Abandon

Chapter Twenty-One

This may be the biggest mistake of my life or the smartest thing I’ve ever done. All I know is that it has to be done. I can’t watch her go so soon. Not on Christmas.

“When I asked Chris what I should get you, he told me I should get you something that means something only to me and you. I didn’t know what the fuck that meant and I thought the apartment would be a great present, but I think you’re better at this than I am. I need you to teach me. I need … I need you.” She bites her lip, but I can’t tell if she’s doing it to keep from crying or laughing. “Say something.”

Finally, she smiles and I let out the breath I’m holding. “I think what you mean is … I love you.”

My body tenses when I hear the words, but I know it’s only because I haven’t heard them in so long. “You love me?”

She nods and a strange sensation builds inside me that is so powerful it lights the hollow of my chest on fire. Is this what love feels like? ‘Cause it fucking hurts.

I grab the sides of her head and tilt her face up. There’s a weird trembling in my chest, but my hands are steady and firm as I look her in the eye. “I love you. Nothing else can explain how crazy you make me. And I want you to stay with me, tonight, tomorrow, and … for as long as it takes to make this right, because I know everything seems completely fucked up right now. But it won’t always be that way. We’ll get it right, won’t we?”

She nods again and a tear rolls down her cheek. “We’ll get it right,” she whispers. “Eventually.”

I smile as I lean in to kiss her cheek and the taste of her tears is better than I remember it. I kiss the corner of her mouth and her hands glide up to grab handfuls of my hair. She kisses me hard as I slide my hands under her UNC T-shirt. Her skin is so warm and soft. I can only imagine how much softer it will get over the next few months.

I yank my hoodie off then I pull her shirt over her head. She drags out the moment, moving at an achingly slow pace as she unclasps her lacy white bra and lets it fall to the floor. Her nipples are stiff and inviting. She moans into my mouth as I kiss her and press my chest against hers.

“Are you ready to be fucked?” I whisper as I move down to kiss her neck.

She throws her head back and lets out a throaty laugh that’s sexy as hell. “Oh, Tristan.”

“What?”

She smiles as she traces her finger along my jawline, then she looks me in the eye. “Are you ready to have your world turned inside out?”

I let out a soft chuckle and her smile turns me on even more. “Baby, you can turn me inside out, upside down, sideways … whatever position you prefer. I’m ready when you are.”

“I have more than a few positions in mind.”

She reaches for my waistband, but she doesn’t unbutton my jeans. She grabs my waistband and attempts to push me toward the bed, but I’m too solid to be moved.

She laughs sheepishly and I kiss her forehead. “You can always just ask and I’d be happy to lie down for you.”

“Can you please lie down?”

“No. You lie down.”

“Are we going to argue about this?”

“Nope, because you’re going to do exactly as I say and you’re not going to argue with me. Now strip down and lie on the bed.”

I shove her suitcase off the bed as she undresses, then I unzip her goodie bag. Sifting through the contents, I find an assortment of tools, most of which I’ve used before, but some are a bit foreign, and that intrigues me. First things first, I undress and slip a soft rubber cock ring down to the base of my erection; there will be no premature ejaculation tonight. I glance over at Senia and she’s biting her lip as she watches me. I pull out a smooth pink vibrator that’s as big as my dick, then I lie down next to her. She reaches for me, but I push her hands away.

“You’re not allowed to touch me. Just close your eyes and try not to scream too loud.”

She giggles nervously as she closes her eyes and I turn the vibrator on. I press it against the crook of her neck then I slowly trace a line over the hollow of her throat and down to her chest. She’s breathing faster now and I’m getting harder just watching her chest move quickly up and down. I lightly brush the vibrator over her nipple and she squeezes her eyes tightly shut as she whispers, “Oh, God.”

I trace a light circle around her areola with the vibrator, then I take her nipple into my mouth. I alternate between sucking and flicking and her back begins to arch.

“Try not to move.”

She lets out a nervous chuckle. “Impossible.”

I trail the vibrator over her other nipple then I run it down over her abdomen. I plant a soft kiss just below her navel and I can feel her muscles tense with anticipation.

“Just breathe,” I murmur as I slide the vibrator over her mound and stop there. “Relax.”

I gently spread her legs open and position myself between them. The perfect landing strip of hair I remember from the last time we did this a month ago has grown out a little. I trace the vibrator gently over her slit and she gasps. I keep going until I reach her cheeks then I move back up. I do this a few more times until she’s glistening wet, then I slide the vibrator inside of her, just a few inches, and immediately cover her clit with my mouth.

“Jesus fucking Christ!” she cries, as I angle the vibrator upwards and suck lightly.

“That’s not my name,” I say, then I swirl my tongue and gently press my forearm down on her abdomen to hold her steady as her hips begin to buck.

“Tristan,” she breathes as her body quivers beneath me. “Oh, God, Tristan.”

She grabs my hair and lets out a blood-curdling scream as I finish her off. She begins to pull me up by my hair, but I push her hands away. I turn off the vibrator and set it aside as I continue to stimulate her with my mouth. But this time I slide a finger between her cheeks and her entire body contracts around me as I give her another earth-shattering orgasm.

“Oh my God,” she whispers repeatedly as I kiss my way up her belly.

She’s limp as a wet rag as I slide my arm beneath her lower back and lift her slightly so I can slide into her. She winces as I hit her cervix and the cock ring hits her sensitive clit. She wraps her arms around my shoulders and I tilt my head back to look at her. We lock eyes and I suddenly feel as if I’m right where I’m supposed to be.

Thrusting into her slowly, I lean my forehead against hers and she tightens her arms around my shoulders. We play like this, a sort of back and forth game of giving and receiving; completely lost in each other for hours. I don’t notice the four missed calls or the three voicemail messages flashing on my phone until the next morning – until it’s too late.