Burial

39

It was the doorbell that woke him. Without it, he might have slept all knight.

It was Jacki. He let her in. He was wearing the same clothes as the night before. He hadn't washed or shaved. He was in his socks.

He said, 'Coffee?'

She thanked him and followed him down the hallway and into the kitchen. He put the kettle on to boil. The water began to hiss.

'I wanted to see how you were.'

He shrugged and thought, How do I look? "Have you seen her?'

'This afternoon,' said Jacki. 'She'll be all right. It's been a shock.

just give her time.'

She can have anything she wants.'

Jacki crossed her arms and nodded, looking at the floor.

He said, 'I should've listened to you. All those years ago.'

What's done is done.'

he took her coffee and blew across it, saying: 'My colleagues will need to ask more questions - as soon as you feel up to it.'

He erupted into goose flesh. He hoped she didn't see. 'What kind of questions? Am I in trouble?'

'Not at all. They'll just want the full picture. There's a bit of bruising around Mr Morrow's throat, for instance. They might want to ask about that.'

'I had to drag him off the sofa. He was so heavy. I hooked my elbow round his neck - like this - and kind of dragged him off 'You see. I knew it would be something like that. It's what I told them.'

'You already talked about it? Now you're making me nervous.'

'There's nothing to be nervous about. You just have to think very carefully about what happened last night.'

'Jesus, Jacki. You're freaking me out here.'

'I don't mean to. It's just that, people get a shock, they get confused.'

'I'm

thinking pretty clearly.'

'Are you thinking clearly about the second glass of whisky?'

There was a moment. He blinked it away.

'What?'

'There were two glasses of whisky. The one Morrow was drinking from. And a second glass. Almost untouched. Very dilute. Lots of water in it. Lots and lots of water.'

He had spat in it.

Jacki was still waiting.

'I poured myself a glass. After the paramedics arrived. To calm my nerves. Then I thought better of it.'

Jacki nodded. She was not smiling.

'There you are. You see? There's always an explanation. If you're given enough time to think. How are you sleeping?'

'Fine. As well as can be expected. I mean, not so bad. Why do you ask?'

'Holly tells me you haven't been sleeping well.'

'Christ, Jacki. I've been stressed.'

'Did you see a doctor about it?'

'I did, as it happens.'

'Good. And did he give you something to help?'

'He did, yes.'

'It wasn't temazepam, was it?'

'It was, yes.' He waited. Counted three breaths. 'Why?'

'Temazepam is what Bob Morrow used. A massive dose. The whisky amplified its effects.'

'Ah,' said Nathan, scratching now at his inner wrist.

'When did you see your doctor?'

'I don't know. A few days ago.'

'So you've still got the pills?'

He tapped ash into the sink.

'Actually, no I haven't. I never liked taking pills. I flushed them away, the minute I got home.'

'I'd do the same. Horrible things.'

'You can't sleep, it's better to just get through it.'

'Totally. The thing is, you might want to have some temazepam around. You know. For form's sake. Just in case someone mentions it.'

'Will they?'

'Probably not.'

He said, 'I'm not sure I'd know where to get some more, without ; going back to my doctor.'

'I'm sure you'll find a way. You're not stupid.'

Nathan tugged at an earlobe. 'I don't know what to say.'

'As it happens, Morrow's got a history of drug abuse - and one or two suicide attempts, back when he was younger. He went a bit funny. When his mum died.'

'I didn't know that.'

'I don't suppose he liked to talk about it. He was seventeen.

Difficult age to lose your mum.'

Nathan nodded.

'And the glass evidence, if it was evidence, was compromised. In all the rush, someone must have knocked it over. It got broken. It happens.'

'It must.'

'We're only human. So these things might not even come up. They probably won't.'

Nathan wet his lips with the tip of his tongue.

'Okay,' he said.

Jacki set down her mug and began to gather her things. She patted her pockets, looking for car keys. Thus distracted, she said, 'Give her time.'

'All the time she needs.'

Jacki got her coat and checked its pockets for the keys. The coat jingled. There they were.

Nathan said, 'You've always been a good friend to her.'

'Well, I made her a promise.'

She shrugged herself into her coat and said goodnight. She walked down the hallway, swinging the car keys from her index finger.