Alfie and George

Chapter Thirty-one

I felt nervous. Of all the plans I had ever put into play, this one had the most riding on it. Not only George but potentially all the lamppost cats would be saved by this. I had rounded up as many of my friends as I could to explain what we needed to do.

After long discussions with Mr B and Dustbin I had all the information I needed, and they had even taken Tiger and I to the house. As they had said, it was in total darkness, but we could hear faint cat noises coming from inside. The front gate wasn’t going to help us but the back fence, which stretched around the house, was wire, and although it wouldn’t be easy, it provided a possibility.

The best thing though was that the creatures guarding the house turned out to be hens. Their run followed the fence all the way along its length, so the only way to get into the garden was via them. I managed to poke my nose through the fence, and although they were angry, squawking and wobbling their heads at me, when I explained that I had many hen friends in the country — only a slight exaggeration — they were more welcoming. At least they didn’t try to peck me through the fence with their beaks, anyway. We didn’t exactly communicate easily but we managed to establish that I would need their help, and as they calmed down I think they agreed to it. I was thankful for my time in the country: my understanding of hens looked as if it was finally coming in handy.

‘Impressive,’ Dustbin said as I came back. ‘But that fence will be tricky to climb.’ He was right: it was tall and there was spiked wire along the top. It didn’t look very safe.

‘I know, I think I can do it though, if I put my mind to it,’ I said, trying to sound brave, although I was quaking all the way down to my paws.

‘Oh, Alfie, are you sure, it looks as if it could really hurt you and your leg …’Tiger sounded worried.

‘Tiger, if my boy is in there I have to do it. I’ll get over there somehow.’ The others looked worried but it was agreed that Dustbin would accompany me. Tiger and I then left Dustbin and Mr B to keep watch on the house. They were going to wait there, because we still had a lot to do before we were ready for the actual cat rescue.

‘So, Alfie, what can we do?’ Rocky asked as I told them about the house.

I outlined our plan from start to finish, leaving no stone unturned, and by the time I had finished speaking everyone understood how serious it was. ‘So, guys, I’m going to go. Dustbin and Mr B are waiting.’ I looked at Tiger, the only other cat who knew where the house was. She was needed in case anything went wrong.‘I have to sort out the humans too, but if you guys could find Salmon for me then that would be great. Tiger, can you direct Salmon to the house?’ I explained exactly what I needed Salmon to do. I wanted to give all my friends a part in the plan, although many of them were just going to be supportive roles. I knew how important it was for them to feel useful. Tinkerbell was going to assist Tiger, whilst Rocky, Nellie and Elvis were going to ensure they knew what was going on and would warn either Tiger or Tinkerbell of any problems. I could see how fired up they all were. Frightened, yes, but adrenaline was pumping through all of us. We were going to rescue George.

This plan was risky because I couldn’t do it with my cats alone. I had to get the humans involved and that wasn’t going to be easy. However, everyone agreed they knew their parts and what they had to do, so I felt as confident as I could.

‘Good luck, Alfie, we’re all supporting you, and we’ll be waiting to see you come home safely with the boy,’ Elvis said.

‘You’re such a brave cat,’ Nellie added.

I took a deep breath, and went to put the plan into action.

My first stop was home. I needed some humans with me and my preferred ones were Jonathan and Matt. They were physically fit and if I could get them to come with me then that would be half the battle won. Or quite a bit of it anyway. I still had quite a bit of work to do, as did Dustbin, who being such a tough cat was my chosen sidekick.

Once we got to the house I knew everything would happen very quickly, but first I had to get there and hope that I could get at least some of my humans there too.

I walked into the kitchen. It was funny how wrong it felt without George. He had only lived with us for a short time but the house needed him. I padded my way over to where Claire and Tash were feeding the children. Polly was pacing, as was Matt. Jonathan was on his phone.

‘Oh, Alfie, there you are,’ Claire said.‘I guess there’s still no news?’

‘Miaow.’ I took a breath.‘Miaow, miaow, miaow, miaow,’ I screeched as loudly as I could. Everyone stared at me. Right, so I’d got their attention. I ran around in circles, still yowling, then I ran towards the front door, the idea being that someone would follow me.

As I sat by the front door, listening to them all talking about me in the kitchen, I began to realise that might not happen.

‘Has he gone mad?’ Tash asked.

‘Blimey, who knew he could even make that noise,’ Jonathan said. OK, I told myself, trying to keep calm, this wasn’t going to be as easy as I thought.

I went back and repeated the routine, yowling, miaowing and making as much noise as I could, but they all just stared at me dumbfounded, and then Summer burst into tears. I was feeling frustrated as Claire comforted her, telling her not to worry, though she looked worried herself. I went to Jonathan. He was my only hope it seemed, and that was slim. Honestly, they say humans are clever, but really? These guys were not showing it very well. I tried to sit up and swipe at his leg, but he just looked at me.

‘What, Alfie?’ he asked.

‘YOWL!!’ I replied, but still he looked confused. I hated to do it, and hoped he would forgive me later, but I had no choice. I scratched him as forcefully as I could.

‘Ow! What on earth did you do that for?’

I took my chance as he looked at me angrily. ‘MEOW,’ I said, running towards the front door.

‘I think he wants you to follow him,’ Claire said at last.‘Do you think he knows something?’

As I sat by the front door, bashing it with my head to further illustrate my point, Matt, Jonathan and Polly finally appeared. At this rate I would have to knock myself out before they did what I needed them to do. As Jonathan opened the door I ran out, glad to see he followed me.

‘What is he doing?’ Polly asked as she stood at the door.

‘No idea, but Jon and I will follow him, you guys stay with the kids. I’ll call you if anything happens,’ Matt shouted as they started following me down the road. I took the route that I had memorised so carefully. I was tired but we had to hurry. If George was in that strange house then I wanted him out of there as quickly as possible.

I remembered the route perfectly, which was a huge relief, and as I reached the house, Mr B and Dustbin were waiting for me. I wasn’t sure what Matt and Jonathan would think but Mr B slipped into the shadows, leaving only Dustbin and me.

‘I think I saw your boy,’ Dustbin whispered. ‘There was a moment when the curtain went back and I can’t be sure but I think it might have been George.’

‘I hope it was.’ My heart sang at the idea.‘Are you ready?’ I asked, and Dustbin indicated he was.

Matt and Jonathan were standing by the high gate, trying and failing to open it. They banged on it loudly but to no avail.

‘What is this?’ Matt asked.

‘No idea, maybe Alfie really has gone mad? Mad cat’s disease or something,’ Jonathan said. I yowled at him — this was no time for jokes.‘OK, sorry. Right, Alfie. What is this place and who is that enormous cat?’

‘I can’t be sure but I think it might be Tomasz’s restaurant cat,’ Matt said, looking puzzled.

‘Nothing would surprise me with these guys,’ Jonathan said, as we led them to the fence. I miaowed a lot to get the chickens’ attention. They stared at me with their small beady eyes but stayed quiet, which I took to mean they were ready for us. I took a breath and then started scaling the fence. It wasn’t easy: the wire was slippery and it was high.

‘Blimey, what’s he doing?’ Matt asked. I noticed neither of them tried to help me.

‘Do you think, I mean, is it possible, that maybe George is in that house?’

‘I can’t see why else Alfie would do that. He doesn’t like heights remember.’

As I climbed with Dustbin by my side, encouraging me, I ignored the humans. At least they had figured out why we were here, so hopefully they would actually do something useful now. After what seemed like forever, I made it over the spikes and prepared to begin my descent. Going down looked so much scarier than coming up. I froze.

‘I think we should call the police,’ Jonathan said finally.

‘And say what?’ Matt replied.

‘That there might be a cat snatcher in that house,’ Jonathan said. I glanced back at him from the top of the fence and he pulled out his phone.

‘What evidence do we have though?’ Matt asked.

‘Well, they have our cat, or they will in a minute anyway. Look, Alfie’s about get in there.’

Out of the corner of my eye I could see Jonathan pull out his phone and start to dial, looking anxious.

‘They might not believe us,’ Matt said.‘Although yes, if you say our cat is in there it might work.’

‘Exactly. Unless you’ve got any better ideas? If there is a cat snatcher in there they might be nasty, so we can’t take them on.’

‘True, right, get the police,’ Matt said, still sounding uncertain.

‘It’s OK, Alfie,’ Dustbin said quietly. ‘Watch me, just go quickly, gripping where you can, and you’ll be on the ground in no time.

I was still terrified. Matt was right, I didn’t like heights — and what if Dustbin and I were heading into terrible danger? I was glad Jonathan was calling the police.

I gave myself a little pep talk and, as I saw Dustbin reach the bottom, I knew I could do it. I could do it for my boy. I landed a little roughly but I made it. Dustbin still looked scared of the chickens but he managed to jump out of the coop easily. I looked at the chickens.

‘I hope you understand this. I’m going to chase you, but I promise I won’t hurt you, I just need you to make a lot of noise,’ I told them.

‘Cluck, cluck, cluck,’ they replied, which I was pretty sure was hen-speak for ‘yes’.

I took a breath and started running after the chickens. They flew everywhere, and thankfully they must have understood me as they made a huge racket. Even though I was tired, I kept going, and the chickens made more and more noise. Probably a bit more than necessary, but then chickens could be quite dramatic. Feathers started flying. I hadn’t even done anything.

‘Blimey, why is he chasing chickens? He was scared of them when we were on holiday — didn’t want to go anywhere near them,’ Jonathan said. ‘Alfie, stop that, stop that now!’ he shouted, but of course I wasn’t going to stop for him.

Finally a door sprang open and a scruffy lady emerged. As she ran at me screaming, Dustbin managed to sneak into house. Great, the first part of our plan had worked!

‘Get off my chickens,’ the woman shouted; she sounded a bit like the queen. ‘Get off them!’ Yeah, as if, I thought. I chased the chickens even harder, until I was sure Dustbin was safely inside. Thankfully the woman had forgotten to shut the door too. The idea was that he would tell all the cats to come out, so there could be no doubt that this person had the missing lamppost cats. I just hoped she did have them, after all of this. It would be a bit embarrassing otherwise.

‘We’re sorry,’ Jonathan said, his voice shaky as if he was nervous, when the woman noticed them. ‘Alfie, get out of there!’ I did as he asked, hopping into the woman’s garden to stand by her feet. I noticed she was wearing one boot, but the other foot only had a holey sock on it. She didn’t exactly look dangerous, although her grey hair was wild and she wore a huge jumper over what looked like pyjamas.

‘Right, well, I’m sorry about this but if you could open the front gate, then Alfie can come with us,’ Matt said, glancing at Jonathan. He and Jonathan turned around; they were looking for the police, I guessed.

‘I will do no such thing. This cat is mine now,’ she said, looking at me. ‘Ahh, I don’t have a British Blue and you are very handsome.’ I raised my whiskers — how kind of her to notice — but then I remembered where I was and why I was there.

‘He’s our cat,’ Matt said angrily.‘Give him back!’ He stood as close as he could to the fence and Jonathan joined him.

‘Yowl,’ I said angrily.

The woman stared at me, then at Jonathan and Matt before turning around and looking at her back door.

‘Arrrghhh!’ she screamed as Dustbin emerged, followed by a horde of cats. My heart quickened as I saw George next to Dustbin.

‘Miaow,’ I said, running up to him.‘Thank goodness you’re all right.’ I nuzzled him with all my might.

‘Dad, I knew you’d come,’ George replied.

‘Right, no time for that just now, we need to stick together.’ I saw Pinkie emerge with the others; there must have been about twenty cats there! She ran over to me.

‘Thank goodness,’ she said. ‘Alfie, thank goodness you’re here.’ She looked upset. ‘I’m so relieved to be out. I really didn’t like being there, not even her fridge was a comfort to me.’

‘It’s OK, you are all free now,’ I said.

Although I realised with a sinking feeling that actually none of us were; we were still stuck in the woman’s garden.

‘You really are the cat snatcher!’ Jonathan shouted above the noise, as cats of all shapes and sizes ran around the garden, miaowing loudly.

‘I most certainly am not,’ the woman replied.

‘But you’ve got our kitten, and you’re trying to take Alfie!’ Matt said.

‘They are all mine. Mine I tell you,’ she screeched. I looked at her, worried she was deranged. As she tried to round up the cats, including me, two things happened. We heard a police siren coming closer, just as Vic and Heather Goodwin ran up to Matt and Jonathan, with Salmon at their heels. I had never been so pleased to see them. Actually before now I had never been pleased to see them, so this situation really was very odd.

‘What is going on?’ Vic shouted.

‘She’s the cat snatcher,’ Matt said.

I snuggled close to George; we didn’t know how to get out but at least I had my boy. The other cats all seemed happy to be outside as they ran around in circles, enjoying their freedom.

‘What, this old lady?’ Heather asked, incredulous.‘Citizen’s arrest!’ she shouted, although how she was going to do that from the other side of the fence I wasn’t sure.

‘I am not the cat snatcher. These are all my cats,’ the woman maintained.

‘The police are on the way,’ Matt told them.

‘Good. And that’s not true, lady.’ Vic waved a bunch of papers at the woman. ‘All these cats have been reported missing.’

‘And George is one of them,’ Jonathan said.

‘You are a cat-napper of the worst kind,’ Heather shouted.

‘But …’ The woman looked defeated.‘I just wanted them to be mine.’

The police car pulled up and two policemen got out.

‘What on earth is going on?’ one of them asked, as Vic took it upon himself to explain.

In the ensuing madness, I was able to check that George was all right. He said that Pinkie had looked after him and the other cats were all very friendly. They were all very upset to have been kitty-napped, as they thought of it. But the cat snatcher, who it turned out was called Henrietta, was kind to them, although she wouldn’t let them go out, so the house was a mess and the cats were all stir-crazy. She hadn’t been mean though, which to me was the main thing.

It transpired that she had grabbed George from Tiger’s back step in the few seconds he had been there alone. She must have been watching us. I shuddered to think that I had been so careless.

‘Let us in,’ one policeman said.

‘I’d rather not,’ the lady replied uncertainly.

‘Either let us in or we will have to force our way in, and you’re in enough trouble as it is.’

As the police eventually gained entry, with Matt and Jonathan alongside them, Vic and Heather also barged in. They were doing their best to tell the bemused policemen what to do.

‘You should arrest her,’Vic said.

‘Lock her up and throw away the key,’ Heather concurred.

‘Well, perhaps first we should sort out what to do with all these cats. It’s not like we can take them to the station,’ one of the policemen said, looking slightly afraid.

‘No need,’ said Heather. ‘We can call all the owners and they’ll come and collect them. Look, I’ve got the posters. We took a copy of each so we knew what cats to look out for. We don’t run the neighbourhood watch for nothing, you know.’

‘Well that is good, Mr and Mrs Goodwin. Right, Ms …’

‘Babbington-Smythe. But you can call me Henrietta,’ the strange lady said. She even held out her hand to the officer, who looked confused but shook it.

‘Come with me,’ said one of the policemen.‘I’m afraid I’ll have to ask you to wait inside while we sort this out.’ The other policeman used his radio to inform someone that they had a cat situation which may take a while. As Matt scooped up George, Jonathan phoned Claire to tell her what was going on and I managed to get a quiet moment with Dustbin and Mr B.

‘I don’t know how to thank you, Mr B, you did a sterling job. And, Dustbin, you proved, yet again, what a great friend you are. None of these cats would be free without you.’

‘I dunno about that, Alfie, but I’m just glad the boy is all right,’ said Dustbin. ‘The other cats too, of course, but especially him.’ We nuzzled.‘And, Alfie, it took real guts to do what you did, that fence, your fear of heights, the hens. Good job.’

‘I’m sorry to interrupt, but I must get back, you never know when I’ll be needed next,’ Mr B said. They both managed to get away without anyone noticing or trying to rehome them, thankfully.

After what seemed like ages with the policeman, we were allowed to go. Heather and Vic agreed to wait for the other cat owners, only to help the police, of course. As I gave Salmon a grin, I realised the Goodwins were in their element. They were loving every minute, although possibly disappointed they didn’t get to make a citizen’s arrest.

As we made our way home, Matt carrying George, Jonathan carrying me, I realised that this plan had worked pretty well. No one was hurt, I hadn’t got more than a couple of scratches from the fence, no chickens had been harmed, and I had George safe and sound with me.

‘Thank you all so much,’ I said to the chickens. I felt as if I was friends with the creatures now.

‘Cluck,’ they replied, bobbing their heads in what I could only assume meant ‘you’re welcome’.

My relief was palpable. I had relied on a team, and that team had really come through. As we approached Edgar Road I saw Tiger at my gate. I miaowed and Jonathan set me down.

‘He’s safe,’ I said, grinning.

‘Oh, Alfie, you did it!’ Tiger looked so happy and I felt closer to her than ever in that moment.

‘No, Tiger, we did it.’ I nuzzled her and felt like the luckiest cat in the world.