Carol's Mate

Chapter Seven

Slowly, oh so very slow, he raised his head, and what she saw in his eyes caused her to suck in a sharp breath. Fury such as she‟d never seen before—and prayed to God never to see again—was directed at her. It consumed her, setting her ablaze where she sat.

Then he spoke. “You conniving, manipulative bitch.” There was more. Much, much more. Mercifully, over the years, time and loving penance by Mark had dulled the memory of all that he‟d said, but nothing would take away the guilt and the residual pain. Each word was like razor-sharp daggers thrust into her soul until she withdrew so deep inside herself she was deaf, dumb, and blind to all around her.

“…Your pussy was good, but no cunt is worth giving up my humanity to become a monster, an animal like you.” The slamming of the door punctuated his words.

She had no idea how long she sat there in that chair, unable to move or think, barely breathing. Pain was a living, seething entity that consumed her entire being.

“Carol! Carol!” She was shaken roughly. “Snap out of it!”

“He‟s gone,” she said in a dull voice unlike her own.

“Who‟s gone?”

“My mate. He left.” She drifted back off into space. Another rough shake roused her.

“What happened?” A command, one she couldn‟t disobey.

Carol repeated word for word everything Mark had said. She heard the words, knew it was her speaking, but she‟d disassociated herself to the point where it seemed to be coming from someone else. “He‟s right, you know? Everything he said was true.” That was her sin, her shame.

“No, he‟s not. Look at me. Damn it, I said look at me!” The command of an alpha. The voice of power.

Eyes gone wolf, shining pure gold, fangs showing, Alex was furious. She was so tired. She didn‟t have the energy to deal with him, with life. “Let me go, Alex,” she pleaded wearily.

His claws bit into her scalp where he held her head, forcing her to meet his gaze. “You will not grieve yourself to death over him. I won‟t allow it. We won‟t let you. Come back, Carol. We need you. The pack needs you. I need you.” Then he snatched her out of the chair, onto her knees, and into his arms.

Other arms surrounded her, enfolding her. She drowned in the scent of pack, of home, of family, and most of all, of love. Deep male voices murmured. Hands stroked and touched. The feeling of being safe broke through the grief.

She clutched at Alex. “It hurts. God, it hurts so bad.” Then she cried.

An ocean of tears later, Alex lifted her and carried her upstairs to the alphas‟

room. The bed still carried their scent. He laid her in the middle of the bed, and they all crowded in around her. Exhausted, she fell into a deep sleep…

A strong, masculine hand rifled through her hair, messing up her ‟fro. “Why are you out here in the cold, brooding, instead of inside with the rest of the pack?” Alex.

“Just thinking,” she replied, shaking off the past.

“Hmm…” He laid his arms on her shoulders and crossed them under her neck, pulling her back into his body in a loose embrace. “Since you‟re calling Mom „Mom‟

now, does that mean you‟re gonna start referring to me as your brother?” She elbowed him in the side and smirked when he grunted. “Hell no. I‟m not claiming you.”

He laughed as his grip tightened, playfully threatening to choke her.

“I might let the baby call you uncle,” she conceded.

“It‟s a start. Someone‟s got to keep the tyke from being the hellion his mother was. I‟ll keep working on the brother part,” he said, and she could hear the humor in his voice.

They stood quietly, watching a fox creep out of the woods before it caught their scent and darted away.

“Are you happy, Carol?”

“Yeah, Alex. I am.”

He sighed deeply, the way he always did when something was troubling him.

She waited. After a while, her patience was rewarded. “Dad‟s been hinting that it‟s time for me to start a family, for the good of the pack. Hell, it‟s not like I‟m against the idea. I want a mate. I‟m tired of being alone…lonely.”

“But…?”

“I see Mom and Dad, and you with Mark, and I want what you have. Sure, I could pick one of the females of the pack and settle down, but…” Carol reached up and crossed her arms on top of his in an awkward hug, resting her weight against him. “Then pray, Alex, and wait. Don‟t settle for less than you deserve. There‟s someone for you out there, and when it‟s time, she‟ll come across your path.”

He rested his head on top of hers. “You think so?”

“I know so. We didn‟t even know this true mates stuff was real until it happened to me. Don‟t give up. If it happened to me, and Ned and Ms. Emma, it can happen for you too. And when it does, hopefully you won‟t have half the problems Mark and I had.”

“You didn‟t know, Carol. When are you going to stop beating yourself up about it? Your being with him went against everything we were taught to believe. Things got a little rocky, but it all worked out in the end. That‟s all that matters.” In an attempt to lighten the mood, she asked, “So what did you get me for Christmas?” Though they‟d given out gifts to the pack, the family had yet to exchange them. That would come after dinner, which would include only family and a few of the elders.

“A present? For you? Sorry, kid. I only bought my family gifts this year,” Alex said, tickling her.

“Oh, you…” She squirmed, trying to free herself.

Alex held her with one arm and rubbed the knuckles of his free hand on top of her head. She squealed, and they tussled like the kids they used to be.

“Are you molesting my wife?” her mate asked as he came out onto the deck.

“More like mauling me,” she answered. “Get him off me. You know I shouldn‟t be jostled in my delicate condition.”

Both men snorted.

Mark bent over to knee level so he could see her face since Alex had her in a headlock. “Aren‟t you the same „delicate flower‟ that tackled me earlier during our football game?”

“Well…”

“Yeah, she hit me so hard I saw stars. That‟s what I get for trying to take it easy on her,” Alex griped.

Mark gently freed her from Alex‟s hold, but that didn‟t stop the teasing.

Instead it intensified as the two ganged up on her. Carol smiled, happy to see two of the most important men in her life getting along so well, despite their rocky start…

The night she and Mark broke up, the alpha, sensing something was wrong, sent Alex, Sam, Craig, and Seth to attend to her with the command to remain until the semester was over. Then she was to come home to Refuge. The alpha had already made arrangements for her to intern at the hospital in Colbyville, only forty-five minutes away, until the new clinic was operational.

To say the guys were protective was an understatement. They shadowed her every move, following her to class and sitting beside her. Not that she minded.

Emotionally, she was such a mess that their very presence was a comfort to her.

They smelled of pack and home, something she desperately needed as she licked her wounds and struggled to make it from day to day.

More than pain, it was the crushing guilt of keeping her secret for so long that truly tormented her. Mona had urged her to tell Mark as soon as she‟d discovered the truth, but she‟d held off out of fear. She loved him so much, she hadn‟t wanted to chance losing him. Not only had she lost him, but she had only herself to blame.

She was curled up on the couch between Sam and Alex, being drilled by the latter for an upcoming exam, when the knock came at the door. His scent hit her immediately. She stiffened and let out a small whimper.

Alex broke off midquestion, observing her. “It‟s him, isn‟t it?” All she could do was nod.

“I‟ve got this.” Alex‟s normally dark brown eyes were gold, wolf barely held in check.

“No, Alex, it‟s all right. I can handle it,” she protested and struggled to get to her feet, though she really didn‟t want to, but the guys were worrying her. All of them were bristling like wolves whose territory was being threatened. Mark was strong, but he was human and no match for an alpha like Alex.

“Guys.” That‟s all Alex said, and immediately Seth, Craig, and Sam formed a wall between her and the door.

Alex snatched open the door so suddenly, Mark‟s fist was still raised to knock.

“What the hell do you want?” he snarled.

Mark appeared taken aback, but he quickly gathered his senses. “I want to see Carol.”

“No,” Alex announced calmly and slammed the door.

“Alex…” she chided and tried to move forward, but the guys tightened ranks so that she had to rise to her toes to see over their shoulders.

There was a thud as the door met an obstacle and stopped short of closing.

“Listen, buddy, I don‟t know who the hell you are, but I‟m not leaving until I see Carol.”

Alex growled, and from Mark‟s reaction, Carol guessed he was showing fang.

“I‟m the guy who‟s going to chew you up and leave your carcass for the buzzards if you don‟t leave.”

She thought Mark would give up, but he proved he was made of stronger stuff.

He placed his hands on the door and countered the strength Alex was exerting to force the door closed. “Do your worst, but I‟m not leaving unless Carol tells me to.” Alex looked over his shoulder at her. Whatever he saw in her expression made him hesitate. Finally he backed away and allowed Mark to come inside. Two steps into the house, he commanded, “That‟s far enough.” Mark looked like he was going to argue. Then he caught sight of the rest of the guys and Carol hovering behind them. “Carol,” he said quietly, “can we talk?”

“I think you‟ve said enough,” Alex told him.

“Privately,” Mark added.

Alex snorted. “Anything you want to say, you say it now. We‟re not leaving her alone with you, not after the last time.”

The guys nodded their agreement. The aggression in the room rose dangerously. Fearful for Mark‟s safety and not sure she was ready to deal with whatever he had to say, Carol told him, “Mark, I think you should go.”

“I‟m not leaving until I‟ve had my say,” he stubbornly insisted.

Alex smiled, more a baring of teeth. “Oh, I think you will. Sam…” “Alex, don‟t,” Carol pleaded. She tried to push through Seth and Craig, but they caught her and held her back.

Ignoring her protests and her struggles, Alex grabbed Mark by the arm. Mark swung, connecting with Alex‟s jaw with a force that had Carol wincing. Alex‟s head snapped to the side, and when he turned back to Mark, he was smiling. Oh shit!

“You‟ll have to do better than that, human.”

Carol closed her eyes. There was the sound of scuffling and flesh striking flesh, and then the door opened. Carol looked up in time to see Alex and Sam toss Mark out of the house, then slam the door shut and secure it. They high-fived each other as Craig and Seth grunted in satisfaction, releasing her now that Mark was gone.

She put her hands on her hips and glared at them all. “Why did you do that?” Alex walked right up to her and cupped her chin in his hand, glaring down at her through wolf‟s eyes. “No one, and I mean no one, treats you the way he did and gets away with it. If he wants you back, he‟s going to have to come through me. Got it?”

This was Alex the alpha speaking, not her quasi brother. “Yes, alpha,” she said and lowered her eyes.

Alex groaned and pulled her into his embrace. “Carol, you‟re not just pack; you‟re family. I couldn‟t love you more if you were my own flesh and blood. I‟m not going to let him get away with the vicious things he said to you. You think I can‟t smell how much you‟re hurting? He‟s lucky all we did was rough him up a bit.” The other guys murmured their agreement.

“But it was my fault,” she protested.

“No one, Carol,” Alex reiterated strongly. “For any reason. I don‟t care who he is.”

She looked at all of them. In this, they were in agreement. She sighed and wrapped her arms around Alex‟s waist. The other guys came close and surrounded her in a group hug…

It took some time, and there were some tense moments for a while after she and Mark had reconciled, but eventually Mark managed to prove himself and all was forgiven. Now, looking at the way he, Alex, and the rest of the guys interacted, you‟d never know there‟d been a problem.

“So, babe, when are we eating? Your man‟s hungry.” She laughed. “Let me see if Mom and Dad are ready to eat,” she said as she freed herself from his embrace and headed into the house.

As she closed the sliding glass door, she heard Alex say to Mark, “Can you believe she‟s claiming my folks but still won‟t claim me as family?”

“Hell, I wouldn‟t claim your ugly ass either,” Mark joked.

“My mug‟s better looking than yours,” Alex fired right back.

She smiled and shook her head. There was nothing like family.

Mark hummed a happy tune under his breath as he finished cleaning the kitchen and took out the rest of the trash. Today was a good one. He‟d enjoyed being together with the pack, and the glow on his wife‟s face made all the extra work they‟d done to celebrate the holiday well worth the effort.

In addition to the large quantities of appetizers and treats laid out for the pack, he and Alex had fried five turkeys, and Carol had baked two massive hams.

With an assortment of side dishes and desserts that would have done a buffet restaurant proud, they‟d consumed quite a spread. Now everything was cleaned and put away, and he was free to join the rest of the family and relax.

He flipped off the kitchen light and headed toward the family den. As he neared, the sound of laughter and teasing carried as clear as if he were in the room with them. Standing in the shadows outside the room, he studied the tableau before him.

Christmas carols played softly in the background. A fire burned merrily in the hearth, its soft, flickering light lending a mellow glow. In one corner of the room, the seven-feet Douglas fir added additional light and color, its multicolored twinkling lights reflecting off a multitude of Christmas ornaments of all shapes and sizes.

Only two lone presents resided under its branches, the rest having been distributed earlier.

Mark crossed his arms over his chest, leaned against the archway, and smiled.

Carol and Alex wrestled on the floor like kids, laughing and playing and simply goofing off. It was good to see them being so lighthearted and relaxed, for once free of the cares and responsibilities of being leaders of a large pack. Their parents, Mona and Tom, sitting together on the couch like honeymooners, gazed at them indulgently. Of the pack, only two remained, Ms. Lulu and Hiram, elders both of them. They sat on a nearby love seat and spoke with the former alphas in quiet tones.

Mark watched Tom Wolfe as he interacted with the elders, his children, and most importantly, his mate. He owed this man a debt of gratitude he doubted he‟d ever be able to repay. Left to his own devices, he would have allowed fear and pride to keep him from the best thing that had ever happened in his life: Carol. Thank God Tom had come and talked sense into him. More importantly, he‟d taught Mark everything he needed to know about being a male shifter, including how to care for his mate.

In his position, Mark sincerely doubted he‟d have done the same if it had been his daughter. His attitude would have been more like Alex‟s: hostile, protective, and completely unforgiving. He thought back to those dark days…

He was a miserable wreck. He couldn‟t eat. He couldn‟t sleep. He was so irritable and short-tempered even his friends avoided him. He wanted his woman, but there was no way she‟d forgive him, not after the ass he‟d made of himself.

Mark had known when he met Carol that she was sheltered. There was something innocent and a bit naive about her. After spending time with her and hearing about her dad and brother, he had realized his first impression was correct.

Not only was she sheltered but pampered as well. She was by no means spoiled. He could tell she‟d come from a good home and that her family was well-off. Nothing like the hood he‟d grown up in. She lacked street smarts and that hard, wary edge that people who grew up in dangerous neighborhoods learned early in life.

The first time they‟d made love, though she‟d met him passion for passion, her inexperience showed. She was the closest thing to a virgin that he‟d ever been with, and while he was all for women‟s rights and women going after what and who they wanted, he was glad he didn‟t have to wonder how many men his woman had been with, and how he compared to her former lovers.

Carol was a lady, and he‟d cursed her out like a common street whore.

In his mind he could still picture the way she‟d slowly folded into herself. The flinches she‟d made as each word hit its target. Another woman would have cursed him back, the black in her rising to the forefront as her neck rolled, finger pointed, and she “handled business.” Not Carol; she‟d sat there and taken it. Once his initial fury had cooled and he could clearly think again, guilt hit him hard.

Along with the sure knowledge that he‟d screwed up—royally.

Even knowing that he was wrong and owed her an apology, he couldn‟t force himself to go to her. He was still upset. She‟d lied to him. Used him. She claimed to love him, but if she really did, wouldn‟t she have told him what was happening as soon as she discovered the truth? It was his life, his humanity she was fucking with.

And for that reason, his anger still burned.

It didn‟t help that now that she‟d brought it to his attention, he was noticing things. Changes in himself he‟d previously dismissed as being his imagination. His reflexes were quicker, senses sharper. And there was this thing growing inside of him. He could feel it, and it scared the crap out of him.

He didn‟t know how to deal with it or himself. He wasn‟t a man that was used to being out of control. He needed help but was too stubborn to ask. Help meant going to Carol, the one person who knew what he was becoming, and he wasn‟t ready to do that. Not yet.

Besides, he didn‟t trust himself around her. Every time he saw her, she was with some guy, or a group of them. The thing inside of him didn‟t like their close proximity to his woman. It didn‟t know, nor did it care to know who they were. It simply wanted them gone. The man in him was in total agreement. He hadn‟t decided if he still wanted her yet, but he damn sure knew he didn‟t want her with anyone else until he‟d made up his mind.

Finally he realized that this thing inside of him wasn‟t going away.

Swallowing his pride, he went to Carol to find out what he needed to know to deal with it, only to be thrown out. At least he knew who one of the guys with her was: Alex, her brother. That explained a lot. Unfortunately the incident at her house pissed him off all over again and messed up his head more than it already was.

It took one of his professors confronting him about his dropping grades to make him realize he‟d better get his head back in the game. He‟d come too close to achieving his goals to flunk out now.

The next few weeks he spent catching up on missing assignments and bringing up his grades. When he surfaced for air, Carol was gone.

He never thought she‟d leave. He assumed that when he was ready, they‟d work things out. After all, he was the one who‟d been wronged. Why the hell had she left? The semester wasn‟t finished. In another two weeks, they‟d be taking final exams.

If that‟s the way she wanted to be, then screw her. He didn‟t need this shit.

There were plenty of women out there. He‟d eventually find one that didn‟t make his skin crawl.

Mark made it through final exams. Not the best work he‟d ever done, but he passed. At this point, that was all that really mattered. Deciding to take the summer off to get his head together, he focused on work. His internship began in the fall, and he needed to rebuild his savings since he‟d be working without pay.

To make sure he didn‟t have time to think, he worked two full-time jobs. When not working, he exercised. He ate enough to keep moving but didn‟t find any pleasure in it. Sleep only came when exhaustion overtook him.

He‟d been doing that for about month when a knock came at the apartment door. It was one of his rare days off, so he was home. Mark finished tying his shoelace on his athletic shoe, grabbed his gym bag, and headed for the door, not in the mood to entertain.

Snatching open the door, he came to an abrupt stop. “What are you doing here?

I got the message from your son. Your precious daughter is off-limits. I get that.” Thomas Wolfe raised one eyebrow and examined him. Something about his manner made Mark swallow and look away. Maybe it was his focused gaze with those weird eyes. This man wasn‟t someone to toy with.

“My daughter is grieving for you, pup. If you love her and want her back, I can teach you what you need to know to claim her. If you‟re not interested…” He made to turn away.

“Wait!” The word leaped out of his mouth.

Tom paused. “Yes?”

“I love her,” Mark choked out the words. Like a dam bursting, it came pouring out of him. “I can‟t sleep. I can‟t eat. I feel like I‟m losing my mind. On top of that, there‟s this…this thing inside of me. It‟s making me crazy.” The look Tom gave him was full of sympathy and approval. “That‟s all I needed to hear.”