Brimstone Blues

Chapter Nine

Taz stopped for the night north of Memphis, paid cash for a hotel room, and used her vampire charm to make the clerk accept her fake name without needing to see her ID.

No sign of Matthias in her mind when she checked for him. He hadn’t doubled back to find her.

She turned on her BlackBerry, then immediately went into the settings and shut off the tracking feature. There were several missed calls and two voice mails.

Robertson’s voice nearly broke her heart and will. “Taz, sweetheart, please call. We’re very worried. Matthias is practically beside himself. We understand you’re upset and overwhelmed, but please let us help you. We love you.”

The second was Matthias, left that evening. “Taz, I love you. If I did something to upset you, I’m sorry. Please call me so I can talk to you. Whatever you need, I’ll do it. I just want to make sure you’re safe.”

She saved the messages and turned the phone off again. She didn’t want to risk it ringing and breaking down and talking to them. Her next task was to go through her digital camera. Fortunately, Rafe’s laptop had a card reader that took her camera’s card.

Browsing through the pictures brought a sad, wistful smile. Taken by a waiter at their dinner that night in Yellowstone, Rafe wore a playful, teasing smile. In the last picture they looked at each other, their foreheads touching, like two long-married lovers instead of people who’d met that morning.

Taz touched the screen. She didn’t delete the pictures from her card. Instead, she saved copies to the hard drive and kept the original files on the camera card as backup. Then she shut down the computer.

She grabbed her keys and ran downstairs, grabbing two of the several photo albums from the trunk of the Mustang. She couldn’t handle reading his journals yet. An hour later she sat, alternately crying and laughing as she looked through the pictures. They spanned decades, yet Rafe, Matthias, Robertson, and Albert hadn’t aged a day. How could she have missed that Robertson never seemed to age?

He was family. Well, the closest thing she had to family with her parents dead. He’d been like a dad to her even while they were alive, practically raising her while her famous parents were gone all the time.

She closed the albums and neatly stacked them on the dresser. Now what to do about the mysterious new playlist?

Taz curled up on the bed with Rafael’s MP3 player. She navigated to the playlists, with titles like Driving Music, Work Music, Booty Call—that would be interesting—and then finally, toward the bottom, the new one. Music for Taz.

Her heart pounded. With trembling fingers she thumbed the control and scrolled through the song list. Romantic ballads, a few up-tempo love songs, sultry jazz numbers.

She powered Rafael’s laptop up again and located the MP3 software. There were the playlists, the newest one, Music for Taz, created that afternoon while she was at Rafael’s house.

While she was asleep.

“What the fuck?”

She stared at the screen. It must have been her. Yet she didn’t remember doing it. She didn’t even know how to do it, because his MP3 player was a different brand and used different software than hers.

She curled up on the bed with earbuds, listening to the playlist, tears falling. She loved Matthias, there was no doubt in her mind, but the emotion in the songs made her think of Rafe and his life cut short. Of who he was, the man she never truly got to know. The man she felt like she’d known her whole life.

At some point Taz fell asleep. The shadowy figure in her mind reached out and touched her. She couldn’t see his face and wondered if it was the same one who came to her when she was shot by the demon in Yellowstone, the one that encouraged her to hang on and pull through. Was this the source of the phantom voice in her mind? The one who seemed to know things?

The one who sounded like Rafe?

“I’ll always be here for you, Taz. As long as you want me, baby girl.”

Dropping into a fitful sleep, she dreamed about Rafe and the boardwalk, watched him walking toward her, kissing him…

In this dream, their boardwalk kiss went uninterrupted by Matthias speaking in her mind. She and Rafe stood all alone on the boardwalk. Rafe pulled her to him, his stiff cock rubbing against her through their jeans. She tangled her hand in his hair, wrapped her legs tightly around him, and pulled his lips to her neck.

“Take me, Rafe,” she whispered as he nuzzled her flesh. “Do it.”

“I can’t bite you like this, baby girl. I wish I could.” She shivered at the feel of his breath against her skin. “You’re not mine to have.”

“I want you.”

“I know, sugar. Close your eyes.” She did, and then they were in the bed in his Yellowstone cabin. He slowly undressed her, kissing every inch of her body as he bared her, loving her. He worked his way to her breasts. His sweet, hot mouth engulfed first one nipple, his tongue flicking against her and turning it hard. Then he moved to the other one, repeating the action and sending throbbing waves of aching need straight to her pussy. Her clit throbbed in time with each stroke of his tongue until she begged him to move lower.

Even knowing it was a dream, she didn’t want to let him go, wanted to feel his body against hers as long as she could. When he finally bent between her legs, he glanced up at her with a savagely amused smile.

“Like this?” he asked. Then his lips and tongue found her clit. He closed his eyes as he took his sweet time, his delicious mouth doing things to her in this dream that she never experienced with him in real life. She closed her eyes and let herself go, enjoying the release he brought her. When she finished, he propped himself up on his arms over her.

His intense blue eyes smoldered at her. “Are you ready for me?”

“Please!” she gasped.

He thrust his cock home. Once fully buried inside her, he took long, sensuous strokes, his gaze boring into hers.

“I love you, Taz baby. I wish I could give you more.”

“You’re giving me plenty, Rafe,” she whispered before she kissed him.

Matthias paced, so surly and short tempered that Albert and Tim considered darting him with the tranquilizer pistol.

“Matthias,” Tim said, “all we can do is wait for her to let us know where she is.”

“What if it’s too late when she does?”

“I have the jet on standby. When we find out where she is, we can be in the air in thirty minutes. We know she can’t drive to Hawaii, so wherever she is, she’s not more than a five-hour flight away at this point,” Albert said.

“Why won’t she call? What if something’s happened to her?”

“She’s a grown woman,” Tim sternly cautioned. “This was bound to happen sooner or later as stressed as she’s been. She is a creature of habit, and her world completely upended. She needs time to decompress. She’s had a horrible series of shocks and needs time to make sense of it all. She will come back to us.”

“Aren’t you worried about her?”

“Of course I am! Had you kept a better eye on her, we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now, would we?”

“What happened to it not being my fault?”

Tim shook his head, rubbing his eyes. “I’m sorry, Matthias. I know it’s not your fault. I’m as concerned as you are, but I have confidence in her. Now that she is aware of her powers, she can keep herself safe.”

“How can you be sure?”

“I can’t. But even if she was with us, it wouldn’t be possible to protect her every single second.”

Matthias sat. “I wish she’d let us know where she is.”

Taz checked out of the hotel at dawn after a night of incredible dreams, grabbed a quick breakfast in the hotel lobby from their continental spread, then fueled up. She checked a map she found in the glove box and picked a route that wound through Western Kentucky and touched the southern tip of Illinois, taking her through St. Louis.

Taz started the car, let it idle, and looked at the MP3 player. A sleepwalking episode, that’s all. Strange voice, now this—definitely stress. Overwhelmed by stress.

And grief.

Let’s not forget Taz’s Big Honkin’ List O’ Guilt, either.

Thumbing through the playlists, she selected Driving Music and tapped play. It was spooky how similar their tastes were in music. She liked a wide variety of artists and genres, but when driving, she preferred something with a heavy, toe-tapping bass beat. Rock and roll. Apparently, so did Rafe. In fact, most of the songs in this playlist were on her own MP3 player.

Slipping Rafe’s sunglasses on, she pulled out of the gas station and pointed the pony toward the interstate.

It was easy to let her mind drift while driving. Rafe had—of course—an excellent sound system that did the music justice, including a small subwoofer providing just the right amount of thump to accompany the bass line. With the landscape peeling away on both sides, she focused on the asphalt ahead of her, trying not to let her mind drift to what happened at Yellowstone.

There would be plenty of time to deal with that soon enough.

Rafe, I’m so sorry. I wish I could talk to you and tell you how I feel, let you know how sorry I am this all happened.

The voice didn’t respond.

An Illinois state trooper tagged her doing ninety in a sixty-five zone just north of Paducah, a few miles inside the state line. She didn’t feel bad about smiling as he walked up and she chatted with him. She wished him a nice day as he returned to his patrol car, letting her go without even asking to see license and registration.

Now that Taz knew how her vampire mojo worked, she used it to her advantage. She didn’t hurt him, he just forgot to ticket her after pulling her over. She never got speeding tickets before she knew about her powers. Why should she start getting them now?

She left the St. Louis Arch in her rearview mirror after stopping for an early lunch, and just after dark she ate dinner north of Kansas City. She considered pulling over for the night, but with all the coffee and nervous energy she knew it was a waste of time.

Pushing on, she stopped for gas and coffee in Council Bluffs after midnight. Low on cash, she broke down and paid with a credit card, knowing Matthias could track the purchase but hoping she was still far enough from her destination he wouldn’t figure it out yet. Around two a.m., she pulled into a rest stop north of Sioux City and parked under a security light next to an RV with Virginia plates. She laid the seat back with Rafe’s pillow tucked under her head and tried to nap, eventually drifting into a fitful but dreamless sleep.

Two hours later, she was on the road again before dawn. She ate breakfast in Sioux Falls, and the hot summer sun chased her across the rolling South Dakota landscape. She hadn’t turned on her phone since Tennessee and wondered if she should check her messages. Nearly out of money, she pulled into Mitchell for gas and an ATM withdrawal. Fueled, fed, and flush with cash, she returned to I-90 and headed west.

Albert tapped Matthias on the shoulder. “I know where she is.”

He sat up, immediately wide awake. “Where?”

“I should say, where she was early this morning.”

Matthias jumped out of bed and grabbed him. “Where?”

“Council Bluffs, Iowa.”

Matthias let go. “What? That’s not possible. That’s—” He considered the distance. “That’s not possible.”

“Look for yourself.”

Matthias pounded down the stairs to the office, looked at the computer, then pulled up a map. “She had to be driving without stops to make it that far.”

Tim walked in with a cup of coffee and handed it to Matthias. “She has a very strong stamina. And she’s running.”

“Why would she run from me? What did I do?”

“Not running from, Matthias. Running to.”

“All right then, running to where?”

Tim had logged into her bank account earlier that morning but didn’t tell Matthias. He didn’t want Matthias swooping in and scaring her. “I have an idea.”

It was late afternoon when Taz passed Wall and rolled into Rapid City. As tired as she was, it was tempting to stop, but she felt the pull, so close she didn’t want to lose daylight travel time. She grabbed a light dinner and coffee and returned to the highway before dark. After consulting the map she jumped off I-90 near Ranchester, Wyoming, and pulled into a motel for the night.

At dawn she was on the road again, winding her way through the Bighorn mountains. She ate lunch in Greybull, then finally turned on her BlackBerry where four voice mails waited for her. She ignored them and used the browser to find the number she needed and made a reservation with one of her personal cards, hoping Robertson wouldn’t think about checking that account.

She wasn’t counting on it. Robertson knew her too well. If nothing else, maybe he would keep Matthias off her for a few days.

Then she turned the phone off.

She had an early dinner in Cody and gassed up, paying cash. They might think she went the other way, through Gardiner, and she didn’t want them figuring it out too soon. The ranger at the Yellowstone East Entrance smiled and took her money, handing her a park map, brochure, and newsletter.

“Have you ever been here before?” he asked. Was he looking her over carefully, or was it just her exhaustion?

She wistfully smiled. “Yes, I have.” Today was two weeks since Rafe died. It felt like yesterday that she’d kissed him, and yet a lifetime since.

“Be careful near Fishing Bridge. We’ve had bison getting into the road there a lot. You might not see them in time in the dark.”

“I will.”

“Do you have a reservation?”

“Old Faithful Lodge cabins.”

“I love it over there. Beautiful.”

She nodded in agreement. “Yes, it is.”

The ranger watched the Mustang’s taillights disappear into the thickening gloom and pulled out his BlackBerry. He sent a text message.

Matthias looked haggard, drawn, and wouldn’t eat.

“You must eat something,” Tim scolded.

“I’m too worried.” He sat at the kitchen table, and Tim put a bowl of soup in front of him.

“Eat. Now.”

Matthias finally spooned some into his mouth.

Albert walked in. Matthias missed their shared glance.

Tim patted Matthias on the shoulder. “Finish that. I’ll be right back.”

They walked to the office, and Albert pointed at the screen. “You were right.”

“I didn’t want to say anything to Matthias because I don’t want him going after her. That would only make matters worse.”

“When do we tell him?”

Tim shook his head. “We don’t. Not yet. Let her have a day, she’s safe there. I’ve already made a few calls. She’ll have several people watching her once she checks in.”

“She had to really be moving to make it out there that soon.”

“She’s very determined. I’ll leave tonight, after Matthias is asleep. I’m sure she was smart enough not to take the north entrance. Probably cut through Cody, knowing her. I’ll fly into Livingston and send the jet back, arrange a plane to Gardiner and have a car waiting. Don’t tell him until I say so.”

“He’s going to be extremely upset, you know. At both of us.”

“I’m more concerned about her than I am him. She needs a chance to work through this in her way. Matthias must learn to give her space.”

Tim’s BlackBerry vibrated. He looked at it, then nodded.

“What?” Albert asked.

He held it up so Albert could read the text message. “Told you so.”

“Do you ever tire of being right?”

“She’s my baby, Albert, lest you forget.” Well, at least the child of my heart…in this life.

Taz drove, slowing once full dark settled. It was eerie watching the land disappear with only the asphalt in her headlights and occasional steam drifting across the road in front of her. Albert had told her Yellowstone was a safe haven for “their kind” because something about the sulfuric “brimstone” output from the thermal features kept the Others away.

Except the Others had apparently tag-teamed with a traitorous vampire and some daemon pulverem to infiltrate what was normally a refuge. With Caroline in custody, Taz wasn’t worried even though she knew it was foolish to be here alone. She’d be more careful.

She swallowed hard as she made the turn south at Fishing Bridge, toward West Thumb. Tightly gripping the steering wheel, she tried to ignore her racing heart and bad memories as she passed West Thumb and made her way west to the Old Faithful valley.

At check-in the desk clerk smiled, handing her the key. “Do you need more than one?”

Taz looked at it and shook her head. “No.”

It was a different cabin, and closer to the lodge than where they stayed before, fortunately not within sight of the cabin where Rafe died. Taz carried her bags inside and lay on the bed and took a deep breath. She could relax, breathe.

Morning snuck up on her and she realized she had fallen asleep with her clothes on. She took a shower, letting the hot water ease her stiff shoulders. She dressed and walked to the inn for breakfast, recognizing one of the servers from before.

“You’re back.” The waiter smiled and handed her a menu.

“Wanted to spend some more time here.” She couldn’t help but glance at the tables they sat at before. She imagined Matthias sitting across from her.

The sound of Rafe’s laugh.

After breakfast, she made her way to the boardwalk and slowly strolled in the opposite direction she had on the last visit, around the far end of the basin, and back to where she kissed Rafe. Sitting on the edge, out of the way of foot traffic, she closed her eyes and inhaled. She’d put on his shirt, the one from the floor of his closet, and could smell him. Faintly, but there.

Then came her tears. She wrapped her arms around herself and let them fall, replaying in her mind what happened. The teasing, the mental caresses, the playful flirting, his wink. Their talk over dinner, when he opened up to her and she saw a side of him few others ever knew. Feeling like he was a part of her past even though she’d only just met him that morning.

Remembering her promise, to give him a chance if there was ever one to give.

Admitting they loved one another. And her suspicions that he knew more than he was telling her.

One last, tender kiss good-bye…

“It’s okay, Taz baby.”

Her eyes snapped open. It must have been the breeze. Had to be. There were no others around.

Unless it was that damned disembodied voice again.

She stayed until lunch. Returning to the cabin, she changed to a different shirt and eyed her BlackBerry. She had reception here, could call and let them know not to worry.

No, she didn’t want to talk to anyone yet. There were still some personal demons she had to face down.

After lunch, she drove to West Thumb. In the parking lot she gripped the steering wheel, her knuckles white, and forced herself out of the car. The first time she was here was with Matthias, down by the lake, learning how to send her mind out. As far as Old Faithful until he’d called her back to him.

The last time…

With leaden feet, she retraced her steps down the boardwalk to Abyss Pool.

Had she really done it? Nearly dunked Caroline into the hot spring? If it hadn’t been for Matthias—

Taz gripped the handrail. He’d tackled her, sank his teeth into her neck, and drank to break her mental hold on Caroline. Then he temporarily went crazy and nearly killed Caroline himself. If Albert and Robertson hadn’t been there, Caroline would have gone into the pool. She deserved it, but still…

Taz’s fingers tightened around the wooden handrail separating her from the deceptively still water of the hot spring. Hot enough to kill someone.

Never again could she lose control, no matter how justified. Ever. She was a breath away from being a monster.

“You’re not a monster, Taz.” At the sound of the familiar voice Taz screamed, jumped, and wheeled around. Robertson stood a few feet away, looking sad.

At first she was shocked, not sure what to say, angry he was there. Then he held out his arms to her.

“My child,” he whispered. She fell into him, crying.

He caught her and sank to the boardwalk with her, holding her as she sobbed, letting her get it out of her system. Eventually he helped her stand and put an arm around her waist, and they walked down to the lake, found an empty bench, and sat staring out over the Absarokas in the distance. He didn’t speak, knowing her well enough to let the silence lie between them until she was ready to break it.

Finally, she did. “How did you know?”

“Besides the reservation?”

She nodded.

“I suspected. Even before your receipts showed up. You didn’t have time to deal with this before we left. I figured you’d want to sort things out where they all happened.”

“Matthias?”

“I imagine he’s probably strangled Albert by now.” He smiled. “I didn’t tell him. I left late last night after Matthias went to bed. I told Albert to wait, to let you have some time.”

“So you were here this morning?”

“I knew you would eventually find your way here and I decided to wait. I didn’t want to intrude too soon. I’ll leave, if you wish.”

She considered it, laying her head against his shoulder like she did when she was a child. “No. Please don’t.”

He hugged her closer. “I’m so sorry it happened, Taz. We all are. I know you need time to deal with this. Just keep in mind Matthias sees his responsibility is to protect you, take care of you, because he loves you.”

“I needed some time alone.”

“I know, but you scared him.”

“He would have insisted on coming with me.”

“I know that, too. Why do you think I kept my mouth shut for so long, sweetheart?”

She finally sat up and sniffled. “When do we go to the Tribunal?”

“Whenever you’re ready. I think not until next week, at the very earliest. You still need some downtime.”

She nodded. “So Matthias is on his way?”

“Not unless Albert blabbed too soon. The jet had to return to Florida and refuel first. I imagine Albert waited until late morning to say anything, meaning he wouldn’t be able to get to Gardiner until later tonight, at the earliest.

She looked down at the boardwalk. “When do we get him back?”

Robertson sighed. “The ashes arrived in Florida yesterday.”

Taz nodded and was quiet for several minutes. “How did she do it?” Taz whispered.

Robertson put his arm around her again. “Do you really wish to know?”

She nodded.

He patted her shoulder. “Caroline suffocated him while she had control of him. He couldn’t fight her. It was quick. He didn’t suffer.”

Taz closed her eyes and sobbed. He pulled her to him as she grieved.

“I feel like I can still hear him, like he’s still alive.”

“I know, sweetheart. It was so sudden, it’s hard to believe he’s gone.”

She sat up. “No. I mean I feel like he’s still around. In here.” She touched her head. “Like I can still feel him, hear his voice.”

“That’s normal, Taz. You’re still dealing with the pain, with fresh memories, and Matthias, too. All of us. That will fade. You’re so perceptive, still dealing with learning how to use your powers, it’s overwhelming.”

She looked out over the lake, over the mountains. “How long does it take?”

He took her hand in his. “Everyone’s different.” He checked the time. “Can I buy you dinner?”

She looked at the ground again and nodded. He squeezed her hand. “Come along, then.”

She realized he was driving a Land Rover, probably one of the ones from before. How had she missed it when she pulled in? Now that she thought about it, she had seen it but didn’t pay any attention to it when she parked.

“I was over by the bookstore,” he said in answer to her unspoken question. “You have no idea how hard I had to block my thoughts so you wouldn’t sense me. I wanted to give you time to yourself.”

“Thank you.”

He hugged her. “I’ll follow you, dear.”

They met back at the cabins. “Where are you staying?” she asked.

“I’ve got a room, over there.” He pointed to a cabin three buildings away. “Let me freshen up, and I’ll meet you here in about twenty minutes. All right?”

She nodded. She felt tired. While she was irritated he came after her, she was also glad he did. Better him than Matthias.

Tim called Albert, hoping Matthias wasn’t too close to arriving.

“Did you find her?” Albert asked.

“She’s fine. I caught up with her at West Thumb. She needs time to grieve, to get it out of her system. How did Matthias take it?”

“He hasn’t. I haven’t told him yet.”

Tim assumed he misheard him. “What?”

“If you’re with her, she’s safe. I’ll wait until tomorrow. That’ll give her another day.”

“Brother, you are amazing.”

“Just don’t let anything happen to her,” Albert cautioned. “He’ll kill both of us.”

They had a quiet table in a corner. He let Taz do the talking when she decided to. “I’m sorry I left like that.”

Tim made sure to keep his tone soft and gentle. “You scared him, Taz. You scared all of us.”

“I know. I just had to get out of there. Away. Just felt something pulling me. Especially after that crazy karaoke incident. I don’t want to lose control again.”

“I’ll hand it to you, you were smart.”

She smiled. “I learned from the best.”

He laughed. “Covering your tracks?”

“I didn’t want Matthias smothering me right now. I feel bad enough as it is.”

“We almost lost you, Taz. You were so close to dying at the end, we were afraid for you. He worries you’ll slip back into that and he won’t be there to help you. Or that someone will hurt you.”

She shook her head. “Don’t worry, I won’t. Never again.” She sighed. “It would be so much easier if it didn’t feel like he was still around, if it didn’t feel like I still had a connection to him.”

“Rafael?”

She nodded, staring at her plate. “I know Matthias told you what happened,” she whispered.

“Sweetheart, you were overwhelmed and upset. You were angry. Rafael—well, knowing him, I’m sure he enjoyed your succubus session.”

“But he died.”

“Not because of you, Taz.” He reached out and touched her hand. “Not because of what you did. Caroline killed him. She would have killed him regardless of what you did.”

“I acted like a spoiled brat. I’ve never been like that before.”

“And we keep telling you, it wasn’t your fault. This is why Matthias wanted to take years to gradually introduce you to your powers.”

“I never should have done it.”

“What’s done is done. It was a painful lesson, but you can’t change the past.”

She nodded and finally pushed her plate away, finished. Tim watched as she worked Rafael’s ring nervously with her thumb, eerily rubbing and twisting it the same way Rafael had.

“Never again. I won’t let myself hurt another person like that because I’m out of control. Ever.”

“You are learning to control your powers. That’s a good thing. You need to learn to put the past behind you. Don’t dwell on it, don’t let it rule your life.”

“What’s that expression about those who forget the past?”

“You won’t forget, Taz. Of that I have no doubt.”