Chameleon's Shadow

DR ROBERT WILLIS

MD, PSYCH

Extracts from notes on Lt Charles Acland April 2007

. . . Contradictory reports about Charles’s time in London. Susan Campbell says he disappeared on Saturday evening after one of her other guests, a young woman, tried to be friendly with him. Thereafter, he avoided the girl and withdrew into his shell. Susan’s conclusion is that he becomes anxious when people get too close. Touching and invasion of personal space appear to be real issues for him.

. . . Charles made no mention of the young woman but describes the stay as ‘difficult’ because of Susan’s attempts at friendship. Her kindness [he calls it ‘mothering’ and ‘bossy interference’] was ‘overpowering’ and he kept out of her way as much as possible. They both agree he went running every night, sometimes for hours on end.

...I asked Charles what he plans to do if the army rejects his request to return to active service. He said it won’t happen and has made no plans for an alternative. He has blocked all discussion on the subject since I suggested that a return to his parents’ farm might be his only choice if things don’t work out as he hopes.

. . . Susan believes his worries about his future are as debilitating to his confidence as his disfigurement is. Perhaps more so. She suggests Charles has defined himself for so long as a soldier – through a declared ambition at school and then in reality through his regiment – that he’s unable to define himself in any other way. Susan’s view – a pessimistic one – is that Charles will impose even more isolation on himself if the army rejects him.

. . . She feels he’s struggling with profound issues that aren’t easily explained by his injuries or concerns about his career. [Query: Sexual orientation? Susan’s query also.]

. . . Every attempt to talk about Jen angers him. He says he wants to forget her completely and can’t do that if I keep reminding him of her existence. When I mentioned the rape allegation, he said, ‘There’s a cast of thousands for the part of Jen’s rapist. She doesn’t exist if men don’t lust after her...’