A Radiant Sky

9

I stayed up late.

Eventually we all said good night. Aaron and Aunt Jo brought our mugs into the kitchen and sat down at the table. Instead of going upstairs to bed, I hung out on the stairs, peering through the slats in the railing as Aunt Jo and her old flame talked in hushed tones, their heads bent together. As I strained to hear what the two Rogues in the kitchen were saying to each other, snippets of memory came pushing through to the forefront of my mind.

Rebellion—

Guardians—

Powerful one day—

For her own good—

Keep her safe.

I was six again, watching my parents have another argument about something I didn’t understand. They were having more and more of them. Almost every night, it seemed.

Little silver bells. When they ring, we’ll know.

If only I had known, if only they hadn’t kept me in the dark, I could have been better prepared for what was happening now. I could have spent my whole life preparing. I wouldn’t have made the friends I did. I wouldn’t have to put the people I love in danger.

If only my mother hadn’t forced me to forget.

The Order controls human fate. And she’d been one of them, for so long. Even after she left, their ways stayed with her. And she hadn’t thought twice about using her powers on me. Her own daughter.

I wished, right then, that somebody had given me a choice.

“You can see better from up here.” A small voice cut into my memories. I glanced up and realized Earth was sitting several steps above me.

“How long have you been there?” I whispered.

She put a finger to her lips. “Shh.” Silently, I moved to sit next to her on the top step, and we peered through the slats in the railing together.

“You’re right,” I whispered. “You can hear better, too.”

“It’s not my first time spying like this.”

I looked at her, surprised.

“No,” I said. “Mine either.”

I guess no matter how strong or powerful I was, part of me still felt like a kid, no idea what I was doing and making it up as I went along. How the hell was I supposed to save the universe?

But if I gave in to that nagging feeling of doubt, the one that told me there was no way I could pull this off, even for just a second, I knew it would unravel everything I’d worked so hard for. There was no room in my life anymore to question. It was time to act.

Side by side, we listened to Aunt Jo and Aaron talk about the past. It occurred to me that I didn’t understand it any more now than I had when I was six.

I opened my eyes just as the first golden reaches of sun were peeking through my window.

Aunt Jo finally let me take the day off of school. It had been a long night, she said, and we could all use time to process what was happening. For once, she even agreed with me that it was safer at home than it was roaming the halls of Northwood.

If the Rebels could attack her store out in the open like that, then maybe Asher had been wrong that cold night on the roof, when he told me the Order wouldn’t strike at school. Maybe the rules had changed, and nowhere was safe anymore.

Raven offered to go to school and keep an eye on Cassie, Dan, and Ian. She knew the Order’s tactics and methods, and could watch out for the Rebels. She would be able to keep my friends safe, until they could all come over. If all of us cut school on the same day, it was sure to raise some eyebrows and cause more than a few phone calls home. And we couldn’t let their parents find out what was going on. Who knew what the Order or the Rebellion would do to them if they did?

I texted Cassie as soon as I woke up.

Big news for all you epic love story fans out there.

Before I could even put my phone down she texted,

Asher’s back???

No, I wrote. Stick with Raven. Come over after school.

A second later,

Just the 2 of us? Raven = She-Devil.

I typed back:

She’s not that bad when you get to know her.

There was a pause while Cassie was either typing or staring daggers at her phone.

She is the physical embodiment of everything I hate in this world.

I typed back the following:

Get used to her because she is going to be on you all day like frosting on a cupcake.

Another pause.

Thanks, Skye. Now I want a cupcake.

After the drama of the night before, and the night before that—and so many nights before—my body ached to move. I pulled on running clothes, laced up my sneakers, and crept out of the bedroom. I was careful not to wake Earth, who had burrowed into a Hello Kitty sleeping bag and was snoring peacefully. On my way downstairs, I passed Raven, curled into a C-shape on the couch in the den. Her porcelain cheeks were red, and her perfect golden eyebrows were arched menacingly. She must have been dreaming—and man, she looked angry. I was glad not to be on the other end of her wrath.

The rest of the house was silent and still. I quietly opened the front door and jogged outside into the cool, spring morning.

Now that ski season was over, I had to think of ways to keep my powers focused and under control. I could do things I never imagined—that suit of fire-armor was new—but I still felt like I had to keep my mind and body in sync. It was easier now, and getting easier every day. Asher and Devin may have showed me what I was capable of, but I could take it from here. I didn’t need them to get stronger. I could do that on my own. What had Raven said to me? Isn’t it always the girls who run the show, anyway?

I could feel the wind in my hair, the weather in my blood, the clouds in my eyes.

At the top of the trail, I looked out over the clearing as I’d done so many times in my life. It used to be one of the only places in the world where I felt truly at peace. But a lot of things had changed in the past few months; I’d had a lot of important milestones here. Once, I slipped on a patch of ice, and would have fallen off the edge, plummeting to my death in the valley below, if Devin hadn’t caught me. After that, it had become our secret, unspoken meeting place. In this peaceful spot, I’d come to terms with a lot of my powers.

“I thought I might find you here,” a voice behind me said. I turned around.

“I was just thinking about you.”

Devin looked like he didn’t know quite how to handle that information. Asher would have said something clever without thinking, like, “I bet you say that to all strange guys you meet in the woods.” But Devin thought things through before he said them out loud. You could see the struggle in his eyes, even now. I always thought it was just because as a Guardian, there was so much he couldn’t express. Now, in the early morning light, I realized it was as simple as this: that’s just how Devin was.

He struggled with things. He said he loved me, but he had betrayed me more times than I could count. Raven’s words from the night before came spilling back to me. How can you love someone who’s hurt you?

In the months that I’d known Devin, I’d felt a range of emotions toward him—a whole spectrum, really. He had been a friend when I’d needed one, and in a moment of shadows and firelight in the woods, I’d questioned my loyalties and let him be something more. We’d been allies, then enemies, and then allies again when he chose to become a Rebel. But Ardith’s warning at school and last night’s attack on the store made it clear as glass: we were enemies, again, and always would be.

“Why are you here?” I asked him. “If you’re coming to warn me, don’t worry. Ardith has already done the job for you.”

“Skye, that’s not—”

“And the Rebellion’s pyrotechnical performance last night spoke volumes, too.”

“I wasn’t a part of that.” He looked pained, like there was more he wanted to say, but he wasn’t sure how to say it.

“Right,” I said. “Just like you never meant to hurt me, and you had no choice about cutting off Raven’s wings, and—”

“You’re right. I’m sorry.”

I stared at him. “You’re . . . you’re what?”

“I’m sorry. I was never able to say that to you, or give you the apology you deserved. Now, I can.”

Now I was the one who couldn’t find the right words.

“Listen, Skye,” he continued, as if gathering the momentum he’d built with his apology. “I didn’t come here to argue with you. I came to say thank you.”

“Wow,” I said. “Now I really don’t know what to say.”

“That’s okay.” The light radiated from his eyes. He looked so free. “I have a lot to say, if you’ll listen.” He led me to our rock, and we sat down. Side by side, just like we used to.

Something about being with Devin felt so strange and different, and I couldn’t place why. The tranquility, I realized. I don’t feel it anymore. I didn’t feel the usual Zen-like calm radiating from him. Instead, I could feel his nervous energy, matching mine, pulsing underneath his skin as his arm brushed against me. It was true. He really wasn’t under the Order’s control—or possibly, anyone else’s.

He was free. He could do whatever he wanted.

“I know we’re fighting against each other now. In some ways, I think we’ll always be fighting against each other. But I just want you to know that when you inspired me to jump, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. You showed me that I needed to break away. I couldn’t have done that without you.” He looked nervous. Maybe as nervous as I felt. “I don’t know. Maybe I needed to hurt you like that in order to realize how bad it was. How much I needed to be free.”

When I had gone to Devin for help when he was still a Guardian, there was always something holding him back. Something in his eyes that, I knew, meant there was a disconnect between what he said and what he felt. It was why my feelings were always so unresolved after I spent time with him. Who was the real Devin? What was really behind those eyes? I wondered if I would soon find out. A light burned in him that I’d never seen before. A different Devin sat next to me.

“Let me get this straight,” I said slowly, puzzling it out. “You’re saying you’re glad you hurt me?”

“I’m saying I didn’t want to do it. I didn’t want to do any of it. And that’s why I jumped. I was choosing freedom.” He looked up, and his deep blue eyes were oceans. “I can finally feel. I can feel everything for the first time. I hate myself for everything I’ve done. And I’m going to do everything I can, everything that’s in my power, to make it up to you.”

I swallowed. I had absolutely no idea how to respond. Running into a burning building, I could handle. But this?

“I’m a Rebel now, Skye.” He grinned, and it lit up his face in a way I’d never seen. “I can break the rules if I want.” The meaning behind his words was clear: Asher isn’t the only one.

“You talk a big game, Devin,” I said when I’d finally found my voice again. “But you never put your money where your mouth is.”

“Okay. How’s this: That Guardian with the long hair? Lucas? Look out for that one. He’s bad news. Ruthless and dangerous.”

“What?” I said. “How do you know?”

“He’s very highly regarded in the Order. Used to be trusted, ranked right below me and Raven. And now . . .” He trailed off.

“Now he’s the one stealing car brakes?”

Devin winced. “Exactly.”

While we were talking, the sun rose higher in the sky. I had to get back. The house would be waking up, wondering where I was, and after last night I didn’t want them to worry. Besides, we had work to do today.

“I have to go,” I said, standing up. “Thank you. For the apology. I’m not sure how I feel about it, but . . .”

“That’s okay.” He brushed off my excuse. “The important thing is that I got to say it.”

I nodded to myself and then made my way back toward the trail.

“Did you know?” he called suddenly as I began to jog away. I stopped and turned back to him. “Tell me the truth.”

“Did I know what?”

“What Asher was planning? What the Rebellion wanted to do to me?”

There was something so strange about the moment, so heartbreaking. We were on equal footing now, Devin and I. We had both been betrayed. We both wanted answers. There was a satisfying symmetry to it.

“Just tell me yes or no.”

“No,” I said finally. “No, I could never let that happen to someone I cared about.”

Devin said nothing. I turned and ran the rest of the way down the trail. But I wasn’t running away from something. I was running toward it.