Casper the Commuting Cat: The True Story of the Cat Who Rode the Bus and Stole Our Hearts

CHAPTER 18

How to Deal with Fame

Casper

Assume that everyone is a good person – yes, they may want to write a story about you; yes, they may want to take your photograph, but as this will not interfere with the important things in life (such as riding buses or napping), allow them access. After all, it’s no skin off your whiskers.

Do not be embarrassed or shy about the barter side of the deal – every celebrity has their price and, in my experi ence, most journalists are perfectly happy to engage in a spot of belly-rubbing, ear-scratching or coat-brushing to prove that they are fundamentally decent, if misrepresented, individuals.

Leave all the tricky stuff to your person – in fact, don’t even concern yourself with the things that take up so much of their time, such as deadlines, phone calls and suchlike. A cat may have nine lives, but none of them is meant to be stressful.

Give your person a little comfort in return – they seem to become inordinately stressed about the way in which their head fur should be fashioned, whether they are required to paint bright colours on parts of their faces and if their costume is ‘just right’. When they seem to be running around not achieving anything, jump on any pile of clothes they have discarded and roll on your back. They will be delighted, even if such delight seems to result in them running about even more and shriek ing a little.

When the doorbell rings, run away – you may even wish to ‘hide’ somewhere they can see you quite easily, but find themselves unable to access. I’m sure that everyone finds this as funny as I do.

If you are expected to perform – for example, I have been asked to pose for pictures beside the wrong bus, and board a bus when it is clearly not the one I’m waiting for – be gracious. You will be repaid very soon, usually in the form of turkey roll and cuddles.

After a while, when the attention has quietened down, your person will invite you to ‘listen to this’, or ‘come and watch this’. For these purposes, you are expected to sit beside them while they read to you from a newspaper or put the noisy picture box on. Every so often, they will say your name excitedly, showing the simple side to their nature, for we know that the more interesting activities would be to roll on the newspaper or hit the picture box with our paws every time something moves.

Do not change your behaviour – this is not because people will say that fame has gone to your head, but because dogs will laugh at you. Need I say more?