Criminal Mischief

6

Stone pressed the button. “Hello?”

“ ‘Hello’? Is that all you’ve got to say?”

“So far,” Stone replied. “What’s up?”

“You can say that to me?”

“I just made the attempt. Listen, we’re just sitting down to dinner. Can we talk later?”

“ ‘Later’? You think that will do?”

“Tink, this is your phone call. What is it about?”

“Did you watch the evening news?”

“No, I was dressing to go out about that time.”

“What kind of lawyer are you, anyway?”

“One who dresses before going out to dinner.”

“Where are you?”

“I’d tell you, if you promised not to come here, but you’d come anyway, wouldn’t you?”

“In my current state of mind, yes, probably.”

“What is your current state of mind?”

Tink searched for a word. “Bereft,” she said, finally.

“Have you been left in a basket on somebody’s doorstep?”

“This is no time to make bad jokes.”

“I’m doing the best I can with the straight lines I’m being given. Toss me another one, and I’ll try to improve.”

“You knew this was going to happen, didn’t you?”

“What has happened? Sorry, I’m working without a net here.”

“Zanian has happened.”

“I messengered you an envelope at midafternoon. Have you opened it and read the contents?”

“Not yet.”

“This would be a good time. Call me back when you’ve read and digested it.” He hung up.

“How bad is it?” Dino asked.

“Bad. I can’t get her to speak the words.”

“Hard to imagine her at a loss for words.”

“Not exactly a loss. She just can’t bring herself to speak them in the proper order.” His phone rang. “Hello?”

“This is so typical,” she hissed.

“You haven’t known me long enough to know what is typical for me.”

“Trying to weasel out of it. Typical lawyer.”

“Did you read the document?”

Silence.

“The one with my signature at the bottom?”

More silence.

“I believe I expressed my concern that you were dealing with a dishonest person and should extricate your funds from his grasp at the earliest possible moment.”

“I don’t see the word ‘dishonest’ in this document.”

“I believe I gave you the best advice I could in the circumstances, but you assured me that Mr. Zanian is ‘good as gold.’ I believe that was the expression you used.”

“I knew you would throw that back at me.”

“Then you’re a better judge of character than I realized.”

“That, too.”

“How can I help you, Tink? Right now, I mean.”

“I need a course of action.”

“I believe my recommended course of action was included in my letter.”

“That’s useless to me now.”

“Perhaps it would have been more useful to you at two o’clock this afternoon, when you signed for the letter then didn’t bother to open and read it.”

“It’s useless.”

“Good legal advice is always useless, until it is employed. If you ignore it, as you did, bad things can happen.” Stone held his hand over the phone and said to Dino. “I think tears will happen about now.”

Tink began to bawl. “You bastard!” she screamed.

“Tink, please get some rest and call me tomorrow, and we’ll see what can be done. Good night.” He hung up and switched off the phone.

“What can you possibly do tomorrow?” Dino asked.

“Absolutely nothing, but maybe she’ll be in a better frame of mind to deal with it.”

“I wouldn’t count on it,” Dino said, handing him the menu.

“I’ll have the risotto del mare,” Stone said. “And I will choose the wine, because I’m paying for it.”

“I’ll be happy with the Montrachet,” Dino said.

“My purpose in life is not to make you happy,” Stone said, “at least, not that happy. You can get just as drunk on a nice California chardonnay.”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you? To get me drunk?”

“Not particularly, but you drunk is better than Tink sober.”