Bargain price

CHAPTER 29

T HE CAT swatted at a length of rope hanging from the ceiling of the Invention Hall. All around him early prototypes of Redd’s numerous inventions were on display in spotlit alcoves: a seeker with the body of a tuttle-bird and the head of a gwormmy; a dry, withered shrub that had been Naturcide’s first kill; a Two Card from The Cut, half steel and half flesh, more vulnerable and not as mobile as the card soldiers that eventually made it to production; a preliminary model of the rose roller; a Glass Eye with one long horizontal crystal for vision-intake instead of the more humanoid orbs in two sockets; even an early version of The Cat himself, with smaller claws and (as The Cat himself liked to think) not as

good-looking as the completed assassin had turned out.

He could play with the rope for hours-catching it on a claw, releasing it, snagging it again. He had begun to purr when Redd’s voice reverberated through the hall.

“Cat, come to the Observation Dome at once.”

Usually, a summons from Redd meant bearing a heap of verbal abuse, having his shortcomings shouted into his ear. But this time Redd had sounded different, almost pleasant, as if to surprise him with a treat. And it was about time. He deserved praise and spoils, since he was the one responsible for maintaining discipline among Wonderland’s masses.

The Observation Dome occupied the top level of the Mount Isolation fortress-slick, polished stone flooring with walls of telescopic glass panels that provided a 360-degree view of Wonderland. The Cat bounded into the dome with a meow, but quick as a tail flick his mood darkened. The walrus-butler and Jack of Diamonds were in the room. Why Redd insisted on tolerating Jack of Diamonds, The Cat would never understand.

“I’ve been taking a stroll down memory lane,” Redd said, “and Cat, I’d like you to tell me again how you tore Alyss Heart into little fleshy bits and hurled them into the Pool of Tears all those years ago.”

Something was wrong. The Cat could smell it. Jack of Diamonds’ grin was more self-satisfied than usual and the walrus hadn’t looked at him once since he’d stepped into the dome, too busy dusting the

crystal-sticks at the center of a long table, sprinkling dust on objects and surfaces as they needed. The walrus had been dusting the same crystal-stick ever since The Cat’s entrance, a mound of dust rising on the table.

“I followed the princess and Hatter Madigan through the Crystal Continuum,” The Cat started. “I tracked them to a cliff-”

A volume of In Queendom Speramus flew at him from the side of the room and conked him on the head. “-ugh! So…I tracked them through woods to a cliff above the Pool of-”

The walrus’s pouch of dust shot toward him. He saw it coming, moved at the last second, and it exploded on the glass panel behind him.

“-above the Pool of Tears. And Hatter-”

A chair skidded toward him. He stepped out of its path. “-he tried to jump off the cliff into…the water-”

Chunks of volcanic rock materialized and came hurtling toward him. He ducked out of the way of one rock only to be hit by another coming from a different direction.

“-ow! I knocked Hatter back onto-ah!-the ground, and then-ow!-I tore him and Alyss into little fleshy bits and-ow!-hurled them into the Pool of Tears.”

He fell to the floor, tired and hurt. Redd came and stood over him.

“You lie, Cat. You have allowed me to believe your lie for thirteen years. I have been informed that

Hatter Madigan is in Wonderland and Alyss Heart alive.”

The Cat could see Jack of Diamonds behind her, pleasantly sipping liqueur from a clear goblet, his little finger raised in affectation.

“It is of course all right for you to lie,” Redd continued, “so long as you don’t lie to me. It appears that if one is clever enough to figure it out, there is a way to return to Wonderland through the Pool of Tears.”

Her left hand formed into a cat’s paw. She speared him through the stomach with the claws of her index and middle fingers. The Cat gurgled and convulsed, blood trickled from his mouth, and he died.

The walrus did his best to ignore what was happening and nervously spread dust over the entire table with both flippers. Jack of Diamonds chuckled, but he stopped abruptly when his goblet leaped from his hand and spilled its contents onto The Cat’s face.

The Cat sputtered, coughed. His eyelids stuttered open.

“Don’t be so dramatic,” Redd told him. “You still have six lives left. Lie to me again and you will have none. Now get up and wipe your chin.”

The Cat stood, licked his paw and rubbed it over his chin and whiskers, cleaning off his blood.

“Here’s what’s going to happen,” Redd said. “You and a platoon of card assassins of my choosing will pass through the Pool of Tears. You will find my niece and you will rip, chop, or twist off her head-I don’t care which so long as her head comes off. You will bring this head to me. If you return without it, I will assume that Alyss is alive and you have failed, and that will be the end of you. If you don’t return to Wonderland because you fear what I will do to you, rest assured that I will send others after you and you will die six more deaths.”

The Cat bowed. “I thank you for being merciful, Your Imperial Viciousness. I will not fail you this time.” “No, I don’t suppose you will.”

Briefed on Alyss’ whereabouts by a smug Jack of Diamonds, The Cat led his card assassins to the cliff overlooking the Pool of Tears. With no fanfare save for the wind in the mute trees and the beating of their illicit hearts, they jumped, succumbed to the extended downward tug of the portal, the upward velocity, and sprang from a puddle inside the Houses of Parliament. They flew up out of it and smashed through

the windows, landing on the sidewalk in a shower of shattered glass.