Vessel

18

THE ASTRONAUTS’ LAUNCH-DAY breakfast was a long-standing tradition. Half the crew—Commander Duffy, Kevin Park, and Leah Morrison—had done this multiple times before for shorter missions, while Grace Kowalski, Zach Navarro, and Nate Royer were all relative rookies, with one or two missions apiece.

Cal was the only true rookie of the bunch. This was his first launch-day breakfast, joining the crew with Aaron and a few of the other support staff. It was embarrassing how… emotional he was. They were sitting in the same room where the greats ate breakfast before heading out: Glenn, Armstrong, Ride, and all the rest. Some of them had never come back. Everyone acted as if it were no big deal, as if this momentous thing that they’d been planning for years wasn’t about to happen.

In a nod to tradition, all the Sagittarius II astronauts had ordered the favorite steak-and-scrambled-eggs breakfast, except their lone vegetarian, Kowalski, who stuck with the eggs. It was just as well, because she barely ate anything anyway, but kept a resolute “I’m absolutely fine” look on her face nonetheless. They all did. Including Cal.

He’d done everything he could to prepare his crew. He’d done absolutely everything in his power to make certain that no issues from Sagittarius I would harm them. The rest was out of his hands. That wasn’t easy for him to acknowledge, but if he’d learned anything working for NASA, it was that there were always some things that had to be left to chance. He watched the minutes count down on the clock, wondering what random things might crop up on this mission.

When it was time for the crew to suit up, Cal had a chance to say goodbye to each of them.

John Duffy was the first, and gave Cal a hearty handshake and a slap to the shoulder that threatened to knock him off his feet.

“Keep ’em in line up there, Commander,” Cal said.

Duffy gave him a salute and a grin. “You know it.”

Morrison was next, and she already had her game face on. Of course. While the others would mostly be passengers for a bit, Morrison would bear the brunt of the responsibility following the launch. To keep from distracting her, Cal just offered a handshake. She looked at his hand, then cocked an eyebrow at him before hauling him into a hug. “Relax,” she said in his ear. “You look like you’re about to get your ass kicked or something. We got this, all right?”

“All right,” he confirmed.

When Morrison pulled back she was smiling. “Better. See you, man.”

He said good-bye to Navarro, Park, and Kowalski in turn, a lump forming in his throat. He kept it hidden from them under his smile.

Nate was last, and Cal couldn’t resist needling him. “Saw you were late for breakfast. You oversleep or something?”

“Nah, I had to make sure I was looking just right before I made my appearance.” They clasped hands and pulled each other into a hug, one that was tighter than Cal intended. Nate picked up on it and pulled back with a frown. “You okay?”

“Yeah.” Cal cleared his throat. “Yeah, I’m fine. Prelaunch jitters. You know how it is.” He tried on a grin and it almost fit. “Dude, my best friend is leaving for six years, I’m allowed to have a feeling or two about it.”

“Think of all the stories we’ll have to swap when I get back.” He gave Cal’s shoulder a shake. “Just don’t screw up the launch, all right? After that, it’s all down to us.”

“That’s what I’m worried about,” Cal teased.

“Yeah, well, next time you can haul your ass out there if you don’t like the way we do things.”

That made Cal laugh, and he felt a bit of tension drain away. “Yeeeeah, I think that ship’s sailed, my friend. I’m gonna keep my feet right down here.”

“Then quit bitching.” Nate gave Cal one last swat to the arm and then turned to go. “See ya.”

“You bet.” Cal kept smiling, and kept the worry off his face. I hope I will.

Mission Control buzzed with activity as Aaron and Cal entered the last planned hold of the countdown. Once the clock started again, if all went well, in nine minutes the ship would launch, and the Sagittarius II mission would be underway. Cal tried to focus on his job, tried not to think about how his friends were sitting on top of a giant explosive device, and that this was the biggest moment of his career so far. He’d never sat in one of the flight-controller desks in Mission Control before, and here he was, at the Flight Activities Officer desk, a few minutes away from his first launch. He focused on the display in front of him, determined to do this right.

“Two, stand by for go/no go.” Catherine’s voice came through his headset. She was seated next to Aaron at the CAPCOM desk.

“Roger, Houston, standing by.” Commander Duffy was terse, no doubt focused on the next nine minutes.

Cal hadn’t argued against using her as CAPCOM for the launch. But he didn’t like it, and from the tension he felt radiating against his back, it seemed she wasn’t exactly at ease either.

“Attention Sagittarius II flight controllers.” Aaron sounded as calm as ever, but then this wasn’t his first launch. “Give me a go/no go for launch… FIDO?”

“Go,” the flight dynamics officer replied.

“RENDEZVOUS?”

“Go.”

Cal listened to the check, his heart in his throat. If they passed this check, the only thing that would stop the launch now would be a major emergency. This was the last real hurdle to clear.

“FAO?” Aaron’s voice in his ear.

If Cal said “no go” the countdown would remain stopped. He could stall things. Maybe halt them. But despite his reservations, despite everything he’d been worried about, he had no real proof. Aaron had shown him that much. Cal had no real other option. “Go.”

“PAYLOAD?”

“We’re a go.”

Aaron cycled through the entire Mission Control team, finally reaching Catherine. “CAPCOM?”

“Go.”

Did she have some of the same doubts he did? Cal wondered. She didn’t seem to be at one hundred percent these days. Her skin was sallow and she had dark circles under her eyes. She sat slumped over her desk, her lips drawn in a tight frown.

“Launch Control, this is Houston,” Aaron said. “We are go for launch.”

“Roger, Houston!”

Launch Control took over, going through their own checks. Cal kept his focus on the displays in front of him, looking for any sign of trouble. From the intercom overhead, he could hear the public affairs officer, sometimes called the Voice of NASA, continuing the countdown for the benefit of the observers gathered around the complex. Each time a launch position was called, Cal couldn’t help the small hope that someone would call a no go, but no one did.

“Start the clock,” Aaron said.

“Ladies and gentlemen, we are nine minutes and counting,” the PAO said as the clock started.

At T-5 minutes, Launch Control armed the rockets that would carry Sagittarius away from Earth and activated the auxiliary power. Cal could barely breathe, certain his heart was loud enough for the flight controller next to him to hear.

At T-2 minutes, the crew closed their visors and sealed up their suits. Cal felt as if he might throw up.

At T-31 seconds, the launch autosequencer started. Everything was out of his hands at this point. Normally that would be maddening, but right now things were so far out of his hands that even he was able to let go. Cal felt a strange, sudden sense of calm.

At T-15 seconds, the PAO started counting down over the intercom. Cal felt as if he were floating, weightless in space himself.

“…Ten, nine, eight, seven, six. Ignition sequence starts. Three, two, one. Ignition.”

Then the calm broke and the tension in the room heightened. Eighteen flight controllers and Aaron, not to mention the world watching outside, held their breath as the rockets under Sagittarius bloomed orange and the massive launch structure began to separate, allowing Sagittarius to leave the ground.

“The clock is running,” Commander Duffy confirmed.

“We have liftoff!” the PAO told the crowd outside, and Cal could hear faint cheering over the Launch Control comm loop. No one in Mission Control was celebrating, not yet. They still had work to do, but they did allow themselves the luxury of glancing around and exchanging smiles. Cal grinned at Aaron, and then Catherine smiled at him, wary but friendly.

Cal couldn’t bring himself to smile back. He now had six years of anxious waiting to get through before his crew came back safely, and he still didn’t trust that Catherine had told him everything he needed to know to bring them home.