A Baumgartner Reunion

CHAPTER SEVEN

“Are you crazy?” I stood staring at Doc, mouth agape, as he put the raft on the sand at the water’s edge and held out his hand to help me in. “I’m not getting in that thing!”

The water lapped at my bare feet-he’d insisted I remove my shoes before we even left the house-and a full moon made the waves look like watery crystals as they rode toward shore and crashed against the sand, leaving foamy lace behind.

“Trust me,” Doc said again, reaching and grabbing hold of my hand this time. “Get in.”

Sighing, I accepted his help into the boat, shrinking toward the side and waiting for him to get in, too. Then the raft moved on the sand and I shrieked, glancing backward in a panic at Doc, who pushed the inflatable into the water.

“What are you doing?!” I cried as he peeled off his t-shirt and tossed it onto the sand behind him, pushing the boat harder now as he waded in to his knees. “Don’t leave me!”

He shook his head as the boat began to float, free of its lodging in the sand. “Did you really think I would push you out there and leave you?” I frowned, trying to ignore the pounding of my heart, as he pulled himself over the rounded yellow edge of the inflatable-the water was up to his chest now-and swung a leg over. He settled in across from me with a smile.

“Okay?” he asked, taking an oar in each hand and beginning to row.

I didn’t answer, glancing back toward shore, watching it slowly disappear as I considered his question. Was I okay? Since I’d begun this journey down memory lane with the Baumgartners, I’d felt uneasy, off-kilter. The world, which had once felt so safe and solid, had somehow tilted sideways and I was struggling to keep my footing-and I was afraid to look down to see what was waiting for me, should I fall.

“Where are we going?” I asked, turning back to watch Doc rowing, the oars slicing through the moonlit waves, his shoulder muscles flexing as each stroke took us further and further away from shore…from safety.

“Do you trust me?”

Of course I did. The man had been a little like a second father to me as a teen, and had transformed into an experimental lover during my young adulthood. He was kind, wise, and he loved me. I knew it was true…but being alone out here on the water, so far from shore, made me uneasy still. I wasn’t afraid of Doc, I knew that much. But what was I afraid of?

“Ronnie, do you trust your husband?”

Slowly, I nodded. I did, I always had, and he had proven himself to be trustable again and again. Thinking about TJ made me miss him suddenly, deeply, and I longed to hear the sound of his voice, to feel the rake of his whiskers over my cheek.

Doc stopped rowing, letting the boat drift. The waves rocked us gently up and down and we sat in the silence, looking at each other in the moonlight.

“What are you afraid of?” he asked, leaning toward me as he asked the question-the same question I’d been asking myself. It was just a two person raft, and when he moved, our crossed-knees touched. “Tell me.”

“I…” Shifting my weight made the boat rock. I steadied myself, shaking my head. “I don’t know.”

“Don’t you?” Doc grabbed the oars again and gave a strong, solid pull, sending us moving swiftly through the water again and making me gasp. “Are you afraid now?”

“Yes,” I admitted, swallowing hard and glancing back toward shore. We were so far! The windows in the house were just tiny squares painted on the night. “But I don’t know why.”

“You love TJ, don’t you?”

I nodded. “Of course I do.”

“Has he ever given you a good reason not to trust him?” He hadn’t. I mean, aside from a few things here and there-saying he’d do something and putting it off, small promises made not kept. But in the scheme of things, throughout our marriage? “No.”

“Does he lie to you?”

I shook my head. “No.”

“Does he cheat on you?”

I hesitated then. We’d talked about being with other people, and now I had officially betrayed our marriage, twice, with his permission. But to my knowledge, he’d never cheated. He’d expressed an interested, yes, but technically… “No.”

Doc took my hands, looking into my eyes. His were dark and wet with reflected moonlight. “Do you really believe he would steer you wrong?”

“Not on purpose, I guess…” I bit my lip, thinking. “I’m just afraid he’s going to… well, like this…” I looked around us, at how far out we are, feeling the waves rocking the raft. I wasn’t stupid—I understood Doc’s metaphoric little boat trip perfectly. “What if he rows us out too far… or does something stupid, like throwing away our oars.”

“What if he does?” He squeezed my hands in his. “Would you trust him anyway?”

“I…” Frowning, I pulled away, shaking my head. “Why should I have to?”

“Love is trust,” Doc whispered, and the words were so soft the might just have been waves lapping at the sides of the boat.

I folded my arms across my chest-I was still wearing the spaghetti-strapped top and mini-skirt, and while the night was warm, the water made it feel cooler. “Why should I have to prove anything?”

“Why should he?” Doc countered with a wise smile.

I gave up, feeling tears pricking my eyes. “I just… I don’t want to lose him. I don’t want to lose what we have.”

“Do you think he does?”

“No,” I admitted softly. TJ loved me, I knew that. He didn’t want to lose me or our marriage, any more than I did.

“Then trust him,” Doc urged, reaching over to wipe away one of my tears with his thumb and lifting my chin, making me look into his eyes. “Let your heart lead you. Not your fear. Not your guilt. Not your shame.” His words made so much sense and I felt myself melting, “Doc…”

“Trust him to steer the boat.” He leaned forward and kissed my wet cheek.

“But…”

Doc sighed, leaning back and snapping one of the oar holders open. “No buts, Ronnie. None. Not even if he throws away the oars.” He snapped the other open and my heart plummeted.

“What are you doing?!”

Doc gave each oar a shove and they were free, floating lazily away.

“Throwing away the oars.”

“Are you crazy?” I panicked, grabbing over the side for one and just succeeding in getting myself wet. It was already out of reach! “What now?”

“That’s a great question.” Doc smiled, leaning back, and I marveled at his calm. “Are you afraid?”

I looked back and forth between the oars as they disappeared into the darkness. “Yes!”

“But do you trust me?”

I stared at him, angry, confused, afraid… but still… “Yes.”

“Then come here.” He held his arms out to me and I shook my head, but my body knew better than I did and I went to him, letting him pull me against his chest. He was warm, solid, and I took a shaky breath as the boat rocked us further and further from shore.

“Deep breaths,” Doc encouraged, kissing my hairline and using the rise and fall of his chest to instruct me. “Relax.”

I groaned, closing my eyes against the distance between us and land. “I can’t do this.”

“Yes you can,” he murmured, his hand moving down my back, seeking the expanse of bare skin between my skirt and shirt and rubbing there. “Just let go and trust. That’s all you have to do.”

I kept my eyes closed, trying not to think, trying to keep my mind from racing to all the scary, looming thoughts, all the what ifs… Instead, I rested my head against Doc’s chest, feeling the gentle rock of the raft, listening to the steady beat of his heart with my own.

“That’s good…” His hands moved under my shirt now and I didn’t stop him as he stroked my back, petting me. “I can feel you relaxing…” I was. In spite of my fear, which still had my heart beating hard, I couldn’t help but be calmed by his voice, his touch. I found myself softening, letting myself go. Doc shifted his weight and me with him as he moved, letting me feel his erection, hard against my hip.

“Let your body lead you…” He whispered against my ear, giving me shivers. “Your head thinks it knows, but it doesn’t…” His hands moved around the front now, still under my shirt. I wasn’t wearing a bra-I still didn’t really need one-and he cupped my breast, squeezing gently. “Your body knows what it wants…”

I moaned softly when he thumbed my nipple, feeling a sweet tingle between my thighs. I wanted to stop him-no, that wasn’t quite true. I felt like I should stop him. Something kept telling me it was wrong, this man wasn’t my husband, I shouldn’t want… I shouldn’t…

“So sweet…” Doc had my shirt pulled up and my nipple in his mouth so fast I could barely take a breath. I wiggled in his lap, gasping, my hands gripping his shoulders, not sure if I wanted to push him away or pull him closer. Where was there to go, anyway?

I opened my eyes briefly, seeing the faint lights at the shore, and my belly lurched with sudden fear.

“Stop thinking,” Doc insisted, pushing me back in the raft, so I was leaning against the opposite side. “Just feel.”

“But—” The protest died on my lips when he pushed my skirt up and pulled my panties aside, pressing his fingers there first, plunging deep enough to make me gasp, and then dipping his head down to taste me with his tongue.

“Ohhh!”

My clit throbbed in his mouth as he sucked and licked me with an eager hunger than soon had me spreading wider, silently asking for more. There wasn’t a lot of room in the little raft, but I lifted my hips for his tongue, his fingers, digging my heels into the bottom of the raft.

“Oh please,” I begged, rubbing my own nipples through my shirt, pushing the feeling further, further, needing more. “Oh god!” All thought had gone, and there wasn’t any more fear or hesitation. I let him-I let myself. I couldn’t stop it and didn’t really want to. That was my secret, guilty admission. I wanted this, had always wanted this, and denying it took infinite more work than acknowledging my own self-confession.

“Good girl!” Doc chuckled when I threw first one bare leg and then the other over the side of the boat, spreading wide and lifting my hips up for his straining tongue. His hands slid under my skirt, gripping my clenched ass, pulling me against his greedy mouth. The sensation was almost too much to bear.

“Don’t stop,” I whispered, but I knew he wouldn’t. His tongue lashed at my clit, again, again, and my thighs trembled as I felt my orgasm coiling low in my belly, waiting to spring. I moaned when he sucked at my clit, as if it were a little cock, trying to suck it deep into his mouth. That made me arch further, my head going back against the side of the raft.

“Gonna… ohhhh… god… Doc, please!” My warning made him even hungrier and I couldn’t hold it back, feeling my climax already beginning, making me quiver. I was lost, found, instantly transported and taken, the sweet throb of my clit in his wet mouth beyond sweetness, beyond love.

“Oh god, oh god,” I whispered again and again as he slowly let me settle back into the boat. My head still hung off the back of the raft and I gasped, opening my eyes and seeing the moon floating above us in a sea of stars, the water below reflecting its face in a distorted white ribbon of moonlight on a black ocean.

When I lifted my head to look at him, sitting back against the opposite side of the boat again, his suit discarded, his cock in his hand, he was like a glowing, silver god in the moonlight, and I couldn’t resist.

“Oh yesss,” he moaned as I knelt between his thighs and took his cock into my hand, my mouth. I instantly remembered the taste and feel of him, the weight of his balls cradled in my hand. I’d been such a young, naive girl then, so unsure but willing to learn. Very teachable, oh yes, definitely that.

I’d learned a lot since the last time Doc and I had been together.

“Oh Christ!” His hips bucked as my tongue made fat, flat sweeps around the head of his cock, pausing to give a little extra attention to the sweet spot, flicking back and forth at the frenulum. My fingernails-never anywhere near as long as Mrs. B’s, but still long enough to do the job-scratched lightly over his balls as I sucked him in, my nose pressed into the dark thatch of his pubic hair.

Then I really showed him what I could do, working his cock with my mouth and hand at once, nice short even strokes that had him swelling nicely in my hand, his breath beginning to match my pace. Whenever I felt his cock twitch, that gentle, telltale throb, I’d take him deep and hold him there, using my tongue to press him against the roof of my mouth until his breathing slowed a little. And then I’d begin again, those sweet, short strokes, making soft, hungry noises in my throat as I sucked him.

“Ahhhhh baby, wait,” he finally groaned, grabbing my hair and pulling my head back. “I want to fuck you.”

I wanted it, too. Unzipping my skirt, I slid it and my panties down and tossed them with his suit on the floor of the raft. Doc lifted my shirt and pulled it off as I straddled him, rubbing his cock between my swollen pussy lips. His eyes were dark as his gaze swept over me in the moonlight and his hands followed, cupping my breasts and tweaking my nipples as I jerked him against my clit.

“Put it in,” he murmured, shifting his hips. “I want—ohhhhh god!” I was wet enough to take him in without any resistance and our hips met as I slid down all the way to the base. Giving a little whimper, I made little circles in his lap, feeling his cock moving deep inside me. His hands moved from my breasts to my hips, rocking me back and forth, his fingers digging in as we fucked.

“Faster,” he urged, lifting me upward as he slid deeper into the raft, so his head was resting on the floor. I did what he asked, leaning forward and grabbing onto the edge of the inflatable raft, rocking faster, taking him deeper with every thrust. Doc found my nipples with his tongue, sending sweet waves of pleasure down to my aching clit.

His hands moved over my ass, spreading me wider as he began to take over the movement, thrusting up into me, his tongue still bathing my nipples in saliva. I was so close I could barely keep myself from coming, but I wanted it to last and last, the sweet swell of his cock inside of me, the hard pounding of his hips against mine.

“Oh Ronnie… baby…” I knew the sound in his throat, that low growl, telling me he was about to come. I ground my hips against his, feeling the boat rocking faster with our motion, making me dizzy. I closed my eyes and slid my hand down between us, searching through the wetness for the aching bud of my clit, needing just a little nudge to push me over the edge.

“Ahhhhhhhhh!” He groaned and thrust deep, shuddering beneath me, and the sound and feel of his climax sent me over. I trembled in his arms, feeling the pulse of his cock as my own orgasm overtook me, my pussy clenching and releasing as I came.

“Oh Doc,” I whispered, as he pulled me close and I shivered, cold now in the night air, our bodies covered with a sheen of sweat. “Oh… oh…”

“So beautiful,” he murmured, kissing my cheek, my chin, my mouth, as he rolled to his side and tucked me into the raft beside him, our limbs entangled. His fingers moved through my hair as we kissed, lost in the moment, and I wondered if he was remembering, too, the first time we’d been together alone like this.

“Good as you remembered?” I whispered, tilting my head back so I could look into his eyes.

He smiled. “Better.”

Suddenly, I sat up, looking around us in the darkness. “Doc! How are we going to get back! We’re so far!” I pointed toward the shore, the house a faint light in the distance.

“Didn’t I ask you to trust me?” Doc chuckled as he sat up, reaching over the side of the boat. I watched as he miraculously produced an oar and snapped it into place. He did the same on the other side.

“Velcro,” he explained, leaning over and kissing the tip of my nose.

“There’s always a spare set.”

“So we were safe the whole time?” I sat back, incredulous.

He cocked his head at me and smiled. “What do you think?” The metaphor wasn’t lost on me, and I smiled, quiet as I began to pull my clothes back and Doc started to row us back toward shore.

My heart sank when I saw Henry sitting on the beach as Doc pulled the raft the last few feet in to shore. Had he followed me? Or was everyone back, I wondered, my gaze moving toward the windows in the house, looking for signs of movement. That’s when I noticed he wasn’t alone.

“Hey, Dad, I thought we weren’t supposed to take the raft out at night?” Henry called.

Doc pulled the raft toward the house. “Special circumstances.”

“Are you okay?” Henry grabbed my hand as I walked by, stopping me short. I didn’t want to talk. I most definitely didn’t want to be introduced to the girl who was sitting on the blanket next to him.

“I’m fine,” I replied, trying to shake him loose, but his grip was too tight. “Is everyone home?”

“I don’t know.” He shrugged. “Liz gave me a ride back here so we could go for a swim.” Neither of them were wet or wearing suits but I wasn’t about to mention that fact. I wanted to get into the house as fast as I could.

“Hi, I’m Liz.” The redhead waved and gave me a smile and I tried to smile back. It was the same redhead from the bar, the one Brian had bent over the bathroom sink. This day just kept getting better and better…

“Hi, Liz,” I replied, pulling my hand from Henry’s persistent grip. “You two have fun.”

Right. Now what? I wondered as I walked through the sand toward the house where Doc was securing the raft. Janie’s boyfriend was cheating on her…with the same girl Henry happened to bring home? I had better odds winning the lottery than finding myself in this predicament, I thought, glancing back at the two of them sitting close, holding hands.

“You okay?” Doc asked as I approached, reaching for my hand.

“Sure,” I agreed, letting him take my hand before we went into the house.

“I just need a shower.”

“Want me to join you?” He raised an eyebrow, smiling.

I smiled back. “Not this time.”

I needed time to think.

Turning the water as hot as I could stand it, I stood under the spray and wondered what to do. Should I tell Janie? Should I warn Henry? Or should I just stay out of it and let it all crumble down around their heads like it clearly, inevitably would.

I realized, as I got out of the shower and pulled on a t-shirt and comfortable pair of shorts, that at least Janie and Henry’s problems had distracted me from my own for a while.

I heard Mrs. B and Gretchen laughing as I made my way downstairs and knew they, at least, had returned. When I poked my head around the banister, I found everyone sitting around-Doc and Mrs. B and Gretchen cuddled on the couch, Janie and Henry next to each other on the loveseat, and Henry and the redhead sitting on the floor. I surveyed the scene for a moment, blinking back my surprise as another round of laughter went through the group, brought on by something Gretchen said.

“I told her three times!” Gretchen howled, leaning against Carrie as she doubled over in laughter. “And she did it anyway!”

“Some people,” Liz remarked, smiling.

“There she is!” Carrie smiled warmly as I came slowly down the stairs, still incredulous. Obviously Janie didn’t know about the redhead, or she’d be freaking out, right? Still, the redhead knew about her…that much had been clear from the bathroom encounter…but she didn’t care? And Brian, he sat back, his arm thrown casually around Janie’s shoulder, cool as could be. He didn’t care that the redhead was now clearly interested in Henry?

The complexity of it made my head spin.

“Come sit,” Carrie implored, patting the couch between herself and Gretchen. I contemplated that idea for a moment, but then saw Janie’s cool gaze out of the corner of my eye.

“I think I’m going to get something to drink,” I replied, redirecting myself toward the kitchen.

“Ooooo good idea!” Liz agreed, jumping up. “More margaritas! I’ll help!” Great.

Before I knew it everyone was crowding into the little kitchen, the blender going at full tilt with tequila and margarita mix.

“But Daddy, you said you liked this one,” Janie teased, turning and pulling her shirt up in back, and her skirt down to reveal the top of her panties-Hello Kitty-and then pulled those down to expose her tattoo.

“Tramp stamp,” Henry muttered behind me, and Liz, the redhead, giggled.

“I guess, as tattoos go, it’s not bad,” Doc said with a grimace. “I’m just saying, it seems like everyone has so many of them nowadays.”

“I’ve got four,” Liz piped up. “Bet you can’t guess where.” Henry’s eyes turned to her with interest and I smiled to myself.

Then Brian spoke up, “I bet I can.”

The words, “Not fair, that’s cheating,” almost slipped off my tongue as Janie turned and nudged him with her elbow. But she was smiling, teasing. I flushed and slipped past Brian and the redhead toward the door, excusing myself.

At least the upstairs bathroom was quiet and I could think. I splashed water on my face to cool it and stood at the sink for a minute, wondering what to do next. Clearly I couldn’t say anything to Janie. Or Henry, either. How could I?

Then again… how could I not? My stomach clenched at the thought, and I took a deep breath and opened the door, choking off a cry of surprise at Brian standing outside.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you,” he apologized and I found myself looking down at his shoes-those black tennis shoes with the orange stripes and laces. Unmistakable.

The words were out of my mouth before I’d even thought about it. “Did you tell them you knew Liz had a tattoo of some Chinese character on her left butt cheek?”

He stared at me for a moment, the slight widening of his eyes the only indication he gave of registering what I’d said.

“What about the angel wings on her shoulder?” I prompted him, raising my eyebrows, waiting. “Did you tell them about those?”

“Liz knows about Janie,” Brian said with a shrug, leaning against the door frame. “She doesn’t care.”

“But Janie obviously doesn’t know about Liz,” I snapped.

He shrugged again. “So?”

“Well, it looks like Liz has turned her interest elsewhere anyway.” I gave him a smug smile.

“That little moron?” Brian snorted. “She’s just stringing him along.

Probably trying to make me jealous. Whatever.”

“What if I tell Janie?” I asked, glaring at him. “What then?”

“So what if you do?” Brian rolled his eyes. “You think she’ll break up with me over that? Please. She’ll forgive me in a heartbeat, and I’ll be banging her again inside two weeks, bet me on it. Girls like her… it’s too easy.” Girls like her… what did that mean?

“You should be ashamed of yourself.”

He rolled his eyes. “Whatever, lady.”

“Do you really care so little about her?”

He shrugged. “She’s all right, I guess. Gives good head.” I wanted to hit him. I might have, if Henry hadn’t hauled him into the hallway and punched him in the face. It all happened so fast I barely had time to catch my breath. Henry was yelling and swinging, Brian was yelling and swinging back, although more half-heartedly, since he hadn’t expected the attack. Doc came roaring up the stairs to break it up, pushing each of them against an opposite wall with the heel of each hand.

“What the hell is going on here?”

“Ask Brian.” Henry spat, wiping blood from his lower lip and glowering. “Or Ronnie can tell you. Tell them, Ronnie.”

“I…don’t…” I stood there with my mouth open, paralyzed, my heart sinking when I saw Janie standing at the top of the stairs with Liz beside her, Gretchen and Carrie crowding in behind them.

“Well, whatever it is…” Doc frowned, looking between the two still struggling boys and then back to me. “I think we should call it a night.”

Janie howled, turning to her mother and sobbing. “This is all her fault! Why did you ask her to come back? I hate her!”

I winced at her words, shrinking back against the bathroom door. She glared at me, her eyes flashing, as she hissed, “I hate you! I hate you!” before running to her room.

Brian shook Doc off, heading toward the stairs, mumbling a quick good night, and before I could register what had happened, both he and Liz were gone, Henry had locked himself in his room, and Doc, Carrie and Gretchen had settled back downstairs on the couch. The TV was on, and Carrie had invited me to join them, but I gave her a shaky “No thanks” reply. The couch bed was technically my bedroom, but I didn’t want to hang out there, so I went to Gretchen’s room-my old bedroom-stretched out on the bed, and cried myself to sleep.