Craving Him

9

Emmy

Ben’s offer weighed on my mind in the days that followed. I honestly wasn’t sure what to do. He was leaving for Fiji tomorrow and I still hadn’t answered him. I wanted to go with him more than anything. I was even warming to the idea of being his assistant. But as far as moving in with him, I wasn’t so sure that was smart so early in our relationship.

He’d texted me this morning and asked if I would come over today, and when I said sure, he’d informed me that Henry was on his way. I didn’t know if I’d ever get used to his lifestyle.

I pulled on my winter coat and I trudged through the snow to the waiting black sedan. Henry hopped out and opened the back door for me. “Don’t you have any luggage?” His quizzical look roamed my empty hands. “For your trip to Fiji?”

“I haven’t agreed to go yet.” Geez. Did Ben even listen to anything I said? Apparently not if he’d already told his driver I was going.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Miss.”

“It’s okay, Henry. Shall we go?” It was freezing out.

“Of course.” He helped me into the warm car and we rode in awkward silence to Ben’s.

Arriving in Gramercy Park, I was once again struck by the quaint feel and beauty of this part of the city. Little lampposts and wrought iron fences, redbrick apartment buildings, and a fluffy white coating of snow made it feel like something out of a Norman Rockwell painting.

When I saw Ben, the anger I felt about being conned into this trip instantly faded.

He was bare chested, dressed in only a pair of loose athletic shorts that accentuated the deep V-cut of his obliques and his stunning six-pack abs. I wanted to lick those babies.

“Hey, sorry I’m all sweaty. I just got done working out.” He pulled me close for a quick kiss on the lips before releasing me. Not fast enough, though, because I was still hit with the masculine scent of his musky, sweat-dampened skin. That smell reminded me of our last few weeks together in Paris. We’d spent every waking moment we could in bed, exploring each other’s bodies. Memories of Ben’s hot, large body draped over mine flooded my senses, and my sex muscles clenched automatically.

“Hi,” I squeaked out.

His eyes traveled down his own naked chest and abs and he chuckled under his breath, seeming to understand that just the sight of his perfect physique had me breaking out in chill bumps and flushing pink.

“Henry got you here faster than I expected. I just need to jump in the shower. Make yourself at home.”

Home.

I nodded then watched him walk away, appreciating the powerful muscles in his back, and wondered if this could really be my home. I looked around at his beautiful apartment. It certainly felt comfortable and inviting, from the leather armchairs flanking the gas fireplace to the soft, upholstered sofa and thick rugs scattered across the wood floors. Not to mention the luxurious chef’s kitchen that was a far cry from the tiny kitchen I’d grown up cooking in and the decadent bathroom outfitted in white marble with a steam shower and deep, sunken tub. Part of me wanted to say yes, to be daring and romantic and spontaneous. But in that moment, standing alone in the quiet solitude of his apartment, I realized I needed to have a safety net. I needed to have a place of my own to return to just in case things went south between us. Not that I expected them to, but even if I could see myself living here someday, I wasn’t the type to rely solely on a man.

The sound of water from the bathroom caught my attention and I considered, for the briefest of moments, joining him in the shower. But seconds later the bathroom door opened and a haze of steam escaped. Ben stepped out wearing just a towel riding low on his hips.

“You okay, babe?” He stopped in his tracks, raising an eyebrow at me.

I realized I was still standing in the same spot he’d left me. I hadn’t even sat down, let alone moved from the foyer.

I briefly wondered if I should feel embarrassed for my behavior the last time I was here, standing in this same entryway. I’d wantonly used Ben’s hand against myself until I came. My body folding in on itself and my womb contracting around his fingers. But he didn’t mention it, so neither did I.

“I’m fine,” I murmured. “I’ve decided about a few of the things we, um, talked about.” I didn’t know why I felt like we were negotiating a business arrangement. I guess we were, with my impending employment.

“Good. Come in my room while I dress.”

I followed him into the cozy room and sat on the end of his bed while Ben removed a stack of clothes from his bureau. He dropped the towel and my breathing hitched in my chest. My audible gasp in the silent room made Ben smile. God, his body was magnificent. A work of art. I’d never seen him not erect, but even in its relaxed state his length hung heavily between his legs. He stepped into black boxers, quickly concealing my view of the goods. My eyes snapped up to his and I smiled sheepishly.

He crossed the room and stood in front of me with dewy skin, looking hotter than hell. “See something you like?” He leaned down over me, planting his hands on either side of the bed near my thighs.

I sucked in a breath and held it. He smelled clean, like soap and aftershave. I nodded slowly, not letting my eyes wander from his. If I looked down at his beautifully tempting body, I might do something I hadn’t bargained for, like grab ahold of him and not let go.

“Tell me what you’ve decided, beautiful.” He reached toward me and stroked my cheek, his long finger lingering near my mouth.

“Henry expected me to have luggage packed for Fiji.” I frowned.

“Will you come with me?”

“I was considering it but I don’t like that you just assumed I’d go and told your driver that I was.”

His hand dropped to mine and he laced our fingers together. “I gave Henry my updated schedule to let him know I wouldn’t need his services while I was away. I mentioned I’d be in Fiji and that I’d invited you to join me. He must have assumed that you’d said yes.”

“Oh.” His explanation did make sense.

“Oh.” He gave my hand a gentle squeeze and a smile twitched on his lips. Dropping my hand to rest in my lap, he continued getting dressed, slipping into dark jeans and a long-sleeved gray T-shirt.

“Can I get you a glass of wine and you can tell me the rest of what’s on your mind?”

“Sure.” I let him guide me into the kitchen, his fingertips pressing lightly into my lower back. I lingered by the kitchen island while Ben opened a bottle of white wine. “Chateau Ste. Michelle Riesling.” He held up the green bottle for me to see. “It’s sweet, just like you.”

I accepted the glass he offered, little dots of condensation already forming on the goblet.

“Are you ready to tell me what’s on your mind? I think you’ve left me in the dark about your feelings long enough.”

I nodded. He led the way to the living room. “I don’t like feeling pressured into making a decision,” I said once we were seated together on the sofa.

His eyes lifted to mine. “I never meant to pressure you, but before you answer, there’s something I need to say.” He hesitated a moment, peering down into his wineglass. “You know my background. It’s not something I talk about with very many people. I never knew my dad, I was raised by a single mom who took off for months at a time when it suited her, so I’m sorry to put added pressure on you, but I need you to understand I don’t handle rejection well.”

His raw honesty surprised me. It wasn’t what I expected him to say. I remained silent for several moments, taking in what he’d just told me. He’d be hurt if I refused his offer. The last thing I wanted to do was reject him. From the beginning I’d wanted to care for him, soothe him, and I understood now that he was putting himself out on the line—not only by inviting me on his next assignment but by offering me a job and his home as well. This was a big step for him.

“Ben, I will happily work for you. But the pay you proposed is too much.”

He watched me intently, waiting for me to continue.

“And as your assistant and your girlfriend,” I smiled at the word, “of course I’ll go to Fiji.”

“But you won’t move in?” he asked, his eyes reading the indecision in mine.

“No.” I swallowed. “Not yet, anyway. I like having my own space. I came to New York intent on paving my own way, and I met Ellie and we really clicked. I’m not ready to give all that up just yet. I hope you understand. It has nothing to do with you.”

He nodded. “Okay. It’s something to build up to.” He leaned in close and pressed a sweet kiss to my lips.

“We leave tomorrow, right? I should probably go home and pack.”

He shook his head, kissing me again. “Not necessary,” he mumbled against my lips. “I already packed a bag for you.”

I laughed. “Really? It’s probably nothing but frilly panties and maybe a sex toy, knowing you.”

“I guess you’ll have to wait and see.” He kissed down my throat, roaming over to the side of my neck to nibble at the skin below my ear, and I shuddered involuntarily, forgetting all about packing.