Born To Be Wild

FORTY-TWO

“Sixteen calls about the Harley van,” Elizabeth panted as she hunched down into her stationary bike. The Mad Bitch leading the spin class was shouting instructions again-“Pedal faster, you girlie girls-get those quads burning-this is where we chase Lance Armstrong. Go!” The sound of thirty bikes spinning on a manic high over the dance music was deafening. Headbands were soaked, legs pumped, and muscles screamed.

It was impossible to talk now. For three minutes they chased Lance. Then the Mad Bitch shouted out, “Lance is going up the Matterhorn! No way you’ll catch him now! Back off, slow down. Cool off. Not great but not too bad. Maybe you can ask him for an autograph.”

After the five-minute cooldown, Lou Lou crawled off her stationary bike, wiped her face with her towel. “Thank God Lance went up the Matterhorn-I was ready to pull out a gun and shoot him. Is my face still above my neck or has it sweated off?”

Mary Lisa laughed. “Only the eyebrows. They’re down by your mouth, kinda like cute mustachios.”

“Har har.” But Lou Lou’s fingers traced over her eyebrows. “I’m pitiful, you get me every time.”

Elizabeth tucked a long damp hank of hair behind Lou Lou’s ear. “That’s only because your brain is too tired to care. I feel so limp you could pour Bolognese sauce on me, with a sprinkle of Parmesan. Hey, maybe I should call my boyfriend, see if that gives him any ideas. Wait a second-I don’t have a boyfriend. Well, damn, so much for a spaghetti fantasy.”

Mary Lisa, whose water bottle was tipped up to her mouth, spewed water. Lou Lou smacked her back.

The three women walked out of the World Gym in the shopping center off Webb Road a few minutes later, bedraggled and sweat-soaked, all their pre-spin-class makeup sweated off. They hadn’t showered, since they were close to Mary Lisa’s house, but they looked buff, their muscles warm and glistening, virtue oozing out of every pore. Their first stop was the Subway on the corner for some diet sodas, and of course some bags of potato chips: barbecue for Mary Lisa, onion and cheddar for Lou Lou, original for Elizabeth.

They waved to Chad in the kiosk at the gate and walked past him toward Mary Lisa’s house. Deciding on the beach rather than the shower, they grabbed some towels and sat down on the soft sand.

“So as I was saying before I had to catch Lance,” Elizabeth said, “I told Daniel there was one call that sounded interesting, from a guy named Scooter who lives here in Malibu. He said he’d get back to me. Actually, I think it’s the only one with possibilities. Anyway, Scooter claims he saw that van yesterday, heading down PCH past Santa Monica. He was riding his Harley, passing the van, and waved to the driver, said the driver gave him a thumbs-up.”

“He was on the driver’s side? They were both driving south?” Mary Lisa asked.

“Yeah.”

“What’s wrong, Mary Lisa? What are you thinking?” Mary Lisa couldn’t answer because she’d stuffed a barbecue potato chip in her mouth. She automatically chewed, swallowed. “Well, the thing is, I thought Puker said the motorcycle and the sign were on the right side of the van.”

Elizabeth slugged down a big drink of Diet Seven-Up. She wiped her hand over her mouth. “So if they were going south, Scooter would have been passing on his hog on the driver’s side-the left side, not the ocean side where the logo was. No road there to ride on.”

“So it sounds like this Scooter guy was putting you on,” Lou Lou said. She wadded up her empty bag of potato chips and tossed it hard toward a trash can Mary Lisa had put on the beach. The bag banked off the back side and plopped right in.

“You never miss,” Mary Lisa said, waving at her very nice trash can, painted a bright blue with a yellow happy face on it. The teenagers who lived in the Colony used it for target practice.

Elizabeth shook her head at herself, and dug into the sand with her toes. “How slow can I get? The lying little jerk. I’ll never live this down. However am I going to get out of this with Detective Vasquez? Good shot, Lou Lou.”

“Thanks,” Lou Lou said, and turned her attention back to Elizabeth. “Hey, you’re a great liar, maybe you can tell him you checked out Scooter and it didn’t pan out. Don’t worry. You’re right, this bozo is a lying little jerk.”

Elizabeth said, “Hey, look who’s here.” The women looked up to see Detective Vasquez, John Goddard, and Jack Wolf walking toward them, all three of them in slacks and loafers, looking like they owned the earth.

“Is that a macho strut or what?” Elizabeth said.

Lou Lou batted her eyes, patted her heart. “Oh wow, do you think these guys are movie stars? Maybe we could barter our bodies for their autographs!”

Mary Lisa looked them up and down. “Nah, they look more like strolling mariachis who couldn’t find the cantina. You look on the warm side, Detective Vasquez.”

Daniel was the only one wearing a jacket because he had a holster with a Beretta in it fastened with a clip to his belt. “Yeah, I suffer for my job.”

Mary Lisa laughed, and introduced John to Elizabeth. They eyed each other and Mary Lisa found that immensely interesting. She smiled up at Jack, found herself wanting to jump up, no makeup, ratty ponytail, dried sweat and all, and take him down.

John nodded down to Elizabeth. “Jack and Daniel told me about your segment on TV last evening. So who’s the lying little jerk you guys were talking about?”

“Big ears,” Elizabeth said and scuffed her bare toes in the sand.

Mary Lisa looked at Detective Vasquez and gave him a smile that many BTBW viewers knew to distrust on sight. “This creep at Turley & Tom’s who lied to Elizabeth, told her he wasn’t married.”

Elizabeth nodded. “The idiot was so clueless he didn’t even know he had a tan line from his wedding ring.”

Jack looked down at the sand. Mary Lisa knew he was debating whether or not to sit down in his dress slacks.

She patted the ground beside her, and gave him a shameless grin. “Well, pretty boy?”

He shook his head after giving her the once-over. “Unlike you, I’m clean and working. I just got these pants back from the cleaners. They ain’t going back for two more wearings.”

“Unless a catsup bottle gets you,” Lou Lou said.

Mary Lisa rolled her eyes. “I can’t believe we’re discussing Jack’s dry cleaning.”

Elizabeth eyed John Goddard. “Shall we discuss yours, instead, John?” she asked while she gave his ring finger a blatant look and grinned at him.

John looked down at her-hair sweated down to her head, not a dollop of lipstick on her smart mouth, and the whitest teeth he’d ever seen. “Hard to believe you’re really a TV newscaster.”

Elizabeth gave him a sweet smile.

Mary Lisa shook her head at him. “What? You don’t believe this scrap heap of a gym bunny you don’t want to sit too close to before she showers is a TV goddess?”

John waved his hand at her. “Actually, I was just thinking goddess myself.”

Jack said, “And she was willing to read your lame script about the van.”

Elizabeth’s white teeth gritted. “Mary Lisa didn’t write that lame script, I did. And it’s netted-what-”

Daniel said, “You told me sixteen calls so far. And this Scooter guy. You’ve got to tell me more about him so I can try to locate him.”

Elizabeth cursed under her breath.

Daniel gave her a perplexed look, saw she wasn’t going to say any more about it, and made a big deal of sniffing the air. “So this is why you guys are sitting close to the water? To dissipate the gym smells?”

Mary Lisa patted Elizabeth’s knee, said up to him, “We sure hope so. Nothing but salt air and potato chips. You want some?” She stuck the nearly empty bag at Jack.

He took the bag, looked in it, and shook his head. “You offer me crumbs? After last night?”

He tossed the bag back at her and watched her funnel it, expertly settle the edge of the bag on her lower lip, and slide the rest of the crumbs into her mouth. He also saw the flush on her cheeks. He grinned. He’d never before seen a girl do the funneling thing, well, except for his sister Connie. Mary Lisa tossed it to Lou Lou who threw it cleanly into the trash can.

Daniel said, “So first you guys work your butts off then you sit out here on the beach and chow down on potato chips? What’s wrong with this picture?”

Mary Lisa grinned up at him. “I would have thought you understood the art of exercise. A full hour at the gym spinning with the Mad Bitch and you’re hurled into the Negative Calorie Zone-”

Elizabeth leaped in. “A wondrous place where calories are guilt-free. Who could ask for more?”

There was some laughter, but it quickly dwindled into silence. The jokes were good, Lou Lou was thinking, wishing for something else clever to say. At least they’d kept Mary Lisa’s mind off what was happening, actually all their minds, for a little while. John cleared his throat. “I told you guys last night it was only an overnighter for me. I came to say good-bye. I’ve got to head back home.”

Elizabeth’s head quickly came up.

“A late afternoon flight,” John said, his eyes on Elizabeth. “But I’ll be back when I can break free again.” He said to Mary Lisa, “I’m leaving you in good hands. You take care, all right?”

She swallowed. “Yes, all right. Have a safe trip, John. Thanks for coming down.”

He looked from her to Jack, smiled reluctantly. “It was an enlightening trip.”