Death Row

Chapter 13

Gabriel Aravena stared at the man in the tacky suit sitting across from him. Was it really polyester? Surely not. But it seemed like it. If it wasn’t polyester, it was something almost as bad. Not that he was any fashion plate himself; the FastTrak salary didn’t permit such indulgences. But he never looked this pathetic. At least he hoped not.

“And although many parolees find the experience liberating, some also confront serious adjustment problems, once the final tether is broken and they are full-fledged citizens once more. It’s a difficult time for most. I remember a case…”

Aravena could hardly stand it. How long could the man possibly rattle on by himself, without the slightest encouragement from the person to whom he was ostensibly speaking? But this was the last time, he thought, calming himself. The last time ever.

“… getting new bank accounts. Finding a neighborhood. Building relationships with other people. That’s the challenge. But that’s also the great joy. Because in a very real way, you’re building your whole life again from scratch. How many people have that opportunity? Not many. I know a few billionaires who wouldn’t mind having a chance to start over again. Now, I remember one case where…”

How many times had he been forced to come to his PA’s office since his release? Two hundred? Three? He wasn’t sure. It seemed like a million, trapped in this tacky cubbyhole he called an office, reeking of coffee and cigarettes. Listening to the man’s interminable stories…

Melvin Feinstein wasn’t really a bad sort, not once you got past the terminal ennui. As PAs went, it could be a lot worse. Or maybe Aravena had just gotten used to him after all these years. The food-stained shirts. The loud wide ties. He was a package. And despite some wariness, he seemed to genuinely believe Gabriel was over it, that he was going to try to make good now.

Fool.

“You know, Gabe, you ought to get yourself some kind of hobby.”

“Hobby?”

“Yeah. Something to do in your spare time. Something to take your mind off other things.”

Like little girls?

“Like me, see, I collect snow globes. Don’t ask me why or how. I just love ’em. Even the cheesy ones.”

They’re all cheesy ones, Aravena thought silently.

“I guess my mom gave me one when I was twelve, when she and the old man got back from some big trip to Hawaii. I’ve been collecting them ever since. And I take care of them. Dust them, clean them. Rearrange them. Play with them. Gives me something to do when I’m not working. Something to relieve the pressure. You oughta have something like that.”

How about your daughter, you smug son of a bitch? “Well… I like to watch television.”

“Pfff.” Harvey pushed the air with his hands. “TV is for morons.”

Whereas snow globes were for Mensa members. “My work at FastTrak does not leave me a great deal of spare time.”

“Yeah.” Harvey shifted around so he could look at the file on the table before him. “I can believe that. Your supervisor thinks you walk on water, you know. He’s very impressed. Thinks you’re going to be considered for promotion again in no time at all.”

“I’m glad that he is pleased.”

“I’ll bet you are.” Harvey winked. “Wouldn’t mind having a few more bucks in the basket, huh?”

Aravena tried to smile. What an utter boob this man was. And the State of Oklahoma had required him to visit this cretin once a week, ever since his release. As if any possible good could come from it. At least Dr. Bennett was a doctor. This man was nothing. A fool. A total waste of time.

But, he consoled himself-a waste of time who would soon be out of his life for good.

“So, you feelin’ all right, Gabe?”

“I am well.”

Harvey nodded. “Medication still working for you?”

“Of course.” At least he wasn’t asking about erections and ejaculations. Not in so many words.

“Must be a hell of a thing. I mean the… the… you know.” He waved his hands around his chest. “Do they itch?”

That again. Why did the whole world obsess over his breasts? “They did. I now… bind them. Both for comfort and for appearances.”

“I expect that would draw a lot of attention at the FastTrak.” He drummed his fingers on the table. Aravena could tell there was something he wanted to say. “You know, Gabe, what you did…” He drew in his breath. “We haven’t really talked much about your crime. I didn’t see the point. I assumed you preferred it that way. But I have to ask. Before I give you the final check mark. Do you think you might ever… you know… have any… feelings like that again?”

“Absolutely not,” Aravena said. He tried to wear that confident, square-jawed look he knew would impress this buffoon. “I no longer have any sexual feelings.”

“Nothing?”

“Nothing.”

“ ’Cause you know, it’s still possible.”

“I no longer have any such feelings… as I once did. I know I never will. That is all in the past.”

Harvey peered into his eyes for a moment, then slowly nodded. “You know what, Gabe? I believe you. I really do. I’m going to okay your release from supervision.” He began scribbling on a form in his file.

Aravena tried to suppress his elation, but it took some doing. It was finally going to happen! No more tether. No more visits to the shrink. No more injections. No more endless stories from this fool. No more unexpected visits to his apartment. Freedom. Total and utter freedom. To do whatever he wanted. Whenever he wanted.

Harvey slid the form across the table, grinning. “Congratulations, Gabe. You’ve passed.”

“Thank you, sir. Thank you very much.”

“Of course, you’re still expected to take the medication.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” If the man would believe that, he’d believe anything.

“And I’d still like to drop by to visit. Just every now and again. On an informal basis. To see how you’re doing.”

“I would be honored.” I will move. I will change the locks.

“One other thing, Gabe. I hate to mention it, but… you know, we’re supposed to register former sex offenders. Once they’re released from custody.”

“What do you do?”

“Oh, some of the boys in the department go door-to-door to inform the neighbors. Just so they won’t be blamed later if something should happen.”

“If the police go door-to-door to inform all my neighbors… then I won’t have any neighbors.”

“Yeah. Exactly.” He pondered a moment, then made a few pencil scribbles on his file. “You know, Gabe, I’m going to forget to forward this information to the law enforcement boys. I just don’t think it’s necessary.”

“Thank you very much.”

“It could do you a lot of harm. And no good at all. None that I see, anyway.” He fell silent a moment. “But this means I’m trusting you, Gabe. I believe you’ve changed. I really do.” He peered across the table, insisting on eye contact. “Don’t make me look like a fool, okay?”

“Of course not,” Aravena said. You do that for yourself so well already.

The two men rose and shook hands. “Thank you for everything you have done on my behalf all these years,” Aravena said. “I mean that sincerely.”

Harvey smiled. Aravena had a sense that he wished to embrace, but that wasn’t going to happen. There were limits to what even he would do.

As Aravena left his PA’s office and stepped out into the sunshine, it did indeed seem as if he had entered an entirely new world. A world filled with challenges. And possibilities. And there they were, all around him. The woman walking toward him on the sidewalk. That little piece of jailbait on the other side of the street…

He had regained his freedom, despite everything, despite every evil thing he had locked up in his heart. He had done his time and survived. But the best of it was-they had never learned the truth. They had no idea. The worst of it. They didn’t have a glimmer. If they knew what he had done…

But they didn’t. And now he was free.

He strolled toward the Tulsa Transit bus stop, a happy man. There were always so many women riding the bus. So many women crowded together in such a small space.

The world was filled with possibilities.