Dead On Arrival

Nine

Lilla handed me a fresh ice pack. “So, chéri, nothing yet on the case?”

I took the ice pack, held it to my head, and said, “Thanks. Damn it. No. ER Dano was just about to spill his thoughts to me, and we got interrupted.”

Lilla grinned. Damn, she looked hot like that. If I were a guy, I’d be all over her.

“Not like that!” I chuckled, and grabbed my head. “Ouch.”

“I put you down as sick for the rest of the shift, chéri. You should go home and rest.”

I started to nod and then realized that would hurt like hell. I also realized what an opportune moment this could be. The powers that be around here would think I was still working, and ER Dano and Jagger would (hopefully) think I’d gone home.

But Pauline Sokol had other ideas.

Lilla was a peach, I’d decided, as I walked toward the administrative section of TLC Air and Land. She had signed me out as sick so I’d still get paid, and then she told Pansy about the incident today.

Obviously, grief-stricken Pansy was also the legal eagle in the family, as she insisted I go home for as long as needed-paid, I might add. I figured she’d made the offer in order to avoid any lawsuit I might conjure up. Hmm. I could pay off a lot of bills…

But that wasn’t me.

I went to the office of Pansy’s receptionist and stopped at the door and waited. A few seconds later, a French-Canadian accent sounded over the intercom. “Mrs. Dawson, please report to the main reception area.”

Thank you, dear Lilla.

Mrs. Dawson hurried out, and I only wasted a few seconds wondering what lie Lilla was going to give for paging the woman. Lilla really was a peach.

Looking around, I noticed the door to Pansy’s office was still open even though she’d told Lilla that she had to go meet with the undertaker right after she’d told me to go home. I shuddered, said a prayer for Payne’s soul-which by the sound of things might need a bit more than a “few” prayers. I walked nonchalantly into Pansy’s office…

And nearly passed out from fear!

In the center of the room was a life-size cardboard figure of Payne Sterling.

I grabbed the desk to steady myself since I could almost picture the knife in…

After a few mental shakes, I told myself this was probably for the memorial service-although weirder than anything I’d seen so far. There was an odd expression on Payne’s face-almost a grimace-and I couldn’t help but wonder if he had the last laugh.

But he couldn’t have known he was going to die when this picture was taken.

Okay, Sokol, compose yourself, I ordered. Gawking at an eerie cardboard Payne was not getting me anywhere. I tried to ignore it, easing to the side to get around it. No way in hell was I going to touch the damn thing.

I figured Pansy would be gone for a bit, if not the rest of the day, so I needn’t hurry. Then again, who knew how long Lilla could keep Mrs. Dawson busy?

After taking my gloves from the pocket of my scrubs and pulling them on, I walked to the door and eased it closed, hoping that would buy me time if I heard someone coming. I hurried to the other door and opened it. Good. Payne’s office door was unlocked. A perfect escape route.

I said a quick prayer that I wouldn’t need it, went to Pansy’s desk and started snooping.

After what seemed like hours, I flopped down in her black chair that went with the monochromatic décor and sighed. Nothing. She had nothing left for any evidence-consequently, I had nothing on her. Could twins like Payne and Pansy not be in cahoots? Was it really possible that Payne had been scamming the insurance companies and she never knew about it?

I didn’t buy that.

There had to be something fishy going on here…wait! Pansy must have cleaned out her office of any evidence. That’s why she was here instead of mourning at home.

My gut was talking to me again, and once again, I agreed.

“I’ll get it for you, Miss Sterling.”

Mrs. Dawson!

And, yikes, she was talking to Pansy. I hoped it was on the phone. Before I could find out, the doorknob started to turn…and I got myself through the door to Payne’s office in a flash.

But I kept the door open a crack and watched as the dear woman walked in, hefted up Payne’s picture into her arms, sniffled, shook her head-almost in disgust-and carried him out the door.

Maybe his presence was requested at the funeral home now.

Phew. I leaned against the wall, took in a deep breath and blew it out while looking at the room. Eerie wasn’t quite strong enough of a word. The kaleidoscope-colored room gave me the feeling someone was watching me. I shook my head and ignored the nonsense as I silently walked toward the door.

When I went to grab the handle, a hand covered mine…

My eyelids fluttered. I sucked in some air and tried to remember where I was. Why was I lying on the floor? I looked up to see the colorful room and remembered I was in the late Payne Sterling’s office. “Right,” I muttered. “What the hell made me pass out?”

I heard a soft chuckle and swung my head around to see Sky near the doorway. “I went to get a cold compress. So sorry I scared you, Pauline.” He knelt down and gently set it on my forehead.

As if I’d feel better from a wet cloth. Okay, it was soothing. “What happened?” I held the cloth with one hand and pushed myself to a sitting position with the other. A girl did not want to be lying prone beneath a hunk like Sky Palmer.

“You passed out.”

I raised one eyebrow. “No kidding.”

“Yeah.” He chuckled. “I’m so sorry that I scared you, Pauline. I-” He chuckled again. “This is going to sound so stupid. I came in here to get some log forms for a flight I did a few days ago, and you…you scared the shit out of me!”

I scared this guy?

Then again, maybe that idea wasn’t so far-fetched. I was in the office of a dead man-and obviously Sky hadn’t been expecting to find anyone in here.

“I knew I should have asked Mrs. Dawson to find the logs for me.” He took the cloth from my head. “I’ll go make this colder.”

“No,” I said, even though it would have felt wonderful, but I had to get out of there. Hopefully Sky was so shocked seeing me that he’d forget to ask what I was doing there.

“So, Pauline, what the hell were you doing here?”

So much for my shocked pilot theory.

“Oh, that.” I stood up and wiped at the back of my head. “I hit the back of my head during an ambulance run today. Fell. Well, actually kicked down by a virgin patient.” I rubbed my head a few times. “So Pansy, the generous darling-”

Sky’s eyes darkened.

Interesting.

“Well, she was so sweet to let me go home for the rest of the day.” I rattled on the entire story of Virgin Virginia until poor Sky’s gorgeous, sexy eyes were glazed over.

Not one word that I said explained his original question of what I was doing here, but I’d finagled my way out of answering that with all the bullshit rambling.

Geez. This investigator stuff was getting easier and easier, and now I had to wonder if Sky was involved-or how.

After Sky fell for my long-winded explanation of nothing, we said goodbye and I headed out the back door while he went toward the reception desk. I thought for sure his seeing gorgeous Lilla would confuse him more and make him forget me instantly.

Once seated in my car, I looked at my watch and groaned. Nearly six. The hour of doom.

Dinner at 171 David Drive. Michael and Stella Sokol’s house.

Well, I told myself, worse things could happen to me. Sky Palmer could have ratted me out today. Instead I proudly drove to my folks’ house and pulled in the driveway with a smile on my face-until I noticed the black Suburban parked out front.

Jagger!

Mother had done it again. She had his cell number, which was more of a secret than a sealed envelope holding an Oscar winner’s name. But she managed to get it, call him more than I cared to have her do (which would have been zero), and now he was going to be eating Mom’s tender beef dinner tonight-I already knew the menu because it was Tuesday and my mother made the same meal on the same day of the week every week.

Oh well, I felt like crap after the time I’d just had, and Mom’s home-cooked comfort food would be soothing if nothing else. Today also, I ashamedly admitted, was going to be a spritz-of-pine-scented-Renuzit kinda day. My mother hoarded the stuff for years and sprayed every inch of our house, so much that its Christmassy pine scent became very nostalgic to me. It said home. Safety. Love. And, of course, food. Very comforting. I needed comfort now and a spray of it had fewer calories than the beef dinner.

I’d hurry into the bathroom, inhale a whiff or two and be ready to enjoy-make that tolerate-the meal with Jagger sitting across from me. Plan A was a go.

When I opened the front door, I froze. What the hell was Plan B? I wondered as I saw my parents, Uncle Walt, Goldie, Miles, Jagger, Buzz Lightyear (sitting next to Lilla) and ER Dano, all sitting in the living room.

Even my mother didn’t stock enough Renuzit to get me through these kinds of moments.

I sat on the hamper, leaned against the wall, sprayed the Renuzit and inhaled. It wasn’t as if it were a drug and I was really inhaling, but more like it was a breath of home-Mom and Dad.

Knock. Knock.

“Just a sec,” I said, stuck the Renuzit on the back of the commode and opened the door. “What?”

Jagger looked at me and sniffed.

“Shut up,” I said and started to push past him.

He grabbed my arm.

I sighed before pulling away. Actually, I hesitated before I pulled away. “What are you doing here anyway? And why the crowd?” I said.

“Your mother invited-”

I waved his words away. “No nonsense. Just stop. What are Dano and Buzz doing here?”

Jagger looked at me. I knew he’d never answer a direct question to my satisfaction. He said, “You should be glad I brought them. They might help your case.”

Hmm. “What do you know?”

“Nothing.”

“Then why tease me with-”

Jagger’s lips touched mine, taking my words away. Then again, who cared? Words were cheap and flowing, but a kiss from Jagger was special and rare.

I savored every second, until I heard someone clear their throat and turned to see Goldie coming down the hallway. “Sincere apologies, you two, but nature calls,” he said as he whisked past us, shut the door and, I think, giggled.

Jagger stepped back. “Where were you before? I thought you were supposed to be home resting.”

“I was.” He looked at me. Damn it. Why did I even try? “Okay. Okay. I got into Pansy’s office and then Payne’s again.”

“And?”

“And she’s cleaned everything out, if there was anything, which I highly suspect there was.”

“And in Payne’s? Anything new?”

Suddenly the vision of waking up with Sky Palmer leaning over me, dripping a cold compress on my head came over me. “Er…no. She must have cleaned that out too. Where do you suppose she took it all?”

“I’d say her home.”

“Damn it. Now we need to find out where she lives and get into her place? That could be more than I’m capable of or at least willing to do.”

Jagger chuckled. “It’s not as if you’ve never committed breaking and entering, Sherlock.”

I smiled.

He smiled back.

We smiled together, and suddenly I felt something. Some kind of bond with Jagger.

Could life get any better?

“She and Payne had apartments in the Tudor-style house on the northern part of the TLC property.”

Leave it to him to know that. “Wait! That means it’ll be easier to get into it, since it’s on the property.”

Life did just get better, until Jagger shook his head.

“What?” I said. “What?”

“Why does that make it easier? It’ll still have to be B and E.”

I punched his arm, said, “You are always so freaking negative,” and walked away, all the while knowing full well that I had no idea why I’d said it’d be easier-other than the fact that I hoped it would be. Wait! After the memorial service. Great timing. Yeah.

Back at the dining-room table, I sat down, ignored looks from everyone-who I’m sure was wondering what the hell was wrong with me that I was gone so long-and picked up my knife and fork.

“You can cut my beef with a fork, Pauline,” my mother said in a chastising tone.

I looked up. Yes, everyone was staring. “Force of habit. Guess I’m just used to eating my own cooking.” I forced a laugh.

Goldie returned and joined us.

“Where’s Mr. Jagger, Goldie?” Mother asked.

“Oh. He said he was sorry, everything was delicious but he had to go.” Goldie sat down and picked up his fork, cut his meat and took a bite.

Damn it.

And where the hell did Jagger go? If he went to snoop at Pansy’s by himself, I’d cut him with my fork.

“You boys sit still,” Mother said to ER Dano and Buzz. “Pauline and Lilla will help clean up.” She gave me the “mother eye”.

I sat mesmerized for a few seconds as if in a trance. She tended to do that to me. Then I came to-obviously the change in my career also included a change in personality-and said, “Why? Why do women have to do all the work?”

Goldie and Miles gasped.

Buzz remained silent, although he looked frightened. Obviously he’d gotten to know my mother in a very short time.

Lilla mumbled that she didn’t mind helping.

And ER Dano grinned.

I looked him square in the eye. “How about it? A little help?”

He got up, gathered up a stack of dishes and started toward the kitchen.

“Payback for me cleaning the ambulance,” I whispered as he passed me but fully not intending for him to hear.

“Touché,” he said over his shoulder.

Yikes. I had to keep my thoughts to myself around this guy. He was a sharp one.

Sharp enough to commit fraud?

I leaned back and watched him walk through the doorway.

Great butt.

Geez, I hope he wasn’t involved…in the fraud…or with anyone!

Thank goodness I had the job of cleaning up, I thought. It at least kept me from continuing to ogle ER Dano and his great butt.

How pathetic.

Once the dishes were cleared, I took the salt and pepper shakers-Mickey and Minnie Mouse, which Mother had since the fifties I’m sure-into the kitchen. Lilla was wiping the counter.

Daddy had gone to the living room to read-an all-night affair. Uncle Walt excused himself to go out-a date with Old Lady Wimple, he’d whispered to me with a wink.

Eeeeeeyew!

“I’m beat, Mrs. Sokol,” Miles said. “Gold, you ready?”

Goldie looked horrified.

My mother touched his arm. “Not to worry, dearie, I’ll put a slice of chocolate cake on a paper plate and you can take it home. Okay?”

He looked like one of my nephews on Christmas morning.

Gotta love Goldie.

Buzz watched my mother cut the cake, and I think he started to drool.

I had to laugh, until I noticed ER Dano-staring at me.

I wanted to say, “What?” but held my tongue so as not to get into an argument in front of everyone. What the hell was he looking at? When I peeked at him again, he nodded his head toward the back door. Toward the back porch door.

Did he want me to follow him?

When he turned and hesitated, I nearly pointed to my chest and mouthed, “Me?” but it was clear, so I said, “I need some air after all that work,” and before my mother could ask what work, I headed out the door. I heard Dano say, “Good idea. Save me a piece, Mrs. S.”

The moon’s glow shone rays of light onto the porch. In the distance the peepers chirped and a gentle breeze bathed the porch in comfort. The neighbors were their usual quiet selves and only the din of traffic could be heard in the distance.

How very romantic, I thought, until I turned around. Romantic is not the term I’d use to describe ER Dano’s glaring at me.

“What the hell were you doing in Payne’s office today, Nightingale?”

Oops.