Antelligent Design

79. Belonging

It takes some time for the itching to pass, as it always does. When I finally regain full control of my body, I pick myself up, dust myself off, clean my antennae, and attempt to move as if nothing had happened.

The soldiers keeping an eye on the room pointedly don’t look at me as I climb the wall and move up into the queen’s chamber. Things continue to operate in here as they always did. A cloud of buzzing workers rush here and there whilst the ever-patient queen stands still and unmoving amidst the chaos.

She’s not evolved.

“I will evolve in good time, child,” the queen remonstrates before I’ve even begun to speak, predicting my question with ease.

“What’s the hold up?” I ask piteously. “Most ants are happy to have the chance to evolve and dive straight in.”

Perhaps I’m being a touch selfish. I’d really wanted to see what shape her evolution would take.

The queen’s eyes are like pools without a single ripple, looking straight at me. “This decision is more important than most, and due to your… gift,” she gestures to the rare core, “I have many options to ponder. I am seeking the correct frame of mind and trying to determine the right path forward, for myself and for the colony.”

Slow and steady wins the race, eh? Not an attitude I was super familiar with, but I can recognise the wisdom in it. She’s right in the sense that for most ants, their evolution doesn’t weigh on the fate of the colony in quite the same way that the queen’s does. She’s the central figure in this family that the rest of the colony turns around, like some sort of caring, soothing hub.

Not to mention she’s the most powerful individual in the colony, with the possible exception of myself. If she’s ready to evolve, with a rare core to boot, just what will she be capable of when she’s finished? What sort of juicy options will she unlock? What kind of potent glands are available to someone with that sort of evolutionary energy at their claw tips?

I sighed.

I’ll have to wait to find out. The queen is taking this situation very seriously. As well she should.

“Did any of the twenty tell you about what’s happening topside?” I ask, somewhat apprehensively.

I hadn’t wanted to go into too much detail when I first came in. I’d been getting thwacked just on the basis of the rare core. Who knows if I’d still have a shiny, unbroken exo-skeleton on my head.

“That was not a mess of your making, child,” she tells me. “You have assisted the family by bringing news of this threat back to us.”

I can tell by the twinkle in the queen’s eye that she has seen through my scheme to try and avoid recriminations. She’s kind enough to make it clear that in this case, she feels I don’t deserve them.

“Thanks, Mother,” I chuckle.

THWACK!

Oooo… The ‘unexpected, tender moment’ thwack!

She got me that time…

“Try not to keep such critical details to yourself after asking me to do something as important as evolving, child,” Mother admonishes me. “I need to know in order to make the best decision for the colony.”

I rub my sore head and nod. That was fair, I deserved that. In pushing her to evolve and then keeping the details of the crisis that was approaching the colony, I’d put my own fear of getting thwacked ahead of the interests of the colony. A selfish thing to do.

I’ll have to get rid of that habit if I’m to avoid disappointing my family.

I move to slink out of the queen’s chamber with what remains of my dignity and the queen’s voice sounds out behind me.

“Good luck, child. We are counting on your success.”

At her words, an unforeseen emotion wells up inside me and I double my pace, unable to respond to the surging feeling. I flee from it.

I didn’t know what to say, how to express it. I’m not used to being counted on like this. I’m not used to being trusted like this. To have individuals I care about and trust, care about and trust me back in return…

My family in my past life, if they even deserved the word ‘family,’ never gave me this. They’d never accepted me as I’ve been accepted here. Had certainly never involved and trusted me.

I don’t like to dwell on my past life. I felt back then as I feel now, that plenty of people had it worse than me. But it feels a little crazy that I had to be reborn as a monstrous ant to finally be able to feel this sensation of… belonging.

GAH!

I can’t handle these emotions! I need to channel them into something constructive. Like slaying my enemies and feasting on their Biomass. New Crinis has tagged along for the ride, her little tentacles clinging onto my back as I move up the walls.

[Hurry up, Tiny!] I call down to the big ape, shaking him out of his slumber.

He’d been slowly rousing when I’ve left the chamber, but I’d run out of patience with him. Eating, sleeping and fighting are all he’s bothered about.

[We’re going to fight stuff, by the way,] I shout.

[Ooo!] Within moments, the giant ape is scrambling up the tunnels, his thick fingers clinging to holds in the walls as he climbs.

It’s time to go pay a visit to the village and head to the front lines. We need to chip away at the horde and we need to start as soon as possible!