Cut and Run

8

‘What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer?’ Charlie Fulgham asked.

Whit and his friend Gooch waited.

The tick falls off you when you die. What do you call a lawyer who doesn’t chase ambulances?’ Charlie shifted his balance, brightened his smile.

‘Retired,’ Whit said, praying this ended the routine.

‘Man, but you’re a judge,’ Charlie said. ‘You’ve heard them all.’ He shook his head, leaned against the doorway, stuck his hands in his pockets.

‘Look,’ Whit said, ‘a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets.’

‘That’s even older,’ Charlie said.

‘And lamer,’ Gooch said in his throaty, low rumble.

‘My problem is, I don’t got a good comedy routine if I tell jokes. I have to tell stories, but if I tell stories on my former clients, I get sued. Vicious circle.’

‘Aren’t most of them in jail?’ Gooch asked.

‘Only the guilty ones,’ Charlie said.

‘Thanks again, Charlie, for putting us up on such short notice,’ Whit said. ‘This sure beats Holiday Inn.’ Whit walked to the guest bedroom’s window. Charlie’s house was in the tony West University Place section of Houston, near the Texas Medical Center and Rice University, old homes full of old money and new money and well-scrubbed families.

Charlie Fulgham didn’t look like a sharkish lawyer. He was boyishly heavy and apple-cheeked, with thick blond hair, wearing a summer Lilly Pulitzer shirt in the winter and rumpled khakis.

‘You’re welcome,’ Charlie said. ‘Yours to use. I’m heading out of town tomorrow. Got a gig in San Antonio. At an actual comedy club.’

‘Is it amateur night?’ Gooch stretched his massive arms above his head, gave a jaw-cracking yawn.

‘So I’m not very good yet,’ Charlie said, ‘but I’m totally fearless. A club’s just a courtroom with drinks.’

‘Except everyone is sitting in judgment of you,’ Whit said.

‘Go back to practicing law, Charlie,’ Gooch said. ‘I’m horrified that wealthy scum of Houston may be lacking representation.’

‘I need a good society murder,’ Charlie said. ‘People have way too much self-control these days.’

Gooch said, ‘Talk about being engaged three times but never married That’s a hell of a lot funnier.’

‘Yes, but that rips my heart open,’ Charlie said.

‘Comedy is pain, bubba,’ Gooch said.

‘Especially mine. I got to go work on my act. I got good lines about mold lawsuits. Y’all stay as long as you need to.’

‘I don’t expect we’ll be here long, Charlie. Thank you again,’ Whit said.

‘Sure.’ Charlie closed the door behind him and they heard the tread of his step going down the wooden stairs.

‘Nice guy,’ Whit said. ‘That audience is in for a laugh-a-minute treat.’

‘That boy’d rather humiliate himself in front of an audience that’s gonna boo him off stage than take another case and a big fat retainer. I hope he makes it. I can’t afford for him to get poor and stop his sport fishing.’

Whit dialed Harry Chyme’s cell phone. He left a message: ‘Harry, it’s Whit. Call me.’

Gooch cracked his knuckles. ‘Let’s talk about the Bellinis. About a plan of action.’ Gooch bent over his duffel bag, pulled out a gleaming Sig Sauer, handed it to Whit. ‘Know your world and get the right spear for it, grasshopper. This is for you. Like I said, this is the only thing the Bellinis will respect.’

Whit held the gun. Beautiful, he thought, although he had never been one much for guns. He knew how to shoot, but it felt awkward and heavy in his hand. ‘This won’t be necessary.’

‘Shows what you know about mob families.’

‘Harry said my mother’s boyfriend runs a high-end strip joint for the Bellinis.’

Gooch took the gun from Whit’s hands. ‘Charlie says Paul Bellini owns Club Topaz. Let’s start there.’

‘I don’t think my mother’s working there, Gooch.’

‘Why don’t you go to the strip club? See what you can see. I got another angle I’d like to work.’

‘I’m calling the shots, Gooch. You understand? I know you’re treating this like a secret mission, but it’s my family problem. I want to handle it my way.’

‘Yes, Your Honor.’

‘Tell me I heard sincerity,’ Whit said.

‘I’m deceit-free right this minute.’

‘What’s this other angle?’

Gooch watched the tree limbs rocking near the window as the wind stirred them. ‘You can try to find your mother at a Bellini hangout. Present yourself as Whit Mosley, nothing to hide, a guy trying to find his mom. Or you can convince Harry that now you’re here, he needs to tell you what he knows and not shield you from the big bad truth. Or… take a more aggressive approach.’

‘Aggressive.’

‘Let’s say you find her, Whit. And she has no interest in seeing you or in a sweet little reunion with your dad before he dies. I’d say toss her over your shoulder and haul her to Port Leo. That’s kidnapping, although I can’t imagine a jury would convict you and she wouldn’t have a lot of sympathy if she pressed charges.’ Gooch let a crooked smile creep across his ugly, kind face. ‘The problem is the Bellinis. They probably don’t take kindly to a guy coming in and hijacking key members of their family. So let me kidnap her; you keep your hands clean.’

Whit paced to the bed. ‘Thanks, but no, Gooch. She’ll come with me.’

‘Why? There’s nothing in her interest to make her do so.’

‘She’ll come,’ he said again.

‘Whit,’ Gooch said, his voice going quiet. ‘Man, I do not want to screw with your head. The bitch-’

‘Don’t call her that.’

‘St Ellen has had thirty years to make amends. She wouldn’t know you if she walked past you on the street. What, she sees you, she suddenly cares? A heart grows where there was stone?’

‘Did you read that in a bad poem?’

‘I wrote that in a bad poem.’

‘So your backup plan is to kidnap her and keep the Bellinis at bay?’ Whit said. ‘You’re a freaking strategic genius.’

‘I’m trying to save you time.’ Gooch shook his head. ‘So what’s it gonna be?’

‘I’m going to see if my new Plan A works first.’

‘What’s Plan A?’

‘Find her,’ Whit said. ‘And get her away from these people. If I can talk to her, really have a conversation with her… that’s all I need to do.’

‘You have an unrelenting and hopelessly naive belief in the goodness of people, Whit. Why should she talk to you?’

‘I’m not so good, Gooch. There’s a man she knew in Montana,’ Whit said. ‘I mention his name, I’ll get her undivided attention.’