Adventures in My Youth

Prologue

Armin Scheiderbauer was born on 13 January 1924 in Gröbming, eastern Styria, the eldest son of a Protestant minister. Armin’s parents were Austrian, and in later life Armin himself retained a sense of Styrian identity. However, in 1930 his parents moved to Thuringia, in order to gain some experience of church life in the ‘homeland’, and it was here, in Germany, that he spent the greater part of his childhood.

Armin’s early years were happy ones, spent in a series of small rural communities. He recalls his days in village schools and friendships with local children with considerable affection. The family was a close and happy one, and frequent visits from relatives and neighbouring ministers created a busy and lively atmosphere in the vicarage. Every aspect of daily life in the vicarage was moulded by religion. Prayers were said in the morning, evening, and at mealtimes, and from an early age Armin was actively involved in the church itself, not only attending services but acting as a bell-ringer and as an organ-pumper on Sundays. Within the family church holidays, such as Reformation Day, were important staging posts of the year. Armin’s confirmation and the course of preparatory lessons which preceded it marked an important rite of passage in the boy’s early life. In later life he looked back on the vicarage and its values – the emphasis on duty, positive action, and putting Christian virtues into practice in daily life – as being a lasting influence on his ideas and outlook.

Religion was not, however, the only important influence on Armin’s social and psychological development. From an early age he took a particular interest in history, and his ideas about Germany and its place in the world were formed in his early childhood. The events of the Great War and the injustice of its outcome were something of which Armin was aware from his earliest years at school. In particular he knew about and was proud of the medals which his own father had gained for service in that conflict. Two events at school played a particular part in developing Armin’s sympathy with nationalistic sentiments. The first was a visit from a participant in the sea-battle outside Skaggerak, who had survived the famous sinking of the cruiser Frauenlob. This inspired in the young Armin an ambition to join the navy, perhaps as a U-boat officer. The second was the performance of the plays Wallenstein and Egmont by Goethe, which awoke in Armin a strong admiration for military valour and an interest in ‘the heroic ideal’. These impressions were strengthened by other nationalistic influences in the environment: a series of images from German history on cigarette cards made a particular impression on his imagination, as did the books detailing subjects such as the history of Germany’s lost colonies which he received as school prizes. Even as a boy Armin had developed the conviction a career in the armed forces would be the most honourable path that he could aspire to.

In the later years in Thuringia political developments, as well as the general nationalistic tone of the period, began to have an impact on Armin’s family. In 1931 Armin’s parents joined the NSDAP. As Protestants they were attracted to the Nazi appeal to ‘positive Christianity’; this appealed to their perception that the Augsburg confession as inextricably linked to the idea of German national identity. Armin’s uncle (who was also his godfather) was even more politically engaged; he fled to the Reich following the failure of the July putsch of 1934 and was a member of the Austrian legion. Armin himself was a member of the Hitler Youth, serving as a banner-bearer and later as treasurer. From 1934, however, the family found itself swimming increasingly against the political tide. As Nazi control of the church grew, and as their intrusion into doctrinal questions increased – their insistence, for example, that the Old Testament was a tainted ‘Jewish’ text which should not be taught in church – Armin’s father felt compelled to join the ‘bekennende Kirche’ movement, which opposed the Nazi inspired ‘deutsche Christen’s’ influence within the church. Although never expelled from the party, Armin’s father was subjected to hostile interrogations on a number of occasions. Faced with the distrust of the Church hierarchy, and even of members of his own congregation in Thuringia, Armin’s father felt compelled to seek a position in Austria. Yet members of the Protestant church in Austria felt suspicious of a man returning from the Church in the ‘homeland’. It was only with some difficulty that his father found a new position, and even then it was as an assistant minister – a demotion which was not only painful to his feelings, but which also entailed a significant deterioration in the financial circumstances of the family.

As a young man Armin was only dimly aware of the political difficulties of his father. However, after the move to Stokerau, which occurred shortly before the outbreak of war, Armin had two experiences which led him to feel some discomfort with the political tone of the times. He was taken to a demonstration against the assassination of von Rath by his schoolteachers. While there he witnessed a group of demonstrators jostling and taunting some Jews who were present. A family friend who saw Armin and his classmates at the demonstration, reproached him for taking part in this harassment, a charge which left him feeling uncomfortable. In 1939, while he was boarding with a family in Sonneberg, he and a group of friends were arrested and held in the police station overnight. The youths had no idea why they had been apprehended, but in the morning were told the reason; they should not have been wandering the streets because the Gauleiter was due in town that day. The boys were completely unaware of the proposed visit. These two incidents left Armin with a strong sense of injustice.

Despite these negative experiences, Armin was nevertheless keen to join the army as soon as he left school in 1941. Indeed, such was his yearning for military glory, that his chief response on hearing the news of the fall of Paris was to fear that the war might be over before he had an opportunity to take part. The stories of heroism on which he had been reared led him to believe the noblest profession to follow would be that of an infantry officer. His own father had been an army officer, and he felt that this type of combat was more authentic and heroic than that found in the other forces. To him the life of an officer represented values similar to those of the church: duty to fatherland; a commitment to order and decency in society; care and responsibility for subordinates. In retrospect he also suspects that he knew that a career in the army would keep him at arm’s length from the political authorities, who had caused so many problems for his family. Upon receiving his call-up papers in July, he therefore left willingly and with some enthusiasm. His only anxiety was that the war might frustrate his plans to marry his childhood sweetheart Herta, as the couple had planned during his last summer in Stockerau.