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Chapter I Down the Rabbit-Hole

Alice[1] was boring. She was sitting by her sister on the bank of the river, and doing nothing. Once or twice she looked at the book that her sister held in her hands, but there were no pictures in it. “What is the use of a book[2],” thought Alice “without pictures or conversations?”

She decided to get up and pick some flowers, when suddenly a White Rabbit[3] with pink eyes ran nearby. There was nothing remarkable in that; but the Rabbit said, “Oh dear! Oh dear! I am late!” Then the Rabbit took a watch out of its pocket, and looked at it. Alice stood up. How strange! A rabbit has pockets, and a watch! She ran across the field after it. The Rabbit jumped into a large rabbit-hole[4] under the hedge.

Alice went after it. The rabbit-hole was like a tunnel. Alice began to fall down a deep well. The well was very deep, and she was falling very slowly. Down, down, down. Where is the end?

It took her a long time to go down, and as she went she had time to look at the strange things around her. First she tried to look down, but it was too dark to see. Then she looked at the sides of the well and saw many book-shelves; here and there she saw different maps. She took a jar from one of the shelves as she passed. On it was a label “ORANGE MARMALADE”, but there was no marmalade in it, so she put it back on one of the shelves.

“I’m sure I am going to the centre of the earth,” Alice said aloud. “It is four thousand miles down, I think. But maybe I am falling right through the earth[5]! How funny! The people there walk with their heads downward! I shall ask them what the name of the country is, you know. Please, Ma’am, is this New Zealand or Australia?”

Down, down, down. Nothing to do. Alice soon began to talk again. “Dinah[6] will miss me very much tonight, I think!” (Dinah was the cat.) “I hope they’ll give her milk. Dinah my dear! Where are you? Why not with me down here? There are no mice in the air, I’m afraid, but you can catch a bat. But do cats eat bats? Do cats eat bats? Do cats eat bats? Dinah, tell me the truth: do you eat bats?”

Suddenly, thump! thump![7] she came upon a heap of sticks and dry leaves. Alice jumped up on to her feet very fast: she looked up, but it was dark there. Before her was another long passage, and the White Rabbit went down it. Alice went like the wind. The Rabbit was saying, “Oh my ears and whiskers, how late, how late!” And he disappeared.

Alice stood in a long, low hall, a row of lamps was hanging from the roof. There were many doors on all sides, but they were all locked. She walked back and forth and tried to think how to get out. Suddenly she saw a little glass table; there was a tiny golden key on it. Alice thought that this was the key to one of the doors of the hall, but when she tried the key in each lock, she found that the locks were too large or the key was too small.

Then Alice noticed a little door about fifteen inches high[8]. She tried the key in the lock, and to her great joy it fitted. Alice opened the door and found a small passage, not larger than a rat-hole[9]. But how to get there? She was too big for that passage. She knelt down and looked through it into a garden of flowers.

Alice went back to the table: this time she found a little bottle on it, which was not there before, and round the neck of the bottle[10] was a paper label with the words “DRINK ME” in large letters.

It was all very well to say “Drink me,” but the wise little Alice said, “No, I’ll look first. Is it marked “poison” or not?” She knew: if you drink much from a bottle marked “poison,” it will certainly make you sick.

However, this bottle was not marked “poison,” so Alice decided to taste it, and found it very nice (it had a taste of a cherry-cake, ice-cream, pine-apple, roast turkey, and hot toast).

“How strange I feel” said Alice; “I am sure I am not so large as I was.”

And so it was indeed: she was now only ten inches high. She was now the right size to go through the small door and get out to that beautiful garden. So she decided to enter; but, alas for poor Alice! she forgot the little golden key, and when she went back to the table for it, she could not reach it: she was too little. Poor little Alice sat down and cried.

Soon she saw a little glass box that was lying under the table: she opened it, and found in it a very small cake, on which she noticed the words “EAT ME”. “Well, I’ll eat it,” said Alice, “and if I grow larger, I can reach the key; and if I grow smaller, I can creep under the door!”

She soon ate all the cake.

Chapter II The Pool of Tears

“How strange!” cried Alice; “how tall I am! Good-bye, my feet! Oh, my poor little feet, who will put on your shoes and stockings for you now, dears?”

When she looked down at her feet they were so far off.

“Let me see. I’ll give my feet a new pair of shoes every Christmas.”

She stopped to think: how to send them?

“They must go by mail,” she thought; “how funny! I’ll send shoes to my own feet! How strange the address will be!”

Just then her head struck against the roof of the hall: in fact she was now more than nine feet high, and she at once took up the little golden key. But she can’t open the door, she is too big. Poor Alice! She sat down and began to cry again.

“Shame on you,” said Alice, “a big girl like you! Don’t cry! Stop at once, I tell you!”

She was shedding gallons[11] of tears, until there was a large pool all round her, about four inches deep and reaching half down the hall.

After a time she heard some noise. She hastily dried her eyes to see what was coming. It was the White Rabbit. He was returning, with a pair of white gloves in one hand and a large fan in the other. He was muttering to himself, “Oh! the Duchess[12], the Duchess! She will be angry. Oh! I can’t be late!”

Alice began, in a low, timid voice, “If you please, sir—”

The Rabbit dropped the white gloves and the fan, and ran away into the darkness.

Alice took up the fan and gloves. “Dear, dear! How queer everything is today! And yesterday everything was as usual. Was I changed in the night? Let me think, who am I? Do I know the things that I used to know[13]? Let me see: four times five[14] is twelve, and four times six is thirteen, and four times seven is—oh dear! I shall never get to twenty at that rate[15]. Let’s try Geography. London is the capital of Paris, and Paris is the capital of Rome, and Rome—no, that’s all wrong, I’m certain! Who am I then?” cried Alice with tears, “I am so tired!”

As she said this she looked down at her hands, and was surprised. She put on one of the Rabbit’s little white gloves. “How could I do that?” she thought. “I am growing small again.”

She got up and went to the table. She was now about two feet high. The cause of this was the fan that she was holding, and she dropped it hastily.

And she ran back to the little door: but, alas! the little door was shut again, and the little golden key was lying on the glass table as before. Her foot slipped, and in another moment, splash![16] she was in salt water. She was in the pool of her own tears!

“I am drowning in my own tears!” said Alice, “Everything is queer today.”

Just then she heard a splash: at first she thought it was a walrus or hippopotamus, but then she remembered how small she was now, and she soon understood that it was only a mouse.

“Shall I” thought Alice, “speak to this mouse? I’ll try.” So she began: “O Mouse, do you know the way out of this pool? I am very tired, O Mouse!”

The Mouse looked at her, but it said nothing.

“Perhaps it doesn’t understand English,” thought Alice; “Maybe it’s a French mouse.” So she began again: “Où est ma chatte?[17]” It was the first sentence in her French lesson-book. The Mouse was in terror.

“Oh, I beg your pardon!” cried Alice hastily. “I quite forgot you didn’t like cats.”

“Didn’t like cats!” cried the Mouse, in a shrill, passionate voice. “I am a mouse, can’t you see?”

“Yes, yes,” said Alice: “don’t be angry. But there are good cats, for example, our cat Dinah. She is very clever and beautiful. And she likes to catch mice… Oh, I beg your pardon!” cried Alice again. “We won’t talk about Dinah anymore.”

“We indeed![18]” cried the Mouse. “Our family always hated cats: nasty, low, vulgar animals! Don’t talk about cats again!”

“I won’t!” said Alice. “Do you—do you—like—dogs?” The Mouse did not answer.

“There is such a nice little dog near our house! A little bright-eyed terrier, you know, with oh, such long curly brown hair! It can do everything—and it belongs to a farmer, you know, and he says it’s so useful, it’s worth a hundred pounds! He says it kills all the rats and… oh dear!” cried Alice in a sorrowful tone, “I’m sorry!”

The Mouse was swimming away from her very fast. Alice called softly after it, “Mouse dear! Come back again, and we won’t talk about cats or dogs, if you don’t like them!”

When the Mouse heard this, it turned round and swam slowly back to her: its face was quite pale, and it said in a low voice[19], “Let us get to the shore, and then I’ll tell you my story, and you’ll understand why it is I hate cats and dogs.”

The pool was overcrowded with the birds and animals. Everybody swam to the shore.

Chapter III A Caucus-Race[20] and a Long Tale

The Mouse said, “Sit down, all of you, and listen to me!” They all sat down at once, in a large ring, with the Mouse in the middle.

“Ahem![21]” said the Mouse, “are you all ready? Silence, if you please!”

And it began to talk about William the Conqueror[22].

“Ugh!” said the Lory[23], with a shiver.

“I beg your pardon!” said the Mouse, frowning, but very politely: “Did you speak?”

“Not I!” said the Lory hastily.

“I proceed,” said the Mouse. “Edwin and Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria[24], found it—”

“Found WHAT?” said the Duck.

“Found IT,” the Mouse replied: “of course you know what ‘it’ means.”

“I know what ‘it’ means well enough, when I find a thing,” said the Duck, “it’s generally a frog or a worm. The question is, what did those gentlemen find?”

The Mouse did not notice this question. “How are you, my dear?” it asked Alice.

“I’m wet,” said Alice.

How to get dry? They had a long talk about this, but it was hard to tell what was best.

“I think,” said the Dodo[25], “that the best thing to become dry is a Caucus-race.”

“What is a Caucus-race?” said Alice.

“Oh,” said the Dodo, “the best way to explain it is to do it.”

First it painted a circle, and then everybody began to run. Soon they were quite dry again, and the Dodo said “The race is over!”

The birds and animals began to ask, “But who is the winner?”

Dodo said, “Everybody is a winner, and will have prizes.”

“But who will give the prizes?” they asked.

“She, of course,” said the Dodo, and pointed to Alice with the long claw. And everybody at once crowded round her and cried, “A prize, a prize!”

Alice had no idea what to do, and in despair she put her hand in her pocket, and pulled out a box of comfits, and handed them round as prizes.

“But she must have a prize herself, you know,” said the Mouse.

“Of course,” the Dodo replied very gravely. “What else have you got in your pocket?” he turned to Alice.

“Only a thimble,” said Alice sadly.

“Give it to me,” said the Dodo.

The Dodo solemnly presented the thimble, “Please accept this elegant thimble”; and they all cheered. Alice simply bowed, and took the thimble.

The next thing was to eat the comfits: this caused some noise. It was over at last and they sat down in a ring and begged the Mouse to tell them a tale.

“You promised to tell me your story, you know,” said Alice to the Mouse, “why do you hate cats and dogs,” she added in a whisper.

“It’s a long and a sad tale!” said the Mouse. And it began:

“It is a long tail, certainly,” said Alice, she looked at the Mouse’s tail; “but why do you call it sad?”

“I shall not tell you,” said the Mouse. It got up and walked away.

“Please come back and tell us your tale,” called Alice; and all joined in, “Yes, please do!”

But the Mouse shook its head.

“You are not listening!” said the Mouse to Alice severely. “What are you thinking of? You are always talking nonsense!” and was soon out of sight.

“Oh, where is my Dinah?” said Alice. “Dinah can bring her back.”

“And who is Dinah, if I may ask such a thing?” said one of the birds.

Alice was glad to talk about her pet.

“Dinah is our cat; and it catches mice very fast. Moreover, Dinah catches birds even faster! And it eats them at once!”

These words caused a great stir in the party. The birds rushed off; they were saying, “We must get home, it’s late, it’s time to sleep.”

Everybody went home, and Alice was soon alone. Poor Alice began to cry again, because she felt very lonely. Suddenly she heard some noise.

Chapter IV The Rabbit Sends in a Little Bill

It was the White Rabbit, he was looking anxiously around and muttering to itself “The Duchess! The Duchess! She’ll get my head cut off[28]! Oh my dear paws! Oh my fur and whiskers! Where did I lose them, I wonder?” Alice guessed in a moment that the Rabbit was looking for the fan and the pair of white gloves, but everything changed, and the great hall, with the glass table and the little door, vanished completely.

Very soon the Rabbit noticed Alice, and told her in an angry tone, “Why, Mary Ann[29], what are you doing here? Run home, and bring me a pair of gloves and a fan! Quick, now!”

And Alice was so much afraid that she ran off at once.

“He took me for[30] his housemaid,” she said to herself as she ran. “But it’s better to bring him his fan and gloves—that is, if I can find them.”

As she said this, she came to a neat little house, on the door of which was a bright brass plate with the name “W. RABBIT” upon it. She went in, and hurried upstairs.

“How queer it is!” Alice said to herself. “I am the Rabbit’s servant. I think my next master will be Dinah herself!”

By this time she found her way into a tidy little room with a table by the window, and on it a fan and two or three pairs of tiny white gloves. She took up the fan and a pair of gloves, and noticed a little bottle that stood near the looking-glass. There was no label this time with the words “DRINK ME,” but Alice opened it and put it to her lips.

“Let’s see,” she said to herself, “what this bottle does. I hope it’ll make me large again!”

It did so indeed, and soon her head was near the ceiling. She said, “That’s enough.”

Alas! it was too late! She was growing, and growing, and growing. In another minute there was not even room for her, and she put one arm out of the window[31], and one foot up the chimney. Luckily for Alice, the magic stopped, and she grew no more. But she felt unhappy.

“It was much better at home,” thought poor Alice, “when I wasn’t always growing larger and smaller, when mice and rabbits did not order me. Why did I crawl into that rabbit-hole?”

After a few minutes she heard a voice outside.

“Mary Ann! Mary Ann!” said the voice. “Bring me my gloves!”

Alice knew it was the Rabbit, and she trembled. The Rabbit came up to the door, and tried to open it; but the door opened inwards, and Alice’s elbow was pressed hard against it.

The Rabbit said to itself “Then I’ll go round and get in at the window[32].”

“You won’t” thought Alice, and she suddenly spread out her hand. She heard a little shriek and a crash of broken glass. Next came an angry voice—the Rabbit’s—“Pat[33]! Pat! Where are you?”

And another voice, “I’m here!”

“Now tell me, Pat, what’s that in the window?”

“It’s an arm, your honour!”

“An arm, you fool! So big! It fills the whole window!”

“Sure, it does, your honour: but it’s an arm.”

“Well, go and take it away!”

There was a long silence after this, and Alice could only hear whispers; such as, “I don’t like it, your honour, at all, at all!”

“Do as I tell you, you coward! We must burn the house down!” said the Rabbit’s voice; and Alice shouted as loud as she could, “If you do this, I’ll call Dinah!”

There was a dead silence instantly, and Alice thought to herself, “What will they do next?”

After a minute or two, a shower of little pebbles came in at the window, and some of them hit her in the face. Alice noticed with some surprise that the pebbles were all turning into little cakes, and a bright idea came into her head.

“If I eat one of these cakes,” she thought, “it’ll make some change in my size; it can make me smaller, I suppose.”

So she swallowed one of the cakes, and she became smaller. Soon she was small enough to get through the door. She ran out of the house, and found a crowd of little animals and birds outside. Alice ran away. She was running and running, and finally she saw a large mushroom near her, about the same height as herself. Her eyes immediately met a large caterpillar, that was sitting on the top, quietly smoking a hookah[34].

Chapter V Advice from a Caterpillar

The Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for some time in silence: at last the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth, and addressed her in a sleepy voice.

“Who are you?” said the Caterpillar.

Alice replied, rather shyly, “I—I hardly know, sir, just at present—at least I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I changed several times.”

“What do you mean by that?” said the Caterpillar sternly. “Explain!”

“I can’t, I’m afraid,” said Alice very politely. “I—”

“You!” said the Caterpillar contemptuously. “Who are YOU?”

It brought them back again to the beginning of the conversation.

Alice thought that the Caterpillar was in a very unpleasant state of mind[35], and she turned away.

“Come back!” the Caterpillar demanded. “I want to tell you something important!”

Alice turned and came back again.

“Keep your temper[36],” said the Caterpillar.

“Is that all?” asked Alice.

“No,” said the Caterpillar.

Alice was waiting.

“So you think you changed, do you?” said the Caterpillar.

“I’m afraid I am,” said Alice; “I can’t remember some things.”

“What things can’t you remember?” asked the Caterpillar.

“Some verses, for example,” Alice replied in a very melancholy voice.

“Repeat, ‘You Are Old, Father William[37],’” said the Caterpillar.

Alice folded her hands, and began to recite the poem:

“That is wrong,” said the Caterpillar.

“Maybe, not quite right, I’m afraid,” said Alice, timidly.

“It is wrong from beginning to end,” said the Caterpillar decidedly, and there was silence for some minutes.

“What size do you want to be?” asked the Caterpillar.

“You know—” Alice began.

“I DON’T know,” said the Caterpillar.

Alice said nothing; she felt that she was losing her temper[38].

“Are you content now?” said the Caterpillar.

“Well, I want to be a little larger,” said Alice: “three inches is such a wretched height to be.”

“It is a very good height indeed!” said the Caterpillar angrily (it was exactly three inches high); and it put the hookah into its mouth and began to smoke again.

This time Alice waited patiently until the Caterpillar spoke again. In a minute or two the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth and yawned once or twice. Then it got down off the mushroom[39], and crawled away in the grass. And it remarked, “One side will make you grow taller, and the other side will make you grow shorter.”

“One side of what? The other side of what?” thought Alice to herself.

“Of the mushroom,” said the Caterpillar.

The mushroom was perfectly round, so Alice found this a very difficult question. However, at last she decided to eat a bit of the mushroom. The next moment her chin hit her foot!

She was frightened by this change; so she ate some of the other bit. Finally, she was near the right size. She went forward and saw a little house about four feet high. She ate a bit of the mushroom again and became nine inches high.

“This is the right size to enter the house,” said Alice

Chapter VI Pig and Pepper

For a minute or two she stood near the house. She was wondering what to do next, when suddenly a servant—a fish—came out of the wood and knocked loudly at the door. Another servant with a round face, and large eyes like a frog opened the door.

The Fish-Servant said, in a solemn tone, “For the Duchess. An invitation from the Queen to play croquet.”

The Frog-Servant repeated, in the same solemn tone, “From the Queen. An invitation for the Duchess to play croquet.”

Then the Fish-Servant ran away. Alice went timidly up to the door, and knocked.

“Why do you knock?” asked the Frog, “I’m on the same side of the door as you are. And they’re making such a noise inside, no one can possibly hear you.”

And certainly there was a most extraordinary noise within.

“Please, then,” said Alice, “how to get in?”

“Are you sure you want to get in?” said the Frog. “That’s the first question, you know.”

“It’s really dreadful,” Alice muttered to herself, “they like to argue, these animals!”

The Frog said, “I shall sit here, for days and days.”

“But what am I to do?” said Alice.

“Anything you like,” said the Servant, and began to whistle.

“Oh, he’s idiotic!” said Alice desperately. And she opened the door and went in.

The door led right into a large kitchen, which was full of smoke from one end to the other. The Duchess was sitting on a three-legged stool in the middle, she was nursing a baby. The cook was leaning over the fire, there was a large cauldron full of soup.

“There’s certainly too much pepper in that soup!” Alice said to herself, and began to sneeze.

Even the Duchess sneezed occasionally; and the baby was sneezing and howling all the time. Only the cook and a large cat did not sneeze. The cat was sitting on the hearth and grinning from ear to ear[40].

“Please can you tell me,” said Alice timidly, “why does your cat grin?”

“It’s a Cheshire cat[41],” said the Duchess, “and that’s why. Pig!”

She said the last word with such sudden violence that Alice jumped. But she saw in another moment that it was addressed to the baby, and not to her. So she took courage, and went on again:

“I didn’t know that Cheshire cats always grinned; in fact, I didn’t know that cats could grin.”

“They all can,” said the Duchess, “and most of them do.”

“I don’t know anything about it,” Alice said very politely.

“You don’t know much,” said the Duchess; “and that’s a fact.”

Alice did not like the tone of this remark. Meanwhile the cook took the cauldron of soup off the fire, and began to throw everything at the Duchess and the baby—saucepans, plates, and dishes.

“Oh, please, don’t do it!” cried Alice in terror. “Oh, his precious nose!”

“Mind your own business[42],” the Duchess said in a hoarse growl. “Oh, don’t bother me! Here! You may nurse it a bit, if you like!” the Duchess said to Alice, and threw the baby at her. “I must go and get ready to play croquet with the Queen,” and she hurried out of the room. The cook threw a frying-pan after her as she went out.

Alice caught the baby with some difficulty. She carried it out into the open air.

“If I don’t take this child away with me,” thought Alice, “they will kill it in a day or two: it is murder to leave it there.”

She said the last words out loud, and the baby grunted in reply.

“Don’t grunt,” said Alice, “that’s impolite.”

The baby grunted again, and Alice looked very anxiously into its face. The baby sobbed (or grunted, it was impossible to say which), and they went on in silence.

“Now, what shall I do with the baby when I get it home?” said Alice when it grunted again. She looked down into its face. No mistake about it: it was a pig, and it was quite absurd for her to carry it further.

So she set the little pig down, and it trotted away quietly into the wood.

“It is a dreadfully ugly child,” she said to herself, “but it is a handsome pig, I think.”

And she began to remember the children she knew, who might be good pigs.

“But how to change them?”

Suddenly she saw the Cheshire Cat. The Cat was sitting on a bough of a tree. The Cat grinned when it saw Alice. It looked good-natured, she thought: but it had very long claws and many teeth.

“Cheshire Cat,” she began, rather timidly, and the Cat only grinned a little wider. “Can you tell me, please, where to go?”

“That depends on where you want to go,” said the Cat.

“I don’t care where,” said Alice.

“Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,” said the Cat.

“I want to get somewhere,” Alice added as an explanation.

“Oh, you will do that,” said the Cat, “if you only walk long enough.”

Alice tried another question[43].

“What people live here?”

“In this direction,” the Cat said, “lives a Hatter[44]: and in that direction, lives a March Hare[45]. Visit them: they’re both mad.”

“But I don’t want to see mad people,” Alice remarked.

“Oh, we’re all mad here,” said the Cat. “I’m mad. You’re mad.”

“How do you know I’m mad?” said Alice.

“You must be,” said the Cat, “you are here.”

“And how do you know that you’re mad?” she went on.

“A dog is not mad,” said the Cat, “Do you believe that?”

“I suppose so,” said Alice.

“Well, then,” the Cat went on, “you see, a dog growls when it’s angry, and wags its tail when it’s pleased. Now I growl when I’m pleased, and wag my tail when I’m angry. Therefore I’m mad. Do you play croquet with the Queen today?”

“With pleasure,” said Alice, “but I do not have an invitation.”

“You’ll see me there,” said the Cat, and vanished.

Alice was not much surprised at this. While she was looking at the place where the cat was, it suddenly appeared again.

“And what became of the baby?” said the Cat. “I forgot to ask.”

“It turned into a pig,” Alice quietly said.

“Of course,” said the Cat, and vanished again.

Alice waited a little, but the Cat did not appear, and after a minute or two she walked on in the direction in which the March Hare lived.

“I saw hatters,” she said to herself; “the March Hare is more interesting.”

As she said this, she looked up, and there was the Cat again. It was sitting on a branch of a tree.

“Did you say pig, or fig?” said the Cat.

“I said pig,” replied Alice; “can you appear and vanish not so fast, please?”

“All right,” said the Cat; and this time it vanished quite slowly. It began with the end of the tail, and ended with the grin. Its grin remained some time.

“Well! I saw a cat without a grin,” thought Alice; “but a grin without a cat! How curious!”

She went farther and she saw the house of the March Hare. The chimneys were like ears and the roof was thatched with fur. It was a large house, and she ate a bit of the mushroom, and raised herself to about two feet high.

Chapter VII A Mad Tea-Party[46]

There was a table under a tree in front of the house, and the March Hare and the Hatter were having tea: a Dormouse[47] was sitting between them, fast asleep. The March Hare and the Hatter were using it as a cushion. They were resting their elbows on it, and talking over its head.

“Very uncomfortable for the Dormouse,” thought Alice; “but it’s asleep, so, I suppose it doesn’t mind[48].”

The table was large, but they were sitting together at one corner of it: “No room! No room!” they cried out when they saw Alice.

“There’s plenty of room!” said Alice indignantly, and she sat down in a large arm-chair at one end of the table.

“Have some wine,” the March Hare said.

Alice looked all round the table, but there was nothing on it but tea.

“I don’t see any wine,” she remarked.

“There isn’t any,” said the March Hare.

“Why do you offer? It isn’t very polite of you,” said Alice angrily.

“It isn’t very polite of you to sit down here: nobody invited you,” said the March Hare.

“I didn’t know it was your table,” said Alice; “there are many cups on it.”

The Hatter opened his eyes very wide and said, “Why is a raven like a writing-desk[49]?”

“I believe I can guess that!” said Alice aloud.

“Do you mean that you think you can answer?” said the March Hare.

“Exactly so,” said Alice.

“Then you must say what you mean,” the March Hare went on.

“I do,” Alice hastily replied; “at least—at least I mean what I say—that’s the same thing, you know.”

“Not the same thing at all!” said the Hatter. “You can say ‘I see what I eat’ is the same thing as ‘I eat what I see’!”

“You can say,” added the March Hare, “that ‘I like what I get’ is the same thing as ‘I get what I like’!”

“You can say,” added the Dormouse in its sleep, “that ‘I breathe when I sleep’ is the same thing as ‘I sleep when I breathe’!”

“It is the same thing to you,” said the Hatter, and here the conversation dropped, and they sat silent for a minute.

“What day of the month is it?” the Hatter asked. He took his watch out of his pocket. He was looking at it, shaking it and holding it to his ear.

Alice considered a little, and then said “The fourth.”

“Two days wrong!” sighed the Hatter. “Listen to me: you must not use the butter!” he looked angrily at the March Hare.

“It was the best butter,” the March Hare meekly replied.

“Yes, but there were some crumbs,” the Hatter grumbled: “you used the bread-knife.”

The March Hare took the watch and looked at it gloomily: then he dipped it into his cup of tea, and looked at it again.

“It was the best butter, you know,” he said again.

Alice looked over his shoulder with some curiosity.

“What a funny watch!” she remarked. “It tells the day of the month, and doesn’t tell the time!”

“Why?” muttered the Hatter. “Does your watch tell you what year it is?”

“Of course not,” Alice replied very readily: “but that’s because my year is very long.”

“But my year is also long,” said the Hatter.

“I don’t quite understand you,” Alice said.

“The Dormouse is sleeping again,” said the Hatter, and he poured a little hot tea upon its nose.

The Dormouse shook its head, and said, “Of course, of course; it’s just what I was going to say.”

“What about the riddle?” asked the Hatter.

“I can’t guess,” Alice replied: “what’s the answer?”

“No idea,” said the Hatter.

“Nor I,” said the March Hare.

“What’s the time?” asked Alice.

“It’s always six o’clock now,” the Hatter answered. “It’s always tea-time, and we have no time to wash the dishes.”

“Then you move round, I suppose?” said Alice.

“Exactly so,” said the Hatter.

“But what happens when you come to the beginning again?” Alice asked.

“Let’s change the subject,” the March Hare interrupted. “The young lady will tell us a story, right?”

“I’m afraid I don’t know one,” said Alice.

“Then the Dormouse will tell us something,” cried the Hatter and the March Hare. “Wake up, Dormouse!”

And they pinched it on both sides at once.

The Dormouse slowly opened his eyes.

“I wasn’t asleep,” it said in a hoarse, feeble voice: “I heard every word.”

“Tell us a story!” said the March Hare.

“Yes, please do!” pleaded Alice.

“And be quick,” added the Hatter.

“Once upon a time there were three little sisters,” the Dormouse began in a great hurry; “and their names were Elsie, Lacie, and Tillie[50]; and they lived at the bottom of a well…”

“What did they eat or drink?” asked Alice.

“They drank treacle,” said the Dormouse.

“They couldn’t do that, you know,” Alice gently remarked; “Were they ill?”

“Yes, they were,” said the Dormouse; “very ill.”

Alice went on: “But why did they live at the bottom of a well?”

“Take some more tea,” the March Hare said to Alice.

“I did not drink anything,” Alice replied, “so I can’t take more.”

“You mean you can’t take LESS,” said the Hatter: “it’s very easy to take MORE than nothing.”

“Nobody asked your opinion,” said Alice.

Alice took some tea and a bread-and-butter, and then turned to the Dormouse, and repeated her question. “Why did they live at the bottom of a well?”

The Dormouse said, “It was a treacle-well.”

“It’s impossible!” Alice was very angry, but the Hatter and the March Hare went “Sh! sh!” and the Dormouse sulkily remarked, “If you can’t be civil, finish the story for yourself.”

“No, please go on!” Alice said very humbly; “I won’t interrupt again.”

“And so these three little sisters—they were learning to draw[51], you know,” said the Dormouse.

“What did they draw?” said Alice. She forgot her promise.

“Treacle,” said the Dormouse.

“I want a clean cup,” interrupted the Hatter: “let’s all move.”

He moved on, and the Dormouse followed him: the March Hare moved into the Dormouse’s place, and Alice took the place of the March Hare.

Alice did not wish to offend the Dormouse again, so she began very cautiously:

“But I don’t understand. Where did they draw the treacle from?”

“You can draw water out of a water-well,” said the Hatter; “so I think you can draw treacle out of a treacle-well, eh, stupid?”

“But they were IN the well,” Alice said to the Dormouse.

“Of course they were”, said the Dormouse; “they were learning to draw, and they drew everything that begins with an M.”

“Why with an M?” said Alice.

“Why not?” said the March Hare.

Alice was silent.

The Dormouse had closed its eyes by this time. The Hatter pinched it, it woke up again with a little shriek, and went on: “that begins with an M, such as mouse-traps, and the moon, and memory, and muchness[52]—did you see muchness?”

“Muchness?” said Alice, very much confused, “I don’t think—”

“Then don’t talk,” said the Hatter.

Alice got up and walked off; the Dormouse fell asleep instantly, and nobody called after the girl. They were trying to put the Dormouse into the teapot.

“I’ll never go there again!” said Alice. “It’s the stupidest tea-party in the world!”

Just as she said this, she noticed that one of the trees had a door.

“That’s very curious!” she thought. “But everything’s curious today. I think I may go in.”

And in she went.

Once more she found herself[53] in the long hall, and close to the little glass table. She took the little golden key, and unlocked the door that led into the garden. She walked down the little passage, and then she found herself in the beautiful garden, among the bright flowers and the cool fountains.

Chapter VIII The Queen’s Croquet-Ground

A large rose-tree stood near the entrance of the garden: the roses growing on it were white, but there were three gardeners at it. They were painting them red. Alice thought this a very curious thing, and she went nearer to watch them, and when she came up to them she heard the voice, “Look out now[54], Five! Don’t splash the paint over me!’

“That’s not my fault,” said Five, in a sulky tone; “Seven jogged my elbow.”

Seven looked up and said, “That’s not right, Five!”

“Do not talk!” said Five. “Queen said yesterday you deserved to be beheaded!”

“What for?”

“That’s none of your business[55], Two!” said Seven.

“Yes, it is his business!” said Five, “and I’ll tell him—he brought the cook tulip-roots[56]instead of onions.”

Seven noticed Alice. The others looked round also, and all of them bowed low[57].

“Can you tell me,” said Alice, a little timidly, “why you are painting those roses?”

Five and Seven said nothing, but looked at Two. Two began in a low voice, “The fact is, you see, Miss, the Queen ordered to plant a red rose-tree, and we planted a white tree by mistake. If the Queen sees it, our heads will be cut off[58], you know. So you see, Miss—”

At this moment Five called out “The Queen! The Queen!” There was a sound of many footsteps, and Alice looked round, she wanted to see the Queen.

First came ten soldiers with clubs[59]; these were all like the three gardeners, oblong and flat, with their hands and feet at the corners. Next came the ten courtiers[60] with diamonds. After these came the royal children; there were ten of them. Next came the guests, Kings and Queens, and among them Alice recognised the White Rabbit. Then followed the Knave of Hearts[61], he was carrying the King’s crown on a crimson velvet cushion; and, last of all this grand procession, came The King and Queen Of Hearts[62].

Alice stood where she was and waited.

When the procession came opposite to Alice, they all stopped and looked at her, and the Queen said severely “Who is this?” She said it to the Knave of Hearts, who only bowed and smiled in reply.

“Idiot!” said the Queen; and she turned to Alice, “What’s your name, child?”

“My name is Alice, your Majesty,” said Alice very politely; but she added, to herself, “They’re only a pack of cards. No need to be afraid of them!”

“And who are these?” the Queen pointed to the three gardeners.

“How could I know?” said Alice. “It’s not my business.”

The Queen turned crimson with fury, and screamed “Off with her head[63]! Off!”

“Nonsense!” said Alice, very loudly and decidedly, and the Queen was silent.

The King laid his hand upon her arm, and timidly said “My dear: she is only a child!”

The Queen turned angrily. Then she turned to the rose-tree, and asked, “What were you doing here?”

“Your Majesty,” said Two, in a very humble tone, “we were trying—”

“I see!” said the Queen, who was looking at the roses. “Off with their heads!”

And the procession moved on, three of the soldiers went to the unfortunate gardeners, who ran to Alice for protection.

“I shall save you!” said Alice, and she put them into a large flower-pot that stood near. Three soldiers wandered about for a minute or two, and then quietly marched away.

“What about their heads?” shouted the Queen.

“Their heads are gone, your Majesty!” the soldiers shouted in reply.

“That’s right!” shouted the Queen. “Can you play croquet?”

The soldiers were silent, and looked at Alice.

“Yes!” shouted Alice.

“Come on, then!” roared the Queen, and Alice joined the procession.

“It’s—It’s a very fine day!” said a timid voice. It was the White Rabbit, who was peeping anxiously into her face.

“Very,” said Alice, “where’s the Duchess?”

“Hush! Hush!” said the Rabbit in a low, hurried tone. He put his mouth close to her ear and whispered “She’s under sentence of execution[64].”

“What for?” said Alice.

“Did you say ‘What a pity!’?” the Rabbit asked.

“No, I didn’t,” said Alice: “I don’t think it’s a pity. I said ‘What for?’”

“She boxed the Queen’s ears[65],” the Rabbit began. Alice laughed.

“Oh, hush!” the Rabbit whispered in a frightened tone. “The Queen will hear you! You see, she came late, and the Queen said—”

“Get to your places!” shouted the Queen in a voice of thunder. It was a very curious croquet-ground! It was all ridges and furrows[66]; the balls were hedgehogs, the mallets were flamingoes, and the soldiers were the arches.

The players all played at once, nobody was waiting for his turn. They were quarrelling all the while, and fighting for the hedgehogs. The Queen was furious and shouting “Off with his head!” or “Off with her head!” once in a minute.

Alice noticed a curious appearance in the air. It was a grin, and Alice said to herself “It’s the Cheshire Cat: now I have somebody to talk to.”

“How are you getting on[67]?” said the Cat, when its mouth appeared.

“I don’t think they play croquet,” Alice began, “and they all quarrel so dreadfully!”

“How do you like the Queen?” said the Cat in a low voice.

“Not at all,” said Alice: “she’s a—”

Just then she noticed that the Queen was near. The Queen was listening. So Alice went on, “—a very good player, I think I can’t win.”

The Queen smiled.

“Who are you talking to?” said the King. He was looking at the Cat’s head with great curiosity.

“It’s my friend—a Cheshire Cat,” said Alice, “let me introduce it.”

“I don’t like it at all,” said the King, “however, it may kiss my hand if it likes.”

“I do not want it,” the Cat remarked.

“Don’t be impertinent,” said the King, “and don’t look at me like that!”

“A cat may look at a king,” said Alice. “I read that in some book, but I don’t remember where.”

“Well, I want to remove it,” said the King very decidedly, and he called the Queen, “My dear! Please remove this cat!”

The Queen had only one answer.

“Off with his head!” she said.

“Very well,” said the King eagerly.

Alice watched the game. Three of the players were executed, and she did not like it at all. When she looked at the Cheshire Cat, she was very surprised. A large crowd collected round it. There was a dispute between the executioner, the King, and the Queen.

The executioner said that it impossible to cut off a cat’s head, because it did not have a body. The King said that every head can be cut off. The Queen said that the best decision was to cut off all their heads.

Alice said, “The Cat belongs to the Duchess: let us ask her about it.”

“She’s in prison,” the Queen said to the executioner: “fetch her here.”

And the executioner went away like an arrow.

The Cat’s head began to fade away. Soon it entirely disappeared. So everybody went back to the game.

Chapter IX The Mock Turtle’s[68] Story

“You can’t think how glad I am to see you again, my dear!” said the Duchess to Alice, and they walked together.

Alice was very glad to find her in such a pleasant temper, and thought to herself that perhaps it was only the pepper that made her so angry.

“When I am a Duchess,” she said to herself, “I won’t have any pepper in my kitchen at all. Maybe it’s always pepper that makes people hot-tempered,” she went on, “and vinegar that makes them sour—and camomile that makes them bitter—and—and barley-sugar that makes children sweet-tempered—”

“You’re thinking about something, my dear,”—said the Duchess, “and you forget to talk. I can’t tell you now what the moral of that is.”

“Perhaps there is no moral at all,” Alice remarked.

“What?” said the Duchess. “Everything has got a moral, if only you can find it.”

And she went closer to Alice’s side as she spoke.

Alice did not like it very much, because the Duchess was very ugly; and because she had a very sharp chin. However, Alice did not like to be rude.

“The game’s going on,” she said to keep up the conversation[69] a little.

“Exactly,” said the Duchess: “and the moral of that is ‘Oh, it’s love, it’s love, that makes the world go round[70]!’”

“Somebody says,” Alice whispered, “that it’s necessary to mind his own business!”

“Ah, well! It means the same thing,” said the Duchess, “and the moral of that is ‘Take care of the sense[71]!’”

“Oh, she likes to find morals in everything!” Alice thought to herself.

“I’m not sure about the temper of your flamingo. Does it bite?”

“It may bite,” Alice cautiously replied.

“Very true,” said the Duchess: “flamingoes and mustard both bite. And the moral of that is “Birds of a feather flock together[72].”’

“Only mustard isn’t a bird,” Alice remarked.

“Right, as usual,” said the Duchess, “what a clear mind!”

“It’s a mineral, I think,” said Alice.

“Of course it is,” said the Duchess, who was ready to agree to everything that Alice said.

“Oh, I know!” exclaimed Alice, “it’s a vegetable. It doesn’t look like one, but it is.”

“I quite agree with you,” said the Duchess; “and the moral of that is ‘Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than you are otherwise.’”

“I think I must understand that better,” Alice said very politely, “if I write that down.”

“Thinking again?” the Duchess asked, with the dig of her sharp little chin.

“I’ve a right to think,” said Alice sharply.

“You know, my dear,” said the Duchess, “the moral of this is—”

But here, to Alice’s great surprise, the Duchess’s arm began to tremble. Alice looked up, and there stood the Queen in front of them.

“A fine day, your Majesty!” the Duchess began in a low, weak voice.

“Now, I warn you,” shouted the Queen; “either you or your head must be off! Take your choice[73]!”

The Duchess took her choice, and went away in a moment.

“Let’s continue our game,” the Queen said to Alice; and Alice followed to the croquet-ground.

The other guests were resting in the shade: however, the moment they saw her, they hurried back to the game. The Queen merely remarked: “A moment’s delay costs you your lives.”

All the time they were playing the Queen was quarrelling with the other players, and shouting “Off with his head!” or “Off with her head!” All the players, except the King, the Queen, and Alice, were in custody and under sentence of execution.

Then the Queen stopped the game, and said to Alice, “Did you see the Mock Turtle?”

“No,” said Alice. “I don’t even know what a Mock Turtle is. I never saw one, or heard of one.”

“Come on, then,” said the Queen, “and it shall tell you its history.”

As they walked off together, the King said in a low voice, to the guests, “You are all pardoned.”

“Oh, that’s a good thing!” Alice said to herself.

Very soon they met a Gryphon[74], it was sleeping in the sun.

“Get up, you idler!” said the Queen, “and take this young lady to the Mock Turtle. I must go back”; and she walked off.

The Queen left Alice alone with the Gryphon. Alice did not like the look of the creature, but it seemed as safe to stay with it as to go after that savage Queen; so she waited.

The Gryphon sat up and rubbed its eyes, then it chuckled.

“What fun!” said the Gryphon, half to itself, half to Alice.

“What is the fun?” said Alice.

“She,” said the Gryphon. “It’s a fake, you know, they never execute anybody. Come on!”

“Everybody says “come on!” here,” thought Alice, as she went slowly after the Gryphon.

Soon they saw the Mock Turtle. It was sitting sad and lonely on a little ledge of rock, and sighing.

“What is his sorrow?” Alice asked the Gryphon, and the Gryphon answered, “It’s a fake, you know, it has no sorrow. Come on!”

So they went up to the Mock Turtle. It looked at them with large eyes full of tears, but said nothing.

“This is a young lady,” said the Gryphon, “she wants to know your history.”

“I’ll tell it her,” said the Mock Turtle in a deep, hollow tone: “sit down, both of you, and don’t speak a word. I’ll tell a story.”

So they sat down, and nobody spoke for some minutes. Alice waited patiently.

“Once,” said the Mock Turtle at last, with a deep sigh, “I was a real Turtle.”

Next was a very long silence. The Mock Turtle was only sobbing. Alice was going to get up and say, “Thank you for your interesting story,” but she sat still and said nothing.

“When we were little,” the Mock Turtle went on at last, more calmly, “we went to school in the sea. The master was an old Turtle—we called him Tortoise—”

“Why did you call him Tortoise, if he wasn’t one?” Alice asked.

“We called him Tortoise because he taught us,” said the Mock Turtle angrily, “and really you are very silly!”

“Yes, don’t ask such simple questions,” added the Gryphon; and then they both sat silent and looked at poor Alice. At last the Gryphon said to the Mock Turtle, “Go on, old fellow!”

And the Mock Turtle went on in these words:

“Yes, we went to school in the sea, though you don’t believe it—”

“Why? I didn’t say that!” interrupted Alice.

“You did,” said the Mock Turtle.

“Hold your tongue[75]!” added the Gryphon.

The Mock Turtle went on.

“We had the best educations— in fact, we went to school every day—”

“So what?” asked Alice; “I go to school everyday, too. Why are you so proud?”

“With extras[76]?” asked the Mock Turtle a little anxiously.

“Yes,” said Alice, “we learned French and music.”

“And washing?” said the Mock Turtle.

“Certainly not!” said Alice indignantly.

“Ah! then your school isn’t a really good school,” said the Mock Turtle in a tone of great relief. We had washing—extra.”

“What for?” asked Alice; “You were living at the bottom of the sea.”

“Yes, I was,” said the Mock Turtle with a sigh. “I only took the regular course[77].”

“What was that?” inquired Alice.

“Reeling and Writhing[78]. Different branches of Arithmetic,” the Mock Turtle replied; “Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, and Derision[79].”

“I never heard of ‘Uglification,’” Alice said. “What is it?”

The Gryphon was surprised.

“What! Never heard of that!” it exclaimed. “You know what ‘to beautify’ is, I suppose?”

“Yes,” said Alice doubtfully: “it means ‘to make something prettier.’”

“Well, then,” the Gryphon went on, “if you don’t know what to uglify[80] is, you are just foolish.”

Alice turned to the Mock Turtle, and said “What else did you learn?”

“Well, there was Mystery,” the Mock Turtle replied, “Mystery,[81] ancient and modern, with Seaography: then Drawling, Stretching[82], and Fainting in Coils.”

“What was that like?” said Alice.

“Well, I can’t show it you myself,” the Mock Turtle said: “I’m too old for that. And the Gryphon never learnt it.”

“I had no time,” said the Gryphon: “I went to the Classics master, though. He was an old crab