Alfie and George

Chapter Twenty-six

‘We are now in a state of emergency,’ I announced the next day, having gathered all my cat friends at our usual spot. I needed the whole gang. I felt a little bit like I was commanding an army as I strode backwards and forwards, although they weren’t exactly standing to attention. Elvis was lying on his back, enjoying the sun; Tiger sat with George lying between her paws, looking very sweet; Rocky and Nellie were sitting together; and Tinkerbell was cleaning the back of his legs in a move that would make most yoga enthusiasts jealous. Only Pinkie was absent, which was a stark reminder of one of the reasons we were here.

‘Oh, that sounds very incredibly serious,’ Nellie said excitedly. She loved drama.

‘Not only do we need to find those missing cats, but I also need help with all my humans.’

‘Right, Alfie, so what do you want us to do?’ Elvis asked.

‘Firstly, the cats. We are all feeling under stress now that Pinkie is gone. I mean, we don’t know who or what this threat is and when it might come for any one of us.’ I glanced at George, who thankfully was being nuzzled by Tiger and didn’t seem to be listening.

‘I heard that in some places they eat cats,’ Nellie said. We all shuddered.

‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ Rocky said, but he looked terrified. ‘No one would eat a cat.’

‘What could be happening to all these cats though?’ Elvis said.

‘I have no idea, but listen, my pal Dustbin is on the case for us so I think our best course of action is to wait until we hear back from him. If anyone can find out anything it’s him. But then I also have the other issues and I need you to help me come up with a big idea. A grand plan.’ I explained the problems with all my families to them, leaving no stone unturned.

‘When my family wanted to go overseas they went to a travel agent,’ Rocky said, not very helpfully.

‘I don’t think that’s the issue,’ I pointed out.‘I know I can’t literally make Tomasz go to Poland to get his family but I need to make him realise that that’s what he needs to do.’

‘Oh, I think I understand,’ Tinkerbell said.‘You need to do something to make all your families understand how much they love and need each other.’

Thank goodness. ‘Yes! Exactly!’ Tinkerbell was suddenly my new favourite cat. I was glad that he had become a regular part of our gang. I shot a look at Tiger but she was gazing lovingly at George. Oh blimey, everyone was so obsessed with that kitten, me included. ‘Tiger, can you drag yourself away from George for long enough to pay attention?’ I snapped.

‘That’s it!’ Rocky said.

‘What?’ I asked. Tiger looked up.

‘The boy. Everyone is besotted with the boy, so use him in your plan.’ Rocky looked pleased with himself.

‘Everyone loves me,’ George said.

‘Um, George, it’s important you don’t become too big-headed,’ I said.

‘Well, we all know who he takes after,’ said Tiger. The others laughed; I did not.

‘But anyway, he’s got something there,’ said Elvis. ‘For example, you could put the kitten in danger and then the humans will all come together to save him, or something.’

‘You can’t put him in danger!’ Nellie snapped. George looked scared and hid behind Tiger.

‘No, of course you can’t. I didn’t mean literally, but if they think he is,’ said Elvis.‘Look, we need to try to find the lamppost cats, but what I was thinking was that if your families thought George was one of them, then they would put their problems aside and all get on with it.’

‘Make them think that George has been taken like one of the lamppost cats?’ I felt my brain whirring. ‘You might be right, Elvis. Remember when I was very ill at the vet, it brought all my families together — Claire and Jonathan even fell in love and the others all became friends because of me.’

‘Yes, but you absolutely can’t put him in danger,’ Tiger said. ‘Not like you do with yourself.’

I felt an idea hatching, and my whiskers and fur tingled with excitement. ‘What if we just pretend he’s missing?’ I asked.

‘How do we do that?’ Tiger asked.

‘Well, Tiger, I’m not completely sure yet but let’s say we find somewhere to hide him, and you go with him. He’ll be safe because you’re taking care of him, but everyone else will think he’s lost.’

‘How long? You couldn’t do it for too long, it wouldn’t be fair,’ Tiger pointed out.

‘Yes, that’s true,’ I agreed. ‘Not too long, I mean, he was only missing for a short time the other day and I was terrified, but he has to be lost for just enough time to trouble them all and get them talking.’

‘Ohhh,’ said Nellie.‘Then we can all look for him.’ We all turned our eyes on Nellie.

‘He’s not actually going to be lost, so we won’t have to look for him,’ Tiger said scathingly.

‘Oh, I see,’ Nellie said, but she didn’t look as if she did.

‘Isn’t it mean? To make people worry?’ Tinkerbell asked, looking uncertain.

‘Not in the long run. We need something drastic to make them realise that they love each other. If we hide George, they’ll all look for him and talk properly, and then when we find George alive and well they’ll be so relieved and happy that they’ll sort out their problems. It’s foolproof.’ Well, I hoped it was.

‘Are you sure about this?’ Tiger sounded dubious.

‘No, but have you got any better ideas?’

‘Other than me kidnapping George, making everyone sick with worry before he’s found, and then bringing them all back together again? No, not really.’

‘You aren’t really kidnapping him,’ I pointed out.

‘You know what I mean. Look, Alfie, think about this for a while. They’ll be really worried, and Tinkerbell’s right, it does seem mean. If they’re already upset they don’t need any more stress.’

‘I know, but these humans need a wake-up call, they’re all forgetting about what’s important. Yes, it’s awful that they’ll worry, but it won’t be for too long. We’ve been here before: if they have something else to focus on they begin to see how much they really love each other. It’s the way humans work. I don’t think we have a choice, Tiger, we have to do this. And in the meantime, Dustbin is going to get to the bottom of the real lamppost cats, I just know he is.’ I felt excited; I knew this was going to work out. I just knew it.

‘On your paws be it,’ Tiger snorted. ‘But yes, before you ask, of course I’ll help you, it goes without saying. And I’d be happy to keep George safe for a while, although we need to work out the logistics. Where will we go? What will he eat? How do I keep him warm?’

‘We’ll all help you, Alfie,’ Nellie said.‘It brings us together too, doesn’t it, these plans of yours?’ I was relieved, Nellie had finally got it.

‘See, Tiger,’ I said.‘I know what I’m doing.’ I couldn’t help but feel a little bit smug. It made sense. Everyone chasing after a lost George would make them all see how much they needed each other, and then they’d talk, really talk, to each other. Matt and Polly, Claire and Jonathan, and then Tomasz would realise he had to go to Poland to get his family, and Tash would see how important love was and would give Max a chance. I know it seemed I was always chasing a happy ending for everyone I loved, and I was, but there was nothing wrong with that. It’s just what any loving cat would do.