Ante Mortem

BEAUTY RITUAL John Grover

It was after 2 AM. when the chill slithered into Chad’s bedroom and woke him out of a dead sleep. Gooseflesh broke out over his arms and chest as he sat up in bed, his eyes adjusting to the inky darkness.

Chad’s gaze searched the clutter of his room. Something wasn’t right. Simple cold shouldn’t have woken him, especially after all the mixed drinks he’d downed at the Paradise club that night. He turned to the window behind him. The streetlight outside illuminated the glass in amber, revealing a layer of glittering frost.

Frost? In June?

He was almost out of bed when the tap on the wall stopped him. Chad forgot the window as the tap grew louder. His bed was pushed up against the wall, insuring he would never wake up on the wrong side, or so he liked to think.

The strange thing was his apartment was a corner unit and there was no one on the other side of that wall, nothing but the outside of course.

Chad placed his ear to the wall, listening attentively. A smirk formed on his lips as he figured he was probably just suffering from the effects of a hangover that would undoubtedly render him useless when the sun came up.

Suddenly, the wall shook violently. Chad fell back, stunned, his mouth agape. A fissure formed, shooting right down the length of the wall, splintering like a spider web. Debris shot over the bed and Chad leapt to the floor.

A roar pealed through the room as the wall crumbled, and a creature hurled itself to the floor in a giant ball. It rose slowly to a towering height, its body covered in razor-sharp quills.

Azure eyes pierced the gloom and focused on the terrified Chad, who refused to believe what he was seeing. A scream died in his throat, but his legs sprang into action and he dashed for the bedroom door.

The creature howled and he could see it writhing out of the corner of his eye. Intense pain washed over his back and he fell to the floor, his skin ripe with the quills that lanced his back and buttocks like acupuncture needles.

To his horror, Chad realized he couldn’t move as a poison pumped into his flesh. The pain diminished as his entire body went numb.

He heard the creature scale the nearest wall, then drop to the floor beside him with a thud. It turned the helpless Chad over with spindly claws, leaned its grotesque face into him, and thrust a blunt, wet snout towards him. In the meager light, he could see a lipless mouth open, revealing massive tusks and rows of tiny teeth covered in black foam. The creature took hold of his shoulders and climbed atop him.

Unable to move, Chad watched as hundreds of teeth sank into his chest. Not a sound escaped him, but inside he prayed for death and shut his eyes as the beast ate him alive.

Daniel’s eyes popped open and he reached for Jeremy’s side of the bed. “Jeremy?” Where’s he gone to now? He rose from the bed and stepped into the small bathroom just outside the door. After relieving himself, he downed a glass of water and headed down the stairs.

The dining room and kitchen were dark, so Daniel strolled through the living room and stepped into the narrow back hallway. A single door to his right was closed. It was never closed. The room behind it was a small, oddly shaped room that Jeremy used as an office. A lot of these old two or three story houses had whacky little rooms that could barely serve a purpose.

Dim light flickered under the door and Daniel heard a groan on the other side. “Jeremy?” he called, thinking his boyfriend was in some sort of distress until he heard a giggle.

He pushed the door open in time to see Jeremy extinguish a candle and close the glossy cover of a rather large book. “Jeremy, is everything alright?” The faint scent of sulfur wafted past his nostrils.

“Everything’s good, Danny.” Jeremy turned and smiled. He held out his arms and Daniel went willingly into them, the embrace warm and comforting. Over his lover’s shoulder he spotted the book, the title read: Queer Magick. There was a subtitle but Daniel couldn’t make it out.

“Where did you get that book?” Daniel asked with a chuckle. He thought the title was absurd and knew it had to be some kind of joke Jeremy was conjuring up.

“On the internet,” Jeremy replied. “I thought it was very fascinating. I didn’t even know we had our own magic,” he laughed out loud.

Daniel returned his playful mood with his own. “Sounds really hokey to me.”

“Well, it’s just for fun. You know how I like weird and mysterious things.” He tussled Daniel’s hair.

“Cut it out and come back to bed.”

Jeremy ran his fingers down Daniel’s cheeks and stared into his eyes intensely. “You are so beautiful, Danny. I wish I was too.”

“Don’t be silly,” Daniel kissed Jeremy on the cheek. “You are beautiful to me.” He really did believe that. For an older man, Jeremy was in very good shape. So what if his skin was beginning to show signs of aging with a few stress lines? So his chestnut hair had more strands of gray than any gay man he knew. It didn’t matter. He only cared about what was inside, having something real and lasting. That’s why he gave up the scene and the parties to move in with Jeremy six months ago.

“You’re sweet, my love.” Jeremy pulled Daniel to him again and they kissed, deeply. “Okay, let’s go back to bed.”

The morning sun was rejuvenating. Daniel basked in it momentarily before fetching the newspaper off the front stairs and heading back up to their second floor apartment.

He straddled a stool at the kitchen countertop as Jeremy poured himself some coffee, who planted a peck on his cheek before searching for something to eat.

Daniel unfolded the paper and his eyes widened. A flood of emotions rushed through him. His heart fluttered. “Oh my God…” the words tumbled out of him.

“What, sweetie,” Jeremy stopped what he was doing and turned to Daniel. “Danny, what is it?”

“It’s your ex… Chad, he’s… he’s been murdered.”

“Good riddance I say.”

Daniel’s heart dropped, shock nearly crippling him. The newspaper slipped from his hands and for a moment he stared speechless at Jeremy. “How can you say that? Chad was one of my best friends. We were so close before I started dating you. For God sakes he introduced us.”

Jeremy slammed the refrigerator shut. “You have no idea how hurtful he was to me. How he treated me. He told me I was ugly. He left me because he didn’t find me attractive anymore. How do you think that made me feel?”

“I know he hurt you, babe, but Chad wasn’t a horrible person. He didn’t deserve this. No one does.” Daniel’s bottom lip trembled as he finished the sentence.

An awkward silence swallowed the room until Daniel felt his lover’s hands ease gently around his shoulders. “You’re right,” Jeremy whispered in his ear. “That was a bit cold. Sorry, sweetie.”

“It’s okay.” He glanced up at Jeremy noticing how deep the bags under his eyes suddenly appeared. It’s like I don’t know him sometimes.

“I’m going to eat out for breakfast,” Jeremy said. “And do our food shopping. I’ll catch up with you later.” He tussled Daniel’s hair and headed for the front door.

Daniel got up and shuffled over to the living room window. He watched Jeremy get into his car and check his face in the rear view mirror, running his hands over his cheeks again and again as if he was trying to smooth the skin. He ran his hands through his hair a few times then started the car.

What is he doing? A chill slithered up Daniel’s spine despite the growing humidity. A creak caught his attention and he turned to see the office door slightly ajar.

Daniel took the orange line subway to Chad’s neighborhood, where rows of brownstones loomed over him like ruined castles. They all looked the same, silently guarding their secrets. He stopped in front of Chad’s building and took a deep breath before entering.

“I’m not supposed to be doing this,” the elderly landlady said. “The police told me not to let anyone in but I know you and he were so close. Chad adored you. The two of you were inseparable. How could I not let you have one last moment here?”

“I really appreciate this Mrs. Bennington. You don’t know how much this means to me.”

The landlady unlocked the door to Chad’s apartment. Daniel ducked under the yellow crime scene tape and slipped into the room, but as soon as he was in the apartment he wanted to leave. An overwhelming feeling of dread filled him.

Everything looked in its place. Daniel could find no signs of a break-in or violence of any kind. He moved his way to the bedroom and immediately saw the remains of the crime scene. They’d done their best to clean up all the blood but the faded image of crimson still marred the hardwood.

He wanted to vomit, but fought the feeling off as he looked around. Everything looked just as he remembered it. He wandered over to Chad’s dresser and stared at pictures, keepsakes, the retro lava lamp and the baseball cap Chad wore every time he went to the local clubs.

Daniel reached down and touched the cap. “Oh Chad…” his eyes welled up and before he knew it, tears stream his cheeks. He recalled all the nights they spent drinking and dancing until dawn. God, if it wasn’t for Chad, Daniel would have never survived his coming out.

He knew he had to go, he couldn’t stay in the apartment any longer; the feelings came like a tidal wave. He turned to leave and spotted something strange behind the bedroom door.

He closed it and set eyes on what looked like three or four porcupine needles. Daniel bent to his knees for a closer look. They were long quills, impaling the wall and doorframe. What the Christ is this? He tried to pull one out but it wouldn’t budge.

Danny…

Chad’s voice called his name and he gasped, jumping to his feet and looking around the room. There was no one there.

Dusk painted the sky in shades of umber and red. Morgan entered his studio apartment overlooking Tremont Street just as the sun died. In his arms he carried a huge bouquet of flowers he’d bought himself at the corner market.

His breath formed frosty puffs in the air. “Damn, did I turn the AC up too high?” He started over to the air conditioner when the flowers wilted in his hands. “What the…?”

A rattling noise caught Morgan’s attention. Behind him the coat closet door shook. “Okay, is this some kind of joke?” He dropped his bouquet to the floor and stomped to the closet, throwing its door open.

Two azure pinpoints glowed in the darkness. A low growl rose and Morgan’s heart slammed against his chest, his pulse raced and his feet froze. A roar reverberated as a cluster of quills shot out of the closet.

They caught Morgan in the face and he stumbled against the wall. Another bunch soared across the room, pinning him in place. The creature lurched from the closet in a fury and the last thing Morgan saw before his world went black were those azure blue eyes.

Daniel reached the top of the stairs, digging out his key for the front door. As he entered the apartment, he saw Jeremy come out of the office in the back hall and run up the stairs to the bedroom.

Daniel eased the door closed and crept into the living room, and through to the back hallway. He noticed the office door was half closed. He peered upstairs—the bathroom light was on, but everything was quiet. He slipped into the office and saw the book on the computer desk across the room. He shivered as he made his way to the desk; the room seemed colder than the rest of the house.

One of the pages in the book was dog-eared so he flipped to it immediately, the section titled The Darg. He read on: Patron of jilted gay men. A creature of vengeance. Champion of the shunned.

Daniel couldn’t believe what he was reading. It was ignorant and superstitious, none of it could possibly be real. The page went on to describe a ritual involving a summoning beside a drawing of the creature, a hulking beast with pale skin and a body covered in quills. Daniel thought back to Chad’s apartment and what he’d found there. He looked over his shoulder at the second floor stairs. God, who am I living with? No! Impossible! None of this can be true. It’s insane. He would never…

There was more at the bottom of the page about driving the creature out. If the beast should see its own—

“Danny, is that you sweetie?” Jeremy called downstairs.

“Yes, I just got in,” Daniel called and slammed the book shut. He left the office and started upstairs.

“How was your day?” Jeremy asked.

“Uneventful.” He stopped in the bathroom doorway to see Jeremy slathering his face and neck with skin cream.

“I know you think this is silly but I need to do this. I’ll just get even uglier than I am already. I’m only four years from fifty.”

“Oh, Jeremy stop. You’re not ugly. No one thinks your ugly.”

“You’re sweet to say that love, but it’s not true. They all said I was ugly. All of them.”

“Who?”

“Everyone that left me. They refused to stay with me. Even now they still talk about me behind my back. Like I’m just a year away from being hideous.”

“Jeremy, I think you’re overreacting.” In the light of the bathroom, Daniel thought his lover’s hair was a little grayer than it had been in the morning.

“That’s easy for a twenty-six year old to say.”

“Yes, a twenty-six year old that chose you, Jeremy. So you can’t be all that ugly.”

Jeremy smiled a slightly crooked smile and took his hand. “That’s why I love you so much, Danny. You’re such a good person. Why don’t you get comfortable on the bed, I’ll be right in.”

“Okay.” Daniel went to the bedroom and turned on TV to lighten the mood. “I’m just gonna find something funny to watch.”

“Sure.”

Moments later Jeremy came in and eased Daniel back, onto the bed. They kissed and caressed each other, Daniel slid his hand over Jeremy’s face and paused. His face felt dry and brittle like parchment paper. Even after all that face cream?

An emergency news report broke out on the TV. “Morgan Westlake of Boston has been found murdered in his studio apartment this evening.”

“What?” Daniel stopped Jeremy’s kisses and locked his gaze onto the TV screen. “Morgan is dead? Didn’t you date him too, Jeremy?”

“We had a few dates, so what?”

“So what? Two of your exes have been murdered. Doesn’t that bother you?”

“No, no it doesn’t.” Jeremy’s face flushed red and his eyes bulged. “They all had it coming!”

Daniel’s heartbeat quickened. A panicked feeling swelled inside him. He started to crawl off the bed when his cell phone rang. He answered it as Jeremy steamed, whose patience was obviously growing thin. “Peter, calm down what is it?”

“Someone’s killing all the gay men in the city. Zach’s dead too.”

“God, not Zach.” Daniel’s terror grew, his throat dry and his palms damp.

“I don’t think it’s safe anywhere, Dan. What are we going to do?”

Daniel eyed Jeremy. Images of the creature floated in Daniel’s mind. Jeremy’s face looked strange, aged somehow. “It’s going to be okay. Do you want me to come over?”

“No you don’t!” Jeremy snatched the phone out of Daniel’s hand and switched it off. “You’re not leaving me like all the others!”

“I’m not leaving you,” Daniel tried to sooth him. “He’s afraid and he’s my friend. I’m just going to check on him. I’ll come back.”

“You’re lying.”

“Jeremy, you’re overreacting.” Daniel edged himself to the door.

“You’re just like the rest of them!” Jeremy screamed. “You think I’m ugly! Don’t leave me Danny, you’ll regret it!”

Daniel bolted for the stairs, nearly tumbling down them.

“Don’t you leave me Danny! I showed them all, the whole goddamn gay community—and I’ll show you too! All of you, you are the ugly ones!”

Daniel managed to get to the street and make it to the subway without Jeremy in pursuit, ending up at Peter’s, who was more than grateful to see him. Safety in numbers Pete always said, ever since he, Chad and Daniel had narrowly escaped a gay bashing years ago.

Daniel kept his domestic issues to himself and slept on Peter’s couch. All he could think of was Jeremy and the look on his face—a face that appeared to come apart at the seams.

Daniel woke, suddenly cold. He opened his eyes and caught a whiff of sulfur in the air. Peter, no! He stumbled from the couch and ran to Peter’s bedroom, but it was too late.

The entire room was saturated in dark crimson. The walls were covered in quills. Peter was still in bed, nothing more than a shell now, his desiccated skin stretching from one side to the other. Daniel hung his head low and wept.

He’s not going to stop. Daniel remembered the book, the picture of the creature and knew there was no more doubt. Something needed to be done. I need to go back and do something. He’ll listen to me and if he won’t…

Their house was ominously silent. Daniel didn’t even need his key, the front door was unlocked. He looked around for signs of Jeremy’s presence, but knew he would only be in one place. He made his way slowly to the office door and pushed it open.

“You kept your word,” Jeremy whispered as he knelt naked in front of a lone candle.

“I had to come back. You’d only send it after me next.”

“They got to you too, my love. Turned you against me. I knew they would. You think I’m ugly now.”

“You were never ugly on the outside, Jeremy. Just on the inside, and I wish I’d seen that before.”

“Oh Danny, you don’t have to worry about me sending the Darg after you. The Darg is right here.”

Daniel watched in mute terror as quills burst out of Jeremy’s flesh. His body stretched and muscles cracked. He turned, his nose forming a flaring, wet snout and his eyes a burning azure blue.

Daniel raced out of the room as quills whistled by his head, striking the wall. He scrambled up the stairs as the beast trailed him. As he hit the bathroom, the book’s words flashed past his consciousness… if the beast should see its own reflection…

Just as the Jeremy-Darg burst into the room, Daniel went for the medicine chest’s mirror but the Darg lunged for him and the two collided against it, shattering it in a deafening clatter.

The creature pulled Daniel up and hurled him into the bedroom. A howl echoed. It crawled to him like a panther and climbed on top of his chest. A prickly tongue oozed out of its mouth and caressed Daniel’s cheek.

Turning away, he spotted a shard of the mirror still in his hand. He drew his blood-soaked palm before the beast’s eyes and a shriek rocked the room.

There was a thundering roar of fear and anger as it fell backwards and clawed the floor in a fit. Daniel watched as all of its quills crumbled and the creature soared out of Jeremy’s body, leaving him prone on the floor.

Daniel edged his way over and was aghast to see a now gaunt and shriveled man, his skin wrinkled, and eyes deep sunk. Nearly all of his hair was gone. After all of his fears he had truly become what he feared most. Daniel dropped to his knees and wept, not only for Jeremy but for every gay man who feared growing old.