Carnal Secrets

CHAPTER FIVE

Finding Nick again waiting by his car with a Starbucks coffee for her the next morning, Shaya thought he looked a lot calmer. She, by contrast, wasn’t so calm. “You know, you and Derren are unbelievably alike. Neither of you can take a hint, and neither of you pay any attention to what other people want.” She still snatched one of the coffee cups, though.

As always, Nick and his wolf were amused by the snippy side of her nature. “Such charming manners.” When he tucked a stray curl behind her ear, she predictably slapped his hand away.

Shaya went to take a sip of the coffee but then stopped. “Wait, this isn’t the one you’ve been drinking out of, is it?”

“You ask that like I have an infectious disease or something.”

She shrugged. “I just don’t like sharing straws or glasses or cups with other people.”

“Really?”

“It’s one of my quirks.”

He raised a brow. “You have others?”

“Yes. I paint my nails when I’m extremely pissed off. I sleep diagonally. I have a serious issue with birds. I always lose my pens. And I hate using public bathrooms—I would rather hold it in until I get home. Even using the one at work is hard.”

Laughing, Nick opened the passenger door and gestured for her to hop in. Bruce was inside, lounging on the backseat. “I’ll give you a ride to work again.”

“I’m perfectly capable of getting there by myself, thanks.” In honesty, though, the offer was tempting since she was exhausted after another restless night—stress was a bitch. Not even going for a run in her wolf form in the wooded area behind her house had helped.

“I’ll even let you drive.”

That had her attention, and his smug smirk said he knew it. “Yeah, right.”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“Because boys are weird like that—they don’t like anyone else even touching their car.”

“You’re my mate. What’s mine is yours.” He dangled the keys in front of her, watching her try to wrestle back her eagerness. But then movement in his peripheral vision caught his attention.

As his expression switched from playful to alert, she followed his gaze. Three males were gathered at the end of the street, casting subtle looks their way. “Aren’t they the rebels?”

Sensing her wolf’s nervousness, Nick closed the small distance between them. “It’s fine.” They didn’t appear to be looking for trouble, but he wouldn’t risk Shaya’s safety. “Well, are you driving or am I driving?”

Shaya regarded him curiously. “You’re not going to turn into an overprotective caveman and shove me in your car because strange males are lurking nearby?” It would be a typical reaction for a dominant male wolf.

“No, but I am hoping you’ll do the sensible thing and accept a ride.”

She wanted to, but that might insinuate to him that he was making progress with her. “I like to walk.” Rather than explode, he shrugged one shoulder.

“Then we walk.”

“I didn’t mean—” She growled. “Do you have to be such a pain in the ass?”

Cupping her chin, he ran his thumb over her bottom lip and seized her gaze with his. “Shay, I don’t know what those guys want, but I do know that I have no intention of letting them harm you. If that means pissing you off this morning by sticking by you as you make your way to work, that’s what I’ll do. I need to know you’re safe.”

She could point out that he had no right to appear after six months and appoint himself as her guardian, but that would be futile because he’d stick to her side no matter what she said if he believed her safety was at risk. Arguing with him would be fruitless and would only make her even later for work than she already was. “If I’m going to suffer your company this morning, I’ll do it in the comfort of your car. You drive. I want to drink my coffee.”

Satisfied, Nick nodded. She grumbled something about paranoid dominant males as she slid into the passenger seat. Now that she was in the safety of the car, he shot the rebels a challenging stare, but they didn’t respond. So what the hell did they want? Shoving aside the issue for now, he hopped inside the car.

Noticing Derren in the side mirror making his way from the motor home to his SUV, Shaya asked, “Did he sleep there last night?”

Pulling out onto the road, Nick nodded. “I told him he could use the comfort of my home to get a good night’s rest if he promised to go back to California this morning.”

“You know he won’t go, don’t you?”

Nick sighed. “Derren does what Derren wants to do. He’s always been like that.”

“He doesn’t like me.” She cringed at how petulant she sounded.

“He can’t make that assessment—he doesn’t know you.”

“Neither do you.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, baby. I know that you love dancing, drink mainly cocktails, have more stilettos than is reasonable, you don’t like mushrooms or anchovies, and you enjoy listening to music and sketching clothes.”

Startled, words failed her. He’d always ignored her, sometimes even looked right through her, so how could he know anything? “But…but how? You asked Taryn?”

“I told you the first night I came here that I’d missed watching you. I might not have spoken to you whenever I went to Phoenix Pack territory, but I was always paying attention to every single thing you did.”

And that got to her, soothed her wolf’s damaged ego. He was supposed to be an ass so she could continue rejecting him.

“I know you thought I didn’t give a shit.” He briefly massaged her nape. “That’s my fault. Derren used to poke fun at me for how much and how hard I watched you.”

Shaya tried to hold back from asking, but the matter had been playing on her mind since Derren had mentioned it. “He said he owes you his life. Is that true?”

“He owes me nothing. Maybe when he finds his mate, he’ll finally stop following me around.” Derren deserved that kind of happiness, but Nick wasn’t sure if his friend would even recognize his mate while his loyalty was so completely and unnecessarily devoted to Nick.

Part of the reason that Derren was so grateful to him for being alive was that he had been completely determined to track down and kill the person responsible for him being locked up—it had been the only thing keeping Derren going while he was in juvie. Having heard his story, Nick had been able to understand why. That was why he had helped Derren track the bastard down—a bastard who was now very much dead. The problem was that it had made Derren feel even further indebted to Nick. Dumb asshole.

She should leave it alone, Shaya knew. She should act disinterested. But as she was way too curious for that, she lasted only a few minutes before blurting out, “How did you save his life? In a pack war or something?”

Nick inhaled deeply, hesitating to speak. He really didn’t want to tell her about his past, but he was already keeping so much from her. Telling her at least some things would be fair. Plus, being tight-lipped would lessen his chances of her letting him in. “When we were in juvie—”

“You were in juvie?” Shaya practically squeaked.

“—a group of human guards cornered him and were torturing him with electrical rods and Taser guns while at the same time beating the shit out of him. It looked like they intended to rape him too before finishing him off. That kind of thing happened a lot. Many shifters die in juvie. I intervened and stopped Derren from being one of those very unlucky shifters.”

It took at least two minutes for her to recover from the surprise of his admission. It hadn’t just been what he’d said, it had also been the way he’d said it—emotionless, flat. But she knew better than to think that Nick was aloof about it all. She’d quickly come to understand that the more enraged Nick was, the more toneless his voice became. After giving him a few minutes to calm down, she finally asked, “How did you end up in juvie? What happened?” When he didn’t answer, she pressed him. “Nick?”

“We’re here.” He pulled up outside the salon, relieved to be able to escape the conversation.

Feeling like she’d been dismissed, both Shaya and her wolf bristled. If he wanted to be cagey, fine. Whatever. But, really, it wasn’t fine. Not simply because she was extremely intrigued, but because she wanted to know more about him. Wasn’t that her right?

Realizing she was again being weird, she cursed herself. She shouldn’t be sulking because he hadn’t confided in her. This should be what she wanted. Sharing stories would counteract her effort to keep a distance between them. Trying for nonchalant, she shrugged. “I shouldn’t have asked. Your past is your business.” Before she could open the door, a hand was curling around her throat and turning her head slightly. At the dominant move, her wolf backed down a little.

“I’m not disregarding you,” Nick told her in a low voice. “I just don’t want to scare you off. I don’t have pretty stories wrapped in red bows, Shay. I don’t have fun memories to exchange with you. I wish I did, but I don’t.” He drew circles on her throat with his thumb. “I meant it when I said you deserve better, but I also meant it when I said I wasn’t selfless enough to leave you alone. I can’t risk you running even faster than you already are.” As she nervously licked her bottom lip, a growl rumbled out of him. “Do you have any idea how much I want you? Any idea how much I want to know what’s like to be buried deep inside you?”

At that moment, Shaya had that deer-in-the-headlights feeling. His strong hand was around her throat, tension was riding his body, and his hungry gaze was trained on her mouth—feeding the need that was twisting her insides. It occurred to her just how vulnerable she was—how easily he could hurt her, and just how badly he could hurt her. But he never would, she was certain of that.

Before he lost control and kissed her, Nick released her throat and leaned back. “You need to go.”

Swallowing hard, she nodded. “Thanks for the ride. Bye, Bruce.” The dog merely looked at her blankly.

Once Shaya was inside the salon, Nick moved his gaze to the rearview mirror. Yep, the red Rolls-Royce was still a little distance behind Derren. The car had been following them for the past two minutes. Irritatingly, a white van was also following—the same white van that the human extremists used. Deeply suspecting that the Rolls-Royce was the Nazi’s car and that he had something to say, Nick drove away from the salon, not wanting him anywhere near Shaya. As he suspected, the Rolls-Royce followed him to the local park where Nick had yesterday taken Bruce. Similarly, so did the white van.

As Nick parked in the small, half-empty parking lot at the edge of the park, Derren’s SUV took the space on his left, and the Rolls-Royce took the space opposite Nick’s car. The van pulled up a few cars away from the Rolls-Royce. As Nick got a glimpse of the driver of the van, he noticed the familiar profile. Logan. Fucker.

Ignoring the two vehicles, Nick and Derren began walking along the narrow dirt path through the wooded area with Bruce at Nick’s side. A few minutes later, five wolf shifters came close enough to warrant a reaction—one of whom was the bald male shifter who had confronted Nick the day before. In response to the tension, Bruce growled at the strangers.

“I don’t think he likes me very much,” said an olive-skinned male with deep-brown eyes. If Nick hadn’t vaguely recognized him, he would have known it was the Nazi by the dominant alpha vibes emitting from him. “But that’s fine. Not many do.” He looked hard at Nick, attempting to stare him down, to intimidate him into lowering his gaze. Like that would ever happen. “You attacked four of my wolves yesterday.”

“They were irritating me,” said Nick dryly.

“That made me very unhappy.”

“As it’s your fault, you might want to take up that matter with yourself.”

He laughed. “My fault?”

“You ordered them to summon a wolf who is not only much more dominant than them, but an alpha. What did you expect would happen?”

The amusement fled from his expression and tone. “I expected you to be smart enough to speak to me.”

“I have no interest in you or your pack. But if it’s a brief conversation you want, we can have that now.”

“I suppose we should start by introducing ourselves. I’m Petrus Hadley.”

Nick could see that Hadley expected some sort of reaction, so he didn’t give him one. “Nick Axton.”

Hadley went into deep thought for a moment. “Nick Axton, Alpha of the Ryland Pack?”

“Previous Alpha of the Ryland Pack. I’m no longer Alpha or part of the pack.”

“You’ve joined another?”

“No.”

“A Pack Alpha’s turned lone wolf? I have to ask myself why an alpha as powerful as you would live without a pack. You’re too powerful for anyone to have forced you out, so you must have left of your own accord.” Hadley shook his head. “I don’t get it.”

“You don’t need to. It’s not your concern.”

Hadley stepped forward. “This is my turf. Therefore, any of your business—”

“Is mine and mine alone,” Nick firmly stated. His wolf growled his agreement.

A minute of complete silence passed. “There are only two things that make men do stupid things—women and greed. After spotting you with a redhead, I’m guessing that in your case, it’s a woman. I’m also guessing that while you’re here, you won’t involve yourself in pack business.” That was more of a pressing suggestion than a query.

“As I said, I’ve no interest in you and your pack.”

“Good. If things remain that way, you and I won’t have a problem. But if they don’t…What’s your redhead’s name, by the way?”

Son of a bitch. Nick stepped forward. “You know, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were threatening my mate. But I have to be mistaken, because if that was the case, I’d have to kill you—and I’m pretty sure you’d prefer to live.”

A smile spread across Hadley’s face. “She’s your mate? Well that explains everything. And now I feel so much better.” His expression turned grave as he continued. “That’s not all that I wanted to speak to you about. I’m sure you’ve heard the ‘drug lord’ rumor and how many of my wolves abruptly vanish.”

“Rumor? You’re saying it’s untrue?”

“Although you haven’t been in town long, you may have noticed that the human extremists here are somewhat eccentric. They started the drug lord rumor in an effort to blacken my reputation. It makes me the perfect suspect each time one of my wolves goes missing.”

Hearing the pain and anger in Hadley’s voice, Nick’s skepticism began to fizzle away. “You have nothing to do with their disappearances?”

“It took me some time to figure out what was happening. The humans running this thing are very smart and very careful.”

“Running what?”

“A game preserve.”

His wolf went still. “Game preserve?”

“From what I’ve learned, they kidnap shifters, dump them in the middle of nowhere, and then track them and chase them, running them down like they’re dogs.”

Derren studied Hadley through narrowed eyes. “What about the trio of packless wolves who hang around town, the rebels? If the rumors about you are untrue, why would they leave your pack?”

“Each of them lost close ones to these humans,” replied Hadley. “The longer I went without finding the people responsible, the more the rebels began to wonder if I truly had something to do with it, so they left. I have some of my wolves keeping watch over them. Out there all alone, they’re easy prey.”

“Why haven’t you shut the preserve down?” asked Nick.

“I haven’t yet found it. As I said, these humans are smart and careful. Imagine how much money they can make from charging prejudiced and hateful humans to hunt us like that? They’ll also be very much aware of how bad the repercussions would be if their little secret was discovered—not only would they have shifters on their ass, but their own kind. Currently extremists are making out like we’re the monsters. If that place is exposed, it would pretty much cancel out their argument.”

And exposing it would therefore be the answer to the prayer of every single shifter in the world. “I’ll contact some people I know, ask them to find out what they can about this preserve and see if they can locate it.”

“People you can trust to keep it quiet? I don’t want the humans being tipped off that we know. It would give them the time to pack up and run.”

“Yes, people I can trust. Keep me updated on what you know, and I’ll do the same.”

Hadley considered that for a minute, studying Nick and Derren intently. Then he nodded. “You should be careful. You may be powerful, but you’re easy prey without a pack, just like your friend here. If your mate is a shifter, she’ll be in similar danger. I’d feel uncomfortable leaving you unprotected, given that you’re on my territory.”

“Protection won’t be necessary.”

“I’ve heard a lot about you, heard just who and how many shifters you’re allied with—including shifters other than wolves, which is a rare thing. The last thing I need is something happening to you and then a horde of pissed-off shifters turns up here, holding me responsible to some degree for not protecting your ass. So if it’s all the same to you, I’ll be putting some people on you in any case.” Before Nick could respond, Hadley was walking away.

When the Nazi and his wolves were out of hearing distance, Derren said, “At first I thought he might be talking shit about the preserve, but he was definitely telling the truth.”

Nick could agree with that. “I wouldn’t be surprised if Logan has something to do with it. I remember full well just how he and the other guards liked to chase and hunt the shifters back in juvie.”

“Me too,” growled Derren. “It would make sense that extremists are behind its creation, even if Logan isn’t personally involved.”

“Whatever the case, it needs to be stopped.”

“It will be. Many of the Nazi’s wolves have been lost to this preserve—no Alpha would let that alone. I’m not surprised he’s put guards on you.”

“Great,” snorted Nick. “More people following me.”

Derren grinned. “You’ve always had a natural talent for getting people’s attention.”

“Now it’s time to get my mate’s attention. Let’s just hope my little plan works.”

As Shaya once again looked at the gift Nick had sent her, she resisted the urge to groan. He hadn’t bought her flowers or chocolates—things she could have rolled her eyes at, considering how little thought and creativity would have gone into the gifts on his part. Nor had he written her a soppy poem or a lovey-dovey card—corny things she could have scoffed at. Nor had he bought her jewelry or perfume—expensive stuff that would have given her an excuse to claim he was trying to buy her. No…he’d bought her something funny, something that would make her laugh. Something that Kent was again playing with, making her want to snatch it back. So she did. “Hands off.”

“Ooh, possessive.” Kent chuckled and went back to tidying the salon, ready to close up. “I think this is hilarious.”

“What’s funny about a Public Toilet Survival Kit?” In truth, the only reason she wasn’t chuckling with him was that she was annoyed—Nick was being nice, something he most likely wasn’t experienced at. But he was trying. For her. And it was getting to her.

“I’m guessing you told him about your phobia of public toilets.”

She had only told him this morning, and already he was on top of it. There was no denying he was sharp. The gift hadn’t been the only thing to make her smile. No. Not long after the gift had arrived, she’d received a text message from him:

Ever played Simon Says naked?

She wanted to feel furious with him for sending her messages when not only had she not given him her number, but she’d made it clear that she wanted him to leave. Instead—like yesterday—she found herself trying and failing to stifle an amused smile whenever she thought of the text.

“Why are you so irritated?” Kent asked quietly, conscious of Paisley’s presence. “Your mate bought you something that would make you smile—what’s bad about it?”

“I don’t want him to make me smile,” she said, sounding petulant. “I want to keep detesting him.”

“He’s who you ran from,” Kent said in sudden realization. “Tell me everything.”

So she did. But Kent’s reaction wasn’t what she’d anticipated. Rather than being outraged on her behalf, he was sighing dreamily. “It’s so romantic, isn’t it?”

She gaped. “How do you figure that?”

“Well obviously the rejection part wasn’t nice. But look what he’s done for you. He didn’t just give up his position of Alpha, he gave up his pack, his home—everything. Then he spent six months tracking you down and didn’t give up. He hasn’t asked you to go back to his pack, and he’s even offered to join yours. Do you have any idea how hard it would be for someone like him to be in a pack and not be Alpha? Yet he’s willing to do it. He’s practically camping outside your house, and he’s trying to make himself part of your life while still going at your pace—going completely against every alpha instinct he has. You’re not looking at things this way because you don’t want to; you don’t want to be tempted to give him a chance.”

She spluttered. “Would you?”

“Hell yes, he’s devastatingly hot! He’s got such a commanding presence, hasn’t he? I’ll bet he’s just as commanding in bed. I’ve never been with an alpha before. Can I borrow him?”

Hearing herself growl, she wanted to slap herself for the knee-jerk possessive reaction. She was so mixed up right now. She had almost asked Taryn for advice when they had chatted over Skype last night, but she was too worried that Taryn would react extremely badly to finding out that Nick had tracked her down.

“What are you two whispering about?” asked an approaching Paisley, wearing her usual bitchy scowl.

“The weather,” replied Kent.

Paisley rolled her eyes. “Don’t think I don’t know that you’re talking about me behind my back. I’m not stupid.”

Shaya and Kent exchanged an amused look. “Of course you’re not,” he assured the blonde, patting her hand. “No one would ever insinuate otherwise.”

Appearing slightly mollified, she gave him a nod. As Kent went off to grab his coat, Paisley threw Shaya a look filled with utter contempt. “I don’t blame him. It’s you. Don’t think I’ll let you turn him against me. I can’t believe he’s even friends with you. His mom should have told him not to play with matchsticks.”

Oh, enough with the red hair jokes! “Don’t things like you hibernate?”

Paisley smirked. “Easy there, ginger ninja.”

“You do realize that my hair isn’t actually ginger, don’t you? It’s red. As a hairstylist, you should know the difference. No, as a person with eyes, you should know the difference.”

“Whatever you say, Agent Orange.”

Bitch. “Oops, I’ve dropped my clip by your feet.” Crouching, Shaya gently placed her hands over Paisley’s black pumps. “Spread ’em, blondie. Bet you’ve heard that a lot before.”

She gasped. “How crude!” Paisley looked about to snap when something over Shaya’s shoulder caught her attention and she smiled in admiration. “My, my, my.”

Clearly an attractive guy had just walked in. Shaya stood, turned…and gaped as Nick breezed into the salon. His eyes immediately found her, and a small smile curved his mouth. He took slow, confident steps toward her. Off-balance by his totally undivided attention, Shaya might have backed away if she hadn’t felt rooted to the spot by that unblinking stare. Her wolf, too, had frozen.

“Can I help you?” Paisley’s voice was seductive and filled with promise. She had also put on her best invitational smile, but Nick didn’t spare the bitch a glance; he continued to stare at Shaya as if no one else was of any importance. Shaya kind of liked that.

Coming to stand in front of Shaya, Nick fought back the urge to reach out, drag her to him, and take what was his. The need emanating from her wasn’t helping. Spotting his gift at her station, he grinned. “So it came.” Humor danced in her eyes, making his grin widen.

“Oh, hi,” drawled Kent as he returned to Shaya’s side, smiling widely at Nick. “I take it you’ve come to give her a ride home again. Fabulous. It’s chilly out there.” He shoved at Shaya’s back. “See you tomorrow, bright and late.”

Shaya scowled at her supposed friend. “I don’t need a ride. I’m—”

“Perfectly capable of getting yourself home,” Nick finished. “But why would you want to walk when you can be chauffeured around?” Curling an arm around her shoulders, Nick led her toward the door.

Shaya might have fought him—then again, she might not have—but the expression on Paisley’s face stopped her. There was a little too much admiration and lust there for Shaya’s liking. Although Shaya didn’t want to want Nick, she didn’t want Paisley thinking he was available either. Maybe that was petty.…Okay, it was definitely petty. But she did not like the thought of Nick with someone else, and she especially did not relish the idea of another female pursuing him.

Inside the car, Nick asked, “Well, did you like your gift?”

Shaya snorted. “It has to be the least romantic thing I’ve ever been given.”

He grinned. “It made you smile. Admit it. You like it.”

Admit it? Pfft. “You can take it back, in any case. I don’t like receiving gifts.” It always made her feel awkward.

“You better get used to it, Shay, because I plan to do it again.”

She was about to give a cocky comment when she noticed he was staring right at her mouth. Her breath seemed to get trapped in her throat, and instantly the memory of their kiss assailed her. The heated look on his face said that he was recalling it too.

Shaking off his fantasies of just how Nick could use that sensual mouth of hers, he began driving en route to Shaya’s home. “Hungry?”

Depends what kind of hunger you’re referring to. But Shaya knew what he meant—she had smelled the spicy curry the second she got in the car. He had clearly gotten takeout and was hoping they could share it together. “I told you yesterday—letting you give me a ride somewhere doesn’t mean anything.”

Nick frowned. “I don’t understand.”

“Giving me a ride and then buying me Indian food isn’t going to make me suddenly let you into my home.”

Realizing where her thoughts had taken her, he drawled, “Oh. I’m afraid you’re a little mistaken. I didn’t buy you takeout. I cooked you a meal—a meal for you, not for both of us to enjoy together.” He had no intention of pushing things, pushing her.

“You cooked me a meal?”

“You’ve been on your feet all day. I figured the last thing you’d want to do was cook at the end of it. This means you have one less thing to worry about when you get inside.”

Shaya really didn’t know what to do with that. There was no denying he had an ulterior motive—he was trying to win her over; he’d already informed her of this. But he wasn’t doing the alpha thing and being pushy, nor was he doing the mate thing and invading her personal space. He had done something sweet for her and wasn’t expecting anything in return. He was merely hoping to demonstrate that he’d meant everything he said to her, backing it up with actions.

She knew he could have no real idea just how little words meant to her. Mason had given her plenty of words, told her just how special and beautiful she was, and just how proud he was to have her as his true mate. He had given her all the words she could have wanted to hear, using her need for a connection to get what he wanted.

Only actions would make her even consider believing Nick. But she didn’t want him to give her actions; she wanted to stay mad at him and give herself every reason to keep him at a distance. So she wasn’t a happy bunny right now, knowing this big, bad, powerful, and often remote alpha was focused on having her and had done something considerate for her.

But he didn’t tell Kent you were his mate, a voice in her head reminded her. He’s not proud to have you.

“You’re angry that I cooked you something?” asked Nick, sensing her mood shift. He tried examining her expression, but she was busy staring out the window. His wolf tensed, honing every sense on her.

“No. It was sweet.” And very convenient because she was an awful cook and she tended to exist on cereal, noodles, and takeouts.

“Then why are you mad at me?”

She folded her arms across her chest. “I’m not mad.”

“Yes, you are.”

“I’m not. I told you, what you did was sweet.”

Then why did she sound like she wanted to rip out his heart and use it as a mallet? “You’re mad that I did something sweet?”

“No.”

“So what’s the problem?” She didn’t answer, just continued to stare out the window. His wolf growled with impatience. “Shay, you gotta help me out here. How can I apologize if I don’t know what I’ve done?”

“I don’t want your apologies anyway.”

“Shay, tell me.”

The dominance and power in his tone made her shudder, and before she knew it, the words came flying out. “You didn’t tell Kent I was your ma—” She quickly cut off her words, annoyed with herself.

“And that pissed you off?” He didn’t understand women and probably never would. “Shay, I’m not good at this. When I was with females in the past…They weren’t relationships. I kept everything casual. Giving any kind of commitment to another female would’ve felt like cheating on my mate. I know some are open to imprinting, but I wasn’t. I wanted to find you.”

“Then I guess I’m a big disappointment to you, huh?”

Taken aback, he said, “Excuse me?”

“It’s always been obvious that you don’t think I’m good enough for you and that you look down on me.” She lurched forward as he suddenly pulled the car to a complete stop at the side of the road. “What the—”

“Would you mind repeating that?” The words rumbled out of him.

“Come on, Nick, you acted like I didn’t exist, like I was nothing to you. What I don’t understand is why, if I wasn’t good enough for you back then, I’m suddenly good enough for you now.”

“Is that really what you think?” he asked in a low voice, shocked. “That I think you aren’t good enough?” He leaned back in his seat, literally feeling like he’d been felled. “Jesus, Shay.”

“Why else would you have totally snubbed me?” she asked rhetorically. There was no anger in her voice as she continued, just exhaustion and sadness. “I can understand how me being submissive is a problem, but that wouldn’t be a reason to ignore me the way you did. It wouldn’t be a reason to drive me to leave. And now that I’ve built a life for myself here and I’m happy, you turn up and say sorry, you’ve changed your mind and you’ve given up your Alpha throne. It makes no sense.”

Sighing, Nick scrubbed a hand down his face. He’d had no idea that she’d interpreted his actions that way. Shit. The only way she would understand the truth behind those actions was if he explained everything to her, explained all the reasons that had kept him away—even those that he would rather she didn’t know. But that would risk her giving him a chance out of pity. In fact, she might even think he was trying to guilt her into giving him a chance. He wanted to earn that chance, wanted to earn her trust. They’d have no shot without trust anyway. “We need to get one thing straight.”

Although his tone was gentle, the authority there had Shaya instantly giving him her full attention. She couldn’t have ignored him even if she had wanted to. His gaze held hers; there was a hint of anger there. She wasn’t sure if he was angry with her or himself.

“You are everything I ever could have wanted—everything I didn’t even know I wanted. Beautiful, smart, independent, loyal, and you have this sassy, effervescent charm that I wouldn’t have thought would appeal to me. If I thought you weren’t good enough, if you were something I could resist, something I could be without, I wouldn’t be here.” As a familiar ache suddenly began to build behind his eyes, he almost cursed aloud. Great. Another headache was creeping up on him. “Don’t ever again think differently.”

Shaya wasn’t sure what to say to that, so she said nothing.

“My great-uncle from another pack recently died.” Seeing that Shaya was ready to offer her condolences, Nick put a finger to her lips, needing to make his point. “He’d never mated. He told me once how he almost imprinted a long time ago, when he was twenty-one. The reason he hadn’t was that he’d wanted to hold out for his true mate. He never found her. My point is that many take it for granted that they’ll find their mate, but not everybody does. We’re lucky to have found each other. I know I fucked up. I’ve said I’m sorry for hurting you; I meant it. I promised you that I wouldn’t let you down again; I meant it. You might not believe that right now, but you will in time—I won’t have it any other way. You’re mine, and I refuse to live my life without you in it.”

Neither of them spoke during the rest of the drive home. Even when he finally pulled up behind his motor home, he opened Shaya’s door without a word and handed her the large tub that contained the meal he’d cooked. He didn’t look angry with her, but there was hurt there. And another pain too…a pain she didn’t understand. It made her wolf whine, wanting to comfort him. He then merely gave Shaya a nod and gestured for her to go inside. She wanted him to talk to her, wanted to know what that pain was that he seemed to be trying to hide. But showing concern for him could give him the wrong idea, couldn’t it? So she ignored her wolf and her own concern and simply said, “Thanks.”

As the pain in his expression seemed to intensify, she was about to ask what was wrong, but then Derren appeared at his side. His body language was supportive and protective, and again there was disappointment in his gaze as he looked at her.

Derren turned to Nick and gestured at the motor home. “Fancy a game of poker?”

Nick quickly realized that Derren—who never missed a trick—had detected that he had one of his headaches and was urging him to go inside to take some painkillers. The urging wasn’t necessary. Not when his vision was starting to darken around the edges. “Sure.” He again gestured for Shaya to go inside her home, having no intention of moving until he saw that she was safely inside. Then, hearing a car pull up close by, he glanced briefly toward the noise…and tensed. “Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me.”

Confused, Shaya spared the Chevy a brief look before asking Nick, “What?”

Derren winced, earning both of their attention. “Wow, I didn’t think she’d really come.”

Nick rounded on him. “You knew she was coming? You knew and you didn’t think to tell me?”

“Who?” demanded Shaya.

Turning back to Shaya, Nick sighed. “My mother.”

“She called me earlier,” said Derren. “She wanted to know how you were doing and what was happening with you and Shaya. As I know you’re private about personal stuff, I was pretty vague. Apparently that wasn’t the wisest move.”

Clearly not, because she’d come to find out the answers for herself. Nick cursed.

“What’s so bad about it?” asked Shaya. “Don’t you guys get along?”

“It’s not that. I came to Arizona to find you, make things up to you, and claim you. I kind of wanted some privacy, and no one seems to want to give it to us.” And his mother would undoubtedly pressure him to tell Shaya everything when she realized he hadn’t yet done it. She might even blurt out a thing or two, believing he’d already told Shaya. He couldn’t have that. “Why don’t you go inside, baby. I’ll take care of this.”

“You don’t want me to meet your mom?” Shaya didn’t particularly want to do the whole “meeting the parents” thing, especially considering the way things stood with her and Nick, but she couldn’t help feeling wounded by his behavior.

Seeing the insecurity in her eyes and knowing she most likely still feared he thought she wasn’t good enough for him, that he was embarrassed by her, Nick growled. “Now you’re making me want to bite you.” His wolf felt much the same. “I just don’t want people interfering. She thinks being my mother gives her the right to do so.”

The click-clacking of heels along the pavement was quickly followed by Kathy Axton launching herself at him, kissing both cheeks. “Derren assured me you were fine, but I had to see for myself.” Turning to Shaya, she smiled widely. “You must be Shaya.” Then she was hugging the breath out of Shaya too. “I’m Kathy, Nick’s mother. I knew you’d be beautiful, and you are. And I knew you’d understand his reasons for holding back.”

The latter sentence was more like a question, so Shaya nodded at the small brunette with Nick’s green eyes. The bubbly, affectionate woman was so unlike her own mother. “It’s nice to meet you.” Though mighty awkward, given the circumstances.

“Behind me are Nick’s sister, Roni, and our pack healer, Amber.”

Seeing only one female, Shaya frowned. Then Nick crouched down and stroked a graceful dark-gray female wolf, cooing gently and whispering. Before Shaya could ask who was who, the tall, purple-haired dominant female fit for a catwalk came from behind Kathy and threw her arms around Shaya.

“You must be Shaya, hi!” Pulling back, she said, “I’m Amber—a good friend of Nick’s. His mom has told me a little about you. You sound perfect for him.”

The way she looked at Shaya was almost adoringly…but there was something else in those eyes. Something that surprised her: jealousy. Well, well, well, the pack healer had a thing for Nick. Shaya’s wolf wasn’t at all pleased about that.

As Amber’s eyes drifted to Shaya’s neck, her face pulled into a frown, and she looked down at Nick. “You haven’t claimed her?”

“When Shaya’s ready, I will.” Having no intention of explaining further, Nick tugged on Shaya’s hand until she got down on her haunches beside him. “Shay, this is Roni, my sister. Roni, this is Shaya. My mate.”

The dark-gray wolf studied Shaya for a moment before butting her hand. Understanding, Shaya gave her a brief stroke.

“Don’t think she’s being rude by not greeting you properly; Roni spends more time in her wolf form,” explained Nick, swallowing hard. He suspected that it wasn’t just the trauma of the attempted rape that she repeatedly tried to escape from by remaining in her wolf form for long periods, but the trauma of watching her brother violently tear people apart in front of her very eyes. She had already been terrified after being nearly assaulted, and then he’d made that terror even worse, despite that all he’d been doing was trying to protect her. He hated himself for what he’d done to his own sister.

As Roni’s nostrils flared, she glanced around him. Nick had no sooner heard Derren’s “Hey, Roni” than the she-wolf was beside him; the two of them were good friends.

“It’s so great to see you!” Amber said when Nick stood. She hugged him before he could stop her. Unlike him, she was a touchy-feely person. Detaching her from him, he set her back by her shoulders and simply gave her a nod—letting another female touch him was suicidal when his mate was right there, and irritation was rolling off her in waves.

He passed his keys to Derren. “Um…you guys go wait in the motor home while I say goodnight to Shaya.” His mother and Amber looked at him curiously, obviously confused that she wouldn’t be coming inside also. Had it not been for the fact that he needed to warn his mother to back off and not to let certain details slip to Shaya, he would have invited her inside. He doubted she’d have accepted the invitation, but he’d have asked all the same.

Both his mother and Amber looked about to comment, but a raised brow from him had both of them nodding instead and following Derren into the motor home with Roni trotting behind them. “Oh, and Roni, Bruce is inside—don’t chase him around again,” he called, though he wasn’t optimistic that his sister would listen.

Turning back to Shaya, he slowly closed the distance between them and cupped her face with one hand, sliding his thumb over her mouth. “I’ll make sure they’re gone by tomorrow. But for tonight…For tonight, I need to let them stay in the motor home.” And that was really, really bad, because one of those females wasn’t related to him and was also unmated. “I can’t turn them away. My mother won’t budge until I’ve spoken to her anyway.”

“It’s fine,” lied Shaya. How could it be fine when she knew that the dominant female in his motor home wanted him? And now Shaya had a primal urge to touch him in some way, to leave her scent on him—something that would warn away the other female. Ordinarily, such shifter primal instincts weren’t so strong for Shaya, but this one was fierce. Her wolf was demanding it.

But I don’t want him, Shaya insisted to herself. However, like with Paisley, that detail wasn’t relevant when it came to the idea of other females wanting him. God, she was so freaking mixed up, and she hated it.

Still, she forced the distasteful words out. “You don’t owe me any explanations. What you do and who you do it with is your bus—” She gasped as his mouth descended on hers and his tongue shot inside. The kiss was hard, deep, intense—not punishing, but a kiss designed to get her total and utter attention. It worked. She told herself to move away, but she couldn’t. Not with mating urges riding her and with her insecurities and confusion badgering her; the contact with her mate soothed and reassured her. When he pulled back and bit her lip hard, she gasped again.

“What did I tell you only minutes ago, huh? You’re everything I want. All I want. Just so you have it totally straight, I am your business, just like you’re mine…which is why I’m explaining to you that I’ll be letting them sleep in the motor home with Derren while I sleep in his SUV.”

“I just meant that—Wait, what?”

“You really thought I’d sleep in the vicinity of an unmated female when I knew you’d hate it?” If she’d wanted to allow an unmated male to sleep in her house without Nick there too, he’d have been totally pissed.

“You don’t have to do that. You don’t need to do that. It’s stupid and—”

“Has given you peace of mind—admit it.”

Okay, yes, it had relaxed her slightly. Her wolf was also mollified, though she still wanted to take a bite out of Amber. But Shaya didn’t like the idea of him cramped in the SUV all night long. “Really, you don’t need to.”

“Yes, I do.”

“But…you’ll be uncomfortable.”

His laugh was short and soft. “Shay, I was in juvie—I’ve slept in way worse places.” He licked over her bottom lip. “And with your taste on my tongue and your scent all over me, I’ll sleep just fine.”

Her scent all over him…Her wolf was smug at that. It also served to further relax Shaya. Surprising her, Nick suddenly spun her around and slapped her ass, urging her toward the house. “Hey!”

“Go. And make sure you eat every bit of that meal.” Amused by her mock scowl, he didn’t move his eyes from her until she was inside the house.

It was at that moment that his mother’s head peered out of the front door of the motor home. “Nick, what’s this Derren’s saying about you keeping things from Shaya?”

And so it begins.