Cherry Bomb

CHAPTER 49

IT WAS ALL I COULD DO not to tear out my hair in frustration.

Two calls to Detective Tom Mankowski confirmed that Herb was being closely guarded. He was still home-something he insisted upon because he wanted to be bait-but he had three cops and two Feebies in there with him. In neighboring houses were ten more cops and just as many Feds. There were three SRT snipers on nearby rooftops. Air support was standing by. As Mankowski said, a squirrel couldn’t fart within a block of the area without having six guns drawn on it.

But the waiting was still torture. Herb was my partner. I should be there. Instead, I was pacing in a Wisconsin hotel room, my fingernails chewed down to blood, waiting for something to happen. Hopefully, the something would be of the good variety, involving Alex getting gunned down. But I had a feeling that Herb wasn’t as safe as everyone wanted to believe.

What were they missing? What was I missing? How do you get to a guy who is heavily protected?

A long-range weapon? That had been anticipated. A mail bomb? The mail for Herb’s route had been checked out and cleared back at the post office, and FedEx, UPS, and DHL had nothing for Herb or for his address. Hidden explosives? Earlier in the day, two bomb-sniffing dogs had covered every inch of Herb’s property.

He was safer than the Pope. But we had to be forgetting something.

Unless Alex was lying. Unless Herb wasn’t the target at all.

She couldn’t get to my parents. Phin was unreachable. Harry?

I called him, using the hotel room phone.

“Hi, sis. I forgive you for acting like a jerk yesterday. I found the Milwaukee cell phone. Motel lobby, at the Old Stone Inn, behind the ice machine. Weren’t you just there?”

“Where are you now?”

“On my way to Chicago. That’s where the next one is. You wouldn’t believe how much gas I’ve gone through the last few days. I think I’m getting about three hundred yards per gallon.”

“Harry, Alex might have been lying about Herb. You might be the next target.”

“Let her try for me. Slappy will take care of her.”

“I’m being serious.”

“I am too. After you left, I gave the monkey some pills, to calm him down.”

I shook my head, amazed. “You gave the monkey Vicodin?”

“I thought it was. But the wrong pills were in the bottle. I actually gave him Viagra. He’s been a little, uh, aggressive since then.”

“I bet.”

“I got him back in his cage by throwing in a cashmere sweater he’s taken a serious liking to. He and the sweater have been going at it non-stop for about eight hours. But if I open the cage, he’ll pounce on Alex like a starving man after a donut.”

“Be careful, McGlade.”

“I’ll be okay. If he jumps on me, I’ll be wearing earplugs and nose-plugs and keep my mouth closed tight.”

“I meant with Alex.”

“Slappy and I are ready. Does Mom like cashmere?”

“That’s disgusting.”

“Not this sweater. A new sweater. I was going to give this one to Herb.”

“Stay in touch,” I told him.

“Does this mean we’re partners again?”

“Just stay in touch.”

I hung up, did some more pacing, tried to eat a room ser vice turkey club, failed, did more pacing, tried to watch a movie, failed, called Tom again for an update when none was needed, did push-ups until my arms wouldn’t work anymore, paced, and finally around four p.m. Alex’s phone rang.

I picked up, expecting to see a text message. But instead I saw a photo, of Herb’s house, a red car parked in the driveway.

No, it wasn’t a photo. This picture moved, the car door opening.

This was a live feed.

I got on the phone, my phone, and hit the speed dial for Herb.

One ring.

A man was getting out of the car. Big, muscular, wearing a tight shirt.

Two rings.

The shirt had a logo on the back, large enough for me to read even on the small LCD phone screen.

1-800-MEATS4U.

Three rings.

But this couldn’t be the meat I ordered for Herb. That was being sent UPS, and not for another few days.

Alex. Somehow Alex knew about it.

The man reached into the passenger seat, removed a large white foam box.

Why weren’t the cops taking him down?

“Hello?”

“Bernice! It’s Jack!”

The big guy walked up to the front door. Two figures with FBI on their jackets rushed at him from both sides.

“Jack, the Turduckinlux is here.”

“I didn’t send the-”

Herb’s front door opened, and then an explosion shook the camera. I heard a shocking BOOM through the tiny speaker of my cell, so startling I dropped my phone.

My other hand clenched Alex’s phone, the screen fuzzy and gray. I watched, horrified, as the smoke cleared.

Herb’s front porch, and a large chunk of his house, were gone.

I picked up my cell, whispered into it, “Bernice.”

She didn’t answer. But in the background, I heard screaming.