7. In which Doctor Volospion becomes eager to offer Mr Bloom his Hospitality

Mr Emmanuel Bloom seemed for the moment to have lost interest in them. He stood upon the ramp of his spaceship and stared beyond Argonheart Po's cola lake (still bearing a whisp or two of flame) towards the barren horizon. He shook his head in some despair. "My poor, poor planet. What have they made of it in my absence?"

"Do you think we could go now?" complained Miss Ming to Doctor Volospion and Abu Thaleb. "If you really want to see him again you could tell him where to find you." She had an inspiration. "Or invite him to your party, Abu Thaleb, to make up for what he did to Argonheart's feast!"

"He would be welcome, of course," said the commissar doubtfully.

"His conversation would be refreshing, I think," said Doctor Volospion. He plucked at his ruff and then, with a motion of a ring, disposed of it altogether. He was once again in green and silver, his cap tight about his head, emphasizing the angularity of his white features. "There are many there who would respond rather better than can I to the tone of his pronouncements. Werther de Goethe, for instance, with his special yearning for Sin? Or even Jherek Carnelian, if he is still with us, with his pursuit of the meaning of morality. Or Mongrove, who shares something of his monumental millennialism. Mongrove is back from space, is he not?"

"With his aliens," Abu Thaleb confirmed.

"Well, then, perhaps you should invite him now, courteous commissar?"

"We could tell him that the party was in his honour," suggested Abu Thaleb. "That would please him, don't you think? If we humour him…"

"Can't he hear us?" hissed Miss Ming.

"I think he only listens to us when it interests him to do so," guessed Doctor Volospion. "His mind appears on other things at present."

"This is all very uncomfortable for me," said Mavis Ming, "though I suppose I shouldn't complain. Not that there's a lot of point, because nobody ever listens to little Mavis. It's too much to expect, isn't it. But mark my words, he's going to make trouble for all of us, and especially for me. We shouldn't be wondering about inviting him to parties. We should tell him he's not welcome. We should give him his marching orders. Tell him to leave!"

"It is traditional to welcome all visitors to our world, Miss Ming," said Abu Thaleb. "Even the dullest has something to offer and we, in turn, can often offer sanctuary. This Mr Bloom, while I agree with you he seems a little deluded as to his importance to us, must have had many experiences of interest. He has travelled, he tells us, through time and through space. He has knowledge of numerous different societies. There will be many here who will be glad to meet him. Lord Jagged of Canaria, I am sure —"

"Jagged is gone from us again," said Volospion somewhat sharply. "Fled, some say, back into Time — to avoid disaster."

"Well, there are women, too, who would delight in meeting one so passionate. My Lady Charlotina, Mistress Christia, the Iron Orchid…"

"They're welcome," said Mavis Ming. "More than welcome. Though what any woman would see in the little creep I don't know."

"Once he meets other ladies doubtless his own infatuation for you will subside," said Abu Thaleb encouragingly. "As you say, you are probably the first woman he has seen for many a long year and he has had no opportunity to select from all our many wonderful women one who pleases him even more than you do at present. He is evidently a man of great passion. One might almost call it elephantine in its grandeur."

Miss Ming put her chin on her fist.

There was a bang. Pensively, Mr Bloom had blown up the rest of Werther's mountains. He continued to remain with his hands on his hips, contemplating the distance.

"Miss Ming. As a student of history have you any knowledge of Mr Bloom?" Doctor Volospion came and sat next to her in the howdah.

"None," she said. "Not even a legend. He must be after my time."

"A near-contemporary, I would have thought, judging by his dress."

"He said himself he'd taken on someone else's appearance. Someone he'd admired."

"Ah, yes. Another prophet, do you think?"

"From the 19th century? Who was there? Karl Marx? Nietzsche? Wagner? Maybe he looks a bit like Wagner. No. Someone like that, though. English? It's just not my period, Doctor Volospion. And religion was never my strong subject. The Middle Ages were my own favourite, because people lived such simpler lives, then. I could get quite nostalgic about the Middle Ages, even now. That's probably why I originally started doing history. When I was a little girl you couldn't get me away from all those stories of brave knights and fair ladies. I guess I was like a lot of kids, but I just hung on to that interest until I went to the university, where I got more interested in the politics, well, that was Betty, really, who was the political nut, you know. But she really had some strong ideas about politics — good ideas. She —"

"But you do not recognize Mr Bloom?"

"You couldn't fail to, could you, once you'd seen him? No. Doctor Volospion, can't you send me home on my own? If I had a power ring, even a little one, I could…"

She had hinted to him before that if she were equipped with a power ring or two she would be less of a nuisance to him. Few time travellers, however, were given the rings which tapped the energy of the old cities, certainly not when, like Miss Ming, they were comparative newcomers to the End of Time. As Doctor Volospion had explained to her before, there was a certain discipline of mind — or at least a habit of mind — which had to be learned before they could be used. Also they were not one of the artefacts which could be reproduced at will. There was a relatively limited number of them. Miss Ming had never been quite convinced by Doctor Volospion's arguments against her having her own power ring, but there was little she could do save hope that one day he would relent.

"Regretfully…" He gestured. "Not yet, Miss Ming." It was not clear to which of her suggestions he was referring. She allowed her disappointment to show on her plump face.

"Hm," said Mr Bloom from above, "it is evident that the entire planet will have to be consumed so that, from the ashes, a purer place may prosper."

"Mr Bloom!" cried Abu Thaleb. "I would remind you, sir, that while you are a most honoured guest to our world, you will inconvenience a great many people if you burn them up."

Bloom blinked as he looked down at Abu Thaleb. "Oh, they will not die. I shall resurrect them."

"They are perfectly capable of resurrecting one another, Mr Bloom. That is not my point. You see many of us have embarked on schemes — oh, menageries, collections, creations of various kinds — and if you were to destroy them they would be seriously disappointed. It would be the height of bad manners, don't you think?"

"You have already heard my opinion of manners."

"But —"

"It is for your own good," Bloom told him.

"Aha! The authentic voice of the prophet!" cried Doctor Volospion. "Sir, you must be my guest!"

"You begin to irritate me, Doctor Volospion," piped Emmanuel Bloom, "with your constant references to me as a guest. I am not a guest. I am the rightful inheritor of this world, controller of the destinies of all who dwell in it, sole Saviour of your souls."

"Quite," apologized Doctor Volospion. "I should imagine, however, that your spaceship, however grandly furnished and with whatever fine amenities, palls on you as a domicile after so many centuries. Perhaps if you would allow me to put my own humble house at your disposal until a suitable palace — or temple, perhaps — can be built for you, I should be greatly flattered."

"Your feeble attempts at guile begin to irritate me, Doctor Volospion. I am Emmanuel Bloom."

"So you have told us…"

"I am Emmanuel Bloom and I can see into every soul."

"Naturally. I merely…"

"And this priestly fawning only makes me despair of you still further. If you would defy me, defy me with some dignity."

"Mr Bloom, I am simply attempting to make you welcome. Your ideas, your language, your attitudes, they are all decidedly unfashionable now. It was my intention to offer you a dwelling from which you may observe the Age at the End of Time, and make plans for its specific salvation — at your leisure."

"My plans are simple enough. They can apply to any age. I shall destroy everything. Then I shall create it afresh. Your identity will not only be preserved, it will be fully alive, perhaps for the first time since you were born."

"Most of us," Abu Thaleb wished to point out, "were not actually born at all, Mr Bloom…"

"That is immaterial. You exist now. I shall help you find yourselves."

"Most of us are content…"

"You think you are content. Are you never restless? Do you never wake from slumber recalling a dream of something lost, something finer than anything you have ever experienced before?"

"As a matter of fact I have not slept for many a long year. The fashion died, with most people, even before I became interested in elephants."

"Do not seek to confuse the issue, Abu Thaleb."

"Mr Bloom, I am confused. I have no wish to have my precious pachyderms destroyed by you. My enthusiasm is at its height. I am sure the same can be said for at least half the population, small though it is, of this planet."

"I cannot heed you," said Emmanuel Bloom, feeling in the pockets of his velvet suit. "You will be grateful when it is done."

"At least you might canvas the opinion of a few more people, Mr Bloom." Abu Thaleb begged. "I mean to say, for all I know most people might think the idea a splendid one! It would make a dramatic change, at least…"

"And besides," said Doctor Volospion, "we certainly have the means to resist you, Mr Bloom, should you begin seriously to discommode us."

Emmanuel Bloom began to stride up the ramp of his spaceship. "I am weary of all this. Woman, do you come with me now?"

Miss Ming maintained silence.

"Please reconsider, Mr Bloom," Doctor Volospion said spiritedly, "as my guest you would share the roof with many great philosophers and prophets, with messiahs and reformers of every description."

"It sounds," piped Mr Bloom, "like Hell."

"And there are things you should see. Souvenirs of a million faiths. Miraculous artefacts of every kind."

Emmanuel Bloom seemed mildly interested. "Eh?"

"Magical swords, relics, supernatural stones — my collection is justly famous."

Emmanuel Bloom continued on his way.

"You would, as well as enjoying this fabulous company, be sharing the same roof as Miss Ming, who is another guest of mine," said Doctor Volospion.

"Miss Ming comes with me. Now."

"Oh, no I don't," exclaimed Miss Ming.

"What?" Emmanuel Bloom paused again.

"Miss Ming stays with me," said Doctor Volospion. "If you wish to visit her, you may visit her at my dwelling."

"Oh, don't bother with him!" said Mavis Ming.

"You will come to me, in time, Mavis Ming," said Emmanuel Bloom.

"That's the funniest thing I've ever heard," she told him. She said to Doctor Volospion: "It's a bit insensitive of you, isn't it, Doctor Volospion, to use me as bait? Why do you want him so badly?"

Doctor Volospion ignored the question.

"You would be very comfortable at Castle Volospion," he told Mr Bloom. "Everything you could desire — food, wine, luxurious furniture, women, boys, any animal of your taste…"

"I need no luxuries and I desire only one woman. She shall be mine soon enough."

"It would make Miss Ming happy, I am sure, if you became my g— if you used my house."

"You are determined, I think, to misunderstand my mission upon this world. I have come to re-fire the Earth, as its Leader and its Hero. To restore Love and Madness and Idealism to their proper eminence. To infuse your blood with the stuff that makes it race, that makes the heart beat and the head swim! Look about you, manikin, and tell me if you see any heroes. You no longer have heroes — and you have such paltry villains!"

"It does not seem reasonable of you to judge by us three alone," said Abu Thaleb.

"Three's enough. Enough to tell the general condition of the whole. Your society is revealed in your language, your gestures, your costumes, your landscapes! Oh, how sad, how ruined, how unfulfilled you are! Ah, how you must have longed, in your secret thoughts, those thoughts hidden even from yourselves, for me to return. And look now — you still do not realize it."

He smiled benevolently down on them, standing near the entrance to his ship.

"But that realization shall dawn anon, be sure of that. You ask me to live in one of your houses — in a tomb, I say. And could I bear to leave my ship behind? My much-named ship, the Golden Hind? Or Firedrake call her, Virgin Flame — Pi-meson or the Magdelaine — sailing out of Carthage, Tyre, Old Bristol or Bombay: Captain Emmanuel Bloom, late of Jerusalem, founder of the Mayan faith, builder of pyramids, called Ra or Raleigh, dependent on your taste — Kubla Khan or Prester John, Baldur, Mithras, Zoroaster — the Sun's Fool, for I bring you Flame in which to drown! I am blooming Bloom, blunderer through the million planes — I am Bloom, the booming drum of destiny. I am Bloom — the Fireclown! Aha! Now you know me!"

The three faces stared blankly up.

He leaned with his hand against the entrance to the airlock, his head on his shoulder, his eye beady and intelligent. "Eh?"

Doctor Volospion remained uncharacteristically placatory. "Perhaps you could enlighten us over a meal? You must be hungry. We can offer the choicest foods to suit the most demanding of tastes. Please, Mr Bloom, I ask again that you reconsider…"

"No."

"You feel I have misinterpreted you, I know. But I am an earnest student. I remain a mite confused. Your penchant for metaphor…"

The Fireclown clapped a tiny hand to a tiny knee. He frowned at Doctor Volospion. "One metaphor is worth a million of your euphemisms, Doctor Volospion. I have problems to consider and must seek solitude. I have poetry to write — or to recall — I forget which — and need time for meditation. I should accept your invitation for it is my duty to broaden your mind — but that duty can wait."

He turned again to regard the woman.

"You'll join me now, Miss Ming?"

His huge blue eyes flashed suddenly with an intelligence, a humour, which shocked her completely from her hard-won composure.

"What?" The response was mindless.

He stretched out a hand. "Come with me now. I offer you pain and knowledge, lust and freedom. Hm?"

She began to rise, as if mesmerized. She seemed to be shivering. Then she sat down. "Certainly not!"

Emmanuel Bloom laughed. "You'll come." He returned his attention to Doctor Volospion. "And I would advise you, sir, to save your breath in this meaningless and puny Temptation. Your hatred of me is patent, whether you admit it to yourself or not. I would warn you to cease your irritation."

"You still refuse to believe my good faith, Mr Bloom. So be it." Doctor Volospion bowed low.

The ramp was withdrawn. The airlock shut.

No further sound escaped the ship.

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