Crazy About the Baumgartners

Chapter Ten

The Baumgartners had generously given me my own laptop for Christmas, but the photo software I had installed wasn’t anywhere near as good as the computer in Doc’s office. He had Photoshop on that machine and his own laptop, but I didn’t want to ask them to spend another gazillion dollars to put it on mine too, so I just used the computer in the office.

It was hard walking into that room. Holly’s bedroom. I thought of it that way still, even though it had been months since she slept here. The walls were now taupe, the mural painted over, the ceiling an off-white that was almost gray, and Doc’s office furniture had been moved back in. It was an office again, and all traces of the baby had been erased. Carrie and I had packed up all her sweet, little pink baby things and boxed them. The social worker promised she would give them to Holly’s grandmother. The baby furniture, purchased new, had gone to Goodwill.

I sat at Doc’s desk, turning on the computer. Poor Holly. The judge had ruled, just like Doc said he would, to award permanent custody of the baby to her paternal grandmother in Manti, Utah. I liked to think that maybe she was going to have a great life out there, that her grandmother would love her and care for her because they shared the same blood. But if being blood related made people kinder to each other, Holly never would have come to us in the first place.

“Gretchen?” Carrie called from downstairs. “Are you coming?”

“In a minute!” I plugged my camera in, waiting for the pictures to load, smiling as Janie and Henry’s smiling mugs popped up, one after another.

Their mother’s birthday had been a grand occasion so far, between dinner out and a beautiful cake Doc had picked up from the local bakery. Sometimes I thought we should stop celebrating birthdays once we started to feel old, because no one liked them much anymore, except those who still were young. Carrie’s birthday had been far more fun for Janie and Henry so far than it had been for her. Not that she minded, I don’t think. She’d agreed to celebrate for them, because they wanted it, not because she did.

I loaded the photos onto the computer and then cleared the camera, making room for more photos. We still had to eat cake and Carrie had to open her gifts. I had to get pictures of that.

Downstairs, Janie and Henry were fighting over which of them would get the biggest frosted red rose on Carrie’s birthday cake. There was no age on it, just “Happy Birthday, Mom.” We’d talked about this upcoming birthday and Carrie said she was dreading it.

“Why?” I’d asked.

“Because it’s just one more year on the planet. And now every year, I’ll be thinking, I wonder what she looks like now? I wonder what she did this year?”

I just hugged her. There was nothing more to say.

The Baumgartners had requested they be notified about Holly once a year-just a picture, an update, something-but the grandmother had refused. They never even met the grandmother so couldn’t appeal to her compassion or consideration. A lawyer handled all the court appearances and paperwork, and when the judge decided and we had to give Holly back, a social worker came to the house to get her, later taking her on her first plane ride to Utah.

“Oh Doc, do we have to do candles?” Carrie complained.

“But if you don’t blow out the candles, you don’t get a birthday wish,” Henry said, aghast, as if giving up your birthday wish was akin to death.

“Oh all right.” She smiled indulgently, ruffling Henry’s dark hair.

“Let me do it!” Henry grabbed the candles-a number three and a number two-from his father, putting them on the cake.

“Oh, hey, look at that, I’m twenty-three.” Carrie grinned, turning the cake to show me. “I’m younger than you, Gretchen.”

“You got them backwards, big guy.” Doc laughed.

“Oops.” Henry flushed, pulling them out and reversing them.

“Get the lights, Janie,” her father said.

We all sang the “Happy Birthday” song, warbly and off-key, but Carrie’s eyes were shining with love as she looked around at all of us. She was happier than I’d seen her in a long time, and I was glad Doc had insisted we make a big deal of this day.

“Make a wish!” Henry insisted.

She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and blew out the candles.

“Okay, who wants cake?” She picked up the knife.

“I want that rose!” Henry pointed at the biggest, fattest one and the argument began anew. In the end, she split it right down the middle, which satisfied neither child because compromise was just two people agreeing to something neither of them wanted.

We ate cake and ice cream-Neapolitan, because Doc loved strawberry, the kids’ chocolate and Carrie vanilla. And me, I loved all three flavors mixed together in the bowl, all creamy and melty in my mouth.

“Presents! Presents!” Henry insisted, dragging his mother into the family room where they were piled up on the table. All of them were from Doc, even the ones he took the kids to the mall to choose, because of course he’d paid for them. There was just one from me and it wasn’t on the table. She opened them all-new slippers, Bath and Bodyworks lotion, a brand new juicer and more toys for the kitchen like a rice cooker and a food chopper. She’d taken to cooking big, gourmet meals, since she’d reduced her hours to part-time at the real estate office.

All the presents were opened when Doc pulled another out of his pocket, handing it to her.

“Oh Doc, you shouldn’t have!” Carrie exclaimed, lifting the necklace he’d bought her out of its box. “This is beautiful!”

“There are three birthstones.” He showed her. “One for Janie, one for Henry, one for Holly.”

“Thank you.” She looked up at him with shining eyes.

He took the necklace from her hands, going around the back of the sofa to put it around her neck. Janie and Henry flanked her, watching their father with big eyes.

“Because she’ll always be part of our family,” Doc murmured, kissing her cheek as he let the necklace dangle between her breasts. “Never forgotten.”

Carrie put her hand over his, on her shoulder, for just a moment, squeezing.

“I have something for you.” I stood, reaching for her hand, and she took it, looking at me curiously as I led her toward the stairs.

“Where are we going?” she asked, following me.

The kids and Doc were just behind her. Upstairs, the hallway was lined with framed photographs Doc had taken of the kids over the years. Carrie had gone a little overboard with the amount of pictures she had framed and put on the wall, and I teased her about “the gallery” but she claimed she always had such a hard time deciding which picture she liked best, so she just framed them all.

“Can you find it?” I smiled, squeezing her hand. “It’s like Where’s Waldo… only it’s Where’s Holly?”

“Oh Gretchen.” She saw it almost right away. Doc had hung it for me before we left for dinner, making room halfway down the hall, between the bathroom and the office. I’d had to keep Carrie downstairs so she wouldn’t see him, which wasn’t easy because she kept asking what “all that damned pounding was going on up there.”

It was a photograph of Holly and Carrie on the beach. Mrs. B was holding her looking back at the camera, and Holly was over her shoulder, smiling in her little suit and sun hat. It was the perfect lighting, the perfect moment. I’d had it printed and had purchased a beautiful, ornate wire frame that spelled out the word “Mother” at the top and “Daughter” at the bottom.

“Thank you.” Carrie put her arms around me, tears in her eyes, which made me tear up too.

I whispered Doc’s words into her ear, “Because she’ll always be part of our family.”

She nodded, wiping her eyes with the back of her hands.

“Okay, can we make popcorn and watch the movie now?” Henry asked, grabbing his mother’s hand and pulling her back toward the stairs.

Carrie snuggled on the couch with the kids while Doc and I went into the kitchen to make popcorn. Doc was the popcorn maker-he did it in a pan on the stove, the old fashioned way with oil-while I melted butter and got out bowls and popcorn seasoning. Everyone liked something different-white cheddar for Henry, cinnamon sugar for Janie, sour cream and onion for me and Carrie, and Doc was a purist. He loved it with just butter and salt. Doc and I had it down to a science. We moved through the kitchen like we were doing ballet, everything orchestrated.

“That was a beautiful gift, Gretchen.” Doc moved in behind me with the hot pan, shaking fluffy white popcorn into each bowl.

“I was nervous. But I’m glad she liked it.” I started pouring butter in as each bowl was filled. “So you’re really sure you’re not going to try again?”

“No.” He shook his head, taking the now empty pan over to the sink. “Too much heartache, like Carrie said. I don’t think we’ll be fostering any more babies.”

“How can someone come into your life, spend such a short time, but you end up loving and missing them so much when they’re gone.?”

“Love is like that.” He moved in behind me again, this time putting his hands on my hips, his lips on my neck. “We get attached.”

“Mmm.” I leaned back against him, smiling. “Are you still planning to give her the other gift tonight?”

“I think so.” His lips on my throat sent goose flesh down my arms. “She’s in a great mood. It’s good timing.”

“I can’t wait.”

The previews had ended and the movie had just started when Doc carried popcorn bowls into the family room on a tray. I had a pitcher of Mrs. B’s homemade lemonade and four glasses. We snuggled on the big sectional couch, Mrs. B in the corner, the kids on either side of her, Doc on one end, next to Henry, me on the other, next to Janie. When the movie was over, it was bed time, although the kids protested. No one wanted the night to end-it had been one of the best we’d had in a long, long time.

“Will you tuck us in, Mom?” Janie pleaded, coming into the kitchen as we cleaned up our popcorn mess.

“Sure.” Carrie kissed the top of her daughter’s head before sending her down the hall to brush her teeth. I went upstairs to my room and I heard the kids pounding up to say goodnight to their father, something they did every night. They rushed by in their PJs, but the Baumgartners’ bedroom door was locked.

“Dad?” They pounded on the door.

“Just a minute!” he called.

He opened his bedroom door and came out to hug and kiss them goodnight. I watched from my perch on the bed as they passed, waving goodnight to me, before he sent them down to their room. Then he crooked his finger at me. I went to him and he opened the bedroom door, leading me inside.

“Wow.” I stared up at the eyebolts in the ceiling. He’d installed those days ago, hoping Carrie wouldn’t notice and, so far, she hadn’t. Now there were two sex swings hanging from them. “Fun!”

“I can’t wait to find out.” He grinned. “Wanna climb in?”

“Now, before she sees them?”

“Yes.” He nodded. “I want you to be part of the gift.”

I smiled, pulling my t-shirt off over my head. I loved the way his eyes lit up when I did that. Doc had me strip down to nothing and then he lifted me into the harness. It was all a collection of straps that went together somehow. Thankfully, he knew what he was doing, because before I knew it, I was strapped in, right at the perfect height for him to fuck me. He could swing me around and I could hold the straps and lean back.

“This is pretty amazing,” I said, wrapping my legs around him-he was still fully clothed-digging my heels into his back as he leaned in to kiss me. His cock sure liked them because he was hard as a rock. I wiggled into the saddle of his hips, rubbing my pussy against the crotch of his pants.

“I hear her coming up the stairs.” He broke our kiss, eyes bright. “Don’t move.”

“Like I could?” I laughed. My thighs were strapped into the swing and I was hanging so far off the ground, my feet didn’t touch.

Doc opened the bedroom door, going out in the hall and closing it behind him. I heard them talking but didn’t hear what they were saying. I looked up at the ceiling, worried the straps and hooks might not hold, even with the T-bar and the springs, but I trusted Doc’s building skills. He’d built the treehouse in the backyard, after all. It seemed secure. I was tempted to actually swing on it, like a little kid, but I didn’t.

“Doc, what surprise?” Carrie laughed as he opened the door and he led her in, his hand covering her eyes. He closed and locked the door behind her, pushing her forward a few steps, judging the distance, looking at me hanging from the ceiling.

“Ready?” He slipped his other arm around her waist, his hand sliding up, not quite cupping her breast.

“Ready for what?” She laughed again.

He uncovered her eyes and she gaped, eyes widening as she looked at me hanging from the ceiling. I stretched out my legs, wiggling my toes, and leaned back, which made my legs spread open like an offering.

“You like your present?” I asked.

Carrie groaned, already unbuttoning her blouse as she came toward me. Her gaze traced the ropes to the ceiling, seeing the second swing hanging loose. She grinned over her shoulder at Doc as she wiggled out of her jeans.

“Is that one for me?”

“Well it ain’t for me.” He laughed.

“Oh look at you.” Carrie grabbed my thighs twirling me around to face her, making me squeal and laugh. “You’re good enough to eat.”

“I hope so.”

And that’s just what she did, lowering her face to my pussy and licking my slit. I moaned and spread wider, arching in the straps. Being in the swing was like free-falling, a little scary and a lot exhilarating. The way he had me hooked up, I could lean back, let the straps around my arms and thighs support me, my head hanging free, while they did anything they wanted.

“Oh yes!” I cried when Carrie sucked my clit between her lips. She spread my legs wider, bending over to eat my pussy like she was a naughty child licking her plate clean at the table after dinner. I held onto the straps, watching as Doc undressed. Carrie was still wearing her bra and panties, tits swaying as licked me.

“Doc!” she gasped when he grabbed her from behind, grinding his cock against her ass, still encased in pink panties.

“I want you in the other one.”

“Can’t I make her come first? Carrie complained, licking her lips.

“I’m all for that idea,” I said, nodding eagerly.

“Nope, not yet.” Doc chuckled, smacking his wife’s ass, making her yelp.

He made her strip, just like he had me, and he lifted her into the harness, adjusting the straps the same way he had mine, until we were both hanging at the same height.

“Don’t you dare leave us,” Carrie warned him

“I don’t think any man in his right mind would leave this room right now, even if it was on fire.” He took a step back, cock in his fist, to admire his handiwork.

We were almost touching, hip to hip, and I reached out, grabbing one of Carrie’s straps, so I could swing her toward me.

“Oh, I like this.” Carrie laughed as our legs entwined, our arms too, both of us completely suspended.

She was soft and supple in my arms, her breasts full, pressed against mine as we kissed. She tasted like me and I sucked at her tongue, wishing I’d been able to eat her too while she was in the swing, but I knew they weren’t going anywhere. We had time.

“Oh God,” Doc murmured, watching as we squirmed closer in our harnesses.

I managed to get my leg over Carrie’s, leaning back so our pussies touched, wrapping my legs around her, my bare heels against her ass. Then I rolled my hips, making little circles, our slick vulvas rubbing together, parting as they grew more and more swollen, until our clits were kissing.

“I’ve got an idea.” Doc went to Carrie’s underwear drawer, digging out one of our newer acquisitions-a double headed dildo.

“Ohhhh yeah!” Carrie panted. “Do it, baby. Put it in!”

Doc parted us, making my clit ache for more stimulation, but then he was sliding the life-like dildo in-my pussy first, and then his wife’s. It was big, very big, and it felt like it might split me apart. I reached for Carrie and she grabbed my hands, both of us looking down at the cock buried in each of us. Then I had an idea.

“Help me, Doc,” I panted. I wanted to be fucked and there was only one way I could see to do it in the harness with this toy. He did what I asked, so Carrie’s feet were pressed flat against mine, our thighs spread wide, the dildo between us. This way, we could both decide how deep, how fast, we wanted to go, while each of us hung onto the straps.

“Oh God!” I cried, fucking myself nice and slow, pushing with my legs, my feet against Carrie’s.

I couldn’t see her, not like this with my head back, but I could feel her. We caught onto each other’s rhythms quickly enough, the dildo fucking both of us at once. I glanced over to see Doc leaning against the bed, just watching the show, his cock in his hand as he slowly stroked it. Knowing he got off on this excited me and I moved faster, making Carrie move faster too. I wanted to come like this, but I needed more, deeper, harder. Carrie cried out when I started moving my hips in circles, forcing the dildo to turn deep in my pussy, and hers. I started grinding my ass, feeling Carrie’s slapping against mine as we fucked.

“Don’t stop!” she panted. “Oh Gretchen, fuck me, baby! Don’t stop! Don’t stop!”

“So close!” I moaned and rocked, fucking myself deep and hard with the toy, feeling my climax hovering. I was teetering on the edge.

“I’m gonna come! Ohhhhh!” Carrie arched and shoved her ass against mine, pushing the dildo all the way in, and that did it. I was coming too, my body exploding like fireworks, shuddering in my straps. We both completely lost it, letting go, falling free. The dildo slipped out of me first, then her, plopping to the floor, and then I was swinging, turning in slow, lazy circles until I was dizzy.

Doc grabbed my straps and hers, stopping us both.

“Well, I don’t know if you like it,” Doc said, grinning at his wife. “But I love your birthday present. “

“Mmm I love it.” Carrie wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist, pulling him in close. I watched them kiss, saw her hand reach down to grab and stroke him against her wet pussy. “Now fuck me.”

He groaned and slid into her. It was the perfect angle. I bit my lip, watching him fuck her deep and hard, all the pent-up lust he’d been feeling coming through in his motions. I grabbed onto one of Carrie’s straps, wanting to be closer. She moaned and leaned over to kiss me, our tongues meshing as Doc rocked her in the swing.

“Meee tooo,” I protested, fingering myself as I watched.

Doc groaned, sliding out of Carrie and shifting over to me. I spread for him, biting my lip as he slipped his cock, still slick from his wife’s juices, deep into my cunt. He grabbed onto my hips, pumping hard from underneath, like he was trying to fuck me toward the ceiling. I moaned and rocked back against him as best I could-I couldn’t get a lot of leverage in the swing.

“Oh God, I want your mouth,” Carrie moaned into my mine as we kissed.

“I can arrange that.” Doc pulled out, making me whimper, and then he was adjusting my straps. I squealed as he lifted and turned me-he could throw me around like a doll if he wanted to-until I was suspending face down, parallel to the floor and the ceiling, at the perfect height to lick his wife’s pussy.

I grabbed her hips before the swing could turn around, burying my face, hearing her moan. She rocked up to meet me, leaning back in her own swing, head going back. Her pussy was wet from our dildo fuck and Doc’s pounding, and I licked her up and down, tasting her completely before focusing on her clit like she wanted me to.

“Oh!” I stopped for a moment, glancing over my shoulder, feeling Doc moving behind me, between my thighs. “What are you doing?”

“Do you want me to tell you?” He spread my thighs wider. “Or do you want me to surprise you?”

“Surprise me.” I grinned, going back to eating Carrie’s wet cunt. She was sopping, my fingers sliding easily up inside. I had to keep one hand on her ass to keep her from spinning away.

“Oh! Doc!” I looked over my shoulder again, eyes wide, as a cold glob plopped onto my spread ass. “What-?”

But I knew. He was already lubed up and now he was rubbing K-Y into my asshole.

“Hold still now,” he said and I snorted. I couldn’t very well go anywhere. But he didn’t put his cock in my ass, not at first. The first thing he did was slide something into my pussy-and it wasn’t his cock. I didn’t know what it was until he turned it on and I jumped, my mouth coming off Carrie’s clit once again.

“Ohhhhh God!” I moaned as he shoved the Rabbit vibrator in deep and turned it up full blast. Inside, the beads rotated and the dildo turned, while the rabbit part of the vibrator hummed on the outside, tickling my aching clit. He knew I tended to come hard with this one-and fast.

“Ready for your surprise?” Doc caressed my ass, hips pushed up against me to keep the vibrator in.

“Yes!” I bit my lip, feeling Carrie’s hand in my hair as he pressed the head of his cock against the pucker of my ass. “Ohhhh Doc! Ohhhh!”

“Good girl,” Carrie whispered, her eyes full of lust as she watched her husband ease his way into the hot, tight channel of my ass. “You can take it.”

I nodded, crying out as he pressed past that first ring of muscle, the head slipping in, opening me wide. That was the hardest part. Doc adjusted, holding my hips steady as he pushed deeper in, making me moan loud and long. Carrie licked her lips, watching with half-lidded eyes, looking from me to her husband, meeting his eyes over my head.

“Ohhh Doc, yes!” I arched, trying to meet him, the vibrator humming against my clit, his cock buried all the way in my ass now. “Fuck my ass!”

He groaned at my assent, driving in, keeping his hips pressed to mine so the vibrator buried in my cunt could do its work too. Carrie grabbed a hand full of my hair and mashed my mouth against her pussy, moaning when I fastened my lips over her clit and lashed it with my tongue. It was a race to see who would come first. My pussy was filled to capacity, my asshole stretched wide, taking Doc’s pounding cock. Carrie shuddered and bucked in her swing, her thighs spread wide, taut, as I sucked and licked her toward climax.

But it was Doc who beat us all. He couldn’t hold out.

“Ahhhh I can feel that fucking thing vibrating in your pussy,” he moaned, gripping me hard and driving into me. “Ohhh it’s so fucking good! Baby! Ahhhhhh!”

He exploded inside of my ass, a geyser, a volcano of white hot molten lava. I cried out against Carrie’s pussy, but she had my mouth pressed tight to her clit, riding my face, and Carrie came in second, shuddering all over with her climax, straining in her straps. I was last, my orgasm catching up to me all at once, quaking through me, my clit and pussy throbbing with wave after wave of pure pleasure. I thought, for a moment, I might black out completely and I closed my eyes and hung on for dear life.

I don’t know if it was minutes or hours before we were all in the Baumgartners’ big bed, me tucked down between them under the covers. Doc had taken the harnesses and swings down from the ceiling and they were packed away in a box under the bed to be pulled out at some later date, when we wanted to mix things up again. So many options, so many possibilities. They were endless-thank God. Because I couldn’t ever imagine being “done” with this. The thought wasn’t feasible.

“What did you wish for?” I asked Carrie as Doc turned off the light.

“If I tell you, it won’t come true.” She kissed the top of my head. We were quiet and then she whispered, “I couldn’t wish for anything better than what I have right now.”

I felt Doc’s hand move over her hip, his arm resting across mine, all of us together in one big bed. I would go back to my own, by morning. We got up long before the kids. So far, it had all worked out pretty well. I closed my eyes, breathing in the scent of our sex that lingered in the room. I loved the smell of us, the taste of us-I loved us.

I wondered what Ronnie would say, if she knew I was with the Baumgartners now. And finally, I understood. I knew why Ronnie had left, why she had chosen Vince. I’d been too afraid of getting attached to really commit to what we had. I had spent my whole life afraid, trying to keep my distance. I’d taken care of other people’s children, but I never thought of them as my own. I had been with men and women, but had never let anyone get too close.

It had taken living with the Baumgartners, growing far too attached, to them, to their children, to teach me how to really let go, how to be free, how to love. I was still afraid-the fear of loss was there, whether I tried to pretend it was gone or not-but I was doing it anyway. We’d all learned what it meant to love and lose someone. I didn’t think any of us would ever forget Holly, even though she’d only been with us for such a short time.

And I hoped, somewhere deep in her psyche, Holly would remember us too, remember how much we’d loved her. And I think she’d loved us too, from that deep, soulful part of her that had existed before and would exist long after she came into the world. I didn’t believe in an all-knowing, all-seeing Daddy-God in the sky, like Maureen Holmes did-but I did believe in love. Love went on, endless, before and after everything.

And I loved the Baumgartners. They made it easy, and slowly, finally, I was beginning to understand what it was like to have a home, to be part of a real family.

“Do you think you’ll ever get sick of me?” I whispered.

“Not a chance.” Carrie petted my hair in the dark. “Why, are you sick of us?”

“Never.”

I sighed happily, snuggled down between them, knowing it was true. We belonged to each other now, fully and completely, without reserve. I wasn’t ever going to tire of this.

I was crazy about the Baumgartners.