Chapter 2

Winifred Curry and Chester Luce stood in the doorway and peered over the batwings at the small man sipping whiskey at a corner table and listening to young Lafferty.

“You’re joshing,” Chester said. “He doesn’t look any more deadly than a minnow.”

Farnsworth, smoothing his sleeves, came up behind them. “Shows how deceiving looks can be. That there is Jeeter Frost.”

“The name does not mean a thing to me,” Chester said.

“Frost?” Win repeated. “There was a curly wolf with that handle who made a reputation for himself maybe seven to ten years ago.”

“One and the same,” Farnsworth confirmed. “With a tally of seventeen kills to his credit.”

“And he is still breathing?” Winifred marveled. “It has been so long, I figured he was worm food.”

“Not Jeeter Frost,” Farnsworth said. “The worms would spit him back out. He is too mean to die. They say he once shot a man for snoring.”

“I can’t blame him there,” Win said. “My first wife snored. She sounded like an avalanche. I couldn’t sleep unless I plugged my ears with wax, and even that didn’t always shut out the racket she made. Then one day in Kansas City we came across a patent medicine man selling a cure for snoring.”

“A cure?” Farnsworth said skeptically.

“I bought six bottles on the spot,” Winifred related. “I don’t know what was in them. He claimed it was rare plants and such. I had my suspicions it was opium and whatever else he had handy.”

“Did it cure her?” the journalist asked when the saloon owner did not go on.

“Hell no. But she got addicted to the stuff. Couldn’t go a day without a spoonful of her precious bitters, as she called it. Before long she went from a spoonful to half a bottle and from half a bottle to a full bottle. Then she died.”

“The cure killed her?”

“No, a tree I was chopping down fell the wrong way and crushed her,” Win said. “Her busted bones were sticking out all over.”

“You have a frivolous nature, sir,” Farnsworth stated in mild disgust and shouldered past them. “Excuse me while I conduct my business.”

Win nudged Chester. “He sure is prickly.”

“It comes of being from Dodge,” Chester said. “People there have no manners.”

“Are you still going over to your store?”

“I’ve changed my mind,” Chester answered. “I think I would like to hear this. It could be entertaining.”

Lafferty was hurrying toward Farnsworth. His expression did not bode good news. “He says he does not want to talk to you. He says you would be well advised to turn around and leave.”

“Oh, he does, does he?” Farnsworth drew himself up to his full height, adjusted his derby, and strode toward the corner table with a confident swagger. If he noticed the small man’s glare, it did not deter him. “Jeeter Frost,” he loudly announced. “I mean to have your life story.”

“You are not one for hints,” the notorious leather slapper rasped. “I thought I made it plain in Dodge I do not want to talk to you.”

“But I want to talk to you,” Farnsworth said. “You are news, sir, whether you like it or not. And I, sir, have a duty to my readers to present them with the news. I am a journalist, and a good one, if I do say so myself.”

“If I am news,” Jeeter said, “it is old news, and no one but you is interested. I told your boy and now I am telling you: Go away and leave me be or you will not like what happens.”

“Was that a threat, sir?” Farnsworth asked.

“Mister, I am trying to be polite,” Jeeter Frost replied. “But you can take it as a threat if you want if it will persuade you to pester someone else. I am not in the mood for your brazen antics.”

Lafferty cleared his throat. “Maybe you should listen to him, Mr. Farnsworth. He has the right not to be interviewed, doesn’t he?”

Farnsworth dismissed the legal quibble with a wave of his hand. “He is news, I tell you, and good journalists, those who make their mark as I have, go to whatever lengths are necessary to see that the news is printed. His own wishes do not enter into it.”

“So you say,” Jeeter Frost said. “Mister, stick your nose where it is not wanted and you are liable to find yourself without one.”

“Oh, please,” Farnsworth said. “Spare us the melodramatics. They might scare my assistant but they do not scare me.” He pulled out a chair. “Now then, I would like to begin with the first man you ever killed and take it from there.”

“I have a better idea,” Jeeter Frost said.

“Hear me out. I will begin with an account of one of your triumphs,” Farnsworth said. “Then I will delve into your past. What it was like growing up. Did you love your parents? Did they love you? Who was the first person you ever killed? Did you tingle at the deed or were you filled with revulsion?”

The journalist might have gone on endlessly had it not been for the metallic ratchet of a hammer being thumbed back. Farnsworth glanced up into the muzzle of the Colt Lightning. “What is this?”

“A pistol. A six-gun. A hog leg. A man-stopper. A smoke wagon,” Jeeter quickly recited. “I am surprised a good journalist does not know what they are called.”

“You are not amusing,” Farnsworth said.

“Oh, I’m amused,” the killer said, and then mimicked the other’s manner and previous statement, saying, “Your own feelings do not enter into it.”

Farnsworth had no shortage of bluster. “You do not scare me, sir. I know you will not shoot. I know it as truly as I have ever known anything.”

Jeeter Frost cocked his head and studied the newspaperman much as he might a new kind of toad. “How some folks cram so much stupid between their ears is a wonderment.” And then, without so much as a bat of his eye or a twitch of his mouth, Jeeter Frost squeezed the trigger.

The blast and the belch of smoke were simultaneous. So, too, was the derby’s remarkable feat. It took wing, performing an aerial somersault that ended with the bowler on the floor at its owner’s feet, a hole in the crown.

Jeeter snickered and twirled the Lightning and neatly slid it back into its holster. “Now take your pot and skedaddle, you damned nuisance.”

Win Curry and Chester Luce tried to smother grins but did not succeed. Even young Lafferty was on the verge of guffaws but trying mightily not to give in.

To their considerable amazement, Edison Farnsworth calmly picked up his derby, calmly replaced it on his head, and calmly sank into the chair across from Jeeter Frost. “If you are done with your theatrics, may we begin?”

About to take a swig, Jeeter lowered the bottle to the table with a loud thunk. “You beat all, scribbler.”

“I only do my job as best I am able,” Farnsworth said. From under his jacket he produced a pencil and a few folded pieces of paper. He unfolded a sheet and spread it on the table, then wrote the date at the top. “I am ready when you are.”

Jeeter Frost looked from the journalist to the sheet of paper and back again. “You are like a tick I can’t pry out.”

“Is it true you were born in Missouri? And that you killed your first man at fourteen when he insulted your sister?”

“Where in God’s name did you hear such foolishness?”

“In a penny dreadful,” Farnsworth said.

“A what?” Jeeter asked.

“A penny dreadful,” Farnsworth repeated. “They have been all the rage for close to ten years now. Most are published back East. They recount the life stories of famous frontiersmen like Davy Crockett and Daniel Boone, outlaws such as Jesse James, and desperadoes of lesser notoriety, such as yourself.”

“Are you saying it is some kind of book? Someone went and wrote a book about me?” In his astonishment Jeeter needed another healthy swig.

“Not a book, exactly,” Farnsworth said. “They are not quite as long and the binding is not as permanent.” Stopping, he turned and snapped his fingers at young Lafferty. “Fetch my saddlebags. Instead of telling him I will show him.”

His assistant wheeled and hurried out.

“You must be mistaken,” Jeeter said. “I never talked to anyone about my life. How can there be a story about me?”

“Quite often those who compose them make up the tale as they go,” Farnsworth elaborated. “Writers never let facts stand in the way of a good yarn. Which is all the more reason for me to do an account of your life based on the truth and not make-believe.”

“About me, by God?” Jeeter snorted and swallowed more red-eye.

“I can’t believe you have never read one,” Farnsworth said. “They are hugely popular. You can find them practically everywhere.”

Jeeter Frost looked down at the table and said something that came out barely more than a mumble.

“I didn’t catch that.”

“I can’t read.”

Farnsworth removed his derby and set it in front of him. The sight of the hole caused his jaw muscles to twitch.

“Did you hear me?” Jeeter asked.

“Yes. You can’t read. A not uncommon condition,” Farnsworth said with the air of a man addressing an imbecile. “Yet another contributing factor to the widespread ignorance of the lower classes. Into this darkness I cast my shining light of truth.”

“Is it me or do you talk peculiar?” Jeeter reached for the bottle again. “Wait. What was that about lower classes?”

“Some say that society is divided into those who have and those who have not but wished they had. I believe a more fundamental division is between those who know and those who do not know and have no idea they do not know.”

“What in hell did you just say?”

“The important point is that this ignorance must be alleviated,” Farnsworth continued. “Newspapers perform an invaluable function in that regard, wouldn’t you agree?”

“Mister, you lost me back at penny dreadfuls.”

“I will remedy that momentarily. Ah, here he comes now.” Farnsworth accepted the saddlebags from Lafferty and placed them on the table. He began opening one. “I brought yours with me to use as reference material.”

Lafferty cleared his throat. “Mr. Farnsworth, sir?”

“Not now, boy. Can’t you see I am working? What have I told you about disturbing me when I am interviewing someone? Whatever you have to say can wait.”

“Very well,” Lafferty dutifully responded.

Farnsworth rummaged in the saddlebag and brought out half a dozen of the publications in question. He sorted through them and smiled. “Here it is. This is you on the cover, with your arm around a fair damsel in distress, brandishing a bowie knife at a horde of red savages.”

“Dear God,” Jeeter said.

“I assure you the story is quite flattering. It paints you as a desperado with a heart of gold.”

“From the looks of this, I am seven feet tall. And why is my hair down past my shoulders? I’ve never worn it that long in my life.”

“The woman is Sagebrush Susan, your sweetheart. She figures prominently in your adventures.”

“But I never met a gal by that name.” Jeeter held the penny dreadful out to Farnsworth and tapped the cover. “What does it say there? All these big black letters?”

“Jeeter Frost, the Missouri Man-Killer,” Edison Farnsworth read. “His thrilling escapades. His narrow escapes.”

Jeeter’s mouth fell open.

“I can tell you are impressed. Here. Let me read a bit more.” Farnsworth opened to the first page. “‘The waterways of Missouri were frozen solid the morning Jeeter Frost came into this world. None could have guessed from his squalling debut that he would grow to lead a life of mayhem and debauch, yet in the end find true love and the happiness that so eluded him.’” Farnsworth looked up. “What?”

Jeeter Frost’s mouth was moving, but no words were coming out.

“Here. Let me read more.” Farnsworth flipped pages until he found the one he was looking for. “This next part is one of my favorites. The author, Cooper Fenimore, has a flair. Although I warrant he used a pen name and not his real name.” Farnsworth raised his voice and read, “Into the saloon swaggered the Walker brothers, all nine of them, as vile and despicable a brood of vipers as ever trod this earth. The oldest, Wolf Walker, leered at Sagebrush Susan, who stood at the piano practicing for her next rendition of ‘How Sweet Is Our Valley.’”

“Hold on there,” Jeeter Frost broke in. “I never heard of any Walker brothers. The Blight brothers, yes, but no Walkers.”

“Who are the Blight brothers?” Farnsworth asked, reaching for his pencil and paper.

“There used to be four but I killed one about a month ago over to Topeka, so now there are three. The others have been after me ever since. They’re the reason I lit out of Dodge like I did.”

“You didn’t leave to avoid talking to me?”

“Hell no. You showed up as I was fixing to light a shuck.”

Young Lafferty coughed to get their attention. “These Blight brothers ran into you in Dodge, Mr. Frost?”

“That’s right, boy. Wearing an armory and out for my blood.”

“Is it possible they are still after you?”

“They won’t likely give up this side of my grave,” Jeeter Frost said. “The Blights are big on the feud. Kill one and the rest won’t rest until they have had their revenge.”

“Does one ride a pinto, would you know?”

“The oldest. Temple, his name is.”

Farnsworth turned toward Lafferty in irritation. “Why are you asking all these questions, Frank?”

“I tried to tell you when I came in with your saddlebags. Three riders are headed this way, and kicking up a lot of dust. They should be here any second.” Lafferty paused. “And one of them is riding a pinto.”

As if on cue, Coffin Varnish thundered to the drum of heavy hooves.

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