided to go to him herself.

Raxor was in a woodlot about half a mile from the main house, alone among the trees with an axe in his hands and sweat pouring from his wrinkled face. At Mirage’s request, Corvalos Chane had ridden her out to the lot to speak to Raxor. The ground around his booted feet rose high with wood chips and poorly stacked lumber. Lost in thought and the noise from his swinging axe, he did not hear Chane’s horse arrive or Mirage’s light footfalls as she approached. Corvalos Chane dismounted but kept back from the king, hidden behind a stout sycamore tree. He kept a watchful eye on Mirage as she made her way toward Raxor, her feet crunching on the dead leaves. Ahead of her, Raxor swung his axe, oblivious. Shards of wood flew from the timbers. Each time one gave way beneath his axe, he stooped to place another on the stump he used like an anvil. Mirage paused a few paces away, sure now that the king had seen her. Raxor glanced at her, but only for a moment, then went back to working his axe.

‘My lord. .’

‘Wait,’ he ordered.

The chips continued to fly. Mirage’s anxiety crested. What she had decided would upset him, she was sure. He might not even allow it. She thought of turning back yet managed to remain, watching as Raxor avoided her eyes, pretending that all the wood he chopped was so much more important.

At last King Raxor lowered his axe, breathing hard as he rested the blade on the massive tree stump. A peculiar looked crossed his sweaty face. He stared at Mirage.

‘My son. .’ The king shrugged. ‘He died and I couldn’t save him. They butchered him.’

Mirage shuddered. ‘You couldn’t save him, my lord.’

‘I didn’t try. I didn’t even know what was happening.’ Raxor tossed his axe aside. ‘Do you hear? I didn’t know! I’m so old and stupid I couldn’t see the obvious trap!’

‘No,’ said Mirage, hurrying toward him. ‘Prince Roland died like all the others. In battle.’

‘And where was I?’ the king railed. ‘I didn’t see battle. I was hiding like a woman behind my troops.’

‘You were commanding them.’

Raxor slumped. Slowly he dragged his weary body down to sit upon the tree stump. ‘That’s why you were brought to me, Mirage. To be kind to a useless old man. Years ago I would never have fallen for a ruse like that. Baron Glass played me and I let him. And now. .’

His voice choked off as emotion strangled his words. Mirage stood before him, pitying him. Finally he looked up at her.

‘You are leaving.’

Mirage nodded. ‘Yes.’

Raxor smiled sadly. ‘I have thought on what Aric Glass said to me. He was right. You are a free woman, and all I’ve done is make a pretty cage for you. But I tried, you see. I wanted you to be happy here.’

‘And I have been, my lord. At times.’ Mirage looked at him fondly. ‘You have been kind to me. I did not expect such tenderness from you. You are not what the rest of the world says you are, King Raxor. In Liiria they remember you the way you were.’

Raxor scoffed. ‘When I was young and strong, you mean.’

‘When you were cruel in battle. That’s what they say and that’s why I feared you. I found instead a good man who tries very hard to do what’s right.’

King Raxor grinned at this. ‘You know, you look very much like my wife, but she would never have spoken the way you do, Mirage. You are really not like her. Oh, she was saintly. There was no better woman alive. But she was simple and unworldly. Not like you. You are wise. I will miss your counsel.’

‘Will you?’ asked Mirage, surprised. ‘Thank you, my lord.’

‘It is good that you leave,’ sighed Raxor. ‘There are terrible days ahead. Go north, far from Reec and Liiria. Or go home to Jerikor. Anywhere is better than Reec now.’

Mirage hesitated. She could lie, she supposed, but she still needed a bit of help from the king. ‘My lord,’ she began, ‘I’m not going north. I’m going back to Koth.’

Raxor looked up, his self-loathing flying from his face. ‘What?’

‘I’m going back to Koth. I’m going back to Thorin.’

‘What?’ sputtered Raxor again. He rose in disbelief. ‘You can’t do such a thing!’

‘I must, my lord. You’re not the only one who has thought about the things Aric Glass said. He was right about me. I have been nothing but selfish for years. You don’t even know the woman that I am, not really.’

‘I have tried,’ said Raxor. ‘But you’re a mystery still. Now tell me more about this madness. Why must you go to Glass?’

‘To reach him, my lord. To try and get him to stop his madness. He loved me once. He might still love me. He’ll listen to me.’

Raxor shook his head. ‘He won’t. That’s what Aric thought, Mirage, but when he saw what a demon his father had become he rode back to the line. He knew he couldn’t reach Glass, and neither can you.’

‘I’m a woman, don’t forget,’ Mirage reminded him. ‘Love is powerful, my lord.’

‘You’re a beauty, true,’ Raxor laughed. ‘But no, I cannot allow this. If you go to Koth there is no telling what will happen to you, and I could not bear you being harmed. Not now, not after what happened to Roland.’

‘I’m a free woman,’ Mirage told him. ‘You said so yourself. Unless you go back on your word to me, I may go where I wish.’ She looked at him harshly. ‘Are you going back on your word, King Raxor?’

Frustrated, Raxor towered over her. ‘Don’t play games with me, child. You have no idea of the danger you’d face. You did not see Baron Glass or the carnage he occasioned.’

‘How can I make you understand?’ Mirage wondered aloud. She thought for a moment before seizing on Roland. ‘It is like your son, my lord. You grieve because he is dead, but you also grieve for the things you thought you could have done differently. You think you could have saved him, and no matter how I argue otherwise you will always think that.’

‘I should have tried,’ said Raxor. ‘That’s all.’

‘That’s right,’ countered Mirage. ‘That’s what you think. It is the same for me. I must try, King Raxor. I must.’

‘But why? I do not understand.’

How could she explain it to him? She had kept such secrets from him already, and there was still no way for her to reveal the truth. The magic of Grimhold was not to be shared, and he might not believe her anyway.

‘There are things I cannot tell you, my lord,’ Mirage said gently. ‘Things about myself and where I came from. Secret things.’

‘Things about Baron Glass?’ asked Raxor.

‘In a way. We share the same secrets, my lord.’

‘That’s why you think you can make him listen?’

Mirage sighed. ‘Maybe. At least I have to try. Will you let me? I will need passage to Koth.’

King Raxor considered her words, looking around at the trees and the blue sky. The pretty day shined on his face but did not hide his melancholy. He licked his lips as if stalling, not wanting her to go.

‘You are not the selfish girl you think, Mirage,’ he said finally. ‘You have helped me more than I can tell you. For a while I felt young again when I was with you.’

‘You can thank me, then, by letting me go.’

‘If that’s the only way,’ said Raxor regretfully, ‘then you may go to Koth. But not alone. Corvalos Chane will go with you. He will see that you make it safely, at least.’

Mirage at last relaxed, letting out a long breath. ‘I would like that. It’s a long way to Koth and Chane would be welcome.’

‘He’ll protect you, Mirage. But once you are with Baron Glass. .’

‘I know,’ said Mirage. ‘I’ll be on my own.’

‘That’s right,’ said the king. ‘But you will always have a place here, if ever you want to return.’

His words comforted Mirage. She had never felt at home anywhere, not even in Grimhold. It was good to think she had a place in the real world that would welcome her. ‘You mean like home, my lord?’ she asked.

‘Home is the best place, Mirage,’ he said. ‘Everyone needs a place to call home.’

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