An Ordinary College Sex Life

Chapter 8: Adrift

“I can’t do this.”

Such a simple phrase, four little words that individually are so common and mundane as to be irrelevant. But strung together, with the weight of Adrienne’s emotions behind them, the phrase managed to wrap around my heart, squeeze until it simply collapsed, and left me a crushed and vacant shell of the man I used to be.

What does ‘I can’t do this’ even mean? Did Adrienne mean ‘I can’t deal with these weighty emotions right now because it’s finals but we’ll talk about it at the end of the week’? Did she mean ‘I love you but I’m not ready to take that next committed step in our relationship but I still want to be your casual girlfriend’?

Or did she mean ‘The relationship is over; I’m dumping your overbearing ass and never talking to you again’?

I didn’t know. I wasn’t sure. And all I really knew was that I HURT inside. I hurt so much that I didn’t even know how badly I hurt. It was as if my emotions — shocked so suddenly and so abruptly — merely shut down in self-defense. I felt cold and detached and ... nothing else.

Well, my kneecaps hurt. Kneeling on hardwood will do that to you. So I rocked back into a full squat, rubbing my knees before standing upright. Only then did I look around the room and notice that Dawn was still standing in the doorway, one hand covering her mouth in abject shock herself. She blinked several times as I simply started walking toward her.

At first, she removed her hand from her mouth to reach out to me, but I ignored her motion and simply walked past her and out into the hallway. I didn’t need comforting right now. Robots don’t need comforting. Robots can’t feel. I simply wanted to verify that Adrienne was well and truly gone.

She was. The hallway was empty. The front door was closed.

But I wasn’t alone. Dawn still stood right behind me. And crowding the entryway between the hallway and the living room were Paige, Ryan, Bert, and Robin. The four of them had been studying for finals, but now looked back at me with surprised expressions on their faces. Clearly, they’d seen a sobbing Adrienne hurry out the door with Grace holding her. And as one, the four of them studied me as if an explanation would come tumbling out of my lips.

None was forthcoming. Robots don’t need to explain unless a direct question is asked of them. I simply nodded to myself in confirmation that Adrienne was gone, and then I turned back to my bedroom. Going into a catatonic shut-down right now seemed like a very good idea.

But just as I was turning about, Gwen stepped out of the bathroom and came to a dead stop, startled to find six people staring at her. Her mouth opened slightly and she quickly glanced around at all six of us, silently standing around the hallway. “Uh, what’s going on?”

To this day, I’m not entirely sure why I did what I did next. I search back through my memory and wonder what processes of logic led me to that particular course of action, and I come up empty. Perhaps my brain had already shut off and I moved entirely on instinct. I simply reacted according to my nature.

And I am a sexual creature.

Without warning, I reached out and grabbed Gwen’s arm, yanking her abruptly through my bedroom doorway and slamming the door shut before Dawn could even react. I’d flipped the lock and propelled the dirty-blonde babe over to my bed before she even realized what was happening to her, and had Gwen seated at the edge of the mattress by the time the urgent banging on the door began.

“Ben!” Dawn called, alarm in her voice. The sound of the doorknob being twisted soon followed.

“Ben! What’s going on?” Paige’s voice plaintively joined her.

“Ben, what’s going on?” Gwen repeated, a note of fear creeping into her voice. I can only imagine what was going through her mind at that point. My face was impassive, my expression cold. But then she had no more time to react as I simply tackled her flat on her back across my bed and shoved my tongue into her mouth.

“MMPH!” Gwen grunted in surprise and at first, her lips fought to resist me. But then as my hands raced across her body, I felt her mouth go slack and accept my tongue while lightning bolts of pleasure shot through her. And her grunt turned into a soft, aroused moan. “Mmm...”

I was completely on autopilot. Completely absent of rational thought, I didn’t bother to contemplate what I was doing or why I was doing it. I simply MOVED. My fingertips ran up the naked skin of her sides, pulling the hem of her polo shirt up her torso and out of the way. The sensations tickled her gently and caused her to spasm momentarily and tighten up her muscles. And while she was still in this tense state, my right hand slipped beneath her bra and pinched HARD onto her left nipple, the more sensitive one, causing her to squeak in pain and surprise.

While she was still squeaking, I bore down even harder with my mouth, forcefully pressing my lips into hers and shoving her head deeper into the mattress. Without words, I told her that she was mine. I owned her body. And she would submit beneath me. My right hand gripped her boob and pinched the nipple again while my left hand slid back down to her hips and deftly undid the clasp of her jeans. Once the jeans went slack around her waist, I slipped my hand beneath the band of her panties and slid my palm around her hip to cup her right asscheek. And then I mounted her body and ground the bulge in my own jeans against her crotch, crushing her beneath me while I once again imposed my will over hers with my mouth.

I’d only ever been with Gwen the one time, that Thanksgiving weekend when I gave Dawn to Ryan. But that was all the experience I needed. Her user manual was pretty simple, and I had all the procedures committed to memory. And after running my right thumb along the crease beneath her left breast and rubbing my left index finger through the valley of her butt-cleavage, I had her right where I wanted her as I slid off her body to lie beside the trembling girl.

Gwen let her head fall back as I moved my weight off her, gasping for oxygen and struggling to focus. Her mind was racing from the incredibly passionate kiss I’d just finished planting on her and even though I was no longer physically smothering her, my right hand was still stimulating her body. But she managed one tiny moment of clarity. “Ben!” she gasped. “What’s going on?”

I didn’t bother to answer. I was already shifting myself into a better position as my left hand came out from palming her ass, sliding around inside her panties until I once again was in front, my fingers rustling through her trimmed pubic hairs. All the little touches and caresses up until this point had been solely to stoke her arousal and get her just barely wet enough for what I wanted to do next. And without further ado, I plunged my middle finger between her slightly damp labia.

“Oh, SHIT!” Gwen threw her head back, her eyes popping WIDE open. Her dirty blonde hair had been growing out ever since I first met her, now practically a mane of elegantly done curls and waves that haloed around her head, longer than pretty much any other girl I knew. The mess of dark and blonde mixed together gave her a wild look. And her light brown eyes, accented by her dark mascara and heavy eyeshadow, made her look even wilder.

I nibbled on her neck, groped her tit, and plunged my finger in and out of her rapidly moistening pussy. Gwen panted and moaned in obvious heat despite being unceremoniously yanked into my bedroom just minutes before. My right hand was now racing across her body, unsnapping her bra and shoving both it and her shirt above her perky tits. I also tugged down at her jeans and thong panties, giving my left hand more room to maneuver. And then I abruptly pulled myself away from her neckline as I used both hands to jerk her bottoms off her legs in a single, smooth motion.

“Ben!” Gwen picked her head up as she found herself completely naked below her shoulders. A measure of clarity had returned once I no longer had a finger wriggling inside her pussy. And she held her hands up to me in a ‘wait, wait’ gesture. “Ben we can’t do this! I’m a slut! Not a cheater!”

The word “cheater” was the first thing that stirred my brain from its self-imposed slumber. She was right. Gwen had a boyfriend now: Rick Rusedski. He was a nice enough guy. A little frat boy for my taste, but he was still Gwen’s boyfriend. And I had his girlfriend naked before me.

Maybe I should have stopped then. But while my brain had awoken, it was not yet in control of my body. I simply stared at the pretty girl, seeing the indecision on her face as I crawled between her legs and gripped her thighs in my hands. All year, Gwen had been begging me for an encore to what she termed “the greatest sexual experience of her life”. Now, she was about to get it.

So I left the decision up to her. “You wanna stop? Just say ‘stop’,” I said gruffly. Then I pulled apart her thighs and ducked my head a little lower. Exhaling straight onto her pussy, I waited to the count of three.

One...

Two...

Three...

She didn’t say ‘stop’. So I stuck out my tongue and swiped it along Gwen’s slit from base to clit. She shuddered, shivered, and moaned.

And then I fucked the shit out of her.

“Unnnghhh...” Gwen groaned, her eyebrows furrowing. She lay on her side, right cheek pressed into the mattress, an obvious dark spot of wetness radiating out from her mouth where she’d been drooling for the past ten minutes. Her dirty-blonde hair was still a mess, her sweaty bangs now sticking to her forehead. Her eyes were pinched shut and she whimpered constantly while I continued sawing in and out of her sopping wet pussy.

I was currently straddling Gwen’s right leg as I fucked her. Her left knee was bent back to her own belly, propping her on her side while I drilled myself in and out of her body. Her light skin was flush with heat and moisture, now slightly pink. Her asscheeks were even redder from where I’d been repeatedly spanking her. Save for the blonde’s whimpering, the only sound in the room was that of her twice cum-filled pussy squishing audibly with my every stroke.

And I was about to fill her for a third time.

She’d already gone limp. Gwen was completely exhausted, having endured more orgasms than I could count. There was no tenderness to our fucking. I simply drove her up and over the proverbial wall again and again without mercy or consideration. I didn’t make her cum to make her happy. I made her cum for the visceral self-satisfaction of making the poor girl go so far beyond her limits. I’d made her pass out once before, that first fuck a year and a half ago. I could have done it again an hour ago. But some dark, twisted part of me enjoyed stringing her along, keeping her on the brink of unconsciousness at the razor’s edge between pleasure and oblivion.

But now as I felt my third ejaculation building up inside me, I decided to get it over with. I hadn’t taken my cock completely out of her cunt even once for this entire session, squirting her full of jism twice and continuing to rut inside her until I got hard again. But even in my cold, robotic mode, I was tiring.

So my left hand moved away from her swaying breast and down to her pussy. I grazed my fingertips lightly over her already abused clit, tickling the protruding love button so that the sensations would be impossible to ignore.

Even exhausted, Gwen twitched and wriggled as she felt the direct stimulation, her whimpering turning back into desperate moans. “Please...” she groaned, not finishing the sentence. What did she mean? ‘Please make me cum’, perhaps? She might even be pleading, ‘Please just make it all stop; I can’t handle any more’.

I was about to do both, anyways. I teased her clit until her breathing shortened into staccato, gasping bursts. Gwen hyperventilated as the overwhelming sensations flooded her mind; and I watched her neck contorting as mixed pain and pleasure wracked her body. For over and hour and a half straight, I’d manipulated her body like a marionette, making her cum when and how I wanted. And now I would finally finish her off.

Her gasps sped up until she couldn’t possibly breathe any faster, and just as I sensed her reaching her zenith, I clamped my left hand over her mouth and nostrils, suffocating her briefly. At the same time, I rammed my cock in and out of her cunt at a rapid pace while popping my right index finger into her clenched asshole. And deprived of oxygen and overstimulated by the pain and my finger up her butt, Gwen exploded. Her whole body jerked, her spine bending as she arched backwards. With my hand still covering her nose and mouth, I used her body as leverage to lunge my cock to maximum depth inside her cunt. And then I held her there, smothered beneath my heavy weight, unable to move or breathe while the orgasm literally sent her into a seizure.

After about fifteen seconds of this, her eyes rolled up into her head as she passed out. Gwen’s body curled up and went totally limp; and I dropped my hands away, planting my palms on the mattress to support myself while I felt my dickhead expand and begin spitting out my third batch of semen into her now-unconscious body. She was utterly motionless, except for her still clenching and spasming cunt, now so overloaded with both her own and my orgasmic fluids that her pussy muscles started squirting juices out of our joining to soak both her and my thighs.

When I was done, and only when I was done, I finally rolled off her and flat onto my back, panting heavily with my own exertion. I left Gwen a puddle of orgasmic goo beside me, curled in a fetal position and comatose with her still twitching pussy squirting out more and more mingled spunk.

And then I surrendered to unconsciousness myself.

I woke up with my eyes still closed, but somehow I knew exactly where I was and who I was with.

I was buck naked in my room, lying flat on my back on my own bed. My head was currently in the warm lap of a beautiful girl. And she was tenderly stroking my hair back from my forehead and along my scalp.

I stiffened slightly as I came awake, and her soothing hand stroked deeper and more firmly, calming me. I realized that I was cocooned beneath my blankets, which covered my nudity and kept me warm. And still with my eyes closed, I exhaled slowly before asking, “What time is it, Dawn?”

My best friend’s sweet voice answered, “Almost nine. PM. You’ve been asleep for more than two hours.”

Slowly, I cracked my eyelids open and blinked as Dawn’s pretty face came into focus. She had changed and showered since I last saw her, now wearing a baggy T-shirt with no bra and her hair held back in a simple ponytail, more functional than stylish. And her crystal blue eyes looked down on me with nothing but love, warmth, and understanding.

Recognizing these emotions, I realized that my brain was once again active and in control of my body. And with that activity came the memories of Adrienne walking out, as well as of what I’d done to Gwen. Not “with” Gwen. “To” Gwen.

“Where’s Gwen?” I asked, my tongue still feeling a little thick.

Dawn’s eyebrows rose, but she nodded. “She woke up about twenty minutes ago and let us in. Bert and Robin took her back to the dorms.”

I nodded and exhaled slowly. Then wincing, I stared my friend in her eyes and asked, “Does she hate me?”

Dawn arched an eyebrow at my question. She thought about it for a moment before answering. “Well ... she’s confused. She’s exhausted. Bert practically had to carry her out the door. But no, I don’t think she hates you.”

I exhaled in relief and closed my eyes. “Okay...”

“Why’d you do it?” Dawn asked softly.

Slowly, I cracked my eyes opened again. “What? Fuck her?”

Dawn nodded.

I shook my head, both hearing and feeling the friction of my hair in her lap. “I don’t know. It’s all kind of a haze.” And then I sighed before zeroing in on my last really clear memory. It was that of Adrienne walking away. I flashed my gaze up to Dawn’s eyes again and asked hesitantly. “Did ... did Adrienne come back?”

I saw the answer in Dawn’s eyes. She looked so sad and sympathetic for me that I felt my heart cracking anew. My lips quivered and I felt like breaking down into tears again. She was gone. My girlfriend ... my love ... was gone. She’d walked away from me. And somehow I knew this wasn’t just a simple fight where everything would be fine in the morning. My relationship with Adrienne — at least the boyfriend/girlfriend relationship — was over.

Just as I started whimpering on the path to full-blown sobbing, Dawn held both my cheeks and stared down at me. “Hey!”

It was sudden enough that my attempt at sobbing like a little baby was stopped before I really got started. I opened my eyes and looked at her in confusion.

“You want something to eat?” Dawn asked flippantly. “We ordered pizza and there’re plenty of leftovers.”

I winced and then shook my head. Food was not interesting to me right now. But her little shock worked; while still sad, I didn’t feel like crying anymore.

Dawn nodded in understanding and went back to stroking my forehead. I sighed and closed my eyes again, wanting to just melt into her lap and make the world go away. But a male voice cleared his throat. “Ahem.”

I opened my eyes and looked over. Ryan was standing in the open doorway, one arm leaning against the frame. He too, was dressed to stay in tonight. Most of the time he went home, but this looked like a night when he was sleeping over in Dawn’s room. “You coming back out?”

Dawn glanced down at me, clearly torn. I reached up and grabbed her hand, holding it tightly. “Don’t leave me,” I pleaded. “Not right now.”

Dawn sighed and glanced back up at her boyfriend. I kept my gaze on her face as she softened her eyes and told him, “Not right now. Okay?”

Ryan exhaled, a slight note of frustration in the sound. He understood that I was hurting, and it wasn’t like Dawn and I were getting naked behind a locked door. But the guy would forever wonder if when push came to shove, whether his girlfriend would choose him or me. Still, he walked away. And Dawn went back to stroking my hair.

I never did get up to go get something to eat.

And Dawn never went back to her bedroom.

The clock read 7:05am when my eyes fluttered open. I didn’t need to move to see the digital readout; it was in my line of sight just past Dawn’s right ear. My arms instinctively tightened as the tingling sensation of awareness spread throughout my body, and I realized that not only was my morning wood pressed into Dawn’s panty-clad asscrack, but I was also cupping a very round, very firm breast with only a thin cotton layer between my hand and her bare skin.

Reflexively, my hand squeezed the boob and Dawn moaned lightly. My mind was a blank slate. I’d been so exhausted that I slept deeply and soundly throughout the night, a dreamless sleep that was entirely about recovery. I didn’t know where I was or why. But I knew I was holding Dawn — my Dawn — in my arms and nothing else mattered.

I continued rubbing Dawn’s breast until I heard the barely noticeable change in her breathing. I stopped rubbing just then, but Dawn began taking longer and deeper breaths, and presently she began turning her head towards me. And as the morning light shone down brilliantly on her angelic face, my stunningly beautiful soulmate lit up in a wide smile and said happily, “Mmm ... morning, Ben!”

“Hi...” I smiled happily and squeezed her a little tighter, my hand idly rubbing her breast as if it were the most natural thing in the world. I dipped my face toward hers, puckering my lips as she closed her eyes and moved in to meet me.

And then awareness seemed to hit the both of us at the same time. My eyes popped open and I jerked my hand away. Dawn’s eyes popped open and she backed away from me.

“Oh, Dawn, Dawn. I’m so sorry,” I muttered. I realized I was still buck naked beneath the blankets, my erection rubbing against her butt, that part of her asscheek uncovered by her thong panties.

“No, no. It’s okay. Not your fault,” she flustered and checked her shirt to tug it down around her waist while rolling her ass away from my cock.

“It is. It is. I’m so sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. It’s nobody’s fault,” Dawn sighed. And after futzing around with her clothes for another few seconds, my best friend nervously looked over at me as she sat up in bed, the blankets falling down around her lap.

Just then, Brandi appeared at the open doorway, a steaming mug of coffee in her hands. “Figures.” My older sister smirked. “One amazingly gorgeous blonde breaks up with you, so you drag another pretty blonde into your bedroom and fuck her brains out. And then you spend the night cuddling with a third hot blonde.”

Dawn blushed and looked down before slipping out of the bed. “I’d better go do damage control with Ryan.”

I sat up, keeping the blankets covering my lap while wrapping my arms around my legs. I nodded to my best friend. “I’m sorry about all this.”

“No, don’t be.” Dawn shook her head. “I was right where I needed to be — where I wanted to be — last night.”

I managed a smile, despite the melancholic thoughts of Adrienne that were coming back into mind. “Thanks, Dawn. Really.”

My best friend smiled and nodded. Then she headed out of the room.

Once Dawn was gone, I leaned back against the headboard and sighed. Brandi took the opportunity to enter into the room, close the door behind her, and slide onto the bed beside me, coffee mug and all. She sat on top of the covers. “How are you holding up?”

“What? With Adrienne?” I asked with my eyes still closed and my head tilted back.

Brandi nodded. Well, I think she nodded. In any case, I answered. “I dunno. I don’t think it’s sunk in yet. I don’t feel ... anything ... really.”

“Well, you’ve been keeping yourself pretty distracted since then.” Brandi chuckled.

I shrugged. “How do I look like I’m holding up?”

“Honestly?” Brandi smiled and I cracked my eyes open in time to see the typical family eyebrow arch. “You look just fine. If Matt had walked out on me in the middle of Finals Week, I’d be a sobbing mess on the floor.”

“You missed it. That was me last night.”

“Wasn’t for long from what Dawn told me. She said you picked yourself up, walked straight out the door, and then grabbed Gwen to fuck the poor girl’s brains out.”

I winced and sighed. “Yeah. I’m still not exactly sure how that all happened. I was kind of mentally checked out at the time.”

“Checked out?” Brandi snorted. “If that’s how you fuck when you’re mentally checked out, I need to find a way to put you in that state the next time I need some stress relief. Gwen sounded like she was being murdered in here ... in a very good way. Dayna and I couldn’t study worth a damn upstairs so we came down to join the party camped out in the living room to listen.”

I winced. “You guys were camped out in the living room?”

My sister nodded, a smirk on her face. But then her expression changed. “Uh, Paige wasn’t too happy about it though.”

My shoulders sagged. I’d forgotten for the moment about my other girlfriend. “She pissed at me?”

“Jealous more like it. She declared more than once, and I quote, that it was supposed to be HER job to be the sacrificial lamb at your altar of lustful vengeance.”

I smirked at the biblical undertones in the phrasing. Then, unexpectedly, the weight of Adrienne’s leaving suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks and I promptly keeled over onto my side, grimacing in obvious pain as the desire to bawl like a newborn baby overwhelmed me.

“Eep!” Brandi shrieked as I toppled toward her, just barely managing not to spill her coffee.

I was on my side in a fetal position now, my eyes wide open and staring blankly at nothing. “She’s really gone, isn’t she?”

“I don’t know,” Brandi replied honestly. “I wasn’t there.”

“She’s gone,” I stated. “I know it. I mean, she’s coming back here, obviously. All her stuff is here. But the relationship is over.”

“You don’t know that. Couples have fights and misunderstandings all the time,” Brandi said reassuringly. “I’ve seen you and Adrienne together, Ben. You two LOVE each other. That girl absolutely worships the ground you walk on and she would like nothing better than to be in your orbit for the rest of her life. She NEEDS you in her life.”

I sighed. I heard the ring of truth in what Brandi was saying, but as I stopped and thought about it, I finally realized what Adrienne had meant when she said ‘I can’t do this’. Yeah, Adrienne wanted me to be in her life, but I’d pushed her beyond what she could handle right now. The signs were all there before, but I’d ignored them and just plowed ahead with my own vision of the future. I’d promised I would never push her too far, and then I went ahead and did it anyways. And taking a deep breath, I winced and started rocking slightly on the bed, trembling as the weight of my great mistake came crashing over me.

“Ben, what is it?” My sister put her hand on my shoulder to try and calm me.

“I scared her away,” I whimpered.

“Scared her? How?”

I went dead still, eyes staring blankly at the abyss before me. And I quietly answered, “I asked her to be my wife.”

Brandi got me to explain what I meant about asking Adrienne to be my wife. I told her about all my talk of settling down and getting married and raising a family. Meanwhile, Adrienne waffled on whether she ever wanted to get married and told me how she had no intention of ever having kids. I told Brandi about Adrienne questioning her sexuality and how she’d always been more attracted to girls than guys. And I told her about the promise ring. True, I hadn’t actually asked Adrienne to marry me right then and there, but I HAD more or less asked her to start down that path with me.

With all of Adrienne’s commitment issues, the gold band sliding around her finger must have felt like a prison chain.

Brandi summed it up. “Adrienne doesn’t want to settle down with you, Ben. That girl adores you, but she’s not the settling down type. Not right now at least. She’s too ... well... unsettled.”

I sighed. I knew it. Dawn had known it last night, but since the whole thing hadn’t blown up in my face yet, she hadn’t said anything at the time. And even afterwards, Dawn was too good to me to ever say ‘I told you so’.

But now Brandi was blunt enough for the both of them. “You’re such a moron, Ben. How did you not know? When has Adrienne ever given you a signal that she wanted to settle down with you?”

“She told me she’d love me forever and always,” I ventured plaintively.

“I’ll love you forever and always. That doesn’t mean I want to settle down with you.” Brandi rolled her eyes. “She was your girlfriend. She enjoyed being your girlfriend. But it wasn’t supposed to last forever.”

“Why not?” I whimpered. I clung desperately to the fantasy of being happily ever after with Adrienne. “She promised ‘forever’.”

Brandi sighed. “Wake up, kiddo. You’re eighteen. You’re a freshman in college. What the hell do you know about ‘forever’? And haven’t you been paying attention to the way your girlfriend IS, not the way you might wish her to be?”

I just winced and ducked my head while my big sister went and pointed out all the little things Adrienne did to show me that she didn’t want that kind of permanent commitment. I just kept my eyes closed and absorbed each verbal insight like they were body blows to my mid-section.

In the end, I was exhausted. I was hungry. And my head was spinning. What if I hadn’t given Adrienne the ring? What if I’d been less needy and let her explore her relationship with Grace more freely? Was it all a waste of time anyways if Adrienne didn’t want the same things as me in the future? Was I just blind and rushing things since we’d only really been “together” for a year?

All of these things raced through my mind, so fast and so hard that I couldn’t think straight and my skull was starting to throb. And once again, I felt myself slipping away into catatonia, staring blankly as I contemplated the nature of my existence.

“Ben?” Brandi asked after a while, realizing that I was no longer responsive. My brain had become such a mess that I just ignored her and kept on thinking and thinking and thinking.

“Ben?” she asked again, this time waving her hand in front of my eyes. Still I ignored her.

But Brandi wasn’t about to passively let me retreat into my own little world. My sister huffed once in annoyance and then reached forward, physically rolling me and rolling me until I went right off the end of the bed, coming out naked from underneath the blankets and falling onto the floor in a messy heap.

“Oww!” I only woke up when I realized how much it hurt to fall without cushioning yourself.

“You’ve got a final in an hour, Ben,” Brandi glared at me. “Man up and focus.”

“I can’t...” I groaned, holding my head and feeling pain both from my Adrienne-torment AND from physically landing on the stupid lump of meat. “My mind is going around a million miles an hour. I don’t even know WHICH final I have.”

Brandi sighed and arched her eyebrow, staring at my pathetic body. I was kneeling on the floor, slumped over the edge of the bed grimacing in pain. It wasn’t that landing on the floor really hurt me; it was my agony over how I’d messed things up with Adrienne. Then without another word, my sister got up and headed for the door.

I put my head face-down into the mattress. Now even Brandi was leaving me.

[click]

Furrowing my eyebrows, I turned my head. Brandi had locked the door and returned to me, reaching down to grab underneath my armpits and help hoist me onto the bed. I was still buck naked and she turned me around, immediately taking my cock in hand. And she began to stroke me.

“Brandi! Wha—?” I hissed. The house was NOT very well soundproofed and on this weekday, the likelihood of someone who wasn’t supposed to know just how close my sister and I were might very well be outside. Hell, I was pretty sure Ryan was still in the house somewhere.

Brandi reached forward with her off-hand and put a finger to my lips, telling me to keep still and keep quiet while she glanced at the door. And with that finger still on my lips to silence me, my older sister ducked her head down and gently took my not-quite hard dick into her mouth.

My brain instantly quieted down. It’s hard to think about other things when a warm, wet mouth is surrounding your cock and doing its level best to give you as much pleasure as humanly possible. I let my head fall back across the bed as I surrendered to the bliss. And Brandi’s mouth descended further down around me, humming and sucking and licking the big vein running underneath my growing shaft.

“Ohhh ... Brandi...” I groaned softly; I dared not get any louder. Then I moved my hands to her head, guiding her up and down motions. “So good, Brandi. You’re so good, sis. Suck me. Suck me.”

It was so wrong. It was so naughty...

... It was in her mouth. Brandi had brought both hands into play, jacking me firmly while her mouth danced around the head. And mid-stroke I popped off, sending the first spurt of spunk onto my sister’s tongue which she swallowed eagerly.

“Ohhh ... Brandi...” I groaned again, feeling my head clearing with the ejaculation. I’m a sexual creature. It’s how I work. And Brandi kept milking me. With one hand, she coaxed out every drop of cum, jacking up with every blast to maximize the load that splattered against the back of her mouth. And after the first three of four bursts, she started hoovering me in desperate search for more ... and more ... and more ... until there was nothing left to give.

Smacking her lips, Brandi picked her head up and sighed with deep satisfaction. I saw her left hand was still holding my deflating prick, but she brought her right hand up from her own panties, coated in her own slimy fluids. And daintily, my sister licked her own fingers clean.

“I’ve got your sperm in my belly, little brother...” Brandi sighed, her eyes sizzling. “Isn’t that so... wrong...”

I groaned and winced. “So wrong...”

“And yet,” my older sister smiled. “So right.”

I just nodded, thinking of absolutely nothing but blissful pleasure.

“Now,” she said sternly, her big sister voice coming back to her. “Get dressed. Get something to eat. And go do your final today. Got it?”

I nodded and gave my sister a look of heartfelt love and warmth. “Thank you.”

After the head-clearing ejaculation, I managed to keep thoughts of Adrienne at bay long enough to take my final. But as the three-hour exam wore on, the harder I tried to keep her out of my mind the more she crept into it. I didn’t completely bomb the test, but I knew I could have done better.

At least this time, I had a plan. Tuesdays, Adrienne and Grace usually met up with Misty and Kim at their usual café. I usually met up with them as well, and this was one appointment I intended to keep.

I found the four girls sitting together at a booth, already halfway through their meals. I marched in, grabbed an extra chair, and plopped myself down at the end of the table to face four absolutely shocked faces.

Clearly, none of them were expecting me to just show up.

“Hi, Adrienne,” I said off-hand, but with a slight menace in my voice. “We need to talk.”

“There’s nothing to say, Ben,” Adrienne said quietly and looked away. I noticed Grace glaring at me on the other side of Adrienne, holding her girlfriend’s hand even tighter. On the opposite side of the table, Misty and Kim were merely evaluating me curiously.

“There’s a lot to say,” I started, consciously softening my voice. I wasn’t here to threaten her. “And it starts with me apologizing for pushing you too far too fast.”

“It’s not that simple,” Adrienne shook her head.

“Then explain it to me,” I pleaded. “Neither of us have a final this afternoon. Let’s go somewhere and talk.”

“Not now, Ben.”

“Then when?”

“Please don’t push me more, Ben.” Adrienne was on the verge of tears.

I sighed and physically backed away. I hadn’t realized I’d been leaning forward, looming over her. “The last thing I want to do is push you, Adrienne.”

“Then don’t.” For the first time, she raised her eyes to mine. “Just let it be.”

I felt like we’d had this conversation before, back when Adrienne just wanted to be “nottogether”. I exhaled slowly, looking down before stating, “You HAVE to come home eventually. All your stuff is in our room.”

She blinked and took a deep breath. “Of course. But not right now.” Adrienne’s hands suddenly shot out to mine, grabbing the tops of them and holding on firmly. “Please, Ben. Just give me until the end of finals. This is what I need to do to focus on my exams. I can’t try to work out the details of our relationship and study at the same time, alright? But come Friday, we’ll talk. I promise. I’ll be home when you get back from your last final. Please ... can you wait for me?”

I sighed, slowly turning my hands over so that I could meet Adrienne palm to palm. But she pulled her hands away from mine before I could grab her. For a few seconds, I just stared at my empty hands, feeling absolutely and completely heartbroken. I wanted answers. I wanted resolution. Maybe Adrienne could suppress her feelings and keep them locked away long enough to finish her finals, but I wasn’t sure I could do the same.

But I would. I would have to. For her. I still loved her. And she hadn’t officially come out and said we were broken up ... yet.

“Okay,” I sighed. “I’ll wait for you. Friday. I’ll leave you alone until then.”

“Thank you, Ben,” Adrienne said softly. And then she stood. Grace stood up with her, and with only a head nod to their friends, the pair of them walked out of the café.

I left my elbows on the table and raised my palms up just in time to meet my face as I hunched over, fighting the urge to start crying anew. How the hell was I going to last three more days without some sort of closure?

“You never should have let her date Grace,” Misty remarked.

I peeked my eyes out, a confused expression on my face.

“Don’t get me wrong,” Misty continued. “Grace is my roommate and my friend. I like to see her happy. But you were playing with fire when you agreed to let your girlfriend regularly date someone else, another girl or not.”

I sighed. “That wasn’t the problem.”

“Oh? Adrienne’s practically LIVED in our room for the past few months,” Misty went on. “It’d bother me if I wasn’t spending all MY time at my boyfriend’s.”

I shrugged. “The time away wasn’t our problem. Nor was the sharing. Adrienne and I had a very unique relationship.”

“I’ll say...” Kim mused.

I arched an eyebrow at the pretty Japanese-American girl, but she just blushed and shook her head. “So if it wasn’t the time apart, what broke you guys up?” she went on to ask. “Grace and Adrienne didn’t tell us the details.”

I sighed and said it again, still not quite believing it. “I gave her a promise ring.”

“Ohhh...” Both girls nodded in understanding. And then Misty added, “Uh, didn’t you KNOW Adrienne didn’t want to settle down?”

Jeez, did EVERYONE know but me? I buried my face in my palms again, moaning in agony.

Kim just reached over and patted my back. “Apparently he didn’t.”

Since I didn’t have a Tuesday afternoon final, I wandered around the campus for about an hour, just walking to nowhere and letting my mind spin and spin and spin. Like a piece of debris adrift on the ocean currents, I simply went wherever fate took me.

A part of me hoped fate would take me in front of a bus.

But no bus came, and none would come unless I got myself off the middle of campus and over to one of the streets. Even then, I didn’t trust myself not to ignore Adrienne’s Friday edict and run to find her, to plead with her to take me back. So I just kept walking.

Eventually, I just got so exhausted that I had no choice but to head home before I collapsed on some random sidewalk.

When I got home, I found that the room I’d shared with Adrienne all year had changed quite a bit in my absence. Books were gone, clothes, and most of Adrienne’s makeup kit. I nearly sank to the floor when I realized that she’d come home at last, only to leave again before I returned.

Dawn appeared in the doorway behind me. “She and Grace came to pick up her stuff. Adrienne said she’d be back on Friday to pack up.”

Without turning to face my best friend, I simply nodded. She walked up and put her hand on my shoulder, clearly asking without words if I wanted some company. I reached up and patted her hand, then stepped forward into the room. Dawn took the hint and left me alone, closing the door behind me.

And then I did what I always did in situations like this. I made sure all the curtains were shut, plunging the room into semi-darkness. Then I moved to the bed and sat down, simmering under my own personal dark cloud, determined to radiate ‘get-the-fuck-away-from-me’ signals to anyone who dared intrude on my melancholy.

Paige didn’t get the memo.

I’d been sitting there in the dark for about an hour when the door opened again. Half of me expected to see Brooke standing in the doorway, wearing nothing but a towel. And for a brief moment I thought I did see my little sister.

But then the face coalesced into Paige’s elfin features, the hair a shade of auburn instead of a deep, dark brown. And this girl didn’t bother approaching me slowly or waving her hands in front of my unblinking eyes. The little redheaded hurricane more or less tackled me and pushed and shoved until I was flat on my back and she was sitting astride my chest. “What the FUCK is wrong with you?”

This was not my day for contemplation. First Brandi rolled me off the freakin’ bed; and now this. Maybe I should have stayed out on the sidewalks.

“I’m supposed to be your girlfriend, remember?” Paige whined plaintively. “You’re supposed to TALK to me when something’s bothering you. And if you don’t want to TALK, I’M the one you’re supposed to bend over and fuck until you get it out of your system. Got it?”

I just blinked rapidly, still a little in shock by the petite girl sitting on my chest and glaring at me from inches away.

“So what’s it gonna be?” Paige narrowed her eyes at me. “Talk or fuck?”

A surge of annoyance and pain raced through my veins. I rolled my eyes and then suddenly gripped Paige’s arms almost too tightly in my hands. And then I sat up and violently flipped us over, lifting up the petite girl’s light weight before slamming her down onto her back.

“Goody!” my pixie giggled breathlessly. “I was hoping you’d pick ‘fuck’. Goddamn I got so horny listening to you last night!”

I didn’t answer coherently. I just growled and ripped her schoolgirl blouse open.

“Holy fuck! Holy shit! Mary, Mother of God, FUCK!” Paige squealed as she felt my cock unexpectedly burrowing up her asshole.

She was still wearing her entire schoolgirl outfit, minus the panties. Those I’d ripped to shreds in my urgency to get them off her; and the pieces were jagged rags on the floor somewhere. The back of her plaid skirt was folded up and tucked into her waistband to keep it out of the way, baring the young girl’s creamy white ass. I’d been pounding her doggy-style. And at the last moment before my climax, I’d pulled out, jizzed straight onto her winking anus, and then used my own cum to push through Paige’s now-lubricated sphincter to embed myself inside her anal chute.

The last two or three little pulses of cum squirted out of me and into my little girlfriend’s rectum. Moaning and groaning, I pumped two or three more times, feeding Paige’s tight asshole the full length of my cock as the last sensations of physical ecstasy passed through me. And then as the last of my energy drained away, I collapsed flat on her back, sending us both sprawling on top of the mattress.

Still working to please me, Paige clenched her anal muscles around me to revive my cock. But even her tight ass couldn’t put raw energy back into my body and in the end I simply flopped over in exhaustion.

I couldn’t go on. But even though the sex was over, Paige wasn’t done trying to make me happy. She fetched some baby wipes and cleaned us both up before falling back into my arms. Showering my face with perky little kisses, she looked on me with motherly concern and asked me to tell her about how I felt. And then I finally told my other girlfriend the story of what went on with my first girlfriend.

It didn’t take very long. After all, I’d already gotten the weight off my chest talking with Brandi. But there was still a lot of pain in my voice as I rehashed all my mistakes.

Too wrapped up in my narrative, I never noticed Paige’s mood darkening as I told her my story. Over the course of a few minutes, she went from lovingly concerned to nervously worried. “You were really that serious about Adrienne? You wanted to settle down and get married and have kids and all that?” Paige asked quietly.

I sighed and nodded. “Someday. Even now, I want to find her and plead with her to take me back.” It wasn’t a secret. After all, I’d been talking with Dawn and Brandi about the same thing.

But then neither of those girls was my other girlfriend. And Paige sounded hurt as she asked, “You were never that serious about ME, were you?”

I furrowed my eyebrows and looked down at the pretty girl, who’d rolled her own dark blue eyes up to meet my gaze. “Uh...”

“I love you, Ben. You know that, right?” There was no doubting the emotion in Paige’s voice. “I really, really am in love with you.”

I nodded, stroking her hair.

She took a deep breath and then quietly asked, “But you don’t love me, do you?”

I glanced down at her. “Paige, we’ve been through this. I care about you. You know I do.”

“But you don’t love me like you do Adrienne.”

I blinked. “Were you expecting me to?”

Paige sighed, pouting. “Well ... I hoped ... Maybe ... Y’know, it’s been a few months now. We’ve been spending a lot of time together and I thought ... y’know ... feelings would ... develop...”

I sighed. “Paige, I will always care about you. But I told you I didn’t have those feelings. That’s why I said way back in the beginning that we shouldn’t be together; because it wouldn’t be fair to you.”

“I thought I could change your mind,” Paige whimpered pitifully.

I didn’t answer right away. I just kept stroking her hair. And then taking a slow, deep breath, I exhaled and said, “I’m sorry, Red.”

My petite little girlfriend snuggled closer in to me, burying her face against my chest. She whimpered a few more times, grabbing at my chest and then gripping my arm before turning her face up to look at me. There was no mistaking the sorrow in her deep blue eyes. “Adrienne leaving you doesn’t change things, does it?”

“What do you mean?”

Paige blinked rapidly. “I was hoping that with her gone, you’d have more for me. I was hoping that if she wasn’t taking up your time, your attention ... your love ... then you could give me more.”

“Oh, Paige...” I sighed, stroking her hair again. “It doesn’t work that way.”

“Why not?” Paige pouted.

I sighed. “You’ll learn ... little one.” I brushed her bangs back from her forehead. “Feelings just don’t work like that.”

The pretty girl then scrunched her face up, looking angry and upset. “’Feelings don’t work like that’?” she hissed.

“Paige...” I began.

“‘Feelings don’t WORK like that’?” she repeated in a clearly annoyed voice.

“Paige...” I pleaded.

“Nuh-uh,” she cut me off. Quickly, the half-dressed girl pushed herself upright and wrapped the sheets around her body to cover herself, as if she was suddenly ashamed to let me see her nakedness. And then she tugged down her bra and shirt, fixing the schoolgirl outfit we’d shoved to the sides in our lovemaking, before darting off the bed to find what remained of her panties.

“Paige...”

“Forget it, Ben,” she spat at me.

“Paige, please.”

“No! I think I’ve wasted enough time on you, don’t you think?” Her voice was a world of hurt. “I gave you everything! I gave you my virginity! And you can’t even muster up enough of yourself to love me?”

“I do love you!”

“Like a little sister, right, you incestuous bastard? Not the way I want! Not the way I need! But I’m just not good enough for you, am I? Not good enough to be a girlfriend you actually LOVE! Noooo, only Adrienne — with her big tits and gorgeous face and perfect body — was good enough for you!”

“I can’t help the way I feel,” I pleaded. “I care about you. You KNOW I do.”

“Goodbye, Ben.”

“Paige—”

“NO.” Paige’s voice was deeper and more intense than I’d ever heard it before. “I hate you. We’re done. Now you have ZERO girlfriends left.” With that, the angry redhead stomped over to the door and flung it open. And without a backwards glance she stormed out the front door as well.

Ah, hell.

I was sitting up in bed by now, rubbing my forehead vigorously as if I could physically yank out all the bad emotions and fucked up situations from my brain. I felt a surge of adrenaline pushing through me, setting my limbs on fire as the frustration built inside me. Why was this happening? Did Paige really just dump me a day after Adrienne walked out on me? How did my life get sooo fucked up?

The longer I rubbed my forehead, the more my forehead began to hurt from the skin getting friction burn. FUCK! Why the FUCK was this happening? I couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t handle it. It was all just TOO FUCKING MUCH.

Adrienne doesn’t want to BE with me anymore. She loves me but she can’t be tied down. And FUCK! My fucking GIRLFRIEND turned out to be a LESBIAN. She fucking picked GRACE over ME! FUCK! I stopped rubbing my forehead and switched to clenching the sheets in my hands, squeezing tighter and tighter as if I could compress the fabric into diamonds.

And Paige! I never wanted to START a fucking relationship with her. I always cared about her, but I KNEW I didn’t have those kind of feelings for her. I’d TOLD her as much. But NO ... SHE said ‘I’ll take whatever I can get’. SHE said she’d accept however much I could give her, and wouldn’t expect any more from me. But NO. She DID expect more. She DID want more. And when I couldn’t give it to her, SHE fucking dumped ME! How fucked up is THAT? Why the FUCK was this HAPPENING?

ARRRGHHH!!!

A quiet knock sounded off by the open door. I jerked my head up, my hands gripping at my own forearms while I did my best to give myself an Indian Burn. And I saw Gwen standing in the doorway, her mane of dirty blonde hair hanging beautifully over her shoulders, her dark eyeshadow and mascara making her look dangerously alluring.

“Hi, Ben,” Gwen said rather nervously. “We need to talk.”

Talk?

Or Fuck?

Mechanically, I got off the bed and strode directly for her. Her eyes went wide as she looked down at my naked body, since I hadn’t re-dressed after fucking Paige. And her eyes went even wider as she realized I had an erection.

Gwen only had time to squeak before I roughly grabbed the back of her neck with my left hand and gripped a breast with my right. I spun her into my bedroom, mashing my lips against hers and kicking the door shut at the same time. My tongue darted into her mouth as I bent her backwards and my right hand slid beneath the waistband of her jeans and into her panties, where a finger wormed its way inside her rapidly moistening pussy.

When we got to my bed, I dropped Gwen flat on her back where the dirty blonde babe simply gasped and looked at me with abject fear in her eyes. And as I climbed onto the bed to loom on all fours above her supine body, all she could whimper was, “Oh, God. Not again!”

I didn’t give Gwen the option of saying ‘no’ or saying ‘stop’ this time; I just used her. And I didn’t bother keeping her at the razor’s edge of unconsciousness for a protracted amount of time before sending her over. This time, I just fucked her brains out.

Fifteen minutes after she showed up in my doorway, Gwen was a limp puddle of orgasmic goo. She was unconscious and lying on her right shoulder, the right arm extended straight out and the left arm flung behind her head. Her ass was flat on the bed with her legs spread to the sides and bent like a dead frog’s. And her still spasming pussy was leaking creamy white semen, creating a wet spot that slowly crept outward as the sheets absorbed our mingled sexual fluids.

I, on the other hand, sat up at the edge of the mattress, my heels perched on the bed frame while I held my head in my hands.

A knock sounded at the door and I called, “Who is it?”

My best friend replied. “It’s Dawn.”

I sighed and hung my head down while replying, “Come in.”

Dawn didn’t care that I was still buck naked. I think my thigh blocked the view of my genitals anyways. But her sharp eyes did lock in on Gwen’s lifeless body. She arched an eyebrow at me and stated, “You did it again.”

I sighed and said, “Paige dumped me,” as if that would explain everything.

“Ah.” Dawn popped both eyebrows, nodding in understanding. Then she held up a silver Samsung cell phone. “Well, I just wanted to tell Gwen that her boyfriend called. But I guess he’ll have to wait for her to wake up.”

I grimaced and put my forehead in my palm again.

Dawn just turned to leave. “Dinner will be ready soon,” she said, and then she pulled the door shut behind her.

I got myself dressed and located my books. Once again, a powerful ejaculation had cleared my brain enough to let me focus on my upcoming finals. Gwen stirred awake a minute later and I paused to help her get back into her clothing. Neither of us spoke about what we’d just done.

When we emerged, everyone in the living room turned to look at us. Afternoon finals were over and our regular guests had returned to the house. Dawn and Ryan sat together on one couch. Bert was at the other end of the same couch, with Robin sitting on the floor at his feet, hunched over the coffee table. And it wasn’t just my crew, either. Dayna was sitting with Kevin Weiss on the opposite couch. Kerri Trainor, Monique St. Claire, and Matt Kanemura were sitting at the dining table. Tracy McMillan and Julie Carpenter were in the kitchen with Brandi.

“Sounded like fun.” Kerri was the first one to speak, dropping her elbow onto the table, resting her chin in her palm while she smiled dreamily in my direction, her green eyes simmering.

“Oui, oui,” Monique chimed in. “When’s my turn?”

Gwen blushed beet red and looked ready to bolt. But Robin quickly got up and went to her friend. Together, the two of them fled into Dawn’s bedroom.

I frowned, feeling bad for Gwen. And I glared at Kerri. “Nice,” I grumped.

Dayna snorted and rolled her eyes at me. “Your fault.”

I sighed and just waved my book. “Can I just study? Please? Or do I have to go back into my room?”

“Back to your room,” Kerri remarked, nibbling on one end of her pen while grinning at me. “But can I come with you?”

Brandi came to the rescue. My sister popped through the kitchen doorway and said, “Tease him later, girls. Let’s eat.”

I did have a girl in my bedroom that evening, but not for sex. Not this time, at least. After dinner, Gwen and I went back into my bedroom, and fully clothed I sat down on the bed while she sat on the daybed. “Ben, this time we really need to talk.”

I nodded. “I’m sorry about before. Well, I’m sorry about yesterday, too. I...” I sighed. “I’m not really sure where my head is at right now. You managed to catch me at two really bad times.”

Gwen nodded. “Dawn told me about Adrienne and Paige. I’m sorry.”

I shook my head. “Doesn’t excuse what I did.”

Gwen exhaled slowly, bending her head down. She blinked rapidly before picking her head up and giving me an intense look. “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy it, though. I’d begun to wonder if I over-hyped that one time we fucked way back when. I spent all year thinking about those orgasms, Ben, imagining up situations where I could feel them again. I can’t help it, you’re ... you’re a machine.”

I raised my eyebrows.

“The way you just... TOOK me...” Gwen shivered visibly. “I tingle just thinking about it again.”

I bit my lower lip nervously, not sure where this conversation was going. Gwen just leaned back with her hands planted on the mattress behind her. She’d turned her head away, the mass of waves and dirty-blonde tresses spilling over her shoulder. And her eyes were unfocused as she lost herself to memory. And a little smile tugged at the corners of her lips.

The absolute LAST thing I needed right now was another girl getting attached to me when I didn’t have strong feelings for her. “Gwen...” I began slowly. “I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. What I did... to you ... was impulsive. I, uh, it...” I sighed. “It was just about sex. Nothing more.”

Gwen turned her face back to me and smirked. She gave me a funny, but amused look. “Don’t worry; I’m not falling in love with you or anything. You’re a fantastic lover, Ben. But I don’t have the slightest romantic intentions toward you.”

I exhaled and smiled in relief. But Gwen turned and put her face in her palm. “Still, you’ve ruined me, Ben.”

“What?”

She shook her head. “I can’t go back to Rick, now. He just can’t measure up. Not after you destroyed me two nights in a row.”

“Gwen, I’m sorry. I—”

“Don’t worry about it,” Gwen waved. “I wanted it. I already knew I’d let you fuck me if you ever wanted to, Rick or not. You’re off the hook.”

“No, I’m not. You’re in a relationship and I just—”

“I was breaking up with him anyways,” Gwen interrupted me and shook her head. “I’m not good with long-term relationships and six months has been long enough. I don’t love him. It was fun while it lasted, but we’re in a rut and I’m not interested enough to fight for it. I was already thinking of new horizons, and what you and I did just clinched it.” She shivered and looked right at me. “And I would fuck you again in a heartbeat. Or should I say, I’d let you fuck me.”

I winced in worry. Even if Gwen wasn’t falling in love with me, I wasn’t looking for any sort of regular expectations, either. “Uh, well, those were two very unique situations. I, uh, I don’t really know how I would feel about—”

“What?” she cut me off, smiling at me wryly. “I’m not fuckable unless you’re all emotionally messed up?”

“It’s not that. We got to being friends and—”

“ReLAX,” Gwen held her hand up. “This is really why I thought we needed to talk. Look, I know that if you hadn’t been seriously messed up from Adrienne, and then Paige, you never would have slept with me. It’s cool.”

I arched an eyebrow in surprise.

“We’ll never be more than friends, Ben. And personally, I don’t think we’ll ever even be close friends. We just don’t mesh like that.”

I shrugged. Made sense.

“So I’m willing to accept things for what they were. You were distraught, you needed a fuck, and I was there. It’s good enough for me.” A sly smile crossed Gwen’s face.

My eyebrow arched again.

“And if you ever need me again?” Gwen’s smile turned into a predatory grin as she sat up straight and leaned forward, thrusting her cleavage forward. And her voice dropped to a seductive purr. “Don’t tell me. Don’t even say a word. Just... take me...”

My eyes popped open.

Her grin turned into a smirk. “But, uh, next time? Maybe not with twenty people outside in the living room. I’m a total slut for you, but exhibition’s not really my thing.”

And with that, Gwen got up off the daybed. She crossed over to me, leaning forward and taking hold of my head while I just stared in amazement into her light brown eyes, piercingly bright amidst the heavy eyeliner. She turned her head and planted a fierce kiss on me, delving her tongue around the inside of my mouth

But almost as fast as she started, Gwen pulled back and then almost tenderly kissed my cheek. “See ya around, stud.” She smiled again, flashing a row of pearly white teeth. And then she left.

My life was getting crazier and crazier.

I’d gone to sleep early last night. Dealing with thoughts of Adrienne, my morning final, and Paige dumping me had exhausted me. Gwen’s reaction to my, ah, “taking” of her (twice) had been a momentary bright spot. But my pathetic attempts at studying for a Wednesday final wiped me out the rest of the way.

For the first time in a long time, I’d slept completely alone.

I didn’t sleep very well.

There was no warm body to snuggle up to. No firm breast to cup in my palm. No tight ass to grind my erection into. And several times in the middle of the night I awoke to find myself dry humping the mattress while face down and drooling. It wasn’t pretty.

I missed Adrienne. I missed her terribly. I loved her. I was IN love with her. And I wanted her back. I missed the smell of her hair as I spooned up behind her. I missed the warmth and feel of her body nestled in my arms. I missed the feeling of absolute contentment knowing that she loved me always and forever the way I loved her.

Only she didn’t anymore...

So I slept fitfully, tossing and turning and waking and zonking out repeatedly every so often. I’d never set my alarm. I wouldn’t have needed to. I woke up every half-hour as it was. And so I was a semi-conscious zombie when the door opened up and a blonde head poked inside.

“Hey, sleepyhead.” Dayna beamed at me as she entered in and closed the door behind her. The blonde bombshell was clad in a long pajama shirt that dropped like a cliff off her prodigious bosoms and fell down to mid-thigh. She happily moved to my bed and slid herself beneath the covers, scooting alongside and then pushing me over while she moved herself into the warm spot. “How’d you sleep?”

I winced. “Not well.” I still felt bone-tired, every muscle in my body tense and yet weak at the same time. And my head still hurt. Thoughts of Adrienne and Paige had been fluttering through my brain for the past few hours, preventing me from sleeping soundly. And yet I wasn’t awake to really process the random thoughts, either.

“Aww, you look terrible.” The beautiful babe frowned at me.

Thick-headed, I frowned at her and asked, “What are you doing here?”

“Getting you ready for your final,” Dayna giggled. She scooted right up next to my body, pressing her tits against me while her hand snaked down my side, over my hip, and began rubbing over the bulge in my shorts. “Brandi said you’d probably need a good flushing in order to focus.”

“Huh?”

I’d already been hard with morning wood. Dayna rubbed me lightly from outside before sliding her hand into my shorts and wrapping her fingers around my shaft. She hummed playfully as she began stroking my length, and then turned her crystal blue eyes up to my gaze. “Clear the pipes; clear the mind,” she intoned before giggling again. And then she physically rolled me onto my back, pulled the covers away, and yanked my shorts down to my knees.

“Just relax, Ben.” Dayna flashed me a brilliant smile as she moved her face over my erection, her hot breath tickling my sensitive cockhead. “I’ll want a good fucking before we’re done. But for now, let me do all the work.”

I opened my bedroom door and came to a dead stop in surprise. After the quickie with Dayna upon waking, my Wednesday had been fairly normal. I took my morning final. I met up with Dawn, Gwen, Robin, and Bert for lunch. And then I returned home to attempt studying without dwelling on the dual losses of Adrienne and Paige.

In that, I failed. It seemed that unless I was in the middle of a final that demanded all of my focus, or preoccupied by sexual pleasure with a beautiful girl, my thoughts constantly strayed to my romantic failures. I wondered how Adrienne was doing with her own finals and dealing with her own emotional demons after breaking up with me. Once again, I even briefly contemplated tracking her down before her Friday deadline to try and talk her into taking me back. I thought of Paige, and how she had deserved more from me. Maybe I couldn’t fake those kinds of feelings for her, but I could have treated her better. And perhaps selfishly, I hoped that either Brandi or Dayna was waiting for me in my bedroom to once again clear my head with blissful orgasms.

I hoped; but I wasn’t expecting. So it was still a surprise to find a hot girl in my bed. And I was even more surprised by who it was.

“Venez à moi, mon ami...” Monique purred, crooking a finger at me. The statuesque French babe reclined back against my pillows, clad in an eye-popping set of lingerie. Her curly bottle-blonde hair fell to her shoulders over a strapless red bustier that did much to lift and present her massive double-D tits for my viewing pleasure. Red garters and stockings covered her long legs, ending in fuck-me red heels. Humming, she slid two fingers into the matching lace panties, which were transparent enough to let me see the dark pubic hairs of her trimmed bush.

“Uh, Monique?” I arched an eyebrow in question while my eyeballs ogled her body. While the French babe had a completely different facial structure from Adrienne, her 5’10” height and stacked body were just similar enough to remind me of my lost lover. “What are you doing here?”

“Zhat should be obvious, no?” the older girl replied sweetly in her cute accent. She sat up and knelt on top of the mattress, hunching forward to push her cleavage out. “I have just finished a weary exam and I feel very stressed. You are very stressed. We can find ways to relax each other, I think.”

“Monique...” I began slowly, thinking that there had to be some reason why we weren’t supposed to do this. But all I could come up with was, “Does Brandi know you’re here?”

The beautiful, busty babe nodded. “Your sister and Dayna lifted zee ban on you.” I swore her accent was even thicker than usual. “You are now free game; I just got here before zee others.”

My eyebrows shot up at the notion that my two older roommates had previously declared me off-limits, but had now given their friends permission to seduce me. “Really?”

Monique nodded. “Besides, I think you know that we are already lovers. I wasn’t trying to hide my identity during Dayna’s party last semester. And after you fucked me so well zhen, I knew you would be exzactly what I need right now. We’re exzactly what we need right now. Nothing serious. Just some fun. Okay?”

I stepped to the bed, sighing with some relief. Fucking Monique wouldn’t make my problems with Adrienne or Paige go away; but it would keep me from having to dwell on them for a little while. And it would keep me from going crazy and running away to find Adrienne. So I started removing my shirt while Monique crawled forward, her hands going to my jeans.

“How much time do we have?” I asked, my eyebrows raised.

Monique grinned. “Until dinnertime. Zhen Tracy wants to spend the night.”

I sat up at the edge of the mattress, my heels perched on the bed frame while I held my head in my hands. Monique’s body had been a lush wonderland of pleasure, and she certainly knew how to use it. But just like the one and only time we’d previously fucked, she went dead limp beneath me, her head turning to the side and her eyes dropping closed.

So I’d pulled out of her and then covered her with the blanket, leaving the gorgeous French babe to sleep off her orgasm while I stared at the ceiling. Fucking her had been quite pleasantly diverting and my own ejaculation had done a satisfactory job of clearing my head. But after a while with no conscious girl to continue distracting me, thoughts of my broken relationships crept back into my head. And as the pressure built and built in my mind, I found that I just HAD to sit up and hold my head.

It was actually a relief when the knock sounded at the door. I called out, “Who is it?”

“It’s Dawn.”

Feeling an odd sense of déjà vu, I furrowed my eyebrows and said, “Come in.”

Dawn still didn’t care that I was still buck naked. But her sharp eyes went to Monique’s lifeless body. My best friend arched an eyebrow at me and stated, “What’s this with girls passing out on you?”

I shrugged. “Don’t ask me.”

Dawn arched her eyebrow and then turned to leave. “Dinner will be ready soon,” she said. And just before she pulled the door shut behind her, she raised her eyebrows and said, “Just a warning: Paige is here.”

For a few seconds, I contemplated just dressing and walking out to talk to Paige. I was half-afraid of seeing her and half-afraid she would leave before I had a chance to talk to her. But the chivalrous part of me didn’t want to just abandon my lover, even if she was only temporary.

So I bent down and gently stirred Monique awake. She’d curled onto her side and as her eyes fluttered open, she instinctively tugged the blanket up to cover her big, naked breasts. “Hmm? Ben?” she asked in a daze.

“Yeah,” I nodded. “It’s almost dinnertime.”

“Oh, right.” Monique blinked as she remembered what we’d been doing earlier. She exhaled and remarked, “I’ve only passed out three times from sex. Two of them were with you.”

I smirked and stroked her cheek before she sat up, now unconcerned with her nudity as she hunted around for her clothes. I also got dressed and in the end, the statuesque beauty pulled me to her for a quick French kiss. “Mmm ... If you’re not too busy next year, we will have to do this again. I will find out if you can do that to me three times out of three. And besides, Dayna always bragged about how good it felt when you fucked her ass. I certainly am going to want to try that at least once.”

I smiled and patted her cheek. And then we exited the bedroom.

As now expected, the combined crews of both Dayna’s and Brandi’s friends, as well as mine and Dawn’s, were scattered around the living room. Dinner was salad and home-cooked spaghetti, both easily made in large vats for big groups.

Tracy McMillan, seated at the dining table, winked at me as I entered into the room. Only then did I remember Monique informing me that the graduating Senior had wanted to spend the night. But almost as soon as she winked, Tracy blushed and darted her eyes over to the petite redhead who was sitting with Dawn and Gwen on the couch.

Paige herself turned to look at me. Her cool blue eyes darted behind me to Monique, who still looked rather disheveled and in fact was heading over to the bathroom to fix herself up. And then my redheaded ex-girlfriend returned her gaze to me.

Not yet sure whether I was supposed to sit down and talk privately with Paige or just go about my business as if everything was normal, I first went into the kitchen to get myself some food. I came out with my plate and after a little non-verbal communication with Dawn, I did as I was told and went to the dining table to sit between Tracy and Brandi. I then spent the next half-hour chatting somewhat awkwardly with the people around the table while wolfing down my food. Fucking takes a lot of energy — at least the way I do it — and I definitely needed to recharge my batteries.

But after I bussed my plate, I returned back into the living room to find Paige heading for my bedroom. Just as she got to the doorway leaving the living room, the petite girl turned and gave me a pointed look, and I obediently went to follow her.

I found Paige sitting cross-legged on my bed. Her hair was in a functional ponytail, nothing cute or sexy, just efficient. She was wearing jeans and a casual top, an outfit I’d come to understand as non-sexual from the often flirtatious little pixie. As the academic year had progressed, she’d been wearing the Catholic schoolgirl outfits less and less, only bringing them out for the times she deliberately wanted to titillate me into bringing her home and fucking her senseless.

This, therefore, was not one of those times. Paige was in “adult-mode”, or at least as adult as a 5’2” 19-year-old-girl could be. And I cautiously went to sit on the daybed across from her. “Hey,” I ventured, just trying to break the ice.

“Hey.” Paige took a deep breath. As hard as it was to believe, she’d only dumped me yesterday afternoon, little more than 24 hours ago. Only a day before that, Adrienne had walked away from me. And the day before that was Adrienne’s and my ill-fated one-year anniversary. Not even four days were done yet, and it already felt like the longest week of my life.

“I’m sorry, Paige,” I began softly. I wasn’t entirely sure what I was apologizing for right now, but it seemed like the right thing to do.

Paige shook her head. “No, I’m sorry. This is all my fault. I knew how you felt about me. More to the point, I knew how you didn’t feel about me. And I needed to come back and apologize to you.”

I arched an eyebrow. After Paige’s tantrum yesterday, I wasn’t expecting a grown-up reaction from her so soon. “Really?”

She nodded. “I still want to be your friend, Ben.”

I was still surprised by her maturity. She’d been a sheltered, young girl who’d rather recklessly been throwing herself at me for the entire year. Thoughtfulness and maturity were not qualities I was expecting from her. “So you don’t hate me?”

Paige chuckled. “I could never hate you, Ben. I feel hurt that you don’t love me the way I want, but that’s my own fault. I never should have pressured you into a relationship.”

I sighed. “Then why did you?”

She smiled wanly. “A girl could have hopes, right? It all seemed so perfect: You were my rescuing White Knight. You’re the man who took my virginity. Wouldn’t it be great if you came to me for comfort after Adrienne left, and we fell in love and moved in together and got married and had a family and...” She sighed. “I think I blinded myself with thoughts of Happily Ever After. Isn’t that what happens in all the Disney movies?”

“Life is never that simple,” I groaned, shaking my head. “And if anyone knows ‘complicated’, it’s me.”

“I know. Life just seemed so much simpler in High School,” Paige sighed. And for a few moments, we both sat there, staring away and contemplating that last sentence. My life in High School had felt pretty damn complicated. Was College going to be even worse?

But I couldn’t ponder the future for very long; I still had too many things on my plate in the present. And wanting to get some closure on one of them, I moved beside Paige on the bed and reached out to hold her hand. “So what now, Red? What do you want from me?”

The cute girl looked almost bashfully up at me, squeezing my hand as she asked, “Can ... Do you think we can still be friends?”

“Of course.” I smiled warmly, reassuringly. “But are you sure that’s all you want?”

Paige sighed. “It’s definitely not all I want. I’m still in love with you. You’re my hero.”

I winced but Paige squeezed my hand tighter and moved her other hand on top of it. “But I know that’s not how you feel about me,” she said to our enjoined hands. “Not now at least.”

I tightened up at that last bit, and Paige looked up at me, grimacing. “I shouldn’t have said that second part.”

I shrugged. Was Paige just going to pretend to be my friend and secretly work to make me fall in love with her? I wouldn’t put it past her. After all, she’d managed to be pretty infatuated with me for the past year as it was.

“Really, I mean it: just friends,” Paige exhaled. “I need to learn to move on. I’m ... I’m not exactly used to this. I don’t have much experience with break-ups. Actually, I don’t have any experience with break-ups. I never had a boyfriend before. But I do know that I still like being with you and being around our, uh, ‘crew’, as you put it. Maybe it’s not right for us to be boyfriend/girlfriend, but I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”

Now she looked like a scared little girl. She’d never been in this situation before, and even if she had the maturity to recognize that she shouldn’t have pressured me into dating her, that didn’t mean she had the experience to deal with the fallout. So it was up to me to reassure her.

“That’s okay, Red,” I patted her hand. “We’ll make it work. We’re too good friends, and we’ve been too close, to let this get between us, right?”

She brightened for the first time. “Right.”

We looked into each other’s eyes for a few moments, recognizing the deep affection we had for one another. I DID love her, maybe not romantically, but it was still there. And after taking a few deep breaths, Paige managed to smile. So I leaned in and tenderly kissed her on the cheek.

She moaned softly and turned her nose into my cheek, inhaling my scent. And I heard a trace of her old lust in that moan. Tensing up, I slowly pulled back.

Paige was staring at me with those big, dark blue eyes, biting her lip nervously. She quivered slightly and sighed, “You still make me horny. I’m going to have to learn to deal with that.”

The image of my pixie bent over in her Catholic schoolgirl uniform came to me, her skirt flipped up to reveal a perfect, perky little ass. I breathed with fresh arousal and murmured, “Well you know me and the girls in this house. People don’t have to be in romantic relationships to have a little fun sometimes.”

Paige’s eyes brightened and she giggled. “Oh, yeah.” For a second, it looked like she was about to jump me.

But I held my hand up. “We shouldn’t just yet. You need to take some time to figure out your feelings for me, Red.”

Paige whimpered, but she exhaled and backed off, nodding. “You’re right. You’re right.” But then her eyes twinkled. “But there’s always next year.”

Getting some closure with Paige quieted the turmoil in my mind. Yeah, there was still lingering sexual tension between me and my petite, redheaded pixie, but that had been there from the beginning. And so I found myself able to get in some good quality studying...

... but not that much. I only had one more final left, and it was to be on Friday afternoon. That meant I had a free day tomorrow and besides, there was a beautiful and athletic girl who wanted to screw me silly all night long.

As a graduating Senior, Tracy McMillan had completed her last final this afternoon. The sandy blonde-haired babe had wasted little time distracting me away from my books and tempting me into my bedroom with little regard for the crowd of friends who were just outside in the living room.

“So Dayna told me you didn’t sleep very well last night,” Tracy hummed, her lips scant millimeters away from mine. I could feel the heat of her minty breath on my face.

I shook my head, playing along. “I’m not used to sleeping alone.” I mock-frowned as if deeply troubled by this fact.

“Aww, poor baby.” The well-built workout junkie ran her hands against my chest and started pushing me back toward my own bed. “Would you like me to keep you company tonight?”

I smiled. “But how will I ever keep you entertained?”

“Oh, I’m sure I’ll think of something,” Tracy giggled and then literally shoved me down and flat on my back before ripping her clothes off. She’d been wearing a black sports bra with a navy blue tank top over it, clinging quite tightly to her slender frame. Black workout pants were capri cut just below her knees and similarly showed off the slenderness of her legs. I knew that if she’d been wearing that outfit at the gym, quite a few male eyes would have been following her every move.

But right now, I was the only set of male eyes that got to look upon her. And soon there was much more to see. The tank top flew away and then the sports bra, exposing her very firm D-cups capped with the large pink nipples that had been poking through the lycra material all evening. And then she shoved her pants and thong panties to the ground before climbing right on top of me.

“Hey, stud,” Tracy grinned at me as she undid the scrunchy holding together her ponytail. The motion of her arms made her tits wobble quite enticingly.

“Hey, Tracy,” I smiled back. While not as flirty as Monique, throughout the entire year the athletically-toned Senior had made her lustful desire for me quite clear. As one of Dayna’s closest friends, I imagined she’d been one of the first to hear of my supposed prowess in the sack. And at Dayna’s blindfold party, she’d been the very first to come after me.

“You know, you don’t seem surprised at all by me coming onto you like this.” She posed just above me, turning herself left and right slowly to let me ogle all her glorious nakedness without anything interfering with my vision. “Did you recognize me somehow during that party?”

I nodded. “None of the other girls have a body quite like yours.”

The well-built girl smiled and blushed at the compliment. “During the party, Dayna said you seemed to have figured it out,” she shrugged, making her tits jiggle for a second.

I grinned. “You even came back for seconds.”

“That I did,” Tracy giggled. “So since you already know we’ve fucked like rabbits, we can skip all the dancing around. Are you ready to help me celebrate the end of my finals?” She flashed me twin rows of pearly white teeth while her hands worked at my jeans. And she leaned over to push her tits into my face.

I grinned and puckered up to suckle at a proffered breast. “That’s what I’m here for.”

“Hope you took your vitamins,” Tracy smiled at me. “’Cause I plan to celebrate all fucking night.”

We didn’t quite make it through the entire night, but Tracy sure tried. We fucked three times before she fell asleep on top of my chest, my limp cock still embedded inside her. Then she woke me up sometime in the middle of the night for another go.

On Thursday morning, however, Tracy called it quits before we even started anything. She was in fantastic shape and she was used to full-body workouts, but her pussy wasn’t quite as used to the pounding and those muscles were feeling too sore for a morning encore. She settled for kissing me goodbye and then leaving me at 6am to head to the gym.

I slept in until 10am, thankful for the time of rest. Never mind the finals and the studying, between Gwen, Brandi, Paige, Dayna, Monique, and Tracy, I’d seemed to be fucking non-stop all week.

And the trend continued. Marian Liu was graduating as well, and she wanted one last quickie just before lunch. So I woke up at 10am to find my dick several inches into the throat of the 5’0” Chinese pixie. Once she realized I was awake, she mounted me, rode me until I gave her a good cream filling, and then pecked me happily before bouncing away without looking back. I never even saw her again for the rest of my life after she left Berkeley.

Dayna then told me at lunch that Angela Chan and Julie Carpenter would be passing on their encores, since they both had steady boyfriends. I wondered about Marian, since she also had a boyfriend, but Dayna said that had been Marian’s decision.

Still, there was one more girl left from my Blindfold-Party Six, and Kerri Trainor stopped by that afternoon to finish out the group. The hot, emerald-eyed redhead pulled a fantastic orgasm out of me while I gave her three before we took a break to eat. The sex was just the appetizer.

We had pizza for dinner again. By that point, I was absolutely ravenous and loaded my plate with five slices before flopping heavily onto the couch and dropping my head back while I began to almost vertically cram big triangles of fat, grease, and cheese down my throat.

Ryan whistled from right beside me. “A bit hungry, are we?”

Bert chuckled from the next couch. “He should be. He’s been getting more exercise this week than if he were training for a marathon.”

I mumbled around a mouthful of pepperoni and sausage. “I am.”

Robin rolled her eyes. “How many girls is that this week?”

I turned and grinned at her, swallowing before saying, “Why? You want to be next?”

Robin glared at me and looked away. “You’re such a slut, Ben.”

“Hey,” Gwen put in. “Are you letting girls claim ‘next’?”

“Nuh-uh.” Kerri walked behind the couch with her own plate and a Diet Coke in her hand, waggling a finger at Gwen with her Diet Coke hand. “I’m not done with him yet.”

But then the copper-haired babe paused and leaned over Gwen’s shoulder, seductively adding, “On the other hand, if you’re willing to play with me, I might be convinced to share.”

Gwen turned to face Kerri and smiled thinly. “Pass.” It wasn’t a surprise; Gwen was straight hetero.

Kerri just stood up and smirked before turning back to her best friend. “What do you say, Julie? Come play with us?”

Julie dropped her elbow onto the dining table and planted her chin in her palm, brushing her long, dark hair behind one ear. “Don’t tempt me.”

“C’mon. Fair is fair.” Kerri’s eyes twinkled.

“I’d be willing to share,” Paige piped up from her spot at the dining table, giggling cutely.

“PAIGE,” I growled, turning around to give the petite redhead a stern look.

“Oh, poo.” Paige tossed off her usual comment of frustration, but there was a smile on her face and a twinkle in her eye. We were getting back to normal, and I couldn’t help but smile myself.

“Less talk,” Kerri nodded to me. “More eating. The clock is ticking.”

“We have all night.” I furrowed my eyebrows.

“And I want to squeeze every second I can get.” Kerri’s green eyes twinkled, and I promptly returned to inhaling pizza. A half-hour later, Kerri dragged me back into my bedroom, got us naked, and promptly inhaled my cock.

As it turned out, Kerri got someone to play with us after all. The lusty babe had gotten me hard and was stroking my renewed shaft with both hands when a [click] by the door got both our attentions, and we looked up to see that Julie had followed us in.

The pretty brunette with the wide mouth blushed before locking her gaze onto my throbbing, erect shaft, held up by Kerri’s pale white hand. The redhead looked at her best friend with a questioning expression, prompting Julie to sigh and say, “I can’t help it. I’ve GOT to fuck him just once more while I’ve got the chance.”

Kerri just smiled and waved her friend over, moving to undress Julie while the brunette simply knelt and inhaled my cock to the root, her wide lips circling the very base of my dick while shoving a good length of it right into her throat. And then the three of us fucked the night away.

It was wonderful. We screwed in every position and every combination two chicks and one dick could come up with, including one gymnastic position where Julie was hanging backwards off the edge of the bed, her legs wrapped around my waist while I fucked her pussy on top of the mattress, and with Kerri kneeling over Julie’s head on the floor to have the brunette eat her out.

Alone, Kerri was a hellion in the sack. Together with Julie, the pair of them were mind-blowing. And I nearly passed out from pleasure overload when I fired my final wad of cum into Kerri’s tight asshole while Julie was licking my balls. I came three times before we fell asleep, and once more around 2am.

After working through 5 out of the Blindfold-Six in the last 2 days, I should have been happy. But for some reason, just like the last time I nailed this group of Brandi’s and Dayna’s friends, it all felt a little ... soulless.

“Mmm-WAH! See you next year, Big Ben!” Kerri licked her lips and giggled happily, rubbing her nose against mine before she jumped off the bed and turned to join Julie as the two girls headed out the door.

We’d found time for one last threesome in the morning, the two soon-to-be-Senior babes lying face-to-face on top of each other, kissing and caressing while I swapped back and forth from one pussy to the other, eventually pulling out and spraying down Julie’s ass with all the cum I’d built up overnight. Kerri was quick to lick my cream off her best friend’s buttcheeks, as eager as if it had been Jim Beam whiskey and chocolate sauce. And just like at our more “normal” parties, she moved up to share with her girlfriend in a tongue-filled kiss.

But now they were gone. And I was once again left alone with my thoughts.

Rubbing my eyes, I sat up in bed, only now realizing that the girls hadn’t closed the door on their way out. And presently, Dawn stepped into the doorway, crossing her arms beneath her breasts and leaning against the door frame. “You look content.”

I shrugged. “What can I say? Fucking makes me happy.”

My best friend smirked at me and shook her head wryly. She looked like she was about to say something, but Brandi showed up and leaned against the opposite side of the doorjamb.

My sister smiled and raised her eyebrows. “You do realize you’ve run out of our friends from the party.”

I grinned and then obviously ogled Dawn. “Well, not all of them.”

Dawn blushed, then rolled her eyes and chuckled. “Maybe if you’re really nice to me. But seriously, what are you going to do now? We’ve still got one more final left this afternoon.”

I shrugged. “Doesn’t matter.” I then looked significantly at Brandi, gratitude in my eyes. “They kept me distracted long enough to make it to today. Today Adrienne’s finally going to talk to me.”

My sister tipped her head in acknowledgment of my unspoken thanks. But Dawn furrowed her eyebrows and turned to glare at my sister. “Wait, is THAT what this was all about? Keeping Ben occupied?”

Brandi shrugged. “I take care of my little brother. He was a mess after Adrienne left him and we both know what works on him.” My sister arched an eyebrow at me. “Ejaculations are pretty head-clearing, aren’t they?”

I nodded and smiled. “Woulda failed every single final without them.” Then I sighed a little more forlornly. “Hell, I probably would have driven myself insane overthinking everything and hunted down Adrienne to plead with her to take me back.”

Brandi grinned and waved her hand at me in a ‘See?-Told-Ya-So’ gesture. But Dawn didn’t look quite so amused.

“You ... You still want to get back together with Adrienne?” Dawn asked, looking horrified.

I didn’t understand her expression yet, so I just answered carefully, “Uh, yeah...” Dawn just kept gawking at me and I almost-nervously stammered, “She still hasn’t even explained to me why she broke up with me. I guess a part of me is still hoping we can go back to the way things were.”

“So ... all those girls,” Dawn began, furrowing her eyebrows, glaring at Brandi. “YOU set those up?”

Brandi shrugged. “Well, me and Dayna.”

Dawn blinked. “Ben didn’t go out and seduce them on his own or anything?”

Brandi frowned. “What? No. Ben would never mess with our friends without going through us first, and the girls would never have fucked Ben without our permission. Oh, they certainly wanted to, especially after Dayna’s party last December. But they never would have gone behind our backs.”

Dawn turned to me with confusion evident on her face. “But I thought you were just taking out your aggression and anger at Adrienne? Like with Gwen!”

I pinched my lips and shrugged. “I’m still not sure what happened with Gwen. My mind just sorta snapped those times.”

“But I thought you were just fucking around because you were free!” Dawn’s mouth was gaping open. “Adrienne dumped you. Paige realized you didn’t love her. So you were just going to go nuts, screwing everything in sight and enjoy your freedom, right?”

I frowned. For once, Dawn did NOT understand what was going through my mind. I shook my head and said, “The sex was a welcome distraction; but in the end, I’ll never feel for those girls what I felt with Adrienne. I love her, Dawn. I still love her. And I’d trade all of Brandi’s friends to get her back. I thought you knew that.”

Dawn was standing up straight now, looking at me angrily. I furrowed my eyebrows and blinked rapidly, not understanding at all. And then without another word, Dawn turned and stomped away.

“Dawn?” I first called in confusion. “DAWN?” I didn’t need our lifelong connection and understanding to figure out that my best friend was mad at me. And I was quickly out of bed.

“Whoa! Whoa!” Brandi held her hands up to stop me, and then pointed down at my crotch. Belatedly, I realized that I was still naked, having never re-dressed after Kerri and Julie had left me. I turned and scrambled for my dresser while my sister simply backed up and closed the door. “I’ll find her,” my sister promised.

Something had just gone terribly wrong.

Dawn was pretty easy to find; she hadn’t gone far.

Wearing jeans and a hastily-grabbed long-sleeved shirt, without even bothering to put on underwear, I emerged from my bedroom and frantically looked around. Brandi whistled to me and pointed toward the backyard.

I nodded in thanks and hustled out the back door, feeling the adrenaline rush of panic when I hit the deck and saw nothing but empty grass and the fences bordering us from the neighbors.

Someone sighed behind me and to my left. “I’m over here,” Dawn mumbled.

I whirled and saw Dawn sitting on the old couch we’d stashed back here, her knees pulled up to her chest with her heels on the edge of the seat and her arms wrapped around her legs. She looked up at me with a sickly expression and then hunched over, resting her chin on her knees. I quickly moved to sit beside her and put a hand on her shoulder. “Dawn. Talk to me.”

She exhaled and blinked, pushing out a bead of moisture from the corner of her eye that tumbled down her cheek. She pursed her lips and stared straight ahead, not answering just yet.

I tried to wait her out. I could see the gears turning in Dawn’s head and knew enough about her to know she just needed some time to process, the same way I did when I got into one of these moods. So I bit my lip and steeled myself to remain silent.

Still, it was really hard to just sit there and watch her. I rubbed her shoulder for a few seconds and then moved to embrace her, to wrap my arms around my best friend. I wanted to reassure her that everything would be alright with my very presence, the same way she had done for me so many times, including the night right after Adrienne walked away from me.

But Dawn would have none of it. The instant I started hugging her she brusquely pushed me away with her right arm. “Get away from me!” Her volume didn’t rise, but there was no mistaking the hateful tone in her voice.

“What?” I was more confused than ever.

“Can’t you tell? I’m still upset with you!” she spat.

“Upset? What? Why?” For the past few days, I never noticed any signs my best friend was upset with me. She’d been nothing but supportive and comforting in the aftermath of my breakup with Paige and my ... whatever ... with Adrienne. This weird mood of Dawn’s had only started when Brandi told her how she and Dayna had been setting me up for mutual booty calls with their friends. But that didn’t make any sense; Dawn had known full well what I was doing and she’d never before given any indications that my actions bothered her. “What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong?” Dawn exhaled, looking even more upset that I didn’t already know. “What’s wrong?”

I recoiled away from her, afraid she was going to attack me. But she backed up and shook her head in disgust. “You’re still fucking in love with her! That’s what’s fucking wrong!”

“Huh?”

Dawn canted her head back, staring at the roof above our heads as she groaned in annoyed frustration. “I’m such an idiot. I knew it. But I didn’t realize. I’m such an idiot.”

“Dawn. What are you talking about?”

“You! You fucking ASSHOLE!”

“Dawn!” I jerked my head back at the vehemence in her tone.

“Adrienne! You’re still fucking in love with her! You still fucking want to get back together with her!”

I blinked. Well, duh... But saying that didn’t seem like a good idea right now. Instead, I took a deep breath and nodded. “Of course.”

“You don’t get it, do you?”

I’m a guy. When do guys EVER get it when a girl gets like this? But I tried. “Does it bother you that I want to be together with Adrienne?”

“YES!!!” she blurted and then immediately clammed up. “I mean, ‘no’,” she tried to say before sighing and dropping her feet off the bench, stomping them onto the patio hardwood. She planted her hands on her knees and hunched over, hanging her head down between her shoulders. I reached up to rub her arm again, but she slapped my hand away.

“Dawn...” I pleaded, wanting to hold her and scared she would slap me away again. “Talk to me.”

“You gave her a promise ring, Ben,” she said so quietly I almost didn’t hear her.

I blinked twice, not comprehending.

“Uh, yeah.”

“You gave her a promise ring.”

I shrugged.

She realized I wasn’t following and sighed, hanging her head down again. “What does that mean to you?”

I blinked. “It’s a promise. Like ... I dunno. An engagement ring is a promise to get married. A promise ring is a promise to ... to be committed, I guess.”

“Or a promise to get engaged someday?” Dawn raised her eyebrows.

I pinched my lips. “Well, yeah. I guess so.”

Dawn’s eyes dipped and she got a look of such unimaginable disappointment on her face. “Fuck you, Ben.”

“Wha—?”

“Fuck. You.” Her voice was biting, full of hate and anger.

I winced, not understanding anything more than that Dawn hated my very guts.

“A promise ring means an engagement ring. An engagement ring means you’re gonna get MARRIED. To HER. Not ME. Don’t you get it? You weren’t supposed to make some grand commitment to Adrienne!” Dawn practically yelled in my face. “You weren’t supposed to get that serious! You’re supposed to be MY Ben!”

“What?”

“MY Ben! Mine!” Dawn raged. “As in: NOT hers!”

“Dawn!” My sense of calm was already frazzled from her running away in the first place. Her shouting and her tone now made ME raise the volume.

“What about US?” she yelled again.

“What ABOUT us?” I yelled right back defensively. Sighing, I shook my head and furrowed my eyebrows. Then I thrust my hands at her. “There is no US! You’re my best friend! And you’re with Ryan!”

“I’m not gonna fucking marry Ryan!” Dawn yelled at me.

“So, what? If Adrienne dumps me, are you gonna break up with him now for me?” I snarled. “After all, you did say I could take you back when my relationship with Adrienne ended. Huh?”

“Fuck you!” [WHACK]

Pain blossomed in my left cheek and I rotated my head to the side with the impact. My eyes were wide open in shock that Dawn had actually slapped me, and I gingerly held my reddened skin.

“I am NOT your fucking fallback!” Dawn spat before she stood up and stomped back to the door.

I was still in shock at the slap and I just looked up, wild-eyed, at my best friend. She stopped at the door, her hand on the knob, and a shudder went through her entire body. Biting her lip, she turned her face to me, now strewn with tears that were pouring in rivers down her cheeks.

“I thought we were going to wait for each other, Ben,” she sighed dejectedly. “I was going to be your Dawn, forever. And I thought you would be mine. I guess I was wrong.”

She yanked open the door and went through.

“Forget it, Dayna. I’m not in the mood.” I waved the hot blonde away and hunched over my backpack, putting in my textbook. I wasn’t sure what good it would do me since this wasn’t an open-book final, but I packed it anyways and hoisted the bag over my shoulder.

“That’s kind of the point,” Dayna raised her eyebrows before glancing back at Brandi. She crossed her arms beneath her Double-D’s, lifting them partially out of her V-neck sweater. But even glorious breasts weren’t going to fix my mood.

I shook my head. “It’s not about distraction. And even if you did, I’m going to see Dawn in about ten minutes and I’m going to get all fucked up again.”

“What the hell happened to you two out there?” Dayna sighed. “Must’ve been some fight.”

“I don’t even know what happened out there,” I sighed. Then I stepped forward and pecked Dayna’s cheek. “Thanks for the offer, though. You’ve been absolutely incredible this whole year.”

“You too, stud,” Dayna winked flirtatiously.

I moved up and hugged my sister. “See you later.” And then I made the long trek up the hill to my last final.

As expected, Dawn was already there when I arrived.

As expected, my mood sunk even further when she wouldn’t look at me.

As expected, my brain started filling up with ruminations and wonderings about what the hell was going on and would I ever fix things with my best friend and why the hell was she so mad at me?

So as expected, I totally BOMBED the test.

When I walked back into the house after completely destroying my grade in that afternoon’s final, all I could think about was how Dawn had quickly gotten up from her seat and fled the auditorium before I could even talk to her. She hadn’t looked back at me. She’d merely hustled away as if I were just another stranger in the crowd, instead of the best friend she’d grown up with since infancy.

Where was she right now? When would she be coming home? Why did she—

“Hi, Ben.”

I came to a full and complete stop, my eyes going wide as I saw Adrienne stand up from the suitcase she was currently packing. Only then did I remember that this was FRIDAY. This was the day — and the time — she’d promised we’d talk about our relationship. And the weight of our potential discussion dropped onto my shoulders enough to make me straight collapse onto the daybed beside me.

You might not believe it, but I was so preoccupied with Dawn that I completely forgot about my other appointment. You know: the one I’d been anxiously awaiting all week ... And my mind raced as I struggled to switch gears from worrying about my relationship with Dawn to facing the potential end of my relationship with Adrienne.

“Ben, you okay?” Adrienne quickly came over, a concerned look on her face.

I just took a few deep breaths to calm myself before looking her in the eye and saying, “Sorry. I didn’t know I’d react like this.”

She pursed her lips and instinctively moved to touch me, but checked herself and brought her hand back. She took a deep breath of her own and then said, “I’ve missed you these past few days.”

“I’ve missed you, too,” I said quietly.

“Well, you’ve been keeping busy from what Dayna tells me.” Adrienne smirked.

I sighed and thought about all the girls I’d been with. “I told you before,” I began while staring her dead in the eyes. “I’d trade them all for you.”

Adrienne blinked and turned away, unable to look at me in the face of my obvious love for her. She looked guilty, and right then I knew this wasn’t going to go the way I might have wanted.

“I promised you we’d talk after Finals were over,” Adrienne began. “So now we can talk.”

I just nodded. Clearly, Adrienne had given this plenty of thought and she was sure to have a lot of things she wanted to say. I, on the other hand, was still caught with my metaphorical pants down and I would need the time to remember all the things I’d been thinking about all week, all the things I wanted to say to her. That was the plan: Let Adrienne talk. I’d get my bearings. And then we could rationally figure things out.

Adrienne said, “We need to break up.”

I let out a kind of strangled combination of a squeak and a choke. The odd sound erupted from my throat while I gulped and folded inward, feeling like I’d shrunk a few inches all at once. It wasn’t that I was totally unprepared for her declaration. After all, I’d been feeling somewhat “dumped” for days now, even if she hadn’t come out and said it yet.

But to hear Adrienne actually declare she no longer wanted to be my girlfriend cut through my heart with such rending pain that I couldn’t think of anything else but absolute panic. It was as if I’d been cruising along a powerful speedboat in the open ocean, seeing paradise in the distance not too far away, when suddenly my engines were cut out from under me. One moment, I was sure of my path and my future. The next, I was adrift without a lifeline, so close to happiness and yet now left with no idea how I would survive the next few moments.

“Ben, please.” Adrienne reached out and held my hands, sitting beside me on the daybed. “You have to understand.”

“But why?” I croaked.

“Because our relationship can’t go any further. You want what I can’t give you. We’ve gone as far as we can go.”

“But ... that doesn’t mean we have to stop and break up!” I whimpered. “Why can’t we just go back to the way things were?”

“Because people don’t go backwards. We’ve already gone forward, already tried the cross a line where I just can’t follow you.”

“What did I do?” I pleaded. “All I ever wanted was to love you.”

Adrienne shook her head. “You wanted more. You wanted more of me than I could give you.”

“How?”

She sighed and then inhaled deeply. “Remember expectations, Ben? That talk we had way in the beginning? I only had one thing I wanted from you. Just one thing.”

I sighed. “’Adrienne keeps her independence’,” I quoted.

Adrienne nodded.

“I let you have your independence,” I insisted. “I never told you where to go or where to be. You were never my beck and call. And when you wanted to pursue this relationship with Grace, I gave you every freedom.”

“You asked me to spend more time with you.”

“Was that so wrong? I only told you what I wanted. I never demanded it of you.”

“It felt like you were trying to tie me down.” Adrienne bit her lip. “That ... that ring was a leash.”

“I never wanted to tie you down, and I never meant for the ring to feel like a leash,” I pleaded. “It was just jewelry, just a present to show you how special you are to me on our anniversary. I said it when I gave it to you: It wasn’t an engagement ring. It was just a promise that I would always love you and that you would always be important to me.”

“But it felt like an engagement,” Adrienne moaned and turned her back to me, dropping my hands. And facing away, she said, “Ben, I knew you would want the wife and kids and all that jazz someday. I’m too young to settle down; you’re too young. And it was so far off in the future that I thought I would have time to really decide for myself. But when that ring slipped onto my finger, I just KNEW I couldn’t be your wife. I would have been happy to be your girlfriend for a few more years, and I will ALWAYS care about you. But ... I just can’t imagine right now being married and pregnant.”

I sighed. I should have known better. Adrienne always had a very defined boundary in her head of how committed she would let herself be. When I wanted a relationship, she wanted ‘nottogether’. If I pushed her to be closer, she pushed me away. This was no different. And with a single ring, I’d finally pushed her too far.

“What if I take back the ring and take back the pressure. I just want to be with you, Adrienne, as your boyfriend,” I said softly. “I’ll take back the feelings and desires to be anything more.”

She shook her head sadly. “Feelings don’t work like that.”

‘Feelings don’t work like that’. Why did that phrase sound familiar? “Why not?” I asked.

Adrienne smiled wanly at me. “Because those feelings are in your heart. You want to settle down with me. You want to dream about picket fences and children with me. But I’m never going to give them to you.”

“Adrienne...”

She shook her head. “I can’t lose you, Ben. That’s why we have to break up. If we stay together, you’re just going to get more and more attached. And it’ll hurt even more when you realize I’m not the one you want to be with for the rest of your life. And then I’ll lose you.”

“Adrienne...”

“We’ve gone as far as we can go,” she said softly, touching my cheek. “I’ll love you forever and always, Ben. But we’ve come to the end of our road.”

She kissed my right cheek, wiped the tear rolling down hers, then stood up and walked out the door.

Dawn had walked away from me. Adrienne walked away from me.

I wanted to DIE.

Without my girlfriend or my best friend, I went to the one person I had left. When I knocked on the door, Brandi took one look at me and then waved me inside. I went straight to her bed and crawled on top of it, curling onto my side in a fetal position.

Brandi came over and sat down beside me, stroking my head. “You okay?”

I closed my eyes. “I’ll be okay.”

“I’m guessing things didn’t go very well with Adrienne.”

I took a deep breath. “I knew she was going to break up with me. I just had to know why.”

“Did she tell you?”

I nodded.

“Does it make sense?”

I sighed, and then nodded again. “Doesn’t mean I have to like it, though.”

Brandi sighed and ran her fingers through my hair. “You knew she didn’t want to settle down and have kids. Especially not at eighteen. But you’re young, and I know Adrienne still loves you. You know that, right?”

I sighed and nodded. “I know she does.”

“So it’s not completely over.”

“It’s over,” I sighed. “She’s not my girlfriend anymore. I even lost Paige.”

“It’s not like you’ll have trouble finding another girlfriend,” Brandi snorted.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

My big sister sighed. “Ben, ever since Megan, when have you ever had trouble finding a girlfriend? Look at you: you’re tall, handsome, have a great body, and you’re really intelligent. With every girl of yours I’ve talked to, they all rave about your attentiveness and sensitivity to their feelings. You’re an incredible listener, especially for a guy. You’re passionate and emotional and empathetic. And you don’t do a lot of those little things that piss girls off. When I send you into the pantry to find something, you never come back and whine, ‘I can’t find it.’ You always put the toilet seat down and you wipe up the water around the sink. You kill spiders and you change the light bulbs. You stopped the toilet from leaking and you fixed the damn heater when it conked out. One minute, you’ll delicately fold Adrienne’s underwear, but the next minute you’ll bend her over and fuck her brains out. You’re the sweetest and most introspective guy I know, and yet you can be so ... manly ... when we want you to be. Ben, you’re the Brawny man and Mr. Clean at the same time. You’re the most perfect boyfriend imaginable, and the fact is, if I wasn’t your sister I’d be falling all over myself to be your girlfriend.”

My eyes were closed and I whimpered. Despite Brandi’s glowing words, all I could think about was the one girl I couldn’t have anymore. “You say I won’t have trouble finding another girlfriend, but all I want is Adrienne,” I whimpered.

My sister sighed. “Can’t do anything about that now, but look on the bright side; she loves you and she’s still your sister,” Brandi ruffled my hair. “Even if you’re not meant to be a couple forever, she won’t be gone from your life. You’ll have plenty of chances this summer to at least talk about it with her and figure out how your relationship is going to continue.”

I blinked a few times and thought about that. Even if Adrienne was breaking up with me, we wouldn’t actually be separating this coming summer. In fact, this may have even been exactly why Adrienne was breaking up with me, and when. She knew that if she did it now, she could still be a part of my family and a part of my life. SHE didn’t want to lose ME, which meant that I wouldn’t be losing her.

And those thoughts gave me hope.

Brandi then lay herself down beside me, spooning herself against my back and resting her head on top of my shoulder. She squeezed me in a warm hug and I reached around to hold her arm. “I’m here for you, bro.”

I took a long, deep breath, and let out a long sigh of relief. I felt better. And now that I felt a little better, I remembered everything else that was going on and patted Brandi’s arm. “I’m okay. You should go. I know you wanted to go prep for tonight’s party.”

“The party can wait. I’m here for you.”

“No, it’s alright,” I said quietly. “I just need somewhere to be alone. I wanted to let Adrienne finish packing.” Once again, Dayna and Brandi were staying for their summer internships and wouldn’t be moving out. But Dawn, Adrienne, and I were returning home. We’d leave most of our stuff in the Berkeley house, but we still needed to organize what we were bringing home and what we were boxing up for the three months we’d be gone. I’d finished most of my packing throughout the week, but Adrienne was just now getting started.

I patted Brandi’s arm a final time, then she kissed my shoulder and rolled away. I didn’t turn around, but I felt my sister get off the bed and walk out the door, closing it behind her.

And then I was left alone with my thoughts.

I loved Adrienne. I was sure of it. At least, my heart was sure. We’d been through so much together: from the temptress in High School to the broken girl who needed to trust me to my absolutely delightful girlfriend and sexual playmate.

Adrienne often asked me, “Am I the greatest girlfriend or what?” And truly, she was. No one could ask for a more beautiful partner. And while she definitely needed me to be her rock of safety and trust, she was never actually “needy”. She would be patient and kind and in most cases, avoided the stereotypical “girl-drama” that plagued so many other guys. She was affectionate and loving and perpetually horny. She made sure I was never sexually unsatisfied and even brought me a multitude of girls into our bed without jealousy.

But could we really be anything more? Time and again, I’d started talk of settling down and taking our relationship to the next level. We’d already done everything possible sexually, even shared the most harrowing emotional turmoils; so our next levels were those of codependency and a shared life.

But time and again, Adrienne had expressed a hesitance to settle down. She was young, she was hot, and she greatly valued her independence. She wanted to do her own thing, and when she imagined herself at thirty, she imagined herself single and without kids. Heck, when she imagined herself at fifty, she was still single and without kids. This hadn’t been some big secret. She’d made her intentions clear. But I’d blinded myself to the hope that I could someday change her.

I’d created expectations she couldn’t fulfill.

I thought, then, of Paige; how she’d hoped I could change. I’d told her way in the beginning that I wasn’t going to fall in love with her, that she shouldn’t expect me to develop those kinds of feelings. Paige had let herself expect things beyond what I could give her, and she’d been left disappointed when those expectations didn’t come true. I’d warned her, but the disappointment was there nonetheless.

Adrienne had warned me, but the disappointment was there just the same.

Adrienne once told me that relationships fail only two ways: One, someone loses interest in the relationship and wants to move on to someone else. Two, someone doesn’t live up to the other’s expectations.

You could argue that Adrienne was more interested in spending time with Grace than with me, but that first way wasn’t the primary reason our relationship had failed. If nothing else, I didn’t think Adrienne wanted to move on away from me.

No, the problem was that she couldn’t live up to MY expectations, and she knew it. She’d asked me not to form those expectations in the first place; but I’d formed them anyways. I couldn’t help it. Marriage and family were things I wanted for myself someday. It wasn’t necessarily Adrienne’s fault. Ultimately, we were just incompatible. We wanted different things in our futures.

So Adrienne was right. We’d gone as far as we could. We’d come to the end of our road. And trying to keep things patched up any longer, knowing we didn’t have a future together, would only make things worse when the time came.

Now, we had to redefine our relationship as friends — and technically, as family. We could make it work. We wouldn’t lose each other.

And so, I understood why we had to break up...

... Didn’t mean I had to like it.

I just closed my eyes and felt fresh moisture running down my cheeks. And I mourned the end of our romance.

I had just about pulled myself together when a knock sounded at the door. Wiping my eyes, I got up and went to it, half-expecting to see Matt Kanemura looking for Brandi. But instead, Adrienne stood before me with a slightly nervous expression on her face. “Hi, Ben.”

“Hey,” I said hesitantly. Then I took a deep breath and collected myself, wiping the last tears from my red-rimmed eyes.

“You look terrible,” she said apologetically.

I paused to look her over: Poised, upright, and still stunningly gorgeous, even just in jeans and a casual polo top. I returned my gaze to her beautiful face and replied, “You look great.”

She blushed and glanced down. “Well, I’ve had a lot more time to get used to the idea.”

“You could have told me on Tuesday.” I pinched my lips together.

Adrienne exhaled. “I didn’t want to hit you with that until your Finals were over.”

I shrugged. “Might have actually been better than the unknown.”

“If so, I’m sorry,” Adrienne sighed. “Maybe I needed the time to get used to the idea.”

A noise sounded off downstairs. Someone was moving furniture in preparation for tonight’s party, and at the sound I pointed and gestured with my head. “Let’s go to our room, okay?” It felt weird calling it “our” room when Adrienne hadn’t slept there all week.

She nodded and turned to lead the way. We waved to Dayna, Brandi, Kevin, and Matt, who were all doing party prep. I looked at Brandi and said, “I’ll just be a few minutes. Then I’ll come out and help.”

Dayna took one look at me and said, “Take your time. We’ll be fine without you.”

I nodded and followed Adrienne into our bedroom, closing the door behind me. Adrienne went straight to the bed and sat down, patting the spot next to her. After a moment’s hesitation, I sat down, but kept a good foot of space between us. “So how is this gonna work?” I asked. “We still live together. Hell, technically you’re like my sister. And I don’t want things to be awkward between us for the entire summer.”

Adrienne looked away from me and took a deep breath. She visibly steeled herself and then turned back to me with a fresh purpose in her eyes. “That’s one of the other reasons I wanted to wait, Ben. I talked to my lawyers this morning and they’ve just about completed the execution of my parents’ estate. The lawsuit filed against the cab company has been settled and I’ve got some assets — millions, actually. I’m eighteen now, almost nineteen, and I think it’s best that I move out on my own.”

I blinked rapidly and my eyes opened wide. “What?” I’d gotten my hopes up, again, on the idea that Adrienne and I wouldn’t really be separating. She was family now.

“Ben, I loved being a part of your family. I especially loved the warmth of your parents and your sisters. But we both know I’m not really one of you.”

“Of course you are,” I insisted. “Yeah, so you don’t look much like us. But you can’t undo the past year. You’ve lived with us. You went to summer camp with us. We’re family.”

“Not really. And I don’t belong with you anymore.”

“Of course you do!” I thought back over all of Adrienne’s drama last year. “You ... you NEED us!”

She pinched her lips and looked down while shrugging. “I lived on my own for most of my life. It’s nothing new.”

“And you were miserable on your own,” I argued. “Remember all those Wednesday dinners? Breaking up with me, I get; but you need this family more than you need me.”

“I have to move out,” she insisted.

“Wait, wait, no.” I shook my head. “This is ridiculous. A week ago you were still calling our parents ‘Mom’ and ‘Dad’. Brooke, and especially the twins, look up to you as their big sister. You can’t just abandon them.”

Adrienne smiled wanly. “I’ll still be around. It’s still my hometown and all my old friends are there. And I couldn’t stay away from your sisters if I tried. But I can at least give you your bedroom back and things will be less awkward between us if we’re not living together anymore. If we’re not dating anymore, I shouldn’t intrude. It’s time.”

“Adrienne, no!” I protested. Breaking up was one thing, but she’d become such an integral part of my everyday existence that I couldn’t imagine not having her around anymore. Even if she wasn’t my girlfriend anymore, I’d assumed I wouldn’t lose her as my sister. I couldn’t be losing her.

Adrienne looked at me sadly. “This is the way it has to be.”

“Salud!!!” I yelled and then downed the shot of tequila. Quickly, I then grabbed up a lime wedge, sucking on it to numb the horrible aftertaste. Dayna hooted beside me before sucking on her own wedge. Next to her, Bert was starting to look pretty green around the gills by now.

I was pretty drunk already. I’d likely consumed more alcohol at one party than ever before in my life. But I had to keep going.

I HAD to keep going.

Adrienne had left before the party got started. At the time, I’d let her go still harboring a sense of hope. After all, she’d return in the morning so we could drive home, and I’d have at least six hours alone with her and nothing to do but talk. Beyond that, she would HAVE to live with us for a few days until she worked out other arrangements. Plus, she’d still have to explain to our parents that she was going to move out, and I still had confidence that they could talk her out of it.

But the longer she was gone — and the more I drank — the more dark thoughts entered my head. More talking wouldn’t change Adrienne’s reasons for breaking up with me. And if she was still breaking up with me, then she was still moving out of my life. And that sense of hope began to fade away.

Making things worse was Dawn. She wasn’t actively doing anything to make me miserable, she merely avoided me. For the entire duration of this party, she’d hung out with her friends and generally had a good time ... as long as she was a good twenty feet away from me. She didn’t approach, and she sent me enough signals to know I would only make things worse if I tried to talk to her now.

On the same day, I’d lost my girlfriend and my best friend.

I needed another drink.

Drinking made me feel happy. So I grabbed the next shot off the table and yelled, “Santé!” Then I pounded that one, too.

Dayna was about three seconds behind me. “Santé!” she repeated. She pounded her shot, then grimaced and bit into a lime wedge.

Bert groaned, but dutifully slurped down his shot and grunted, “Santé.”

Monique was across the room, but she heard us and yelled, “Santé!” in response as well. It WAS a French term. At least, I thought it was.

No matter. I was already gesturing for Matt to pour me another one. “C’mon. I got a dozen more ways of saying ‘cheers’.”

But Matt put his hand over my shot glass, covering the opening. I darted my eyes up to his — a little too fast because I momentarily got dizzy and stumbled. And then I complained, “C’mon, man!”

“How many is that, Ben? In total.” Matt asked, searching my eyes.

“What? You think I can count in this state?” I grinned goofily, wobbling unsteadily on my own two feet.

“I think that’s enough.” Matt patted my shoulder while I turned from giddily happy to morosely upset in a heartbeat. I actually started growling at the guy as I reached for the bottle.

Matt just held it away and gave me a stern look.

“Oh, give him a break, Mattie,” Dayna chortled quite drunkenly. “I wanna see how many more languages he can say ‘cheers’ in. What is that, four already?”

“Nuh-uh.” A new body swooped in, Kevin Weiss wrapping his arm around Dayna and pulling her off to the side. “Slow down babe or you won’t be any use to me later.”

“Ffpt.” Dayna blew a raspberry at her boy-toy. “I can fuck you under the table no matter how drunk I get.”

“Dizzy-drunk, maybe. Unconscious-drunk: you don’t do so well, babe.” Kevin shook his head, pulling her toward the middle of the room where about ten people were dancing.

I just waved my empty shot glass rather pitifully in Matt’s direction, but he was looking over my shoulder. Dawn was standing just behind me, looking sad and concerned at the same time. It was the first time all night she had approached me.

“Hey, Ben. You really need to slow down,” my best friend said gently.

I literally took one look at Dawn’s sweet face and broke down crying. With one look, I thought of all the mistakes I’d made in my life, and most importantly the ones that led to me and my soulmate no longer being together.

If I’d just done things differently, I would be with her. If I’d just done things differently, I would have always been with her. Wasn’t that the way it was supposed to be?

“Ohmigod!” Dawn gasped as I toppled forward right at her. Fortunately for both her and me, Ryan had lightning-fast reflexes as he jumped in and caught me before I landed on anybody.

My vision was a blurry haze, whether from the room-spinning or moisture in my eyes I’m not sure. Probably both. In any case, I didn’t need to see as I felt Ryan’s shoulder dip beneath my armpit as he stood me up. And at Dawn’s direction, the big guy started hopping me toward my bedroom.

“Is he okay?” Tracy McMillan was beside me, hooking beneath my other armpit. Damn the girl was strong.

“Drank WAY too much WAY too fast, I think,” Dawn sighed.

“Ben? You okay?” Kerri Trainor was in front of me, her coppery hair standing out against the background.

And last but not least was the little-girl voice. “Ben? Are you alright?”

In front of Paige, I felt a driving need to appear strong and responsible. So looking blearily at her (well, the middle one of the three of her), I mustered up enough energy to say, “I’m fine, Red.” And then wincing in even further mental anguish over how my relationship with Paige had ended, I simply surrendered and let Ryan and Tracy carry me into my bedroom.

Once on the bed, I felt a brief flutter of happiness surge through me as I felt and saw Dawn climb onto the bed with me. This was the Dawn I remembered: ever-loving, ever-faithful. No matter what else was going on in our lives, she was my very best friend. Just like before, after Adrienne had first walked away from me, I knew Dawn would pull my head into her lap and stroke my hair until the dark thoughts quieted down in my mind.

But then I felt the tender kiss of her lips against my forehead. And afterwards, nothing. Dawn had gotten off the bed. A few seconds later, the door closed.

I was alone.

I am a sexual creature.

Once I realized that I was well and truly alone, some part of my brain simply shut off. It was the part of my mind that dealt with love, emotion, and affection. That part of me simply couldn’t handle it anymore. Paige was gone. Adrienne was gone. Dawn was gone.

I was alone.

And I am a sexual creature.

I’d been momentarily dizzied by seeing Dawn again after she’d avoided me all afternoon. The part of me that cared had shut down, and the dizziness had faded away with it. I still felt the clouding, sluggish effects of alcohol in my muscles, but at least I could see straight again.

I hadn’t understood it the last time this had happened to me. I hadn’t realized just how angry and cold I felt when I’d gone into my robot mode. But now I recognized it. Some of the people I loved the most had abandoned me. That upset me. That pissed me off. What had I done wrong? What had I done to deserve this? All I ever wanted was to be the best Ben I could be. I loved without restraint. And I followed my heart.

And got my heart broken in the process. I was angry. At who, I wasn’t sure. But I was angry. And the flush of adrenaline coursing through my veins washed away most of the sluggishness I’d been feeling.

Like a robot, I got off the bed and mechanically strode over to the door. Opening it, I let the sounds of partying and thudding music fade into the background as I scanned the room for a good target. Any of them would do. So who would it be? Should I grab Monique, bury my face in her big tits, and drown my sorrows in the lush pleasure of her body? Or maybe I should drag Paige into my bedroom and reintroduce her tight asshole to my big, thick, throbbing dick. Heck, maybe I should just grab a random stranger; perhaps one of Brandi’s and Dayna’s other friends I had yet to have the pleasure of sampling. Ashley was very cute. And Erica had some serious bootay. Fuck, maybe I should even just grab Brandi and show her boyfriend how my sister REALLY loved to be fucked.

But then I saw HER. And it all just made sense.

The pretty blonde was dancing with some guy. Her long, long hair was a thick mass of curls and waves, interspersed with dark strands. Her dark eyeliner made her look alluringly sexy, accentuating the angles of her face. And her lips were pursed in such a way that I couldn’t help but imagine them wrapped around my dick.

I gave her no warning. She wouldn’t have wanted one. After all, she’d told me not to say a word. She’d told me just to TAKE her.

So I did.

“Eeep!” Gwen squeaked as I grabbed her arm and hustled back into my bedroom so fast she barely even had time to breathe. I slammed and locked the door before propelling the dirty-blonde babe over to my bed. With a simple push, she flopped onto her back with her legs up in the air, her thong panties on full display as the hem of her party dress flew up to her waist.

I wasted no time. With a sharp tug, the thong broke and ripped away from her crotch, leaving her neatly trimmed pussy naked in front of me. And my tongue was embedded in her channel before she even had time to squeak again.

Shouts and the sounds of a doorknob being twisted were accompanied by banging on the door. I casually ignored them as I reached up with both hands to spread Gwen’s legs to the side while digging my tongue deeper into her snatch. A few seconds later, I moved higher and sucked her protruding clit into my mouth.

One ... two ... three ... Touchdown.

Every girl is different, but Gwen’s buttons had always been a little more obvious than most to me. She was just a puppet in my hands. Maybe it was because her G-spot was easily accessible to both my fingers and cock, depending on which I had buried in her at the time. Maybe it was because the distance from her clit to her asshole was identically the distance of proper extension from my thumb to my middle finger, so that I could rub her clit with my thumb and pop my middle finger through her anus to JUST the right depth for her surprise and pleasure.

In any case: One, my thumb hit her clit. Two, my finger popped into her ass. And three, my left hand tickled just beneath the eighth rib on the right side of her torso. To most people, such a tickle wouldn’t do a damn thing. To Gwen, the light sensation was exactly where and exactly what she needed to light up in a screaming orgasm.

“Oh, FUUUUCK!!!”

Touchdown.

Gwen was shrieking her climax not ten seconds after I’d brought her into the room. Her whole body jerked and she bucked her ass off the bed, pushing her crotch into my face. I let my neck relax against the pressure and then stood up, dropping my jeans to the floor and taking aim at her wet opening.

Three seconds later, she screamed, “OH GOD! FUCK ME!!!” By then, my dick was fully embedded into her cunt.

“FUCK ME!!!” she screamed again. The banging on the door behind me stopped. “FUCK ME!” she repeated.

So I did.

Pounding her poor body with machine-like precision, I pulled Gwen’s legs around my waist and held them tight against my torso while I rhythmically lunged my way in and out of her body, my dick very nearly coming out of her with every backstroke. She felt the hammering force with every thrust, knocking the air from her lungs. But her hands scrabbled at my arms to hold me tighter and pull me into her body for the next one.

“Fuck me, Ben...” Gwen crooned. “Fuck the shit out of me!” And within four minutes I had her screaming with her second orgasm.

“Oh, FUUUUCKKK!!!”

I stopped then, to readjust the both of us. After pulling her dress over her head and stripping myself naked, I re-mounted the fully-aroused blonde and crushed her beneath my body. I gyrated my hips in a circular motion while gripping her hands tightly in mine while hooking her legs with my ankles. She squeaked and moaned quite satisfactorily before biting her teeth down on my shoulder and breaking into tears as a tremendous wave of pleasure rolled through her entire body, her third climax coming while I fucked her with a full-body humping motion.

After that, I clamped her legs together to tighten up her tunnel and rutted animalistically until I spent my load deep inside her body. Our initial lustful cravings thus satisfied, we collapsed together in a heap of naked flesh. And we panted to recover the oxygen we’d neglected while taking our pleasure from each other.

But we weren’t done yet. Drunk on hard alcohol and physical ecstasy, Gwen then greedily turned me over and slurped my dick into her mouth. I played with her hoop earrings and caressed her face while watching those pouty lips wrap around my cock and move up and down the shaft with her sucking motions.

It didn’t take long for me to re-harden. And then I was pulling her body on top of mine, crushing her lips with my own while we attacked each other’s mouth. So with her hips tightly gripped in my hands, I guided her steaming pussy down onto my upright shaft. Once seated, I raised my hands to form new grips on her jiggly tits.

And we started up again.

“Oh, God. Not again,” Gwen whimpered. That was all she had time to say before I clamped my left hand over mouth and nostrils, suffocating her briefly while I rammed my cock in and out of her cunt at a rapid pace while pushing the thumb of my right hand into her clenched asshole. The slutty dirty-blonde was bent face-down on all fours, her arms and legs beginning to wobble. And as her body consumed more oxygen without being able to breathe more in, I felt her weakening beneath me.

I was going to make her pass out again. And as she realized what I was about to do to her, she panicked and tried to jerk away from me. But with my thumb anchored in her ass, I gripped her buttcheek with my right hand and pressed her against my crotch to hold her in place while I used my heavier weight to pin her to the bed beneath me, still thrusting with my hips to rub the head of my cock against her G-spot.

“Nnnnghhh...” Gwen’s neck went limp as she groaned in mixed terror and pleasure. Deprived of oxygen and overstimulated by my cock in her cunt and my finger up her butt, Gwen’s body involuntarily exploded.

“MMPH!!!” Her whole body jerked violently to the left, collapsing that arm. And as she began tumbling downward, with my hand still covering her nose and mouth, I yanked her back and slammed my hips to press her entire body flat and flush against the mattress. And I held her there, unable to move or breathe while the orgasm literally sent her into a seizure.

After about fifteen seconds of constantly vibrating, Gwen’s neck went slack and I pulled back from her, yanking my cock out as I rolled back on my heels. And like a puppet suddenly deprived of its manipulating hands, she became a limp, boneless pile of empty flesh. Her limbs were splayed out at random, with her legs spread to the sides. Copious amounts of honey squirted erratically out of her pussy to be mirrored by the drool dribbling out of her mouth.

But I wasn’t done just yet.

My erection throbbed greedily as I reached into the drawer of my nightstand and then pulled out a familiar tube of KY jelly. I took the time to coat my member with plenty of lube before looming over Gwen’s unconscious body and pushing two lubricated fingers into her anus. Slowly and deliberately, I prepared the way. And then I moved myself into position.

Gwen started to wake up as my thick mushroom head pressed against her sphincter. Still limp and unconscious in the aftermath of such a powerful orgasm, her body was at full-relaxation and accepted my cock rather easily. I had the head and the first two inches inside her chute before she stirred awake and suddenly clamped down with her anal muscles. “Oh, fuck!” she whimpered, feeling the intrusion. “What are you—?”

“Shhh...” I soothed.

“Ben...” Gwen groaned as she bunched up the sheets in her hands. “Ben, no. I’ve never...”

I came to a dead stop at the word ‘no’. Even though I’d never personally sodomized the slutty blonde, I was surprised to find out she was an anal virgin. She certainly enjoyed my fingers there often enough. But despite my conscience preventing me from pushing further, my robotic mentality and sheer lust couldn’t let me back out. Not today. Not tonight.

“You can take it,” I encouraged.

“Ben, I don’t think— Ahhh!” Her complaint turned to a hiss as I shifted my weight and moved another two inches into her colon. Gwen gripped the sheets tighter and exhaled, panting shallowly. “Oh FUCK you’re so BIG!”

“You can take it...” I husked and pushed in another two inches, reaching my hands up to massage her neck and shoulder muscles at the same time.

“Fuckkkkk,” Gwen put her forehead down on the mattress, her teeth clenched as she breathed shallowly. And then at last, I felt her anal muscles relaxing as she released the tension throughout her entire body. Even her fingers stretched out and went limp. “Oh gawd ... Fuck my ass, Ben,” she said quietly.

I pushed the rest of my cock inside her, pushing my pelvic bone tight against her buttcheeks. She arched her spine when she felt me hit full penetration, lifting her head up briefly. But then she set her cheek back down on the mattress and surrendered to the sensations.

It didn’t take that long.

I was too primed from fucking her and Gwen was too overwhelmed from the entire session. I can only imagine what state her mind was in after being fucked to so many mind-blowing orgasms and passing out from her most recent one. She lay beneath me, humping her ass back to meet my every thrust while reaching down with one hand to play with her own clit. I kept my hands on her shoulders, alternately using them to prop myself up and rubbing her muscles at the same time while I rhythmically pounded myself in and out of her heretofore unused backdoor.

“Fuck my assss...” Gwen whimpered, her voice muffled against the mattress. A wet spot was spreading across the sheets, both from her drool and a few tears rolling out of her eyes as she both winced against the pain and moaned from the pleasure. “Fuck my assss...”

I held on just long enough. Gwen’s eyes were already pinched tightly closed when she suddenly grimaced as if in unimaginable pain. Her spine arched, her body tensed, and she stopped breathing altogether. Fifteen seconds passed before she suddenly dropped her face back down onto the bed and exhaled powerfully, a keening moan welling up from deep in her throat as she jerked violently and came. “NNNGH!”

“Nngh!” I grunted in response as my weight fell down against her buttcheeks, burying my cock to the root within her anal chute. I then let the floodgates open, pouring out my built-up load, hosing down her rectal walls with my thick, creamy spunk. Over and over I fired, my ab muscles tensing with every splattering shot. And her sphincter clenched and unclenched rhythmically, milking more and more out of my dick.

When we were both finally done, I rolled off her and flat onto my back, gasping for air. Like always, I left Gwen a puddle of orgasmic goo beside me where she’d turned onto her side, curled in a fetal position and comatose while sperm leaked in obvious white trails from both of her used and abused holes.

My mind was now a complete blank. I thought of absolutely nothing, such a blissful sensation after a full week’s worth of agonizing self-reflection.

And for a brief moment, I found peace.