A Cry In The Night

24

Erich came in just as the sun began to send slanting rays across the fields. Jenny had decided that no matter what, it was time to tell him about the baby.

He made it unexpectedly easy. He had brought canvases from the cabin, the ones he was planning to exhibit in San Francisco.

“What do you think of them?” he asked her. There was nothing in his voice or manner to suggest that the exchange with Sheriff Gunderson had taken place this morning.

“They’re wonderful, Erich.” Shall I tell him what Joe said? Should I wait? When I go to a doctor, maybe I can find out if amnesia spells can happen to pregnant women.

Erich was looking at her curiously.

“Do you want to come to San Francisco with me, Jenny?”

“Let’s talk about it later.”

He put his arms around her. “Don’t be afraid, darling. I’ll take care of you. Today when Gunderson was badgering you I realized that no matter what happened that night, you’re my whole life. I need you.”

“Erich, I’m so confused.”

“Why is that, darling?”

“Erich, I don’t remember going out with Kevin but Rooney wouldn’t lie.”

“Don’t worry. She’s not a reliable witness. It’s a good thing. Gunderson told me that he’d reopen the inquest in a shot if she were.”

“You mean if someone else came forward and claimed to have seen me get in that car, they’d reopen the inquest and maybe charge me with a crime?”

“There’s no need to talk about it. There’s no other witness.”

Oh, yes, there is, Jenny thought. Could anyone have overheard Joe today? His voice was loud. Joe’s mother was starting to worry that Joe, like his uncle, had a tendency to drink. Suppose sometime in a bar he confided that he’d seen her get in the car with Kevin?

“Could I have forgotten that I went out?” she asked Erich.

He put his arms around her. His hands stroked her hair. “It would have been a shocking experience. Your coat was off. He had the key in his hand when he was found. Maybe, as I suggested to you, Kevin made a pass at you, grabbed the key. Maybe you resisted him. The car started to roll. You got out before it went over the bank.”

“I don’t know,” Jenny said. “I can’t believe it.”

Later when it was time to go upstairs, Erich said, “Wear the aqua gown, darling.”

“I can’t.”

“Can’t? Why not?”

“It’s too small for me. I’m going to have a baby.”

Kevin had responded with dismay the first time she told him she thought she was pregnant. “Hell, Jen, we can’t afford it. Get rid of it.”

Now Erich shouted with joy. “My darling! Oh, Jen, that’s the reason you’ve been looking so ill. Oh, my sweet. Will it be a boy?”

“I’m sure it is.” Jenny laughed, savoring the momentary release from anxiety. He’s already given me a harder time in three months than both girls did in nine.”

“We’ll have to get you right to a good doctor. My son. Do you mind if we call him Erich? It’s the family tradition.”

“I want it that way.”

With her wrapped in his arms on the couch, all the mistrust between them was forgotten. “Jen, we’ve had a rotten break. We’ll put all this misery behind us. We’ll have a big party when I come back from San Francisco. You shouldn’t travel now, should you, not if you haven’t been feeling well? We’ll face this community down. We’ll be a real family. The adoption will be complete by the summer. I’m sorry for MacPartland, but at least he’s not a threat anymore. Oh, Jen…”

Not a threat, Jenny thought. Should she tell Erich about Joe? No, this was the baby’s night.

Finally they went upstairs. Erich was already in bed when she came out of the bathroom. “I’ve missed sleeping with you, Jen,” he said. “I’ve been so lonely.”

“I’ve been so lonely too.” The intense physical relationship between them, heightened and fired by separation, helped her forget the weeks of suffering. “I love you, Jenny. I love you so.”

“Erich, I thought I’d go crazy, feeling so estranged from you…”

“I know.”

“Jen?”

“Yes, darling.”

“I’m anxious to see whom the baby looks like.”

“Mmm, I hope like you… Just like you.”

“How much I hope that too.” His breathing became even.

She began to drift off to sleep, then felt that she’d been slapped with ice water. Oh, God, Erich couldn’t doubt that he was the baby’s father, could he? Of course not. It was just that her nerves were so shot. Everything upset her. But it was the way he’d put it…

In the morning, he said, “I heard you crying in your sleep last night, darling.”

“I wasn’t aware of it.”

“I love you, Jenny.”

“Love is trust, Erich. Please, darling, remember love and trust go hand in hand.”

Three days later he took her to an obstetrician in Granite Place. When she met Dr. Elmendorf she liked him instantly. He was anywhere between fifty and sixty-five, small and bald with knowing eyes.

“You’ve been spotting, Mrs. Krueger?”

“Yes, but that happened both times before and I was fine.”

“Did you lose so much weight at the beginning of your first two pregnancies?”

“No.”

“Were you always anemic?”

“No.”

“Were there any complications about your own birth?”

“I don’t know. I was adopted. My grandmother never mentioned anything. I was born in New York City. That’s about all I know of my background.”

“I see. We’ve got to build you up. I’m aware you’ve been under a great strain.”

What a delicate way of putting it, Jenny thought.

“I’ll want to start you on vitamins. Also no lifting, no pushing or hauling. Get a great deal of rest.”

Erich was sitting beside her. He reached for her hand and stroked it. “I’ll take good care of her, Doctor.”

The eyes rested on Erich speculatively. “I think it would be well if you abstain from marital relations for the next month at least and possibly through the pregnancy if the spotting continues. Will that be too much of a problem?”

“Nothing is too much of a problem if it means that Jenny will have a healthy child.”

The doctor nodded approvingly.

But it is a problem, Jenny thought, dismayed. You see, Doctor, our marital relations give us the one area where we are simply two people who love and want each other and we manage to close the door on jealousy and suspicion and outside pressures.