Carnal Secrets

CHAPTER FOUR

You seemed a little distracted today,” Kent told Shaya as they were slipping on their coats at the end of a long shift. “And you look real tired.”

She gave him a sardonic smile. “Such a polite way of telling me I look like shit.”

“Come on, tell me what’s wrong. You’re supposed to confide in me and make me feel important and special.” When she didn’t, he hit her in the chest with her own purse. “Spill.”

Hanging the purse over her shoulder, she frowned at him. “Hey, I don’t harass you about your private business. If I was going to do that, I’d say shame on you for flirting outrageously with another one of your clients.”

“I wasn’t flirting. I was being particularly nice to a particularly hot guy.”

“Uh-huh. Just try not to sleep with this one, okay?”

His mouth fell open. He followed behind her, spluttering, as she headed for the door. “I did not have sex with Mark.”

“No, of course not.…He had sex with you.”

“As a matter of fact, Mark’s not actually my client, he’s Paisley’s client. I was just filling in that day.”

“So it was you who did the filling and he who took—?” Stepping outside, her smile froze, as did her whole body, as she noticed the familiar figure leaning against a vehicle, waiting. Nick. Her stomach did about three flips, and her wolf instantly sat up, satisfied.

A part of Shaya had wondered if he’d keep to his word and come to give her a ride home, but that idea had been ruthlessly squashed by the distrustful part of her that had been born when Mason betrayed her; that part of her couldn’t bring herself to invest any hope in Nick. She wasn’t sure whether she was pleased or disappointed that he’d come, just like she hadn’t been sure earlier whether she was happy or annoyed when she had received a text message from him:

I had the urge to text somebody who’s smart, hot, and sweet…but sending messages to myself is just pathetic, so hi.

She had promised herself she would not laugh, but she hadn’t been able to hold back a smile. She really didn’t know what to do with this guy, but she knew one thing: she sure as hell wasn’t giving him any encouragement by getting in that car with him…even though her feet were throbbing and it was cold and she was exhausted and she knew from earlier that his car was so warm and comfortable.

Kent, being nosy, strained to see over her shoulder. “Could he be the source of your distractedness, I wonder.” She could hear the smile in his voice.

Moving aside, she allowed Kent to pass so he could shut the door and lock it behind them. Meanwhile, Nick was strolling slowly toward her with a predatory glint in his eyes. Although Kent was standing right there, Nick looked only at her. Having his intense focus on her was both daunting and thrilling. Her wolf loved it—the dangerous vibes he emitted didn’t faze her wolf at all, because she was confident her mate would never harm her.

Shaya wished that the possessiveness in that gaze could have annoyed her, but it instead comforted her…eased something inside her. Insecurities that she wished she didn’t have. His deep, rumbly, authoritative voice almost made her jump.

“Ready to go?”

“I’m praying someone spiked my coffee with some sort of hallucinogenic—the alternative that you’re truly here is much too depressing.”

If Nick’s wolf could have laughed, Nick was pretty sure he would have. Only Shaya ever had this effect on the animal’s mood. “I told you I’d be here when you finished work.”

“And I told you that I’m perfectly capable of getting myself home.” She noticed that Kent was staring at Nick in total admiration, fanning his face. When Kent looked at her, he mouthed, “Oh my God.” Typical.

“It’s just a ride.” Nick smiled innocently, shrugging. “Like you said earlier, a ride doesn’t mean anything.”

She narrowed her eyes. He was twisting her words and using them against her. Oh, that was sneaky. And smart, she could concede.

Kent offered Nick his hand. “As Shaya’s being rude, I’ll introduce myself. I’m Kent.”

Finally moving his gaze from Shaya, Nick shook what he knew was her boss’s hand—as he’d told Shaya, he’d ensured he knew what there was to know about her life. “Nick.” When the guy’s brow furrowed in confusion, Nick realized that Shaya had never spoken of him. And didn’t that hurt like a bitch. His wolf growled at that, wanting his role in her life to be noted. Nick was none too pleased about it either and thought about making it known right then. But he wanted Shaya to be the one to say who he was to her, wanted to hear her say it with pride rather than reluctantly through gritted teeth. “You’re a half-shifter,” observed Nick.

Kent nodded. “Very good. Not a lot of shifters are able to pick it up.”

Shaya was kind of surprised that Nick hadn’t firmly stated he was her mate. The guy was an extremely dominant alpha—the last thing he would want was any misconceptions about such a thing. Strangely, she found herself a little offended that Nick hadn’t cared enough to clear it up. He wasn’t even explaining that he was in town to see her. No, as he chatted to Kent, he was extremely vague, leaving his acquaintance with Shaya open to interpretation. Kent would undoubtedly think she and Nick had met in the last day or so. Again, she was offended.

God, what was wrong with her? One minute she wanted him gone, and the next minute she wanted him to declare she was his mate. But…maybe it wasn’t all that odd, considering that her pride had taken a huge blow when he rejected her, she mused. His failure to acknowledge what she was to him had stung like hell, and it seemed that a part of her still wanted that acknowledgment, wanted to know he was proud that she was his mate.

As if he sensed her inner struggle and was taken over by a reflexive need to comfort her, he came closer and began casually toying with one of her curls as he and Kent chatted about the local pack and the local group of human extremists. She slapped at his hand as if it was an annoying fly, but Nick either didn’t notice or didn’t care because he didn’t stop. So she slapped his hand harder. Without even glancing at her, he closed his hand around her offending one and nipped her ear punishingly. He then held her hand to his side, ignoring her struggle to reclaim it. Oddly enough, he seemed amused rather than frustrated.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if the Sequoia Pack wants to talk to you, wanting to know what you’re doing in town,” said Kent. “You’re not exactly inconspicuous.”

Nick smiled. “I’ve already had that ‘talk.’”

“What?” demanded Shaya. “You talked with the Sequoia Pack?” And why had “talk” sounded more like “fight”? “Nick, those guys aren’t good. Please tell me you’re not thinking of joining their pack.”

Liking the concern in her voice, Nick ran the tip of his finger over her bottom lip. “I have no interest in joining their pack or any other.” He chuckled when she slapped his hand again.

“If you ask me,” began Kent, “the humans have a good chance of getting those laws put in place. It’s shifters like the ones around here that give us a bad name.”

“Is there more than one pack here?” asked Nick.

“No. The rebels are a small number of wolves who left the Sequoia Pack, but they refuse to leave town, so fights break out often between them and members of the Sequoia Pack. The human extremists use it as evidence to support their argument that we’re wild and dangerous. The humans also know how the Nazi makes his money, but they have no way of proving it, so they follow him everywhere, desperate to pin something on him. The rebels are closely watched by humans too, but they don’t have a permanent tail.”

“So the extremists in this town are particularly active?”

“Yes.” Kent gestured over Nick’s shoulder. “And I think they wish to speak to you. They’re at the end of the street, and they’re slowly coming this way.”

Nick had sensed them approaching before Kent’s response. A white van had been following him and Derren around all day, and he’d figured it was the extremists—shifters wouldn’t have delayed a confrontation for that long. He’d known it would only be a matter of time before they came to speak to him. Turning, he replied, “So I see.”

The dark edge to his tone made Shaya shiver. In a millisecond, he had gone straight from gentle and cool to commanding and assertive. But that was the thing about Nick. Despite his casual posture, despite how supremely composed he seemed and his way of always seeming at total ease with his surroundings, he was never truly relaxed. He was constantly alert, ready to act. That dark energy he was loaded with was now radiating from him. It was a reminder of just how dangerous he was—like she needed that reminder. Although with her he could be gentle, she got the feeling that she might be the exception.

“Shay, I need you to get in the SUV with Derren.” His wolf growled at the sight of the hateful humans slowly and cautiously approaching; he didn’t want them anywhere near his mate.

“Derren?” she echoed, confused. It was only then that she noticed his SUV was parked behind Nick’s Mercedes.

“Take Kent with you.”

Before Shaya could say a word, Kent slipped his arm into hers and began dragging her to the SUV. Derren was out of the vehicle and holding the rear door open for them.

“In,” urged Kent, shoving her inside.

A part of her wanted to stay with Nick, particularly as her natural soothing aura might just stop the confrontation from escalating. But she had to consider that her presence out there might instead cause the confrontation to get out of control—for her to be around the extremists would make Nick’s wolf frantic enough to snap easily. Besides, presenting a united front was what mated pairs did, and they weren’t mated. Her wolf growled and snapped her teeth at Shaya, unhappy with her refusal to stand at their mate’s side in any case.

When Derren returned to the driver’s seat, Shaya frowned. “Shouldn’t you be out there with him?”

“He’ll be fine.”

“You don’t think they’ll attack him?”

He shot her an odd look in the rearview mirror. “Would you care if they did?”

“Of course I’d care.” She might not want to mate with him, but she didn’t want him hurt.

Derren returned his eyes to the spectacle outside. “If they have any sense, they won’t dare threaten him, let alone attack him.”

Distracting her, Kent elbowed her and gestured at Derren. “Sorry, Kent this is Derren, Nick’s bodyguard. Derren, this is Kent, my friend and boss.”

Kent cocked his head, confused. “Nick has a bodyguard?”

“Actually, he said he fired him.”

Derren smiled. “He did. Repeatedly.”

“So why do you stay with him?” She remembered Nick had said it was “personal.”

Without removing his gaze from what was happening outside, he replied, “A few reasons. The main one is I owe him my life.”

That had been unexpected. “And you’re going to stay with him until you’ve returned the favor,” she guessed.

“No. I want to ensure that there’s never a reason for me to have to return the favor.”

“In other words, you’ll always be at his side trying to protect him.” Which was weird. “Are you, like, gay?”

“Depends if I’m in prison or not.” Hearing her gasp, he threw her an amused sideways glance. “Kidding. Be assured I have no designs whatsoever on your mate.”

Kent gawked. “Nick’s your mate?”

Derren gave her an indecipherable look in the rearview mirror. “You didn’t tell him?” There was a big dose of disappointment in his voice. “Whatever you think about Nick, he didn’t choose the position of Alpha over you. He never wanted the position in the first place.”

That surprised her. “Then why did he take it?”

“You’ll have to ask him.”

Seeing that the crowd of humans was now directly in front of Nick, she asked, “Are you sure you shouldn’t be with him?” Derren merely shrugged carelessly.

“You don’t know your mate very well if you think he needs me.”

That comment hurt…because it was true.

“Nick’s a very powerful shifter,” Derren continued. “Much like his wolf, he can be cold, remote, and calculated when he needs to be. Put all that together, and you have a lethal individual. That’s why when he’s angry, people pay attention. And he’s not happy right now.”

“If you truly believe he doesn’t need you, why look out for him?”

“The problem with Nick is that he’ll do anything he has to do to protect the people he believes he’s responsible for. Anything. It means he can be a little reckless with his own life.”

Seeing the almost rabid look on Nick’s face, she asked, “Reckless, or just plain crazy?”

Derren’s lips twitched. “A bit of both.”

“Wow, he’s practically bleeding power,” said Kent with a gasp.

“Yup,” said Derren. “Let’s sit back and watch the show. Wait, is that…? Son of a bitch!”

It wasn’t the first time Nick had found himself surrounded by a group of prejudiced humans. But it was the first time that he was close to losing his self-control—and all because the leader of this particular extremist group was very familiar, and very much despised by Nick and his wolf. He knew he was vibrating with anger; it was taking everything he had not to gut the bastard.

Wearing a ruthless scowl, the human stepped forward, practically spilling hatred and senseless narrow-mindedness. But there was also fear there. “I know you’re a shifter. Don’t bother denying it. I can easily identify one. What I don’t know is your name.”

“You get three guesses,” replied Nick. “But if you get it wrong, your firstborn’s mine.”

“Well, we’ve established that you’re a smartass.”

“Only around stupid people. I’m guessing you’re the leader of the prejudiced humans.”

“Not prejudiced,” the human told Nick. “Enlightened. I want to know what you and your friend are doing in my town.”

“As I told the Sequoia Pack, my business is my business.”

The human’s expression hardened. “This is my town. Trust me when I say that out of the Nazi and me, I’m the one you need to worry about.”

Nick arched a brow. “Really? Then why are you so afraid I can smell it?” His wolf loved the scent of his fear, wanted more of it.

The human froze. “You think if you make my men here believe I’m scared of you, they’ll leave my side?” he scoffed, taking a few aggressive steps forward. “It’s very much for your own good that you leave.”

“Oh, is that so?” As Nick came toward him and invaded the human’s personal space, the guy’s confidence faltered at the power and dominance and alpha energy that spilled from Nick.

The human’s voice was shaky as he continued. “Understand right now that if you choose to stay, I will be watching you. The first mistake you make, I’ll be on you so quick, you won’t know what hit you.”

“Forgive me if I’m not quivering with fear, Logan.” Seeing the surprise on the human’s face, Nick smiled. But it wasn’t a nice smile. “You don’t remember me? Because I sure remember you,” he rumbled.

The human cocked his head, studying Nick intensely. Then his eyes widened. Wariness crept into his expression, and the fear in his scent intensified.

“That’s right,” said Nick, his voice thick with anger. “I also remember how you get your kicks, just like I remember defending myself from you a number of times. Funny isn’t it that you say you hate our kind, but you sure enjoyed sexually abusing the shifters in that place?”

“What’s he talking about?” one of the humans asked Logan.

“I’m talking about the time that your leader worked as a guard in a shifter juvenile prison. Logan has a thing for young boys. I fought him off a number of times. Yeah…those aren’t good memories for me.” Nick gave Logan a pointed look. “So that presents you with a problem.”

“Are you threatening me?” Logan swallowed hard.

“I’m merely pointing out the facts.” Nick shrugged. “Trying to take me on always ended badly for you in the past. You simply might want to take that into consideration. It’s a smart man who learns from his mistakes. Speaking of mistakes…how’s your shoulder? Many people say that once you have an injury to the shoulder, it’s never the same again. That true?” On one of the occasions that the sick prick had tried to touch him, Nick had dislocated his shoulder.

Logan’s bitter expression confirmed that Nick was right. “How can what happened be abuse when you’re not people, you’re animals?”

Nick raised a brow. “So it’s bestiality that gives you your kicks? Wow.”

After a tense silence, Logan backed up a little. “I’ll be watching you, Axton. You’ll slip up, and I’ll be waiting.”

“Sure you will.” Nick’s expression warned him to move away. Logan wisely retreated, along with the others. Only when the humans had driven away did Nick move his eyes from the white van. Striding over to the SUV, he saw a scowling Derren lowering his window. “I take it you recognized Logan.” Nick’s words were barely understandable while anger was still bubbling inside him.

Gritting his teeth, Derren nodded. “All I wanted right then was to jump out of the SUV and rip his throat out.”

Nick sighed heavily. “I have more self-control than most people, but I nearly killed the bastard myself.”

“You were right not to,” said Derren. “There are too many witnesses. His time will come.”

“You know him?” Shaya asked Nick and Derren.

Forcing down his anger as best he could, Nick opened the rear passenger door. He didn’t move to let her pass, though. “Unfortunately, yes. You okay?” He knew his voice was still strained with anger, but he couldn’t soften it yet. He inhaled deeply, taking Shaya’s scent inside his lungs and using it to calm him. But the only thing that could totally calm him right then was the feel of her, and that wasn’t something he could indulge in.

Shaya nodded, wanting to know how he knew the human but conscious that his wolf was extremely tense right now. Revisiting what just happened would make things worse. “Fine.”

“Derren’s going to give you a ride home.” Nick didn’t trust himself alone with her while he was this wound up. The impulse to kiss her and hold her was too strong to ignore, especially when she would provide the calm he so needed.

The overprotectiveness got her back up. Making her even more pissed, Shaya found that she actually wanted to be with Nick and wanted to comfort him. It was instinctive—he was her mate, and something was clearly paining him. But that instinct made her want to slap herself. “He doesn’t need to—”

Nick ignored her. “Kent, do you need a ride home?”

“No, thanks,” he replied as he hopped out of the other side of the vehicle. “I have my MINI Cooper.”

Nick gave him a brief nod and then returned his attention to Shaya. “I’ll see you in the—”

Frustrated, Shaya went to get out of the SUV, but then she froze at the low warning growl that rumbled out of him.

“I can’t be around you right now, Shay. And I think you know why. But if you really insist on Derren not taking you home, I’ll do it myself regardless. The problem is I can’t guarantee I won’t touch you.” There was no way he’d let her walk home on such a cold evening. No mate would. When she opened her mouth to object again, he gave her a look that said he’d argue with her all night if he had to. Eventually she sighed and slumped in her seat. “Good girl. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Go squat and piss up a tree, asshole.”

He almost smiled at that. “Right.”

A few hours later, Nick was in his motor home tossing several pills into his mouth. These days, he took so many pills so often that he was surprised he didn’t rattle as he walked.

Derren shook his head from his seat at the U-shaped black leather dinette. “You didn’t tell me the headaches were happening so close together.”

Nick forced a careless shrug. “Why would I? It’s not important.”

“You can’t afford to be flippant about this, Nick.”

“The healing sessions worked, remember? As I recall, you were one of the people telling me not to let fear rule my actions and to go after Shaya.”

“I was also one of the people who heard Amber tell you the symptoms might return.”

Nick slumped onto the black leather sofa bed opposite the dinette, his eyes shut, pinching the bridge of his nose. Bruce joined him on the sofa and butted his shoulder, hinting for some attention. With his free hand, Nick began scratching him between the ears. “They’re just headaches, Derren. Bad, yes. Frequent, yes. But they’re still just headaches.”

Exasperation filled Derren’s voice. “Look, I get why you’re refusing to consider this might be something to worry about. And I get that you don’t want to let Shaya down again. But this is one time you can’t afford to risk yourself for other people. This is serious.”

Nick’s eyes flipped open. “You think I don’t know that? If at any time I’m convinced the symptoms are coming back and the healing sessions failed, I’ll leave. I don’t want Shaya being my caregiver. Unless that happens, I’m staying where I am.”

There was a short pause before Derren sighed. “Fine. Off topic, do you think Logan will be smart enough to leave you alone?”

“Nope. He has a score to settle—not just because I dislocated his shoulder once, but because I always managed to fight him off and intervened many times he tried abusing other shifters. Plus, I’m guessing he knows just how badly I’d like to hurt him. It would suit him if I retaliated, and he probably thinks that it won’t take much to make that happen.”

“You think he’ll spend his time trying to rile you, trying to get a violent response from you to support the extremists’ argument?”

“Think about it: If he can rile me enough to attack him, he can present an argument to the court that an alpha male who spent time in juvie isn’t reformed after all, that he’d attacked humans again. That will go a long way to proving that the current way of dealing with offending shifters isn’t working and that some changes are necessary.”

Derren shook his head, blowing out a breath. “Shit, Nick, you really need to leave this place. Any shifter with any sense is keeping a low profile while the court hearing is due.”

“I said Logan wants a reaction—I didn’t say he’d get it.” No matter what Logan or the other humans did, nothing would provoke him enough to retaliate. Not simply because being cooped up in a prison again would most likely send his wolf totally over the edge, but because behind bars would count as leaving Shaya again. He couldn’t do that. Nor could he add fuel to the current fire created by the human extremists—he would be letting down his entire race if he did that.

Derren rested his arms on the cherry wood table that the dinette framed. The wood ran throughout the entire motor home. “What if Shaya doesn’t come around? She’s angry, Nick.”

“She has a right to be.”

“No, she doesn’t, but she thinks she does because you haven’t told her everything. Right now, when she looks at you she sees a person who rejected and abandoned her. She sees someone she can’t rely on and who has every reason to suffer. When she finds out she put you through shit you didn’t deserve, she’s going to be pissed with you, and she’s going to feel guilty when it’s not her fault. That’s not fair to either of you.”

“You don’t like her, do you?”

“I don’t like that she’s not willing to give you a second chance.”

“Wait until you find your mate,” said Nick with a half smile. “Any emotion you feel is magnified tenfold, particularly pain. She’s right to be so reluctant.”

Derren gave him a “whatever” look. “I still say you should tell her everything.”

“I heard you. Now, are we playing poker or what? I’ve missed kicking your ass at it.”

“There’d be no sport in winning against a guy whose head is pounding so badly that he can’t even see properly. But as I don’t have a particularly fussy conscience, let’s play.”