Blood Loss

38

Ben Rader was standing alone outside an empty conference room when Ren arrived in the morning.

‘Hey,’ he said, ‘are you feeling better?’

‘Not quite on top of the world,’ said Ren. ‘Maybe a third of the way up. How did last night go?’

‘I hope you didn’t think my text was too dumb,’ said Ben. ‘I was just trying to be funny.’

‘I know that,’ said Ren. ‘It made me laugh.’

‘So, what is our story?’ said Ben.

Put me down, you don’t know where I’ve been.

‘I mean, are we … you know …?’ said Ben.

I’d be the last to know. ‘I don’t think I’m ready for a relationship right now,’ said Ren. Because whores don’t go in for relationships much.

‘Oh,’ said Ben.

‘I’m sorry,’ said Ren. ‘It’s just … well … I’ve never been alone for very long. And I probably should be.’ Either that or with two people …

‘Why?’ said Ben.

Because that’s what people tell me. And that’s what healthy people do.

‘Good point,’ said Ren.

Ben looked at her with a tilted head. ‘So, do you want to hook up tonight?’

‘In Breck? No way,’ said Ren. ‘With Gary hovering around?’

‘But you had dinner with that CARD guy the other night. That was just the two of you.’

‘Yeah, but that’s different,’ said Ren.

‘Unless you’re sleeping with him too.’ Ben laughed.

Ren laughed too. ‘Jesus, keep your voice down.’

‘Relax,’ said Ben. He looked like he was about to hug her.

‘Hey, we’re back in Denver tonight,’ said Ren. ‘It’s Sunday. I forgot. I feel like I lost a day. I could call over to your place tonight?’

‘That would be great,’ said Ben.

‘So, last night?’ said Ren. ‘What happened?’

‘It was something else,’ said Ben. ‘I ended up hooking up with a group of kids at Big Mountain Brewery, and they invited me along to a house party five minutes from town on the road to Fairplay.’

‘What did you get?’

‘A few six packs, a couple bags of chips-’ He smiled.

Gorgeous, gets-under-your-skin smile. That I don’t deserve.

‘This was a party full of high-schoolers, and some a little older. We were in the basement of a house. There were two girls, I’m not making this up, they were in the games room on the pool table …’ He glanced at Ren. ‘They had … sex toys …’ He paused. ‘That they were using …’

‘As opposed to holding them up like on the adult teleshopping channel?’ said Ren.

‘It was unbelievable,’ said Ben. ‘It was the kind of thing guys should have to pay for.’

Hello?

‘You know what I mean,’ said Ben. ‘That kind of stuff shouldn’t happen at a teen party. It was basically a sex show.’

‘And the crowd went wild,’ said Ren.

Ben nodded. ‘But, the party was kind of split,’ said Ben. ‘This was the basement action. Upstairs, were the more regular kids. Less skeevy. So, anyway, when I went back down to the basement, two guys passed me in the doorway, they were leaving the room, and I heard one of them say, “She’s no Shelby.”’

‘It was obvious that one of the girls was less experienced than the other, she was trying too hard, and I think he was referring to her. So I figure Shelby was the regular, and this girl was her replacement. I tried to get up to talk to the other girl when they were finished, but there was a line of guys waiting to move in …’

Grim. ‘And how was she reacting?’

‘Her boyfriend was there,’ said Ben. ‘Standing in the wings. She didn’t acknowledge the other guys.’

‘But … what was the deal? Was she getting paid?’ said Ren.

‘So cynical,’ said Ben. ‘I didn’t see any money being handed over, but who knows what could have happened before or after?’

‘If she wasn’t getting paid, what’s the point?’ said Ren. ‘She has a boyfriend, he was right there …’

‘Getting off on it probably.’

Ren nodded.

‘Anyway, I got talking to the guy who left the room, told him I thought one of the girls was a total fail, and he was like, yeah, there was another girl here before, she was way better, and I said “Who?”, and he said, “Doesn’t matter, she’s not around any more.” Looked like he got an attack of speaking-ill-of-the-dead guilt. I said, “Oh, she just left?”, hoping to hear more about her, and he said, “No, she stopped, like, a year ago.”’

‘And her legacy lives on …’ said Ren. ‘If she stopped a year ago — when she was fifteen — how old was she when she started? Jesus.’

‘I know,’ said Ben. ‘But if she stopped a year ago, what’s with the bag at her house? Was there a layer of dust on it?’

‘There could have been before the mom moved it,’ said Ren. ‘Who knows? Maybe she just reduced the size of her market to one man at a time and a guaranteed payment at the end.’

Ben Rader stood up at the top of the conference room, and started to go through the details of the party when the room filled up. Ren stood at the side wall, watching him. There he was, looking like a college kid, but speaking better than Gary, better than Paul. He was passionate about what he did. He really cared about people.

And look at the piece of shit he wants to have a relationship with.

Ren turned her head as Paul Louderback arrived into the room looking deathly. His face was gray, and for the first time since she had known him, he hadn’t shaved. She turned back to Ben.

Beautiful Ben.

Ren bumped into Gary in the hallway afterward.

‘I wish we weren’t leaving,’ she said.

‘I think we both know that this isn’t about Breckenridge,’ said Gary. ‘I don’t believe there’s anything more to be found here or anything to be gained by being here. I don’t know what exactly this is, but our official line is out there, sadly, we’ve got the bodies … we can do more in Denver. At less expense.’

‘I know … but still.’

‘See you in the morning,’ said Gary, walking away.

Bob came out of his office. ‘I hate to see you go,’ he said.

‘Yes,’ said Ren. ‘This whole “tidy” ending … I feel like I’m going home from the party early … with the wrong guy.’

‘Now why would you ever go home from the party with the wrong guy?’ said Bob.

‘Because my friends told me he was perfect or I thought he was a better option than the unknown. Or … you get where I’m coming from,’ said Ren. ‘I’m leaving this party with the wrong guy. What do you do when all the evidence is there and it aligns and the only hole is the one in your gut, because something is eating away at you? If the autopsy results said that he didn’t pull the trigger, that would be helpful. But we know that he did. He killed Shelby Royce. There was semen in her mouth, he more than likely raped her, and he killed her.’

‘There are two words that come to mind at a time like that,’ said Bob. He put his arm around Ren and squeezed her shoulder. ‘“Case” and “closed”.’

‘You don’t believe that,’ said Ren.

‘Nope,’ said Bob. ‘So, go out there, little lady. Spread your wings and fly.’

‘I think I might have a problem with my landing gear.’

‘I can’t help you with that.’

Ren laughed. ‘Will you help me when I come back with the real story?’

‘I’d help you, Ren, no matter what the hell you showed up with,’ said Bob.

‘Thank you, Bob. You are a wonderful man.’

‘So my beloved wife tells me.’

Ren went back to see if Ben was finished. He was tidying his notes with his talented hands, talking to some of the detectives. Paul Louderback came up and stood beside her in the doorway.

‘He’s a good speaker, that guy, Rader,’ said Paul.

‘He is,’ said Ren. ‘Thanks for looking after me last night. I know I was such good company.’

‘You were lovely,’ said Paul.

‘You look … like … not great.’

‘Fight with Marianne this morning.’

Like hearing her name even less now.

‘Ah,’ said Ren. ‘I hope it wasn’t anything too serious.’

‘No … just about the girls, and her having a weekend away with her … boyfriend …’

OK, thanks for sharing.

‘Well,’ said Ren, ‘we better say goodbye. I guess you’re going back to D.C. now that we’re all done.’

Paul nodded. ‘I’ll be back in Denver soon, though. Us CARD shufflers still have to give that talk we were meant to give when we got called away for this.’

‘Well, keep in touch,’ said Ren.

Paul frowned. ‘Of course I’ll keep in touch … what’s that supposed to mean?’

‘Nothing,’ said Ren. ‘Just keep in touch.’

‘I really want to kiss you now …’

Ugh.

Ren smiled. ‘OK, I gotta go. Safe trip back.’

Why do I do this? Why? Why? Why?