A Cat Called Alfie

Chapter Thirty-Two

Love makes the world go round. If you look, you see it; snapshots of love, everywhere you go. Especially on Edgar Road.

In a smile, a look, a gesture, you can feel and see love. It radiates a power that envelops everyone it touches. It wraps you up and keeps you safe and warm. You see the world a bit brighter, the sun feels warmer, the flowers look more colourful, and you see beauty everywhere.

Matt, Polly and the children all showed this love; Claire and Jonathan more than ever now; and it was obvious how much Franceska and Tomasz loved each other and their children. And they all loved me. Even the Goodwins gave off a feeling of love to each other, although it was strange they seemed to derive pleasure from meddling in other people’s lives, but it was clear they loved each other and Salmon in their funny matching-jumper-kind-of-way.

Another month had passed since Tiger and Tom had started hanging out and they were looking almost loving, and, although it was clear that Tom was keener, the way Tiger acted when he was around suggested she was falling for his rather odd charms. So that left me. I loved so many people and cats, but of course the romantic part of my heart was reserved for Snowball.

There were many types of love, I learnt. The happy kind, that surrounded us and the sad kind that surrounded Snowball and the Snells. I knew they all loved each other but they were lost and theirs wasn’t happy love, it was sad love. I had to do something about it, I knew, not least because I needed to win Snowball’s heart. Although that probably makes it sound more selfish than it is, because I also love helping people — you see love can mean so much, it really does make the world go round.

Because Jonathan had stood up to the Goodwins they had become even more determined in their irrational dislike of the Snells. Tiger reported that they had indeed started a petition to get them to move from the road, and they were taking it door to door on our long street. It was ridiculous and the thing was never going to work, because most of the residents of Edgar Road wouldn’t even know who the Snells were. We knew a few neighbours to wave at but even the dreaded Neighbourhood Watch meetings only attracted a fraction of the very long street.

What worried me was what I had heard Jonathan and Claire talking about. If the Snells were indeed vulnerable in any way then they would be made even more so if they felt unwelcome. They might even move to another house for a quiet life and that meant they would take my Snowball with them. Despite the fact there was no actual threat from the Goodwins the upset their action caused could do a lot of harm nonetheless.

In lieu of knowing how to fix everything, it was time for me to make a ‘grand gesture’. I had seen this, both on television and in real life. A grand gesture was something one did to show your loved one how much you loved them, although it usually involved some kind of sacrifice.

It was time for me to do a grand gesture for Snowball. I needed to woo her. I needed to show her that I meant what I said, and that she wasn’t alone. I had barely seen her since that time in the garden a few weeks ago, although I had tried to; she was proving ever more elusive, forcing me to step up my efforts.

I ruled out music, and crossed poetry off my list too as cats aren’t great at reciting it. I could bring her a few gifts but that definitely wasn’t special enough. I had no one to consult either; if I asked Tiger she would give me one of her withering looks and probably laugh at me. So, it was just down to me and I had to remember I was a cat. We might be resourceful but we don’t quite have the resources of humans.

I decided to involve flowers, which all humans seemed to use to woo their women. I thought about the lovely flowers in Polly’s front garden. Surely she could spare a couple of them for me?

I set out to pick some flowers, my plan still hazy but I felt confident that it would come to me. As I poked around in the flower beds, I realized picking flowers wasn’t as easy as it looked. I tried to swipe the flowers with my paw but they just bounced back. Then I tried to scratch at them but that just served to make petals fall off. I tried to get a few, but that wasn’t working, so there was nothing for it, I would have to dig. Digging was hard work — after all, I’m not some hapless dog — and I was beginning to feel as if this wasn’t one of my better ideas, but finally I managed to dig deep enough to grab the flowers by the roots. Sitting, I then used both paws and my mouth to yank them from the ground.

I then faced the problem of how to carry them. All I had available to me was my mouth, so I laid them down, bent my head and picked them up, trying to ignore the earthy taste. I had to admit they didn’t look quite as good as they had in the ground by the time I made my way to Snowball’s house. I hoped that what Claire often said was true; it was the thought that counts.

Snowball’s back garden was deserted, as was the downstairs of the house. I wanted to lay the flowers down but then how would she know that they were from me? I wondered what to do as these slightly destroyed flowers now didn’t feel like such a grand gesture. I looked up at the tree that stood proudly in the garden and I had an idea. If I was in the tree when she saw me, I could climb down and present her with the flowers making the gesture even grander!

I wasn’t the most practised climber but I was a very determined cat so I set off. Climbing with flowers in my mouth was actually harder than walking with them, but I clenched my teeth and got on with it. I didn’t look down until I reached the second branch. It wasn’t too high but definitely high enough, I decided, as I settled down to wait for Snowball.

It was actually really pleasant up there, I decided, as I surveyed my view. I couldn’t see into the upstairs of the house because all the curtains were closed but I watched some birds, who seemed to be aiming for me but swerved at the last minute and darted off. My jaw started to ache from clenching onto the flowers but if I let go now, they would be lost. As time wore on, I wanted to move but couldn’t, and as it grew colder and colder it eventually started to rain.

It had been sunny when I set out, but the sky darkened, the heavens opened and a rain shower ensued. As I felt my fur begin to droop I was beginning to think that this grand gesture wasn’t actually such a good idea. Then Snowball appeared from her cat flap.

‘What on earth are you doing?’ she asked, but she was smiling, or actually laughing at the sight of me, drenched to the skin and now clinging to the branch with cold.

Still, I might be soaking wet but now it was time for me to go down and present the flowers as planned. And ta da!

I then met the next flaw in my plan as I realized that my back legs had seized up. My old injury had returned, just as it often did when it rained. I really hadn’t thought this through. I had spent too long in one position, and I needed to start wiggling them. The only problem was I was in a tree. With flowers in my mouth. What was a cat to do?

‘Alfie, are you OK?’ Snowball said, beginning to look concerned. I had no choice, I opened my mouth and the flowers fluttered to the ground. One of them landed on Snowball’s head. So I guess she got the idea at least. She didn’t look as pleased as I’d hoped though, as she shook the flowers off which were dripping wet too.

‘Sorry, but they were for you.’

‘Alfie, what on earth are you doing?’

‘Well, I had this idea that I’d get you flowers, which by the way isn’t as easy as it looks for a cat. And then I was going to sit up here and wait for you and then jump down and present you with them.’

‘Why on earth would you do that?’

‘It works for humans.’ I was in pain and beginning to feel a bit grumpy.

‘But now?’ Snowball asked.

‘Well I have this problem with my back legs sometimes, so it seems I might be a bit stuck.’

‘Stuck?’

‘Yes, as in I can’t move.’

I tried to wriggle again but my back legs were still too stiff to be much use.

‘Oh, Alfie, what can I do?’ At least she had softened towards me, although she hadn’t picked up the flowers. Or said thank you come to think of it.

There is this urban myth that cats are always being rescued by firemen. It does happen for the less intellectual of our kind, but not as much as people would have you think as it’s the ultimate humiliation for a cat.

‘Would you mind finding my friend Tiger?’ I asked, at a loss. I wasn’t sure what she could do but she understood my physical limitations and might be able to help.

‘OK, I guess I can try. Although this rain doesn’t suit me.’

I told Snowball where she might find her and she reluctantly trotted off. I tried to stretch out but my legs just weren’t having it. I was cold, wet and unable to move, my grand gesture slowly becoming one of my worst ideas ever.

It seemed forever before I saw Tiger following Snowball into the back yard. She took one look at me and laughed.

‘Thanks,’ I said. The rain had stopped as suddenly as it had started, so that was something.

‘What on earth are you doing?’

‘I’m stuck. That’s all you need to know, my back legs have seized up.’ I saw Tiger look at me, then at Snowball and finally at the sad-looking flowers.

‘Oh, Alfie, I’ll come up. You never were very good at climbing trees.’ Tiger quickly climbed the tree and joined me whilst Snowball sat on the ground looking at us.

‘You can’t move at all?’ Tiger asked, sounding concerned finally.

‘My legs have gone all stiff. I’ve tried to wriggle but I don’t think I can. Tiger, promise me that whatever you do you won’t let them call the fire brigade.’

‘What if it means you have to stay up here forever?’

‘Tiger, you were supposed to help.’

‘I know but what can I do? I don’t think I can carry you down, you might have to jump.’

‘But it’s too far and if I land on my back legs it’ll be worse.’

‘Alfie, why do you insist on doing all these stupid things?’

‘Tiger, you’re not helping.’

‘Do you guys maybe want to stop arguing and tell me what I can do?’ Snowball asked but for once we were both lost for words; and ideas.

The patio doors suddenly opened and Christopher walked out. He looked at Snowball, then up at the tree. Tiger looked at me.

‘He’ll save you,’ she whispered.

‘You get down and then he’ll know I’m stuck,’ I suggested. Tiger, showing an agility I could only envy, quickly climbed down from the tree. She joined Snowball.

‘So you’ve got friends, then, Snowball? More than I have,’ Christopher said, looking and sounding glum. ‘Is that Alfie up there?’ he asked.

Snowball miaowed.

‘Is he stuck?’

She miaowed again. Christopher smiled.

‘Don’t worry, mate, I’ll get you.’ He tried to climb up but I was a bit too high for him.

‘Damn it, I can’t get up there,’ he said to himself and I felt a little more petrified. He went to the shed and took something out. When I looked I almost cried with relief, it was a ladder.

‘All rescued, Alfie,’ Christopher said a little while later, looking pleased with himself as he placed me gently on the wet ground. I purred and nuzzled into his legs with gratitude. He put the ladder back in the shed. I stretched and my legs started to regain some movement.

‘I can’t wait to tell everyone,’ he said, and I saw a glimpse of the boy underneath the surly teenager.

‘What was that all about?’ Snowball asked when he’d gone, narrowing her eyes at me.

‘It was my way of cheering you up. Flowers and me up a tree. My grand gesture,’ I explained. When I said it out loud it didn’t make as much sense as it had in my head.

Tiger looked at Snowball and smiled.

‘It didn’t quite go to plan,’ Tiger teased.

‘No, not exactly,’ I replied.

‘But it was a nice thought. Right, come on, Alfie, let’s get you home,’ Tiger said. She was right, I was loath to leave Snowball but I needed to go dry off and rest my legs somewhere warm and comfortable.

‘OK. Sorry about the …’ I started to say to Snowball but she gave me an affectionate flick of her tail.

‘’S all right,’ she replied, neck pulled in coyly. I felt a prickle in my whiskers. I reluctantly started walking away.

‘You know what?’ Tiger said to Snowball. ‘Alfie might be a bit of an idiot at times, with all these harebrained schemes, but you know you could do a lot worse.’

Snowball smiled, actually smiled, in response.

I grinned to myself as I limped home.